What to do when others ask too much of you?

[Katiedash]

When living life as a father, mother, pastor, friend, sister, brother, aunt, uncle etc. and so many around you know you are a Christian. Many think of Christians as perfect, holier than thou, happy, never make mistakes. What do you do when people around you expect too much of you? You do not want to let Jesus down. I mean it does say in the Bible that many times the only gospel people see is our lives. Does that put too much of a burden on you? How do you deal with it?

 

[Hearingheart]

There is only 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week. If you have children that you are raising, they are a priority and that is your current ministry. If you have a full time job, you can use that to love those you come in contact with and thereby minister to them. If you do volunteer work, that's another chunk of time set aside. Sometimes there may be someone who needs a meal brought to them or to give someone ride or whatever.
At some point you need to learn how to say no and not feel guilty. Saying no can actually allow someone else the opportunity to serve and it may give those who only take an opportunity to lean of someone else.
I don't understand how you're letting Jesus down by not being everything to everyone. Even he would take time to pray and have a time of restoration away from the crowds while he walked on the earth.

 

[Katiedash]

We may understand that we cannot do everything. But others do not understand this. Or, still yet there are those out there that feel they need to be everything for everyone or they are letting Jesus down. I agree we can only do so much. But what do you say, how do you handle it when someone comes to you and says, "I thought you were Christian and you can't help me with...."
Or, you make a poor decision, because after all we are human. A non-Christian comes to you and judges you and thinks well if that is how Christians are I would never want to be a Christian.

 

[mama2one]

But others do not understand this. But what do you say, how do you handle it when someone comes to you and says, "I thought you were Christian and you can't help me with...."

If you totally wear yourself out and get sick, you're no good to anyone.
Most people know one person can't do everything. Sadly, there are some people who know how to feed on people's sense of guilt and can easily manipulate others to do things.
I know one Christian who has difficulty saying no and constantly takes the extra hrs at work while ALL the others turn down the extra hrs. And also steps up to do parent led things because others don't want the responsibility.
Is she a better Christian for working herself to death and being the ONLY person to step up and fill in?
Think it has nothing to do with her being a Christian but has to do with the inability to say sorry, no not today. (and therefore let someone else step up to the plate)
It's also about setting priorities.
There are some people so busy doing volunteer work, helping others, and then their kids have to stay at day care longer and don't get enough time with their mom.
Moderation and priorities.
They will know you are Christian by your LOVE not by how much you overwork yourself.

 

[akaDaScribe]

We may understand that we cannot do everything. But others do not understand this. Or, still yet there are those out there that feel they need to be everything for everyone or they are letting Jesus down. I agree we can only do so much. But what do you say, how do you handle it when someone comes to you and says, "I thought you were Christian and you can't help me with...."
Or, you make a poor decision, because after all we are human. A non-Christian comes to you and judges you and thinks well if that is how Christians are I would never want to be a Christian.

Moses's father in law showed him how to share the burden. All things are not meant for you to bare alone.
Exodus 18
Bible Gateway passage: Exodus 18 - King James Version

 

[Katiedash]

Yes, maybe it is she is looking for the accolades for doing so much. So it comes down to how we feel about ourselves, where do we want to get our self-esteem from? From man, or from God?

 

[dreadnought]

When living life as a father, mother, pastor, friend, sister, brother, aunt, uncle etc. and so many around you know you are a Christian. Many think of Christians as perfect, holier than thou, happy, never make mistakes. What do you do when people around you expect too much of you? You do not want to let Jesus down. I mean it does say in the Bible that many times the only gospel people see is our lives. Does that put too much of a burden on you? How do you deal with it?

The Lord doesn't want us to be overburdened - it doesn't help us or help him. Learn to say no.

 

[mama2one]

So it comes down to how we feel about ourselves, where do we want to get our self-esteem from? From man, or from God?

if you are following what God wants you to do, you don't need to seek self-esteem elsewhere? as we are already loved by God
sometimes people don't feel loved, so they will seek out to do everything to get accolades on earth

but certainly, if one has the time, ability, calling to help someone who comes to them,there's no reason to say no
and of course, sometimes a sick parent, relative, neighbor has no one but YOU for a time and then your immediate family may have to understand for a while if you're called up to help elsewhere

that is when prayer for guidance comes in definitely to see where you should go

 

[LoricaLady]

Don't worry about their opinions. We are to be focused on the Father's opinions. Be humble, if challenged and admit you are "a work in progress." Maybe give testimony, if it seems wise, to the ways in which you HAVE been changed.

 

[Kit Sigmon]

When living life as a father, mother, pastor, friend, sister, brother, aunt, uncle etc. and so many around you know you are a Christian. Many think of Christians as perfect, holier than thou, happy, never make mistakes. What do you do when people around you expect too much of you? You do not want to let Jesus down. I mean it does say in the Bible that many times the only gospel people see is our lives. Does that put too much of a burden on you? How do you deal with it?

I meet out what's to be done, I say "no" when I can't do more... there be nothing in the Bible that states a believer is to work his/or herself to death.
Our Lord showed us how to walk/how to do things...He took time to get away from the crowds, he would go out to quiet places to pray/be alone/refresh.

Jesus is our example, let us be His Ambassadors and remember that he himself took time to rest and refresh...in this way we too are being a living example of our wonderful Savior.

 

[Hearingheart]

But what do you say, how do you handle it when someone comes to you and says, "I thought you were Christian and you can't help me with...."
Or, you make a poor decision, because after all we are human. A non-Christian comes to you and judges you and thinks well if that is how Christians are I would never want to be a Christian.

So are your questions just hypothetical or real situations? Some of these depend on the situation

"I thought you were a Christian and you can't help me with..."
Depends on what they are asking for and whether it's constant or one time thing. Maybe a conversation about Christianity would be in order or you need to define your boundries.
Or, you make a poor decision.....a non Christian comes to you and judges....
From what I've experienced, non Christians usually turn away from the faith because of how Christians treat each other or their behavior towards non believers is ultra critical (for example; legalistic attitude, gossip and slander, fear of someone different) Most people are understanding when we fall and humbly get up and keep walking.
I don't put up with people who mock me or my faith, who delight when I fall or who seek to manipulate me.

 

[akaDaScribe]

We may understand that we cannot do everything. But others do not understand this. Or, still yet there are those out there that feel they need to be everything for everyone or they are letting Jesus down. I agree we can only do so much. But what do you say, how do you handle it when someone comes to you and says, "I thought you were Christian and you can't help me with...."
Or, you make a poor decision, because after all we are human. A non-Christian comes to you and judges you and thinks well if that is how Christians are I would never want to be a Christian.

Depending on who these people are, it sounds like they are saying that to you to get you to do things.

Kind of like when someone's mother says if my son loved me he'd visit for breakfast and for dinner.

It's just guilt tactic for people to get what they want from you.

People saying i thought you were a Christian in a condescending way, are probably getting a rise out of hurting you.

"be wise as serpents, harmless as doves"

Being a Christian does not mean subjecting yourself to abuse for the sake of abuse. The saints suffered persecution for the Gospel's sake, meaning they would not stop preaching regardless of what was done to them and they kept the faith no matter what was done to them.

 

[sunshineforJesus]

I've had to learn to just say no.