to be a christian and have the messiah delusion

[Gottservant]

You are very hard to understand. I do not mean that as an insult, just as something that can't be avoided.

Try to start with the structure of what you want to say, not the actual words.

I suppose that's if you want more people to understand you, maybe you are comfortable with the people that already do (I'm trying to say that as a friend).

 

[xounstaer]

i am greatfull for your message and how open you are to me.

i named the subject the messiah delusion so that people do not immidiatly call me insane. but i will carry this with me the rest of my life. what i need to do is find a way to live with what god has shown or given me in my life, within this society.

the most important to me is that i have no doubts where it comes to knowing who i am andd what role i have. sometimes i have greatest thoughts yes but i keep them down. i like to stand below the other and i see jesus as the center key from the fundament and not myself really. i do believe in all the things i say i stand by them.

if you dont mind i would l ike to post this in the topic ass well.

@staff may the topic title be changed into "being human and messiah" tyia

right now i am just a human as you see and i understand it is hard to comprehand all the things i am saying and how confused i may seem or so.

but for example if i read the bible or the sjitta it really only makes me stronger in what i allready believe, only in my way then, i dont see another way, the topic title may also be changed into just leaving the delusion awya.

@ staff : "being christian and messiah" is also fine.

for the rest me days and my believe goes as it does, for the rest i do not seek to be internationally famous or so i just like to for now show you that i am firm and i have been this way ever since god showed me the truth and revealed himself to me i saw him in full glorie.

offcourse he is everywhere and everything but this one miracle which is everlasting i may see he shown me i will never forget and against my prayers to never see the black and orange liquid surface of the sun again i do wih that some day it will be seen again.

but perhaphs messiah is the wrong word since we believe it is jesus, now i read revelations and that god would reveal himself again.

i believe this is what happened to me.

do you think that that jesus would not return in person but just globally as some of the new church for example do?

 

[xounstaer]

@staff, may the topic's title be changed into: "being me and messiah"

 

[Noxot]

hahaha. 'me and messiah'. that is the kind of children books little kids need to read. sadly the spiritual children will have a totally different idea about what i mean as they seem to always and without fail... punch themselves in the face and refuse to call Jesus their brother.

and it is true that the little spiritual babies are taught that which is good for them to eat of but it is like they never want to grow up. how long are you going to eat of this mana that has long ago turned into worms? how long will humanity keep provoking God before God said "fine then! you go and eat of this flesh for a long while til you get sick of it because that is what you have turned my manna into!"

the prophets always had a hard time fitting into the normalcy/insanity of society. but they did learn how to function within it.

it is too bad that we do not understand 'Dutchanese' though. but then in another sense even if you spoke perfect English... people would for the most part not understand. you have no hope in hell of ever speaking correct and "proper" english if you try to learn from me. but i think in english. do you think in english?

but it is easy for me to see where you stand in your spiritual understanding. certainly the church is not just an organization... the church is true humanity and more. it was the JEWS and their pride of nationalism that wanted an earthly kingdom. humans want to rule the world like the spirit of the worlds kingdoms rule. it is madness. 'sit at my right hand while I make the earth your footstool'. he is always coming and a persons time is any time but it's like they don't wanna show up to the party going on in the kingdom of heaven.

 

[xounstaer]

i posted underneath schizophrenia for a reason @Noxot.

i had the highest grade in english at school for exam. and i have thought and dreamt in english though it is not my first language

i will keep it simple then.
the
my psychosis still hasnt left me. and i havent read here in a while.
i have had a rough time the past three years. i have been locked up quite a lot.
and people have tried to cure me and treat me.
i havent been online for a long time and the only contact i had with people who believe in christ was by the internet.

i've tried to leave it alone. i got rid off all i wrote. i got rid of my bible and all my belonings.
i arived here in this town called etten-leur with nothing but some clothes and a cell phone, which i havent got anymore.

now i have bought a bible again and i've read matheus marcus and lucas.

i started in john but i was a bit drunk. so i'll restart reading john.
i've read the bible before, some books i have read a dozen times including the letters.

my believe hasnt perished i tried to say farewell but that didnt work obviously.

(i never learned english at school i grew up with english speaking people)

sorry if i am hard to understand but try to imagine that you where me. i see how much i believe when i look back. i still do so. only i am more aware i sound insane perhaps.

i am 30 years of age now. when i came to the thought i am the messiah i was 20 and younger. it wont ever leave me.
i can try to betray myself but it doesnt work.

i cant turn anywhere but a few sites online tot talk about christianity in common and how i live it.
off-line i dont know anybody who i can turn to.

but would anyone call me a liar or a nuthead because i believe?

how about i am a prophet you call me false.
and if you dont call me false i am still denied.
here i go again it seems then.

you shouldt believe in me, believe in reality and christ with that. at least believe.
question me why i think to be the messiah.

and forgive me my mistakes and lack of english and that i am no proffesor.

where can i turn?

 

[Gottservant]

I think your madness is quite exquisite, actually.

It is the madness of caring when nothing is understood, because believing would be Christian.

I wonder if you really work the cure, that is in you to release - if the Holy Spirit is there, then you can't be completely mad (so a cure, in Him, would be possible).

I don't know that what is relevant right now is so much a cure, as your sense of what gives you "salt" - though, to tell you the truth. Salt within. If you have that, nothing much at all can drive you mad, or diminish you, or whatever it is you tell yourself you should be (or have been) within.

It's a choice - if madness ever were not, it would not be madness, it would be death (to say the least).

 

[orangeness365]

That sucks that you've suffered through so much. I don't know where you can turn.

 

[Noxot]

@xounstaer your english seems better now. this entire world is a nutjob. in some ways Christianity is dead and the only thing alive is the kingdom of heaven. when you said "where can i turn to?" it reminds me of when Jesus said:

And Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.”

i arived here in this town called etten-leur with nothing but some clothes and a cell phone, which i havent got anymore.

hahahaha if you don't have a phone that is fine but I hope to God you still have cloths on. you know you're crazy if you walk around with no cloths in the city. i'm joking. are you stable enough to keep a job? i hope so. I dunno what else to say right now. you do still seem deeply rooted in the truth. I don't find it wrong to drink every now and then as long as you don't hurt yourself or get into trouble or become an alcoholic.

 

[thesunisout]

hey friend you asked where can you turn? you can turn to Jesus because he is your savior. if you think that you are Jesus you can't get his help. you have to surrender your belief that you are the Messiah to him and ask him to save you. you need his help friend and he will help you when you give your life to Him. Will be praying for you God bless

 

[xounstaer]

thanks for the kind replies

i have surrendered my life to god and with that to jesus, i have been a christian for qute a while now.
still this psychosis remais it is a delusion. but then i tell you what other people told me about my thoughts and experiences and feelings

i know christ would return and within my delusion i still think i participate in that directly and fysically.

it almost allready had led me to death but thankfully i still live though there have been many time i'd rather pass on.

i started this thread quite a while ago and know it makes me think, would i be rejected as a prophet?

cant nobody see christ lives in me, but i live in christ in this life as well.

how would jesus return?

 

[Noxot]

as christians we are all part of his body. as non-fallen humans we are all in him and he in us for he is true humanity.

 

[Gottservant]

I would say you are a return of Christ, but a lesser return _____ not a greater return.

Anyone else, can take it or leave it - I'm not saying it to them.

To me, there's nothing wrong with other people being derivatives of Christ _____ _____ as long as you don't go after them.

 

[xounstaer]

i am happy to hear these words from you gotservant@

 

[sahjimira]

Well, the bible says Jesus returns in the clouds and all will see Him. If you know this is a delusion u have about yourself, why persist with it. As born again Christians we have Jesus and the Holy Spirit living in us. Are u sure that u just don't get a payoff and enjoy it and really don't want to change? U may have had some wonderful insights but we all do at times. I know I have. God is faithful and will help u

 

[Gottservant]

delusions are not foolish, as long as the respect of them is consistent with what you remain called to do

 

[xounstaer]

No i came here cause i didnt know where else to turn to. And i dont think i am the messiah for the kick of it. It belongs with my psychoses. At least the shrinks told me that is psychotic.

And i dont tend to be more or less thinking to be the messiah.Ik

I will forget the unkind reply.

But really it sticks with me because of my experience with the sun and after that the painfull stigmat i also believe in god and christ and the holy spirit.

But me believing to be th e messiah will stay with me for a lifetime. And no i don t need a cure for it. I allready get haldol injections and take anti depressers and more. I can understand if you just think i am crazy because i think to be the messiah. But really i am not all that sick and am a pretty normal perzon who just happened to witness revelations on a private base and i think testifying is only right

Well thanks anyway

 

[xounstaer]

sry to dig this one up...

can we seriously continue this? 14 january i turn 32 years old
i wish u all good holidays and everybody really.

please pray for me to be in well fysical condition..if u will.


dont listen to me
1 listen to god.
2 listen to the sun..


run a check.
resaerch it....

 

[thesunisout]

sry to dig this one up...

can we seriously continue this? 14 january i turn 32 years old
i wish u all good holidays and everybody really.

please pray for me to be in well fysical condition..if u will.


dont listen to me
1 listen to god.
2 listen to the sun..


run a check.
resaerch it....

Hello,

Jesus Christ is knocking on your door, will you open it?

Revelation 3:20

Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me