This is kind of neat. Humor me and participate?

[Sword of the Lord]

I hate to hear people chewing. How are you with that?

 

[LoAmmi]

I hate to hear people chewing. How are you with that?

LOL It depends on the day to be honest. Sometimes that really gets to me.

 

[Sword of the Lord]

My mother in law is my worst nightmare with it, especially when she eats salad. She drenches it in ranch, so then slurps the ranch and salad into her mouth, and then CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH. I'm not always so gracious about it. I'll literally smack my hands down on my lap and just glare. Really? REALLY?

 

[LoAmmi]

I always kind of chalked these things up as part of the other neurological problems I have. Interesting stuff.

 

[Sword of the Lord]

What problems do you have?

 

[LoAmmi]

What problems do you have?

I have epilepsy and visual snow as the two big things. Tend to get a lot of migraines too.

 

[Sword of the Lord]

Interesting. I have snow and sparkles and tinnitus.

 

[LoAmmi]

Interesting. I have snow and sparkles and tinnitus.

Yeah, I get the ringing sometimes. I was born with the visual snow so I don't notice it until it's dark. I really can't see well in the dark.

 

[Sword of the Lord]

I gotta tell you guys, I love this thread.

Another quirk of mine I don't tell people: when I'm left alone, I let loose like a freaking 10 year old. I have a compulsion to throw everything I pick like a ball: shoes, pens, dog toys, water bottles, kids toys, etc. I try to hit targets or make them in things. I looove it. When I'm alone I'll gather shoes and bottles and toys, set up a basket, and go to town playing fetch with myself. The whole time I let loose like a mad man with whistling and finger snapping. Picture that a moment: a grown man, playing fetch with himself with odd objects, whistling, and snapping fingers the whole time, loudly, with a presumably stupid grin on my face.

Sometimes my wife will indulge me and will toss bottles with me. That's kind of neat.

 

[Sword of the Lord]

Yeah, I get the ringing sometimes. I was born with the visual snow so I don't notice it until it's dark. I really can't see well in the dark.

I used to trail the sparkles that moved like a flock of sparrows when I was a child laying in bed.

 

[LoAmmi]

I used to trail the sparkles that moved like a flock of sparrows when I was a child laying in bed.

But other than that, as a child I tended for form better bonds with fictional characters than real people. It got better as I got older and had a really close friend, but then I had to move away and didn't see her so I regressed. By the time I was 18 I basically went to school and didn't want to talk to anybody there.

 

[Sword of the Lord]

I was always the kid to sit in the far corner by myself. My best friend I talk frequently about has something, I don't know what, but he's socially awkward and has a speech impediment, but makes friends more easily that I do. He's been my best friend for almost 20 years. He's the only person I've ever bothered or felt inclined to maintain a friendship with. Any of my other friends during that time were people he befriended, and so they had some similar interest, but I never built any real bond with them and quickly pushed them away and honestly just didn't care about them as far as being friends.

 

[LoAmmi]

Well, I liken it to me having some form of PTSD. I am not exaggerating when I say that up until I was 15, I was in at least one fight a day when I was in school. I was always attacked. The problem was that I never lost fights. When put in fight or flight, I seem to just not feel pain. It continued to escalate until I told my parents that something had to be done or I was going to take a weapon to school.

We moved a few weeks later and I lost my best friend, but it was the beginning of recovery from that.

 

[Sword of the Lord]

Why did you fight?

 

[LoAmmi]

Why did you fight?

I was attacked. I don't like fighting. Well, physically anyway. A good verbal debate is always fun.

I got on the wrong side of the wrong people when I was in elementary school and those people went on to be essentially gang leaders who spent the rest of my school days trying to hurt me. Teachers and administrators wouldn't do anything so I had no choice but to defend myself. I'm a bit of a dirty fighter, to be honest. I find there to be no honor in losing a fight the correct way. I would rather win the fight.

 

[Antigone]

Teachers and administrators wouldn't do anything so I had no choice but to defend myself.

I read/hear this a lot. Not to dispute your experience, but this always surprises me. None of the schools I went to or have worked at would tolerate fighting and bullying and they may not always be able to stop it, but they certainly won't stand by idly. Was your school aware of what was happening?

 

[LoAmmi]

I read/hear this a lot. Not to dispute your experience, but this always surprises me. None of the schools I went to or have worked at would tolerate fighting and bullying and they may not always be able to stop it, but they certainly won't stand by idly. Was your school aware of what was happening?

Very aware. They choose to blame me for the problems am openly stated that even though I was attacked by multiple people at the same time, I probably did something to provoke them. Also, some of their parents were afluent in the community while my parents were poor. It was easier of them to write me off as a problem then help me. I was very close to concluding the only way I would be left alone was to bury a blade in one of them. I was lucky that my parents were able to move before that happened.

 

[Sword of the Lord]

I was bullied all through school, but I was such a tiny kind and didn't have a will to fight. I was just awkward and didn't make friends. Like you, a clique - a group, gang, the "cool" kids, whatever - targeted me with physical and verbal violence. I never understood why, but now as an adult I know that I was just different, an Aspie. Kids, even teens, didn't understand; I wasnt mentally or physically challenged in ways a kid or teen would assume, and I was a good looking kid (got an ugly mug now though ). I was just an alien and a small and easy target. Finally in high school I didn't get physical back, but one day I had had enough and screamed "I'm going to bring my dad's gun to school and *f word* shoot you!" to my most vicious bullies. I got suspended. Then not long after one of my bullies was being nice to me, and as an Aspie we are super gullible and easily taken advantage of, and the kid asked me to hang on to his meds for him. It was white pills, dunno what. He crushed them up and I gladly agreed to put them in my shoe for my new friend. Next period the school police officer was searching me. It was a trick. My grades were bad, my stepfather and I didn't get along (didn't know he was my stepdad at the time), and my mom eventually just shipped me to military school. I completely get it.

 

[Gwendolyn]

But other than that, as a child I tended for form better bonds with fictional characters than real people.

This is still my problem. I have a very, very difficult time feeling connected to anyone except my mother. I keep only superficial friends because I have no idea how to maintain deep relationships. So I have people to eat food with, but not to wander into the wilderness and ponder the meaning of life.

When it comes to books, I become so invested in the story that it feels like the characters are my friends. Like we went on adventures together. Like we've seen some stuff. Then it feels just so comforting thinking that if they were real, they would understand me. They would get all my quirks and they wouldn't be afraid of my darker side.

I'd like to have a best friend. It seems wonderful.

 

[LoAmmi]

Do you ever get worried that you forgot to do something that you dwell on it? I seem to have a fear that I either lefty door unlocked or my cat got out when I left the house and I didn't notice.