Question: About pleasing others, or pleasing God.

[mlepfitjw]

Hello, you and welcome.

Here is a question that am curious about because for me it has been known in my life to not be able to have deep meaningful relationships with others for my life revolves a lot around mainly work and the people there, rather than outside of the work place.

Do you believe it is healthy to go around pleasing people for the sake and in search of recognition and praise of the person liking you, and to love you?

Or do you believe it is actually more healthier to be kind, gentle, and humble to those around you while at the work place, and living by the spirit of God being wholesome, do not get into gossip talk about others, do not engage when people talk bad about others (hold your peace), just generally be thankful to see them for what other condition would you rather see them other than upright, walking, talking, and still breathing.

Encourage those going through a rough time if they express those things unto you, and also express concern for their mental well being if they would like to hear some scripture from Jesus Christ, or just simply need prayer in help of relief of the grief, pain, suffering of loss.

Even encourage for the sake of encouragement of hey you can do this, hey you can get through this.

Are there any bible verses to help with these thoughts that are being had and expressed here?

 

[NomNomPizza]

If unbelievers like you then you're doing something wrong
moreover if you go please others it's just to elevate yourself most of the time and not really others . Example: Rich guy donates 10k USD to homeless shelter and makes a youtube video about it , like 500k people watch it and he gets praised.

But woman for whole life donates to homeless shelter bit by bit and nobody cares about her nor she care about praise from others.
It's more of do you do the right thing for the sake of doing right thing or do you do it for praise and recognisation?
If you do this for recognisation and to get praise from others , God said that this is your reward and nothing else, while the 2nd scenario the woman is laying treasures in heaven.

 

[Dan1988]

Hello, you and welcome.

Here is a question that am curious about because for me it has been known in my life to not be able to have deep meaningful relationships with others for my life revolves a lot around mainly work and the people there, rather than outside of the work place.

Do you believe it is healthy to go around pleasing people for the sake and in search of recognition and praise of the person liking you, and to love you?

Or do you believe it is actually more healthier to be kind, gentle, and humble to those around you while at the work place, and living by the spirit of God being wholesome, do not get into gossip talk about others, do not engage when people talk bad about others (hold your peace), just generally be thankful to see them for what other condition would you rather see them other than upright, walking, talking, and still breathing.

Encourage those going through a rough time if they express those things unto you, and also express concern for their mental well being if they would like to hear some scripture from Jesus Christ, or just simply need prayer in help of relief of the grief, pain, suffering of loss.

Even encourage for the sake of encouragement of hey you can do this, hey you can get through this.

Are there any bible verses to help with these thoughts that are being had and expressed here?

I think Thessalonians 5:11-18 would be encouraging for you in that situation.

It may also be helpful to remember that God is watching everything you do. So if it feels like nobody really appreciates your efforts to be kind, just remember that God is always with you so we need to live in that knowledge.

Most believers would never commit some of the grievous sins, if they truly believed that God is watching them. We tend to live as if we were autonomous and anonymous, but that's not the case. God will punish and reward everyone for everything they did, said and thought.

Your effort to remain faithful to God and your employer and your work colleagues, will not go unnoticed. Your motives will become obvious in time, so if you really care about everyone you will tell them what they need to hear and not what they want to hear.

You won't always receive praise immediately for doing the right thing, but everything we do and say does have consequences and it does effect people.

 

[Sophrosyne]

People pleasers typically over time wear out their welcome as most people find them as fakes. It is better to be yourself and help folks in need and not be concerned about recognition and being liked because when you try and please others typically you aren't being the normal you and when you tire of pleasing others they may like the pleaser but not the real you. People pleasers can also be seen as desperate and needy and end up abused by manipulators. Best to please God and people that are godly will take notice while others who are disinterested in god won't give you the time of day.

 

[Anthony2019]

Do you believe it is healthy to go around pleasing people for the sake and in search of recognition and praise of the person liking you, and to love you?

If I am being honest, I think we are all like that sometimes. It is part of our human nature. We all have an innate need for a sense of security - of being wanted and included, of being needed and valued.
I used to be a perpetual people pleaser. It took me some time to realise that the world is full of treachery and there are people who will selfishly manipulate and exploit the kindness of others.
Today I have learned that "turning the other cheek" means showing goodwill, meekness, kindness and generosity to all people, and treating them as we would wish to be treated. It does not mean exhorting other's unacceptable behaviour, or caving into their unreasonable and selfish demands.

 

[bèlla]

Do you believe it is healthy to go around pleasing people for the sake and in search of recognition and praise of the person liking you, and to love you?

No. You’ll compromise yourself in the long run. We show others how we want to be treated by our boundaries and behavior. If you compromise your well-being for the sake of praise and acceptance; you’re communicating insecurity and low self-esteem. You will inevitably be exploited and they won’t respect you.

Healthy friendships require mutual investment. Their concern for our betterment is genuine. We don’t have to please them to gain their love. They don’t barter their heart or require us to live on their terms.

True friends love you whether they agree with you or not. Because they see your potential and the real you. They’re not controlling or possessive. They don’t take advantage of us or expect things to go their way.

Real friends want your happiness and growth. They want you to soar and become everything God intended. They won’t impede your growth. They’ll aid it. Not for recognition or something in return. Or to hold it over your head.

They do it because they love you and that’s enough. You don’t owe them.

Examples of Godly Friendship

My friends and family are united in faith. We’re all believers. When I approach them with a request or spiritual burden for someone they take action. I’ve done so in two occasions. Both people wronged me. They were aware of the circumstances.

Nevertheless, the greater good won out. Not the flesh. They stood in prayer with me on their behalf. In spite of the wrong. Their personal thoughts and feelings were secondary to God’s. And they forgave them.

When you can pray for the person who hurt your daughter, sister, and best friend unselfishly, you’re a friend worth having. Some Christians told me to write them off. But I didn’t listen to them. And my heart is clear today.

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.

On Friendship

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.

Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.

And Jonathan made David swear again by his love for him, for he loved him as he loved his own soul.

On Wisdom

A little leaven leavens the whole lump.

Like a muddied spring or a polluted fountain is a righteous man who gives way before the wicked.

But test everything; hold fast what is good.

There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.

Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”

Yours in His Service,

~bella

 

[Dave L]

People like people the way they like ice cream. Don't sell out. Keep your job on a professional level.

 

[CMDRExorcist]

Do you believe it is healthy to go around pleasing people for the sake and in search of recognition and praise of the person liking you, and to love you?

I spent 12 years working in the Mental Health field and this (it comes in many forms) was one of the most frequent reasons that we saw many of our patients. So many people are obsessed with working to win the approval of others that they completely sacrifice themselves and often burn out. I've found that being humble and genuine is much harder at times, especially in a world that places so much value on self promotion. However, it's much healthier in the long run and can help to build stronger and more lasting relationships.

 

[CMDRExorcist]

If unbelievers like you then you're doing something wrong
moreover if you go please others it's just to elevate yourself most of the time and not really others .

I can't disagree enough with this statement. It's of no benefit for us to cultivate a world where unbelievers despise us. We should be living in such a way that evokes curiosity and a sense of openness and honesty with everyone. I have many unbelieving friends who know I'm a Christian. Some have voiced their opposition to that, but I've done my best to live in a way that encourages them to seek out more information about God. Being kind and loving to all people creates doorways for us to evangelize, but expecting unbelievers to never like us is antithetical to Christ's instructions in Luke 6:27-36.

 

[Ceallaigh]

Remember that Jesus was liked by the sinners He spent time with. Strive to be liked for the same reasons.

 

[aiki]

Do you believe it is healthy to go around pleasing people for the sake and in search of recognition and praise of the person liking you, and to love you?

John 12:42-43
42 Nevertheless among the chief rulers also many believed on him; but because of the Pharisees they did not confess him, lest they should be put out of the synagogue:
43 For they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God.

Romans 2:29
29 But he is a Jew who is one inwardly; and circumcision is that which is of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the letter; and his praise is not from men, but from God.

1 Corinthians 10:31
31 Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

2 Corinthians 6:14-18
14 ...what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?
15 Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever?
16 Or what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; just as God said, "I WILL DWELL IN THEM AND WALK AMONG THEM; AND I WILL BE THEIR GOD, AND THEY SHALL BE MY PEOPLE.
17 "Therefore, COME OUT FROM THEIR MIDST AND BE SEPARATE," says the Lord. "AND DO NOT TOUCH WHAT IS UNCLEAN; And I will welcome you.
18 "And I will be a father to you, And you shall be sons and daughters to Me," Says the Lord Almighty.

Or do you believe it is actually more healthier to be kind, gentle, and humble to those around you while at the work place, and living by the spirit of God being wholesome, do not get into gossip talk about others, do not engage when people talk bad about others (hold your peace), just generally be thankful to see them for what other condition would you rather see them other than upright, walking, talking, and still breathing.

Is the important thing to be healthier? Or is God's priority for us that we be holy and Christlike for His glory?

Encourage those going through a rough time if they express those things unto you, and also express concern for their mental well being if they would like to hear some scripture from Jesus Christ, or just simply need prayer in help of relief of the grief, pain, suffering of loss.

Even encourage for the sake of encouragement of hey you can do this, hey you can get through this.

The divine help God can give to us is never given apart from Himself. He is the peace, joy, comfort and love that He extends to us. So, to pray for a person who doesn't know God as their Heavenly Father, who has not trusted in Christ and Saviour and Lord, that they might receive from God His love, joy, peace and comfort is to pray for what is impossible - until they become one of God's children.

Isaiah 59:1-2
1 Behold, the LORD'S hand is not so short That it cannot save; Nor is His ear so dull That it cannot hear.
2 But your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, And your sins have hidden His face from you so that He does not hear.

Psalm 66:18
18 If I regard wickedness in my heart, The Lord will not hear;

John 3:36
36 "He who believes in the Son has eternal life; but he who does not obey the Son will not see life, but the wrath of God abides on him."

It is certainly...nice to do as you describe above, but if these people you're praying for are on their way to hell, a prayer of comfort as they are, is pretty awful, actually. What they need from you isn't a pat on the back and a useless prayer as they journey toward hell but the saving Gospel, plain and clear. This is the truly loving thing to do for any lost person.

But the Gospel condemns before it heals and many would rather go to hell than acknowledge their wickedness and weakness and trust in Christ as their Saviour and Lord (John 3:19-20). And they will resent you for telling them of their sin and the eternal jeopardy under which they stand as a result of it. This is why Christians who are truly loving the lost find themselves hated by the lost - just as Christ was.

John 15:18-23
18 "If the world hates you, you know that it has hated Me before it hated you.
19 "If you were of the world, the world would love its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, because of this the world hates you.
20 "Remember the word that I said to you, 'A slave is not greater than his master.' If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you; if they kept My word, they will keep yours also.
21 "But all these things they will do to you for My name's sake, because they do not know the One who sent Me.
22 "If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not have sin, but now they have no excuse for their sin.
23 "He who hates Me hates My Father also.

 

[mlepfitjw]

Thank you for all of your replies today,

Take care and God bless hope you have all had a wonderful day today.

It is amazing we have a good God and The Lord Jesus Christ to depend on.