"What if the Book of Mormon had been written by Dr. Seuss?"
Author: Unknown
Nephi: Of goodly parents I was born; I've never drunk, I've never sworn;
This is Lehi, he's my dad; Laman, Lemuel, they are bad; And who is this?
Why this is Sam; Yes, this is Sam;
Sam: Sam I am
Laman: That Sam I am, that Sam I am; I do not like that Sam I am
Sam: In a tent, my father dwelt
Laman: And it's so hot, I think I'll melt
Lemuel: Our father's brain is out of whack
Laman: Yeah, it's too hot, I'm going back
Lehi: Then go and get the plates my dear
Laman: On second thought, I'm staying here
Nephi: You said you'd leave and go away; Now all you want to do is stay?
Lemuel: That Nephi always gets his way
Laman: Here we are in this damp cave
Sam: We would not be here if you'd behave
Nephi: I will go and I will do; There's the angel, that's my cue
Laban's had too much to drink; Now he'll lose his head, I think
Nephi: Look what I found, a brother from the quorum
Sam: We will take him home, we will call him Zoram
Lemuel: Oh great, another pathetic life form
Laman: Our gold and silver we have spent; I do not like it in this tent
Lemuel: I cannot read the Liahona; I must have drunk too much Corona
Laman: We hate it here, we have no lives
Lehi: Then go back to the city and get some wives
Lehi: A tree, a tree, I see a tree; The fruit is white, the fruit is free;
A floating building, could it be? Why do they laugh and stare at me?
Laman, Lemuel, come and see
Laman: We will not eat your precious fruit
Lemuel: We will not wear a tie and suit
Laman: We will not help you build your boat
Lemuel: We do not think that it will float
Laman: No not this boat, it will not float; Not even in a shallow moat; I do not care what Nephi wrote
Lemuel: We will not eat your fruit I say
Laman: We will not eat it on a tray
Lemuel: And we won't eat it in a tent; Not even if your clothes you rent
Laman: We'd rather have a can of spam
L & L: We will not eat it, Sam I am
Sam: You do not like it, so you say; Try it, try it, and you may
Try it and you may I say
Laman: Sam, if you will let us be, We will try it, you will see
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