On Praying for Your Future Spouse

[JAM2b]

I just read this. I could have written a lot of it myself. This is from the perspective of a single woman wanting a husband, but this totally applies to both men and women who are wanting a spouse!

When we focus on what we don't have and being who and what we want to become and who and what we want our future spouse to be, we are discontent and not working within our present, and not loving others who are in our lives enough.

https://beggarsdaughter.com/dont-pray-future-husband/

 

[blackribbon]

This is a good read. I think it is important for a single woman to not pray to be a Godly wife...since, like the blogger said, a single woman is NOT a wife. When my husband died, I stopped being a wife. When I dated men, it was easy to fall in the role of "wife" (not sexually) to a man that I was not supposed to submit to. The harder lesson was learning to be the woman and mother that God called me to be ... which meant, learning to be the head of my household and all the responsibility that went with that. I still have areas that i struggle with because I don't want to be the person in charge of those areas. Obviously, God disagrees with my tantrums.

God called me to be a wife for a season. Now, I am the head of my household, mother, provider, protector, and role model for the children God gave me. I am not to submit to anyone other than God. God prepared me for this role by sending me to college even when my only desire was to be a mother and wife. Even though I want to be a wife again, I know that God is in control and submitting to Him alone at this season of my life is important to prepare me to continue to be the woman that He wants me to be. That may include never being a wife again.

 

[JAM2b]

The harder lesson was learning to be the woman and mother that God called me to be ... which meant, learning to be the head of my household and all the responsibility that went with that. I still have areas that i struggle with because I don't want to be the person in charge of those areas. Obviously, God disagrees with my tantrums.

I feel exactly the same way! I am not a natural leader, and I don't want to be. Every bit of the leadership role I have taken on is because I have to, even if it means I do it kicking and screaming. I just want to be loved and be able to focus on caring for my family and spending time with them. I don't want to be the only one who pays the bills, keeps the vehicle running, choose a bank, be the only disciplinarian, look up how to replace a part of the toilet -and then do it, be alone in the middle of fights between my kid and the school with no one speaking up with me, sitting in a hospital by myself when my kids are sick or have surgery and wondering where the money is going to come from because I'm there instead of at work and I'm the only one in the house with an income... the list could continue forever. I feel deep within my soul that I was not meant to be the head of the household, yet here I am, and apparently, God disagrees for this season of my life. This was not my plan.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

THE W approves..

there isn't anybody out there waiting for anybody and writing letters to your future spouse is a little weird.

 

[name_is_irrelevant]

THE W approves..

there isn't anybody out there waiting for anybody and writing letters to your future spouse is a little weird.

Unless you're Meghan Trainor, in which case you sing about it on the radio for much $'s.

 

[Swords&Sunflowers]

lol i actually write letters to my future spouse but in a very general tone though and prayerful

 

[blackribbon]

lol i actually write letters to my future spouse but in a very general tone though and prayerful

Maybe I lack imagination to do this. There is no way I could have imagined the man God would have provided as my husband or the turns life would take us through. I certainly would have been writing letters to the wrong man if I had tried writing to some husband in the future. What I actually did is read every Christian focused book on how to have a good marriage so I'd have a basic game plan to help me recognize when to say "yes".

 

[Swords&Sunflowers]

Maybe I lack imagination to do this. There is no way I could have imagined the man God would have provided as my husband or the turns life would take us through. I certainly would have been writing letters to the wrong man if I had tried writing to some husband in the future. What I actually did is read every Christian focused book on how to have a good marriage so I'd have a basic game plan to help me recognize when to say "yes".

yeah, i have considered that thought too that what if God gives me someone i did not expect lol, but im alright with it, i guess as long as one doesn't make finding "the one" an obsession or an idol, all is good. The beauty of it all is He allows us to chose. And it is our responsibility to chose wisely lol. We do our part, and He does His.

 

[Swords&Sunflowers]

lol i had hilarious entries such as one that went like this: "the pages of this journal is about to come to an end and yet we have not met yet...darling, do you even exist?"

or

"I miss you so much....although I don't know what that means because we technically didn't meet yet..."

or

"can't wait to give you a big hug until you cannot breathe...lol just kidding..."

or
"what kind of girl are you looking for? Will I make it to your checklist? Mines, I think describes Jesus very well...yes, you need to be Jesus. Lol joke! Maybe I'll be forever alone."

 

[Miles]

Not that I necessarily disagree with the article, but I see praying for one's future spouse as a way for a single person to proactively express those emotions in a harmless way. In my opinion, whether it actually aligns with the person we end up with (if we end up with anyone at all) is beside the point. We're made not just to be loved, but *to* love. Something so heartfelt is better prayed about than, for instance, projected onto somebody you just met.

 

[Swan7]

I can agree to the article to a point. I think what the article was getting at was more about the off focus on God and more on a spouse. God should always be first, no matter what.

 

[Mark_CB]

lol i actually write letters to my future spouse but in a very general tone though and prayerful

Wow, that's very hopeless romantic of you.

 

[.Mikha'el.]

This is a practice I've never understood because it assumes that there is such a person. Many people never marry or find that special someone.

 

[JAM2b]

I think that sometimes people can become so fixated on their idea of who they want their spouse to be that they can't be open to anyone who does not appear to meet the specifications that they outline, either literally or figuratively.

How many times do we read posts by people who only want a certain type of person, or the person has to have specific behaviors or guidelines they live their lives by or qualities? There are certain things that should not be compromised on, but there's not that many and the more specifics or ideations that a person has, the more they are limiting their pool to fish from and they create a situation where they are unfairly judging potential partners without even really knowing them.

 

[Mark_CB]

I think that sometimes people can become so fixated on their idea of who they want their spouse to be that they can't be open to anyone who does not appear to meet the specifications that they outline, either literally or figuratively.

How many times do we read posts by people who only want a certain type of person, or the person has to have specific behaviors or guidelines they live their lives by or qualities? There are certain things that should not be compromised on, but there's not that many and the more specifics or ideations that a person has, the more they are limiting their pool to fish from and they create a situation where they are unfairly judging potential partners without even really knowing them.

Exactly! I met this girl the other week, initially I wasn't really attracted to her. Then I talk to her, she's interesting, engaging, seems honest, kind, warm, and even laughs at my jokes and blushes too lol! So I ended up liking her quite a bit, someone if I saw in a crowd she's just another person.

 

[ReesePiece23]

God isn't a mug; he can't be blackmailed and I'm quite convinced He only responds to prayers that are in the interest of the greater good - at least, I hope so. I wouldn't want to be caught worshipping a glorified sugar daddy (I know I'm not, so it's all good.)

Praying for some sort of Disney-Pixaresque being to land on your doorstep like a FedEx parcel isn't really contributing to the bigger picture that is planet earth. I fail to see how a customised spouse, engineered to specification like a real doll would benefit anybody... Besides, oh yeah, YOU.

In fact, what you're asking for is essentially just that.

 

[Swords&Sunflowers]

Wow, that's very hopeless romantic of you.

lol you mean to say..."hopeful romantic"