The gift of singleness

[HoneyBee]

I'm 26 years old and I have never once been in a romantic relationship with someone. A lot of people would maybe feel ashamed to admit that, but today I am choosing to look upon this fact with thankfulness. I have had crushes on people throughout my life, but nothing ever came of these crushes. Either the feelings were unreciprocated or there were roadblocks to me ever dating anyone. Thus, I have never been in a romantic relationship.

I used to feel bad about this and think that something was wrong with me. I prayed to God for a spouse every day, but I think that my singleness is but a blessing in disguise. You see, if I had gotten into a relationship with someone anywhere prior to this point in my life, I believe that I would have gotten mixed up in a lot of negative experiences, especially because I always had crushes on toxic individuals. Not only that, but having the peace and quiet of being single helped me to have enough stability to focus on God.

Maybe someday I will find someone who I will marry, but until then I'm not going to make myself feel bad for not wanting to be in a romantic relationship. There's nothing wrong or lesser about having platonic friendships instead, and besides, those are the kinds of connections that will really enrich our lives if we choose our friends wisely.

 

[SarahsKnight]

I'm 26 years old and I have never once been in a romantic relationship with someone. A lot of people would maybe feel ashamed to admit that, but today I am choosing to look upon this fact with thankfulness. I have had crushes on people throughout my life, but nothing ever came of these crushes. Either the feelings were unreciprocated or there were roadblocks to me ever dating anyone. Thus, I have never been in a romantic relationship.

I used to feel bad about this and think that something was wrong with me. I prayed to God for a spouse every day, but I think that my singleness is but a blessing in disguise. You see, if I had gotten into a relationship with someone anywhere prior to this point in my life, I believe that I would have gotten mixed up in a lot of negative experiences, especially because I always had crushes on toxic individuals. Not only that, but having the peace and quiet of being single helped me to have enough stability to focus on God.

Maybe someday I will find someone who I will marry, but until then I'm not going to make myself feel bad for not wanting to be in a romantic relationship. There's nothing wrong or lesser about having platonic friendships instead, and besides, those are the kinds of connections that will really enrich our lives if we choose our friends wisely.

I think this a very good attitude to have, Miss Honeybee.

 

[ReesePiece23]

There's actually more TO this than you might realise.

Without all of the drama, chaos, pain, bitterness and turmoil, (yes, even the best relationships have all of this, it's THE PRICE you pay for love) you have all of the manoeuvring space in the world to skyrocket your character out of the stratosphere.

Love shouldn't be purposely avoided. But without ever having gone through the misery of a breakup or the agony of toxic arguments, your vision of the human race is ONLY influenced by you; and not your experiences with previous partners. Which in many ways will make you more attractive to everyone - friends and lovers alike, as the 'vibe' they get from you will always be positive.

 

[peaceful-forest]

That's an awesome attitude to have. Good for you!

 

[Sif]

You view/attitude is similar to mine, HoneyBee.

I am sometimes reminded of this quote from Walden by Henry David Thoreau:

"I find it wholesome to be alone the greater part of the time. To be in company, even with the best, is soon wearisome and dissipating. I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude."

 

[.Mikha'el.]

I don't look at it as either a gift or a curse. Some people have someone, others do not, and there are positives and negatives to each.

 

[bèlla]

I love your perspective. It's very wise. I've had similar experiences. Many years ago a promisig connection ended abruptly and I discussed it with another on the prayer team. We weren't acquainted and I hadn't my made way back to the fold completely. But I wanted I wanted answers.

She was an older woman. In her late seventies at least. And she said in the quietest voice with the greatest certainty, "Oh baby, the Lord put that away." I nearly came out my seat. We were contemplating marriage. But her words hit me and I knew she was right. I felt it within. The door was closed.

It wasn't the lone time. It happened again two years later. The shift was so dramatic it drove me to Him. If I'd taken that path I would have been immensely lost. Far more than my confusion. I didn't realize what I was stepping into but He did.

It took awhile for me to reconcile why He kept 'getting in my business'. Why was I denied? I didn't know who I was in Him or why I'm here. I needed to understand that first. It's the linchpin in the rest. He'll be my greatest asset or biggest mistake.

As He began to instruct me He was chipping away the old. It affected my mating and I needed to see companionship from His perspective. I didn't always like the lessons and sometimes I resisted. It was my sacred cow and He touched it. I had moments of acceptance, frustration, sorrow and so on. What I wanted wasn't allowed. I finally stopped fighting and began making peace with my condition.

There were times when I rejected marriage and told Him I wouldn't have anyone. He bore my grievances lovingly. He knew I couldn't see what He did. In other areas there wasn't a struggle. Letting go was easy. Before I was reconciled to Him my identity was deeply entrenched in otherness. My esteem for the opposite sex--namely my companion--was great. I possessed a loveliness I've yet to recapture. All I wanted was permanence and a life of service. Pleasing him was more than enough.

Everyone around me was the same and I delighted in my bubble. I was ardently devoted to betterment. Beauty became my mantra. I worked joyfully to be the best I could for him. The one I'd settle with. I wanted to be his pearl of great price. I saw myself as an extension of something greater. Ego had no place.

When He removed me from that space it's akin to throwing a cat in a tub full of water. I was screaming and wondering what have You done to me? It was a lonely time. I had no one like myself to turn to. I met people from on occasion but it wasn't the same. I was asleep and they couldn't awaken me. Just like the fairytale.

One day I told Him, "I have enough pretty pictures." It's a line from Meet Joe Black about a woman resigned to her fate. He told me I was called to marriage but the desire was fading. But He revived it slowly.

We can't anticipate what follows once we agree to be His. Our well laid plans may be cast aside and another put in its place. Our willingness to accept it makes all the difference. The struggle is painful but there's peace beyond it. I pray you emerge from this period strengthened and lovelier than you were at its onset.

God Bless.

~bella

 

[Lost Witness]

Everything happens for a reason,
Trust the LORD and the process.
He KNOWS Best.


May The LORD Bless You and Keep You


Shalom Aleichem

 

[Joined2krist]

When you decide to be alone and get very comfortable with the idea, you will become much more attractive to men. Don't know why this happens but it does. Get ready for unwanted attention. God bless

 

[High Fidelity]

Everything happens for a reason,
Trust the LORD and the process.
He KNOWS Best.


May The LORD Bless You and Keep You


Shalom Aleichem

Curious why you use a Jewish greeting to sign off your message. It’s a little confusing.

Are you Jewish?