Not wanting to live among rich people

[ChristopherinLA]

I just came back home from a vacation in Florida today and was walking around my LA neighborhood and see nothing but affluence from my neighbors. (similar to the places I visited in Florida) The past 8 years so I've witnessed more middle-class folks being priced out of Los Angeles so most of who remain in my church today are pretty well off. You either live in a rich area or a poor area with little middle ground. Today it really started to disgust me how so many folks strive to live so comfortably and with so many material things and how the lives, ambitions and pursuits of people in my church look so similar to the world around me. I've discussed this struggle of mine with other brothers before and we've prayed and asked God to help me not be so see it this way, but I was just not brought up to seek so much material comfort as a Christian and to see that this is what I need to do in order to survive in LA or so many parts of the country disgusts me and to see it in my church is hard to shake off. I'm not poor but I don't want to pursue money just to continue living in a decent area to serve my church and live in a good school district for my kids. Today I was reminded of Matthew 18:8 "If your hand or your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away." My wife and I are doing okay financially and can afford to rent here another year or 2, but living among so much affluence is really starting to weigh down on me (spiritually?) and I really want to start to discern with my wife if God has us in this strange financial limbo where we can't afford to live here long term with a growing family and home and rental prices being what they are because maybe he wants us somewhere that is more affordable because he's put it on our hearts to be around the less affluent. Any thoughts are appreciated.

 

[SavedByGrace3]

We lived on Fripp Island on the coast of SC for a year or two. This is a gated community on a gated island. Lots of millionaires and vacation homes of the rich and famous. I will never live among these sort of people again. No way. Nope.

 

[timewerx]

Today it really started to disgust me how so many folks strive to live so comfortably and with so many material things and how the lives, ambitions and pursuits of people in my church look so similar to the world around me.

It's a problem among Christians that never gets solved because everyone will tell you, mind your own business, stop judging, and don't be like Judas.

Yet, Jesus did tested a rich guy in the Bible. Jesus called some people "robbers", "thieves" even though they are doing business legally. so Jesus was clearly NOT minding His own business and if we truly believe in Jesus we'll do the things He did, including pointing out the excesses and mistakes of other people.

But many Christians don't know the Bible. Okay, some have read the Bible through and through but only the stuff they want to hear gets remembered, the rest is forgotten.

They judge according to the standards of this world just like the Pharisees, the hypocrites.

Jesus said "deny yourself". Don't get an expensive mortgate so you'll still have something left for the least of our brethren. But the story goes, we have nothing to give charity, we have nothing to help our needy brothers because all our money is tied up to a very comfortable 5 bedroom mortgage in a gated community, and three expensive cars.

It arises to an interesting question. If a Christian dies a hypocrite, will they end up in heaven?

 

[Hazelelponi]

I just came back home from a vacation in Florida today and was walking around my LA neighborhood and see nothing but affluence from my neighbors. (similar to the places I visited in Florida) The past 8 years so I've witnessed more middle-class folks being priced out of Los Angeles so most of who remain in my church today are pretty well off. You either live in a rich area or a poor area with little middle ground. Today it really started to disgust me how so many folks strive to live so comfortably and with so many material things and how the lives, ambitions and pursuits of people in my church look so similar to the world around me. I've discussed this struggle of mine with other brothers before and we've prayed and asked God to help me not be so see it this way, but I was just not brought up to seek so much material comfort as a Christian and to see that this is what I need to do in order to survive in LA or so many parts of the country disgusts me and to see it in my church is hard to shake off. I'm not poor but I don't want to pursue money just to continue living in a decent area to serve my church and live in a good school district for my kids. Today I was reminded of Matthew 18:8 "If your hand or your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away." My wife and I are doing okay financially and can afford to rent here another year or 2, but living among so much affluence is really starting to weigh down on me (spiritually?) and I really want to start to discern with my wife if God has us in this strange financial limbo where we can't afford to live here long term with a growing family and home and rental prices being what they are because maybe he wants us somewhere that is more affordable because he's put it on our hearts to be around the less affluent. Any thoughts are appreciated.

I suppose I don't truly understand your disgust, however, your concerns as a married man are greater than being "disgusted by affluence".

Living in an area with good schools and reasonable safety is paramount. As a husband it is your job along with your wife to provide this. You also have to live within a reasonable distance to your place of employment (a necessity to provide food and shelter) and have reasonable access to doctors and grocery stores.

What I never liked about upper middle class areas of the greater Kansas City area was often the attitudes of people, they were never my idea of "down to earth".

The born very rich, or the self made very wealthy and the normal middle class are a different animal - personally wise - than those who are trying to pass as really wealthy when they aren't (the 300 to 500 thousand a year income range range). They're just... Different I suppose.

Because I didn't want my kids growing up around those attitudes I moved to the country and commuted to the city for work. That left my kids in small, but excellent schools, and left them growing up around those I consider more down to earth - just more like real people than people putting up a facade.

That worked beautifully for me back then. But I didn't live in LA.

Is there any normal in LA? I don't think so.

So what you have to consider is whether if you move, you will still be able to provide a safe neighborhood for your family and a good school district for your kids and an acceptable income for yourself and your wife if she works.

While getting to the business of being Christian is the ideal, we still have to live, and work, and provide what our families need so you have to find balance.

 

[Joined2krist]

What about safety concerns?

 

[ChristopherinLA]

@Joined2krist is a Christian supposed to be worried about safety when being directed by the Lord? What about the families who are witnessing in Iran, China, etc? Should they not “go” because of safety concerns? How is it different if they are living in the US?

 

[ChristopherinLA]

I suppose I don't truly understand your disgust, however, your concerns as a married man are greater than being "disgusted by affluence".

Living in an area with good schools and reasonable safety is paramount. As a husband it is your job along with your wife to provide this. You also have to live within a reasonable distance to your place of employment (a necessity to provide food and shelter) and have reasonable access to doctors and grocery stores.

What I never liked about upper middle class areas of the greater Kansas City area was often the attitudes of people, they were never my idea of "down to earth".

The born very rich, or the self made very wealthy and the normal middle class are a different animal - personally wise - than those who are trying to pass as really wealthy when they aren't (the 300 to 500 thousand a year income range range). They're just... Different I suppose.

Because I didn't want my kids growing up around those attitudes I moved to the country and commuted to the city for work. That left my kids in small, but excellent schools, and left them growing up around those I consider more down to earth - just more like real people than people putting up a facade.

That worked beautifully for me back then. But I didn't live in LA.

Is there any normal in LA? I don't think so.

So what you have to consider is whether if you move, you will still be able to provide a safe neighborhood for your family and a good school district for your kids and an acceptable income for yourself and your wife if she works.

While getting to the business of being Christian is the ideal, we still have to live, and work, and provide what our families need so you have to find balance.

I think my disgust has more to do with people’s unwillingness to put safety (I.e. personal comfort) and education aside. These things can be idols and I think affluent Christians walk a fine line when they pursue them above the great commission. There should be more families witnessing in poorer neighborhoods, homeschooling their kids, etc., but they are taking the same path to the American dream that the world is. I’m not saying it’s all sinful but it’s not exactly the best soil to grow fearless Christian roots either imo.

 

[Hazelelponi]

@ChristopherinLA "I think my disgust has more to do with people’s unwillingness to put safety (I.e. personal comfort) and education aside."

I'm sorry, but there's nothing wrong with providing an education and safety for your family. These things are quite biblical.

"Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." 1 Timothy 5:8

If you personally feel called to missionary work that's great, go forth in the manner of your calling, but not everyone is called to the same task. You can't judge others according to your own calling, some must by necessity stay behind to pay for the work.

"For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function," Romans 12:4

And dragging your babies into harms way is really something you should pray about before thinking it's cool, because what happens to them when they're young will affect them for the rest of their life.

Children and a wife are a major responsibility, be careful that your doing right by them.

 

[DragonFox91]

I’m not sure what your question is? If you feel guilty, donate or serve more. That’s always been the answer. If you're disgusted by your church, you should be an example for them.

I don’t blame you for not liking affluence. I enjoy modesty. But I don’t hate affluent people. & being dirt poor isn’t a good option either. Surprise surprise, there’s a middle ground. From what I hear, it’s not in Los Angeles anymore.

 

[Sketcher]

My wife and I are doing okay financially and can afford to rent here another year or 2, but living among so much affluence is really starting to weigh down on me (spiritually?) and I really want to start to discern with my wife if God has us in this strange financial limbo where we can't afford to live here long term with a growing family and home and rental prices being what they are because maybe he wants us somewhere that is more affordable because he's put it on our hearts to be around the less affluent. Any thoughts are appreciated.

Fortunately, you have options. You can move to places you can afford. They might not be in your area, or they might be terrible places in your area, but you do have the option to move there. The question is, what family-raising environment will your wife insist on? I know people who have never lived within their means because the wives insisted on X, Y, and Z for raising the children. And these are not rich people, these are working class people with mountains of debt.

@Joined2krist is a Christian supposed to be worried about safety when being directed by the Lord? What about the families who are witnessing in Iran, China, etc? Should they not “go” because of safety concerns? How is it different if they are living in the US?

How safe you want your family to be is up to you, but their safety is your responsibility as a husband and father. And if something happens to one or more of them that could have been prevented by better planning on your part, you're the one who is going to have to deal with that, and you're the one who's going to have to look them in the eyes and tell them you do love them even though you didn't take the necessary steps to give them a safer environment where the harm was less likely to happen.

 

[Christson 24]

I just came back home from a vacation in Florida today and was walking around my LA neighborhood and see nothing but affluence from my neighbors. (similar to the places I visited in Florida) The past 8 years so I've witnessed more middle-class folks being priced out of Los Angeles so most of who remain in my church today are pretty well off. You either live in a rich area or a poor area with little middle ground. Today it really started to disgust me how so many folks strive to live so comfortably and with so many material things and how the lives, ambitions and pursuits of people in my church look so similar to the world around me. I've discussed this struggle of mine with other brothers before and we've prayed and asked God to help me not be so see it this way, but I was just not brought up to seek so much material comfort as a Christian and to see that this is what I need to do in order to survive in LA or so many parts of the country disgusts me and to see it in my church is hard to shake off. I'm not poor but I don't want to pursue money just to continue living in a decent area to serve my church and live in a good school district for my kids. Today I was reminded of Matthew 18:8 "If your hand or your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away." My wife and I are doing okay financially and can afford to rent here another year or 2, but living among so much affluence is really starting to weigh down on me (spiritually?) and I really want to start to discern with my wife if God has us in this strange financial limbo where we can't afford to live here long term with a growing family and home and rental prices being what they are because maybe he wants us somewhere that is more affordable because he's put it on our hearts to be around the less affluent. Any thoughts are appreciated.

God may have a reason why he brought you there.He want you to learn one thing or the other,living in that area might be safe and closer to your work,you need to consider the safety of your children and wife,also if you are called by God to be a minister always teach your member to do charity work that is one of the reasons God give people wealth,to help the need that is how you can get joy and treasures in heaven,well I am from Africa and a lot of poor people are in my church so if you want to help out ,I might be of help

 

[bèlla]

I've lived in affluent neighborhoods throughout my adult years but my experiences differ. I've had numerous opportunities for ministry and benefited from untold displays of kindness and grace without reciprocity. I see people first. Not numbers or status. That makes a huge difference in your interactions and their receptiveness. But they aren't the lone ones I engage with. Many people work in our area who live elsewhere and they weren't ignored. Recognizing their humanity developed connections and chances to share my faith and pray for them.

In my experience most people want to be seen and heard and I try to honor that. He's placed me here for a reason and each move brings new encounters and opportunities to be a light in these dark days. But that's my mission and I embrace it. This is where He planted me and blooming in that place is a must. That's my conviction.

It's important to understand your kingdom work and purpose for existence. No one's here by chance. May the Lord be a lamp to your feet and light to your path and provide the answers you've sought. God bless.

~bella