Need help forgiving some people

[DeerGlow]

Freshman year I was grabbed from behind and slammed into a metal door. It mangled my glasses (but did not break the lenses, just twisted the frames really badly), so I couldn't see who did it (although I suspect someone, I have no intention of confronting her). So I held a grudge against the girl I think did it and a few of the people whose voices I heard (only one person helped me, he bent down a little and pointed to where my glasses were since I couldn't see them). I know it's not their fault but I felt so negative that they just left me on the ground. And one more student who (and I think he meant it as a light joke and didn't understand that I was embarrassed and shamed) sort of offered to guide me to class.

Around junior year my brother's class had graduating but four of them met up at a mall and (long story short) I ended up separated. That's when I saw four or five people (one was slightly apart I don't know if he was involved) staring at me from the second level (there is a big open space in the center above the first level so the second can see almost everything in an area). I didn't want to be paranoid so I ducked behind a big YOU ARE HERE thing. I looked out and they were coming down the stairs, one of them had this smirk that just told me DANGER. So I fast-walked, too afraid to really run, and they spread out in like a formation. The lead one (only one I remember his appearance clearly) seemed to almost chase me from one end of the mall to another. Then I saw an exit, a side one, and I figured security would be there. I crossed under an escalator and ran to the wall. No one was there, but the leader disappeared behind the escalator and I don't know if he lost me or one of those stand salesman saw how scared I was and confronted him but he turned back and vanished.

I randomly remembered the second thing yesterday and I see some of the classmates from the first daily and I've thought how I still think really hatefully towards them so please pray that I will be able to forgive them, even if none of them ever apologise.

 

[Jim Langston]

The way I have learned to forgive people like this is to feel sorry for them. I try to think in my mind the mindset of someone who would enjoy such an activity and I feel how broken they are, how they'll never really understand love or compassion, how all they can understand is negativity.

I once read a story written by a missionary to Russia (maybe it was Germany). He described how the Russians would torture him for his ministry, have him stand in a box with spikes and if he moved the spikes would puncture his ankles. He explained that he did not hate them, these were the people he was trying to reach. That really blew my mind and taught me a bit about forgiveness.

A bully does not love their neighbor as themselves, and as that is the heart of Christianity, are destined to spend am eternity in hell. You can either take comfort in that or try to prevent it.

 

[Solomons Porch]

I agree with Jim and I will be praying for you. I would tell the Lord that you do not want this anger, fear, bitterness and resentment to have a hold of you any longer and renounce it.....telling the Lord that you forgive them and that even you are sorry that this feeling has had a hold on you.

I can understand your feelings, truly I can. But seeing them as weaker, which is exactly what they are, will help you understand your own strength. Forgiving another is really about not letting it have power over you, and its about releasing yourself from the bondage it creates. If you think about it, it takes way more strength to be who you are, than for those punks to be who they are.

When I have unforgiveness and anger etc within my heart it makes it very hard for me to hear Gods voice and its almost as if there is a huge wall between me and HIM. So for my own benefit and because its the Christlike attitude, I have to release, renounce and repent so that I can carry on. As Jesus said......Father forgive them for they know not what they do.

 

[Hiram208]

Remember that extending forgiveness is not for the benefit of those who have done you wrong. It's for your benefit. Jesus said, "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." Matthew 6:14-15 ESV.

The biggest reason you should forgive is your unforgiveness puts you in a position where you cannot ask your Father for forgiveness when you inevitably do wrong. Also, unforgiveness left unchecked for too long festers into anger and bitterness which will affect all areas of your life. If you don't believe me just look at some of the old folks that attend church. They may be saved but they are locked in their own prisons of bitterness and it shows in their face, conversations, demeanor, etc.