My questions

MightyMax

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This isn't a question only for married people. Anyone who is unmarried needs to be able to face these kinds of questions. Like I said, there are only the two questions I stated before that are of utmost importance. Everything else is secondary, and there is no guarantee that marriage is what God has for everyone. The only guarantee of following God is God Himself.

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Goodbook

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I do not think there is just one answer for that. Many christians believe in once-married-always-married. IOW, divorce does not exist. Remarriage can only happen after the death of the spouse.

I do not hold to that belief.


That will vary with each family situation. It involves the circumstance of the breakup, the personalities of everyone involved, and may even involve the legal system if there are serious problems.

Same answer as the step-parent question.

That happens a lot also. And can also be very messy.
I dont know how it can work unless the ex spouse has a restraining order or lives in a totally different country or city or the children go to boarding school or something. Often the ex spouse has married or gone off with someone else so maybe they know for sure the marriage has broken down.

I used to flat with a lady that had illegitimate children with a partner and found out the dad had a restraining order wasnt allowed to set foot on her property. She then found another bf had a baby and THEN got married, which is the way it happens in my country if you not christian.
 
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Goodbook

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This isn't a question only for married people. Anyone who is unmarried needs to be able to face these kinds of questions. Like I said, there are only the two questions I stated before that are of utmost importance. Everything else is secondary, and there is no guarantee that marriage is what God has for everyone. The only guarantee of following God is God Himself.

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Yes it is in this forum.
 
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Dave-W

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Often the ex spouse has married or gone off with someone else so maybe they know for sure the marriage has broken down.
OMAM teaches that the first marriage is binding as long as both are alive. IOW, if the guy turns rat, divorces his wife and runs off with some [expletive deleted], she is considered by God and the church to still be married to him until he dies. So she cannot remarry. (unless she murders him)
 
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Dave-W

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Sorry what is OMAM and IOW i have no idea what those abbreviations mean.
LOL!!! [laugh out loud] :)

"OMAM" is once married always married. It is a take off of OSAS - once saved always saved. In theory both should be true, but living in a fallen world sometimes messes that up.

"IOW" means in other words.
 
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Goodbook

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LOL!!! [laugh out loud] :)

"OMAM" is once married always married. It is a take off of OSAS - once saved always saved. In theory both should be true, but living in a fallen world sometimes messes that up.

"IOW" means in other words.
Oh never heard of it. Except with mormons.
 
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Goodbook

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I did not get married until I was 35.
Have a single friend (christian) who is 65 and she still wants to be married as never married before. That i know.
I was thinking well might be hard for her to have children. But i suppose nothing is impossible for God.

Not really sure what happened with her bf or fiance when she was younger. Who knows she may still be thinking about him. They broke up, dont know why. Maybe her heart still has this hope. But if so, hes taking a while!
 
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Goodbook

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OMAM teaches that the first marriage is binding as long as both are alive. IOW, if the guy turns rat, divorces his wife and runs off with some [expletive deleted], she is considered by God and the church to still be married to him until he dies. So she cannot remarry. (unless she murders him)
Uh...you mean the one who ran off with the husband?
 
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Dave-W

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Uh...you mean the one who ran off with the husband?
No - the abandoned wife.

She is given a choice of staying single forever (or until the husband dies) or committing a constant state of the sin of adultery if she re-marries.
 
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Goodbook

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Because she married a cheating man? Is this to punish her for making a stupid decision?

What about the man that marries a cheating wife. Same thing? Wait till the cheating wife dies? I dont think that happens. Thats why ppl divorce, so they can be free to marry other ppl.
 
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Goodbook

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Was reading this book written by a pastor whos first wife cheated on him so got dovorced and he married againthis time to a christian lady (who had also been previously married). Maybe it only applies to unequally yoked couples.

For christians that marry each other, and if one cheats youd think the offending party would repent and the other forgive.
 
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ValleyGal

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I used to flat with a lady that had illegitimate children with a partner and found out the dad had a restraining order wasnt allowed to set foot on her property.
There are no illegitimate children. All children are made in God's image, and he knits them together in the womb... he knew them and called them before they were even conceived. I think calling children illegitimate is calling God's creation illegitimate.

Well with marriage these days people dont seem to take it seriously. I dont know who marries all these incompatible couples that thought it was a good idea at the time.
Couples can be quite compatible at the time of the marriage and then things can change...they can grow apart, situations come up that make them change, or it turns out they are not as compatible as they had thought...there are a whole host of reasons people get married and later divorced. It isn't that they don't take it seriously. I don't know anyone at all who says their vows, thinking "what fun for now, but I think in a few years I'll switch it up and go for a skinny blonde rather than this pretty, plump brunette." or "this one will be a great mother to my offspring and once I'm done procreating I will trade her in for someone young and pretty." People make decisions to marry with the information they have at the time....people change and circumstances can change. It doesn't mean it was a bad idea to get married.

I was thinking well might be hard for her to have children. But i suppose nothing is impossible for God.
Marriage is not just about having children. In fact, when you get older, it is mostly about companionship.

Because she married a cheating man? Is this to punish her for making a stupid decision?
It does not mean she made a stupid decision. How should she have known? If she had known that he was going to cheat and married him anyway, that might be "stupid". But marrying someone is a sign you believe they will be faithful.

For christians that marry each other, and if one cheats youd think the offending party would repent and the other forgive.
Some people feel justified in having affair - for example if the other spouse was not fulfilling their marital sexual obligation. Doesn't make it right, but they may feel justified. And not everyone will own up to, or repent from, their sin against their spouse. And the one who needs to do the forgiving... well, forgiving egregious and possibly repeated sins becomes very hard, and maintaining a soft heart when you are repeatedly sinned against, is nearly impossible.
 
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All4Christ

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I used to flat with a lady that had illegitimate children with a partner and found out the dad had a restraining order wasnt allowed to set foot on her property. She then found another bf had a baby and THEN got married, which is the way it happens in my country if you not christian.

I agree with ValleyGirl. Children are a gift from God and are made in His image. By no means should they bear a mark upon them because their parents did not marry before having the child. It is not the child's fault. They are precious to God no matter the marital status of their parents.
 
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Goodbook

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Unfortunatley the curse of the bastard is real. Because parents who unwed and fornicate their sin does actually mark the children. Thats why in the bible to refrain from fornication you marry first.

Its not other people judging its the fact that the children are conceived in sin and lust, not love, and often are unwanted. If one parent is saved the the children can be made clean and holy and ideally both parents should be saved to raise godly children.

jesus loved all children thats why he will adopt those whos parents are unsaved because they have more problems than those from saved parents. When children sense they are unwanted and rejected often they will rebel.
 
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Goodbook

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Cain had a mark on him. I know so many ppl whos parents were never there for them and ended up drug abuse, problems etc theough lack of love, cos parents never really intended to have them in the first place. They were like oh, surprise. Parents may do their best to hide it, or compensate, but children know when they are not really wanted.

Its not the childs fault its the parents fault.
 
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Goodbook

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An illigetimate child cannot inherit and is never secure, will often be sent away, got rid of, or even hidden. If the parents dont marry their family name is even in question. Some children dont even have birthdays or their dads name on the birth certificate.
 
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