My questions

[Darkhorse]

It's easy to make this compatibility stuff more complicated than it really is.


There are a few easy but important things to look for:

Do the two of you agree on humor? Is your partner laughing their head off at some entertainer that you consider crude, or vulgar, or just not funny? That's a big red flag.

Is your partner easy to talk to (the conversation flows without much effort), or do you have to keep "feeding" it?
Do you find yourself repeatedly halting the conversation or changing the subject because you sense disagreement?

How consistent are they from day to day and week to week? How consistent are you?
How "in tune" are the two of you? Does today begin where yesterday left off, or is each day a new improvised creation?

The "obvious" matches don't matter that much (religious denomination, social class) but the hidden ones do (handling money, spiritual worldview).

Some people simply function as opposites of each other. Often that doesn't matter, but in a business relationship it's very difficult, and in a close personal relationship like marriage, it's disastrous.

These aren't the only criteria of course, but you get the idea.
Think of living 30, 40, 50, or 60 years with this person...
And DON'T expect them to change!

 

[writewords]

Wouldn't get married too young. Emotional, psychological maturity isn't reach until roughly w5 years ball park. Would avoid unless feel God is providing confirmation and you have spent hours in prayer regarding it, which can be said about marriage period. With that being said, many people are starting to wait to get married. There are some who wait till they reach 40, I was 32, she was 23. I know there are many older ppl who's poised have died who remarry for mostly if not solely for companionship. Age gaps can vary from culture to culture. In contemp [rary USA, too much of a gap can etc.be frowned upon and bring judgements, stereotypes (sugar daddy, etc.). Use Scripture as your guide. Again, prayer. Separate home from family. Yes. My wife and I didn't do blood test but may not be bad depending on histories. If money is issue, I would wait or save up. Financial strain causes strain elsewhere in your lives.

 

[PeachieKeen]

Blind post.

Is there an age where you are supposed to be married or thinking of marriage? Is there an upper age limit? - Not at all!! God brings us our partners at any age. I would say to tread with extra caution though when you're young.

Do age gaps matter or is it entirely based on how spiritually mature you are?
This is probably on a per person basis. For me it matters. I want someone i can relate to and being in the same stage of life is a factor. I am also not attracted to men far older or far younger.

How healthy physically do you have to be, like do both of you need to see a doctor before marriage?
Depends on the state. Some places require a blood test, others do not.

Whose parents consent do you have to have or is that only for young couples.
The firstborn child...do they have priveliges over the latter born?
I'm not really sure what you mean on this. Alex asked my parents out of respect, but he didn't NEED anyone's permission.

How do you go about finding a place to live, together, or is it the husbands main responisbilty?
We planned our wedding right before moving states so it worked easy. We chose our house together. Friends i know that married chose to move into one person's place for the time being and then found a home later.

What is the wifes main responisbilty?
This depends on what you decide together. Definitely have this conversation and come to an agreement!

How do your bank accounts work is it a joint account?
Same as previous answer.

What church do you go to, the wife or the husbands or do you try and find a new church? Anyone marry someone in their own church?
We were dating before marriage so we chose to attend the same Church each place we lived. We will continue to choose the same church

Parents in law. How often do you have to see them? Are you still responisble for them in their old age?
This is really a personal conversation too.I'm very close with my family so i want to see them every few months. Alex is happy seeing his once a year.

 

[dhh712]

I'll answer to questions as regards to my own marriage.

Is there an age where you are supposed to be married or thinking of marriage? Is there an upper age limit?

I got married at 36 and my husband at 60.

Do age gaps matter or is it entirely based on how spiritually mature you are?
There's 24 years between us. I had just converted 3 years prior to that and my husband had been a Christian for 40 years. I won't comment on spiritual maturity as that's often like seeing the speck in your neighbor's eye but not the plank in your own.

How healthy physically do you have to be, like do both of you need to see a doctor before marriage?

We didn't see a doctor. We're both pretty healthy. In fact, I'd wager that my husband's healthier than me for his age. He has a lot more stamina and a seemingly better constitution. I get worn out easily.

Whose parents consent do you have to have or is that only for young couples.

His parents had passed away. Mine are non-believers and were very against our marriage. Their reasons for their antagonism were materialistic.

The firstborn child...do they have priveliges over the latter born?

Don't know. We currently don't have children nor do we plan on any but of course that is ultimately up to the Lord.

How do you go about finding a place to live, together, or is it the husbands main responisbilty?

I bought our first house, it was a starter. I had to do it in a hurry because I was starting work in a different state and the rental prices were astronomical where we would eventually be living as a married couple. We were more involved together in the purchase of our second home.

What is the wifes main responisbilty?
I try to honor God in our marriage.

How do your bank accounts work is it a joint account?
We keep separate bank accounts since we were both single for so long and it has worked out well for us.

What church do you go to, the wife or the husbands or do you try and find a new church? Anyone marry someone in their own church?

We found a new church in the town we moved to.

Parents in law. How often do you have to see them? Are you still responisble for them in their old age?

I visit my family once a year without my husband. If something were to happen to my parents, I would feel some sort of responsibility. We live a few states away however so daily care isn't possible unless they were to move in with us or closer.

 

[Newtheran]

Is there an age where you are supposed to be married or thinking of marriage? Is there an upper age limit?

I would recommend start thinking in these terms relatively early in life so you don't make mistakes by getting involved with people who have dissimilar goals in life. 15-17 isn't too early to start thinking about such things. By 35, a woman's prime childbearing years are in the rearview mirror. By somewhere between 40 and 50 people are set enough in their ways that meeting someone and building a shared life together becomes difficult. These are generalizations of course, but generalizations exist for a reason.

Do age gaps matter or is it entirely based on how spiritually mature you are?
How healthy physically do you have to be, like do both of you need to see a doctor before marriage?

Age gaps matter to an extent. In general, women live longer than men. Sometimes decades longer. On the other hand, if a man in his mid thirties marries a contemporary he reduces his chances of having a family. Once you get outside a decade gap, the familiar cultural references people have tend to differ.

Whose parents consent do you have to have or is that only for young couples.

It is always wise to consult parents. siblings, and likeminded friends as they may see things about a person that you don't.

The firstborn child...do they have priveliges over the latter born?

Historically they did. Today, such an arrangement for inheritances probably isn't used often. Such concerns may still come in to play if there is a farm or family business to pass on that cannot be easily divided, or if there are other issues in a family such as mental health, drug addiction, which warrant an unequal distribution of inheritance.

How do you go about finding a place to live, together, or is it the husbands main responisbilty?

Typically the city is driven by the location of the job of the primary breadwinner, and then after that a specific property is found cooperatively. Sometimes one individual already has a home or apartment and the other moves in.

What is the wifes main responisbilty?

Proverbs 31.

How do your bank accounts work is it a joint account?

Typically by setting an amount above which you consult the partner before making s purchase.

What church do you go to, the wife or the husbands or do you try and find a new church? Anyone marry someone in their own church?

I don't know that there's a hard and fast answer to that question. I would think that people who went to very dissimilar churches would have the good sense not to get married. For instance, I would never have gotten involved with a woman who went to a pentecostal or charismatic church, or one affiliated with the 'religious left' for example. But I knew that in terms of doctrine I was a cessacionist and I wanted a traditional home where I would work and my wife would be the homemaker. I married someone who was raised in a church tradition similar to the one I attended.

Parents in law. How often do you have to see them? Are you still responisble for them in their old age?

We see ours about once a year because we live at some distance from them for work and they don't want to move. We both get along well with our in laws and agreed that we would care for the the others parents even if they had to come live with us. I like my father in law well enough that I'd even make sure he was taken care of even if, God forbid, something happened to my wife.