My friend has an eating disorder

[All4Christ]

She did come with me one time to slip tracts in library books (years ago when i was a keen new christian) and helped me so, i dont see the problem.

If you have a problem with it all4christ its your problem I dont think she will see it as a problem, in fact its a nice surprise for people and the reason we do it discretely like that is so that God reaches whoever He wants to reach in His own time. Its better than going knocking door to door like JWS do and taking up hours of your time when you in the middle of shopping or doing the garden and really busy. Sorry JWS. Christians in general dont do that kind of religious bombarding.

You have every right to view tracts however you like. I personally like to be open to discussions, and certainly am happy to lend reading materials, but I don't like hiding tracts or slipping them places for people to find. That's me. You can do whatever you want. I only asked how your friend would take it. You know that answer better than I do.

 

[archer75]

I didn't mean the Holy Spirit or an "expert" who lazily prescribes drugs and makes people feel bad.

I meant a counselor (maybe a psychologist or LCSW) who professionally treats people who have eating disorders.

 

[Goodbook]

Well thats beyond me to find that pysychological counselling for her..I wouldnt know where to look.

Her mum said shes going to arrange a nutritionist although just come back from visiting she seemed kinda resistant to the idea and said she preferred her mums cooking but admitted she overate.

Its just over eating. Nothing rocket science.

 

[Goodbook]

The magazines and card and flowers she'll look at when she gets to the open ward although shes hoping to be out soon. But the whole meds things is something shes just accepted BUT I dont know if every single person on clozapine is forever sentenced to a lifetime of battling with weight. Whatever she does will not work until she learns to not over eat, and if you have a drug to blame for ruining your appetite or making you crave then its never going to work if you keep taking it is it?

Imagine everyday trying not to overeat and then just giving in and eating and feeling guilty all the time. This is not the life that Christ has given to us in abundance.

She asked me to pray for her and said have been praying everyday. I told her I find gardening healing...she will get back into it, but dont think shes ready to seriously address the issues with her over eating yet. She has to be honest to God and herself and ask Him for help.

 

[Goodbook]

Told you it wasnt a tract.

You have every right to view tracts however you like. I personally like to be open to discussions, and certainly am happy to lend reading materials, but I don't like hiding tracts or slipping them places for people to find. That's me. You can do whatever you want. I only asked how your friend would take it. You know that answer better than I do.

Told you it wasnt a tract. Its ok, its fine. Shes not into reading much anyway but when asked her if she would like magazines she said yes,so gave her heaps and said she can leave them in the hospital if she doesnt want to take them all home. It is up to her if she wants to read them or not.

Please dont get snotty at christians who leave tracts. If people want them they will take them. We always pray before we leave them where people find them anyway so they are not wasted. Next thing you know you will be complaining about people who leave free bibles.

 

[Goodbook]

One left a christian library book at a home I housesat for, the lady thanked me afterward for leaving it as was just what she needed. Said she could return it to the library whenever.

I dont understand the attitude unless you are an unbeliever which she wasnt, and my friend isnt - that christian literature isnt appreciated.

 

[Goodbook]

Gave a beginners bible today to a new mum for her 2 year old and she appreciated it. Said she could say it was from santa...God always directs me who to give things to its not random.

 

[All4Christ]

Told you it wasnt a tract.

Told you it wasnt a tract. Its ok, its fine. Shes not into reading much anyway but when asked her if she would like magazines she said yes,so gave her heaps and said she can leave them in the hospital if she doesnt want to take them all home. It is up to her if she wants to read them or not.

Please dont get snotty at christians who leave tracts. If people want them they will take them. We always pray before we leave them where people find them anyway so they are not wasted. Next thing you know you will be complaining about people who leave free bibles.

I don't see how my post was "snotty". Like I said, we can agree to differ on this. Just don't accuse me more. I've said multiple times, my view is my personal view. You know her better than me.

 

[Goodbook]

Looked online and starting to read a bit more about binge eating as symptoms fit my friend.
One article said that the treatment that only address behavioural issues of eating wont help. I think..and this is my surmise that if shes in regular fellowship she will be less isolated and then doing stuff especially to help other people she wont have time to focus on feeling unhappy and then overeat for comfort.

I will ask God to help me on this one to be a friend as my other friend thats also friends with her now to widen her support and friendships.

It may take a while. I think since shes selfconcious about being in public with people she doesnt know like most people are, joining a church and knowing nobody would be a bit much. I dont know what happened like when she stopped going to church it would have been before i met her. Maybe when she got married it was just decided she wouldnt go to church since her husband doesnt believe.

Anyway i dont know how am going to bring it up or if I should but communion is so important. You are spiritually fed at the Lords supper. Even when the bread is just a tiny protionand the cup is a mere thimble, what it represents is so satisfying.

 

[Goodbook]

Maybe i just say next time we meet can we go to church on sunday. Im not free to go out to cafe or walk or shopping anymore would rather go to church together.

 

[Goodbook]

Thanks for advice anyone whos reading this esp those that posted scriptures maybe it can help someone else in similar situation.

I know its a sensitive topic with some ppl but if its not addressed there wont be any healing. I mean no judgment on anyone going through it.

Did have a friend that suffered anorexia bulimia years ago she moved away though and was on a different emotional rollercoaster. But kinda knew that our only help and hope is with God There is no other way. This isnt about making someone feel better on the surface or good about themselves its someone who could literally die from their disordered eating habits needing a saviour and accepting his help.

 

[All4Christ]

Looked online and starting to read a bit more about binge eating as symptoms fit my friend.

This is one thing that concerns me. It sounds like you are looking at her symptoms and diagnosing her with binge eating. Has she been diagnosed clinically with an eating disorder? Is that why she is in the hospital?

 

[mina]

I don't think you should be diagnosing her with anything. You are not a doctor. You do know her, but even then it's still not healthy to diagnose your friends. You can pray for her, encourage her, do things with her that don't involve food, urge her to seek proper help, even give her spiritual literature and Bible verses. BUT, for medical and emotional help she needs to listen to her doctors and follow their treatment. You don't have to agree with the doctors, but she isn't under you for medical knowledge and treatment; you have no authority in her life to push a binge eating diagnosis on her. Your friendship with her sounds a tad unhealthy. She may be dealing with binge eating, but she may not be. You don't have the knowledge, experience, qualifications, or authority to make that call in anyone's life other than your own. You may SUGGEST to her to ask her doctor about binge eating, but you don't get to label her with that as a sure diagnosis.

 

[DawnStar]

I don't think you should be diagnosing her with anything. You are not a doctor. You do know her, but even then it's still not healthy to diagnose your friends. You can pray for her, encourage her, do things with her that don't involve food, urge her to seek proper help, even give her spiritual literature and Bible verses. BUT, for medical and emotional help she needs to listen to her doctors and follow their treatment. You don't have to agree with the doctors, but she isn't under you for medical knowledge and treatment; you have no authority in her life to push a binge eating diagnosis on her. Your friendship with her sounds a tad unhealthy. She may be dealing with binge eating, but she may not be. You don't have the knowledge, experience, or authority to make that call in anyone's life other than your own.

You want biblical advice so here is some biblical advice to go along with mina's post above.
1. Proverbs 20:3 It is an honor for a man to cease from strife: but every fool will be meddling.
2. Proverbs 26:17 A person who is passing by and meddles in a quarrel that’s not his is like one who grabs a dog by the ears.
3. 1 Peter 4:15-16 If you suffer, however, it must not be for murder, stealing, making trouble, or prying into other people’s affairs.
4. Proverbs 26:20-21 Where there is no wood, a fire goes out, and where there is no gossip, contention ceases. Like charcoal is to burning coals, and wood to fire, so is a contentious person to kindle strife.
Pray for her. Visit her. Show her you care. Do not try to diagnose her and stop gossiping about her on this forum. There was no need at all for you to speculate on and reveal so much about her life in order for you to ask biblical advice about how to help her.

 

[All4Christ]

Speaking on which, it is important to remember that these threads pop up on Google Search when you type in a query. All our posts are indexed by Google and other search engines. We all should remember that we can only say things we are ok with people seeing when they may do a search on the particular subject. Type in binge eating Christian Forums and this thread pops up! Interesting to think about sometimes. I've researched many topics and find my own posts come up on Google!

 

[Goodbook]

Please dont turn my thread into a debate, I am asking for biblical advice please dont try to make it into a discussion about peoples personal opinions.

 

[All4Christ]

Please dont turn my thread into a debate, I am asking for biblical advice please dont try to make it into a discussion about peoples personal opinions.

The questions I asked (especially the questions about whether it was your diagnosis or clinical) are key questions to giving helpful Biblical advice.

Any posts I make (and I'd say it probably is the same for others) is not just for the sake of it, but for the good of you and your friend. If I didn't care, I wouldn't post at all.

 

[mkgal1]

For "biblical advice" I would suggest Matthew 7

....and as a follow-up to that....this:


Ten Characteristics of Those with Codependent Behavior

1. Feeling responsible for solving others’ problems: The codependent feels the need to solve another’s problems. The codependent believes that help is needed and that the person in need cannot manage to make the right decisions or take the right actions to solve his or her own problems. Without the codependent’s input, disaster for the other person is assured.
2. Offering advice to others whether it is asked for or not: The codependent jumps at the opportunity to provide much-needed advice. The codependent offers an endless stream of good advice regardless of whether the advice has been asked for or not.
3. Expecting others to do what the codependent says: Once advice has been given, the codependent expects the advice to be followed. Codependents often do not understand boundaries.
4. Feeling used and unappreciated for all the codependent does: The codependent will expend enormous amounts of energy to take charge of another’s life-all under the guise of sincerely wanting to help. When the help or advice is ignored or rejected, the codependent feels angry, abused, and unappreciated.
5. Trying to please people so others will like or love the codependent: Codependents will go out of their way to please another, hoping to receive love, approval, or be accepted and liked. If the approval is not given, the codependent will feel victimized.
   [...]

https://www.recoveryconnection.com/top-ten-indicators-suffer-codependency/

 

[mina]

No one is debating here. People are questioning when you are bringing up your own unBiblical and unethical opinions about medically diagnosing a friend. That is very wrong and dangerous and it would be morally wrong if Christians on a Christian forum didn't question you doing this. If you say outlandish things concerning the health and well being(and privacy) on another person, then people should speak up and not just ignore it or agree with you. That goes way beyond just giving advice only from the Bible; especially if the situation you want advice for, is not spoken about in the Bible. Or if what you plan on doing is against Biblical principles.

 

[Goodbook]

Am not codependent. Sorry.

What my friend does is up to her. I am not her mother or spouse. But she HAS asked for prayer.

So thats a step. Also shes a christian, most ppl that are codependent dont know God and try and help but actually make things worse.

I have plenty of other friends so dont worry about that. Codepenency is not actually a biblical way of looking at things. Jesus actually helped those who ASKED just like in the bible he says if you ask our heavenly father for a fish he wont give you a stone.

She has asked ME for help. And my help comes from the Lord.