My friend has an eating disorder

[All4Christ]

I know but i really dont want to go. Have you ever entered the locked ward of a mental hospital? Or been in one? Not for the faint hearted.

So don't go alone. Go with some of her family or your pastor. I'm not saying it is easy. I don't think it would be any harder than, for example, going to visit a family member who is starving to death with mersa because their body can't process their nutrients...who can't process that you are there except a slight squeeze of the hand on good days, when you know they will die in a set number of days due to incurable sickness. That's not for the faint hearted either, but it's what we do for those we love.

 

[Goodbook]

I didnt go visit a supposed boyfriend in rehab when he asked because he was such a user he would have asked me to do stuff for him. At the time.

 

[All4Christ]

I didnt go visit a supposed boyfriend in rehab when he asked because he was such a user he would have asked me to do stuff for him. At the time.

That's your choice to visit or not visit, though I disagree. You don't have to do what they ask, and can visit either way.

 

[Goodbook]

So don't go alone. Go with some of her family or your pastor. I'm not saying it is easy. I don't think it would be any harder than, for example, going to visit a family member who is starving to death with mersa because their body can't process their nutrients...who can't process that you are there except a slight squeeze of the hand on good days, when you know they will die in a set number of days due to incurable sickness. That's not for the faint hearted either, but it's what we do for those we love.

I might go with my mum again, one time i did with her. Her mum and dad live 2 and a half hours away. Ive never visited anyone with a pastor. Pastors are so busy and he doesnt know her. My friend that we have in common lives across town it would be a mission to go with her.

 

[Goodbook]

That's your choice to visit or not visit, though I disagree. You don't have to do what they ask, and can visit either way.

Not really it was best i didnt go visit at the time. I wrote to him though.

 

[All4Christ]

I might go with my mum again, one time i did with her. Her mum and dad live 2 and a half hours away. Ive never visited anyone with a pastor. Pastors are so busy and he doesnt know her. My friend that we have in common lives across town it would be a mission to go with her.

Definitely consider going with your mom or her parents. Also, it doesn't hurt to ask your mutual friend. She may feel more comfortable as well if you are together. Often there is a chaplain available in all sorts of hospitals as well.

 

[Goodbook]

Another friend who was quite manipulative went and saw her in hospital with another friend who knew her. We limited our visit to half an hour cos she would have wanted us to stay and talk for hours. I know if she gets me alone shed ask me for favours all the time.

 

[pureinheart]

I just want to say what an amazing friend and person you are... she is so blessed to have you.

There's a TV show on TLC called 'My 600lb Life'. It gives a lot of insight concerning this very serious food addiction. Everyone is different, and there are different reasons as to why some turn to food for comfort in this manner. Pray for her and I will too- that the Lord reveal the root and that the craving cease in Jesus name.

 

[All4Christ]

Another friend who was quite manipulative went and saw her in hospital with another friend who knew her. We limited our visit to half an hour cos she would have wanted us to stay and talk for hours. I know if she gets me alone shed ask me for favours all the time.

Then going with a friend and limiting the length of visits may be a good idea.

 

[Goodbook]

Friend is not home. Will have to wait till mum gets home from work and ive got some work on today. It may be this evening.

Please pray that I go at a good time and also, that maybe she will read this eating disorder booklet. It has scripture in it. I will hide it in a gardening magazine.

I figured if Jesus waited for Lazarus then maybe I can wait a few days before I go, give her time to settle and listen to the doctors or whoevers trained to deal with this.

 

[Goodbook]

She told me the other day she was watching kardashians and one of them lost 100 pounds or something at the time cos i dont watch tv I didnt really take much notice, but shes a,ways watching tv on people who lose weight like 'the biggest loser' i did give her a book of that tv show once but seeems like she denies her own issues cos she said im not like those ppl. Ive never really seen that show only ever hear about it from her.

Wouldnt they have personal trainers though? At the gym she goes to wouldnt she have one cos i remember going to the gym for a year or so and they made you write down what you eat and give you advice and stuff.

Also used to have this friend in high school who was super obssessed wih what she ate. At the time just thought not much of it and growing up with ppl that think that way thought its just a womans thing cos so many women at work were like that too. Maybe they all unhappy? Without food as comfort?

 

[All4Christ]

Friend is not home. Will have to wait till mum gets home from work and ive got some work on today. It may be this evening.

Please pray that I go at a good time and also, that maybe she will read this eating disorder booklet. It has scripture in it. I will hide it in a gardening magazine.

I figured if Jesus waited for Lazarus then maybe I can wait a few days before I go, give her time to settle and listen to the doctors or whoevers trained to deal with this.

I will pray for her and for guidance for you!

 

[All4Christ]

She told me the other day she was watching kardashians and one of them lost 100 pounds or something at the time cos i dont watch tv I didnt really take much notice, but shes a,ways watching tv on people who lose weight like 'the biggest loser' i did give her a book of that tv show once but seeems like she denies her own issues cos she said im not like those ppl. Ive never really seen that show only ever hear about it from her.

Wouldnt they have personal trainers though? At the gym she goes to wouldnt she have one cos i remember going to the gym for a year or so and they made you write down what you eat and give you advice and stuff.

Also used to have this friend in high school who was super obssessed wih what she ate. At the time just thought not much of it and growing up with ppl that think that way thought its just a womans thing cos so many women at work were like that too. Maybe they all unhappy? Without food as comfort?

Some gyms have personal trainers but not all. Most don't track food though.

Being obsessed about not eating food can be just as damaging as being addicted to food. I know the damage done from overly obsessing over what and how much (how little) I eat from experience. We need a healthy balance.

 

[pdudgeon]

Well she talks about her weight a lot but im not the one putting food in her mouth or feeding her. It might be an emotional thing as seem to notice she eats to make herself feel better.

But to an extreme perhaps?

I think you've hit the nail on the head.
for binge eaters, food is a source of comfort.
and it's usually a learned behavior from one of the family which purpose is either to self reward as a result of insufficient appreciation,
to sooth hurt feelings and to reduce stress,
or else to compensate for not feeling loved or appreciated.

 

[archer75]

I have seen this in my family. It can be terrifying.

My advice:

1) Pray for her
2) Encourage her to get help from a counselor who specializes in this stuff
3) Do NOT take it on yourself to help her directly (with food choices, etc.)

Seriously. Treat it like alcoholism.

 

[Goodbook]

Talked and prayed with friend and she said wait a few days, she wouldnt go herself.
I hope her mum finds the right nutrionist or dietician counselor. She needs a bit of tough love. But she also needs to get honest with God and ask Him for help directly.

 

[Goodbook]

She rang again last night so decided to visit later today or tonight. I asked her if she had anything to read and are they looking after her in hospital.
She said nothing to read so am going to bring gardening magazines she said shed like. She says they looking after her (they having roast chicken?!) and she will be out before christmas.

I will hide the eating disorder booklet in one of the magazines. Also got a card and writng a scripture in it from Matthew 6.

If she just gets back into a routine of eating healthy with three meals a day and then something actually constructive to do (not just going to the gym to lose weight) and the word of God in her to meditate on she may stop obssessing over food?

 

[paul becke]

That, I'm afraid is the nub of the issue. Bearing in mind that most Americans are habitually over-stressed, and are going to tend towards obesity, anyway, since, to all intents and purposes, in addition to that, they are force-fed corn-syrup in a lot of the food they buy. So, while, in my view, it boils down to an expression of wilful self-indulgence, there are quite compelling factors that militate towards what seems, when carried to an extreme, to be a form of almost narcissistic escapism among Americans.

 

[paul becke]

Talked and prayed with friend and she said wait a few days, she wouldnt go herself.
I hope her mum finds the right nutrionist or dietician counselor. She needs a bit of tough love. But she also needs to get honest with God and ask Him for help directly.

Yes, The parallel between the interior life' of the Christian, the life of prayer, and the interior life of the committed, recovering alcoholic strikes me as astonishing. Both are called to endeavor to at all times live in the present. That song, One Day at a Time, is a good anthem for both, although much gain can be had by the Christian by a commitment to what the Jesuit, Pierre de Caussade calls, The Sacrament of the Present Moment : doing the humblest actions at all times, as well as we can, for the glory of God, if that is what the Holy Spirit is asking of us at that moment, being preferable to offering our bodies to be burnt at the stake.

This is not, of course to deny the value of the advice of a nutritionist or dietician counsellor.

 

[Goodbook]

Well, i dont know any dieticians personally that can give advice without making an appointment months in advance and paying through the nose. But surely at the hospital they must have at least someone trained cos they have to feed ppl at the hosptial. ALthough from what i remember is they just give you pills and moustraps and mashed potatoes. And the childrens hosptial used to actually have a mcdonalds in it.