My friend has an eating disorder

[Kit Sigmon]

But i am not sure what she needs. She has parents who love her and a husband.

She's married to an unsaved man and neither of them go to church.
Problem is, she's starving to death... saved people need the spiritual food of the Lord...without it, they flounder about, consuming "junk" they shouldn't.
She also needs to be in regular fellowship/koinonia.

The other thing is...I just "supposing"...her marriage may not be all that "loving".
When the "loving" ain't there...many of us women tend to crave sweets..."specially" chocolate, cause it works like a "drug"...giving satisfaction but when that fades and you want more to make yourself feel good.

 

[Nayte]

Well, obviously pray and pray. But, when I was with a girl. She had an eating disorder, and I helped her with it, by boosting her confidence, complimenting her a lot, telling her you WANT her to eat and that she does not look good if she DOES NOT eat. Just keep pushing good things and pushing the fact that you want her to stop and she will most likely. Be pushy like, act like she is crazy for thinking she is fat, and not eating, like " what you are not going to eat?" or "are you seriously throwing up? you are so attractive and fine the way you are I am shocked that you literally believe you are defected it blows my mind how someone so beautiful does not even see how awesome she is and is seriously believing she has to throw up or not eat"" All she wants is to feel good about herself, so all you have to do is keep making her feel good about herself and comfortable about herself and body. The girl I saw was throwing up, and I would get upset and be like no do not do that, and she saw that I cared and it helped her stop knowing someone cared that much that it hurt them. And I would be on her case about it all the time. "did you throw up again?" "why is their red in the toilet?" lol stuff like that sadly. But ultimately it was the fact that I kept pushing and insisting that she was perfectly fine the way she was, and since they brainwash themselves into thinking they are fat whether they are or are not, it works to kind of brainwash them instead of them doing it to themselves if you get what I mean. Not brainwashing but being that constant voice saying "you are fine the way you are" and "you are good enough" because the it counter acts the voice in their head that says otherwise. Just tell the husband to make sure he tells her how perfect she is the way she is, and how comfortable he is with her and how she should be super comfortable the way she is, just give her some super positive compliments all the time and give her tons of love and just let her see it in your eyes and your heart. It works. The girl, went from throwing up, to not eating enough, and then stopped all together. It was a process, but it stopped and it almost brings me to tears how beautiful it is to help someone with that struggle. But obviously only Christ can truly help us! Praise The Lord of heaven and earth!

 

[Nayte]

Okay I thought you meant a REAL eating disorder
! My fault for not reading! Why are you so worried about her eating chocolate? and weight? Idk but Woah , if she is married to an unsaved man that is not good. We do not mix with unbelievers in that way. Bad choice I sincerely hope they both get saved if not! Especially since the man is the head, so if he is not doing right then he won't lead the woman right! or the children! What happens if the woman is not doing right? Well it is still bad but it seems more damaging when the male is an unbeliever because it will effect others more. And whereas if the woman was an unbeliever he would have a better chance at leading her to Christ if she is a loving wife anyway or normal. But either way, it is bad and we are never supposed to marry unbelievers, there are plenty verses explaining this, and why. But I urge you all to pray for this couple and other couples like them, and everyone out there in this cold cruel world. We all need Christ and we need Him now!

 

[Haramis]

Okay I thought you meant a REAL eating disorder

Overeating IS a real eating disorder. Over 95% of people with diagnosed medical eating disorders, are overeating. Overeating is just as dangerous as under eating, and vastly more common. It's arguably the most serious one, because most people who under eat, eventually stop and end up at a healthier weight(often overweight themselves). Most people who overeat, stay fat forever.

telling her you WANT her to eat and that she does not look good if she DOES NOT eat.

Interesting. Would you say the same thing to someone who is overeating?

 

[joshua 1 9]

Can you pray someone will lose weight even when she doesnt seem to do anything about it?!

You can pray for them. It is still their choice. You can not make their choice for them. They have to want to lose weight. For me I have lost a lot of weight in my life. It is just a struggle not to gain it back again. It does all come down to eating right. A lot of times that means avoiding corn syrup and refined sugars. We need carbs. We need to follow the limit that the government puts on the labels. Which is 300 G per day total carbs. My doctor wants me to eat more protein. My dietician wants me to eat lots of veggies and oatmeal. I do feel better when I eat a lot of veggies. Although I tend to just make veggie soup and drink the broth. My wife likes to make everything fresh. Often she does not use any processed foods.

 

[Haramis]

Weight loss/gain is simple. It's not about exercise, food types, etc. It's pure calories in, calories out. 2000 calories of Pizza Hut = 2000 calories of organic granola. If you eat 2,300 calories a day on a vegan diet, and 1,800 calories a day on a donut diet, you'll gain weight on the vegan diet, and lose weight on the donut diet.

If someone wants to lose weight, they don't need to "eat healthy" or exercise, or "avoid carbs", or go vegetarian or anything else. They need to track their calories closely and eat fewer calories. That's it. It's not complicated. It's very simple.

The reason so many people are fat, is because of all the misinformation. "Maybe you're fat because you're allergic to gluten!". No. Never. You're eating more calories than your body is burning. That's it. Eat fewer calories.

 

[Goodbook]

Yes its so simple yet she makes it harder for herself.
Basically what seems to be the case is, she will not eat much for breakfast or dinner then binge at nighttime. Because nobody can see her then. Then she will go to the gym in an effort to burn it off, but the problem is she is always eating more, then starving herself during the day so by nightime she is craving. I never see her at nighttime so have no idea what her habits are BUT whenever we go out shes totally obssesed about what she eats. Although many women are like this, which is horrible. But if it consumes you whole life, she has made it an idol.

 

[Goodbook]

Funny i picked up a booklet on eating disorder at this church tonite maybe will give it to her if i see her tomorrow in hospital.
It did mention anorxia and bulimia, which she doesnt have but it does say about binge eating. She could go either way with it, but its the over eating thats the concern. For example at christmas most people give you a box of chocolates right. And nobody eats a whole box of chocolates by themselves you just share them round...but she will.

 

[Goodbook]

She does go for the wrong food though becAuse with all that sugar she hasnt learned just not to eat it even after all the dental treatment that costs a bomb. It will be like, oh i will eat salad, im good and then since ive been good now i can have this blackforest cake. Help me eat it kind of thing.

Its just mind blowing the way she denies herself and then indulges. Constantly over and over every single day.

 

[Goodbook]

She WANTS to lose weight well shes constsntly telling me she wants to. But it doesnt seem to ever happen. She just gains it all back again. It may be part of schizoaffective disorder that she has this doublemindedness, yo yo dieting.
If she just had three proper meals a day and no snacks or desserts it would be enough. But its like she will go out and think she has to treat herself all the time.

I dont know about living with an unsaved husband. I did give her an arabic new testament once to give to her husband (who is kurdish) they appear to have a good relationship but no children. But obviously she seems far from God as never heard her say grace before any meal we have out either.

My other christian friends do and its a habit of theirs to. But she will start eating before i even have my plate.

 

[Goodbook]

I have invited her to church a few times but she always demurs and says i think about it. Shes never ever come with me. I told her last week im thinking of not going to church since nobody goes with me (hint) but she says oh no keep going. The only time is if I hold a bible reading that i have ever seen her pray and read the bible. I gave her one and she said shed read it but dont know if she ever reads it regularly on her own.

She said when she was younger she went all the time.i think now shes married she just doesnt go since her husband isnt christian. :-(

Anyway not much i can do i suppose just pray. jesus said not to worry about what to eat and what to wear as thats what gentiles or heathens worry about yet her she is constantly worrying about food and clothing.

 

[DawnStar]

Pretty much all you can do is pray for her. In the meantime you should stop gossiping about her in a public forum. Because that is exactly what you are doing.
1 Timothy 5:13
At the same time they also learn to be idle, as they go around from house to house; and not merely idle, but also gossips and busybodies, talking about things not proper to mention.

 

[BeStill&Know]

I was thinking of visitng her in hospital today but now I just dont want to go. She might use me as a mule to get her unhealthy food.

hello Goodbook, Hear His Holy voice to know what to do concerning your friend. She is in rebellion not wanting to hear soundly. My concern mainly is with you. pray for her is Godly and be a friend as much that is of Gods will. I say this as Jesus students are many times distracted from Gods voice by the un saved. satan comes to lie, steal and kill to believers, stealing time, energy, loyalty and our hearts that we have for those around us.

 

[Goodbook]

hello Goodbook, Hear His Holy voice to know what to do concerning your friend. She is in rebellion not wanting to hear soundly. My concern mainly is with you. pray for her is Godly and be a friend as much that is of Gods will. I say this as Jesus students are many times distracted from Gods voice by the un saved. satan comes to lie, steal and kill to believers, stealing time, energy, loyalty and our hearts that we have for those around us.

Thanks well i may send her a card and write a scripture in it cos I dont want to go to into the mental hospital itself. She will be put on meds and probably be 'out of it' i.e drugged. When you are drugged you cant really hear anything or listen to reason.

Her husband asked me to come over even stay the night and i was like no! I rang her mum and she said take your mum with you and dont stay, give him some food (since he probably hadnt been eating or sleeping) and then leave. So i saw him and we chatted he told me what his wife was up to but mum said I dont trust him...

When she rang it was like 10pm and she was wanting me to visit right there and then. I said no its late, maybe tomorrow and then she changed the subject.

I have known her for many years and shes one of my long time friends. But this was before i was a christian and shes kind of not made much progress spiritually that I know of, shes always incredibly self absorbed with her diets and clothes shopping.

 

[Goodbook]

Although recently she has got into gradening which is a good thing.

 

[Goodbook]

She's married to an unsaved man and neither of them go to church.
Problem is, she's starving to death... saved people need the spiritual food of the Lord...without it, they flounder about, consuming "junk" they shouldn't.
She also needs to be in regular fellowship/koinonia.

The other thing is...I just "supposing"...her marriage may not be all that "loving".
When the "loving" ain't there...many of us women tend to crave sweets..."specially" chocolate, cause it works like a "drug"...giving satisfaction but when that fades and you want more to make yourself feel good.

Thats true i dont really get the whole chocolate craving thing. I mean its nice treat but many women just go overboard with it beyond all reason.

 

[All4Christ]

Thanks well i may send her a card and write a scripture in it cos I dont want to go to into the mental hospital itself. She will be put on meds and probably be 'out of it' i.e drugged. When you are drugged you cant really hear anything or listen to reason.

It doesn't matter if she can or can't hear and understand you. Remember all the scriptures about visiting and caring for the sick, and even more so how we should join together in prayer.

 

[Goodbook]

Yes well she didnt ring her husband she rang her dad when shed wandered off. He then had someone pick her up and take her to hospital. I think being married to a unsaved husband must be really difficult but it was her choice..she was a christian before she married him unlike my other friend who became a christian after when she had her first child.

Although i know another young mum who hardly ever comes to church so doenst fellowship and she kinda made her husband convert when she married him but have never seen him at church. When she comes she comes on her own. She comes to the bible study but has now stopped because of her two children. Because shes young i used to be quite concerned for her because shed say all the right things in the bible study but then just refuse to fellowship with us. And i thought that was odd cos she apparently was a member of that church well she claimed to be and was a christian a lot longer than i had been and going since childhood.

 

[Goodbook]

It doesn't matter if she can or can't hear and understand you. Remember all the scriptures about visiting and caring for the sick, and even more so how we should join together in prayer.

I know but i really dont want to go. Have you ever entered the locked ward of a mental hospital? Or been in one? Not for the faint hearted.

 

[Goodbook]

Last time i rang they said she was asleep. I will go when God says its time for me to go. Im not going to bring her food or buy her stuff.

Praise the Lord she doesnt smoke anymore because she would have asked me to smuggle in smokes for her.