Men Have No Friends and Women Bear the Burden

[ThisIsMe123]

Men Have No Friends and Women Bear the Burden

Women are increasingly playing the role of best friend, lover, and on-call therapist to their male partners.

www.harpersbazaar.com

Wow. this is pretty insightful. Apparently, women are tired of being therapists to their boyfriends/husbands? That they can't forge close friendships with other male friends? And "Women are paying the price".

 

[Sesame Seed]

Shame they make shocking mothers these days... And a great deal of them adulterous, unless they are Christian I wouldn't waste your time.

 

[Sir Robbins]

most men I know who are single have loads of friends. The ones who are married pretty much ghosted us when they got a girl involved. Seems having both friends and a wife/GF today is illogical and impracticable. Just what I have seen.

 

[timewerx]

Men Have No Friends and Women Bear the Burden

Women are increasingly playing the role of best friend, lover, and on-call therapist to their male partners.

www.harpersbazaar.com

Wow. this is pretty insightful. Apparently, women are tired of being therapists to their boyfriends/husbands? That they can't forge close friendships with other male friends? And "Women are paying the price".

I'm a keen observer of relationships. I think it's also the woman's fault why her male partner loses their friends.

She decides who can or cannot be your friend. You usually end up putting up with people who don't really like and that explains why they can't forge close friendships. The lack of friends then leads to all sort of psychological issues.

This may not be true for many women. BUT on many relationships I've seen, it was the case.

I've never been on a relationship but I've observed it with my parents, uncles, aunts, friends, etc.

 

[timewerx]

most men I know who are single have loads of friends. The ones who are married pretty much ghosted us when they got a girl involved. Seems having both friends and a wife/GF today is illogical and impracticable. Just what I have seen.

The woman probably decided who can be their friends. It's far too common in relationships.

A man can still have friends if the wife decides who. But someone you probably won't like or find annoying which can explain why men in relationships can have difficulty in forging close relationships with other men because it wasn't their choice.

 

[Saucy]

I wouldn't trust his opinion piece as if it's fact, obviously written by a man-hater who blames everything on toxic masculinity when it's really toxic feminism doing the most damage. In most relationships I've observed, it's the women who do not let their BFs or husbands have friends.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

I wouldn't trust his opinion piece as if it's fact, obviously written by a man-hater who blames everything on toxic masculinity when it's really toxic feminism doing the most damage. In most relationships I've observed, it's the women who do not let their BFs or husbands have friends.

I get what you mean, I'm sure it can happen on the other side of the coin, but I think there was something to be said about how women can vent and share feelings with each other in their circleof female friends....but men cannot do the same with their other dudes. This leads the wife or girlfriend to be a therapist as opposed to a girlfriend or spouse.

And I'm like "What's wrong with that? You're #1 in your life has a problem with you venting to her?"

 

[timewerx]

I get what you mean, I'm sure it can happen on the other side of the coin, but I think there was something to be said about how women can vent and share feelings with each other in their circleof female friends....but men cannot do the same with their other dudes. This leads the wife or girlfriend to be a therapist as opposed to a girlfriend or spouse.

And I'm like "What's wrong with that? You're #1 in your life has a problem with you venting to her?"

Venting and sharing your feelings with close friends doesn't really make you a better person or mentally stable.

I find women, married or not no better than men. What seems to make a difference is how much money a man or a woman makes. The more they make, the more indifferent, cold, harsh, and mean they got, unless they are dealing with someone about as well to do or even better than them.

One of the reasons I'm still single is I'm finding less and less women who are Godly and I'm talking about women I see in church. Everyone's just too conceited and materialistic these days, loving material things more than God.

 

[Mark Quayle]

I get what you mean, I'm sure it can happen on the other side of the coin, but I think there was something to be said about how women can vent and share feelings with each other in their circleof female friends....but men cannot do the same with their other dudes. This leads the wife or girlfriend to be a therapist as opposed to a girlfriend or spouse.

And I'm like "What's wrong with that? You're #1 in your life has a problem with you venting to her?"

I don't want to argue here, so try not to take it that way, but it might be helpful to the forum to hear.

Your experience doesn't line up with everyone else's. If you give your heart to your #1 and she walks all over it, yeah, you're going to have a problem venting to her. I've watched this over and over. Men who either explode or give up. But to be honest, there are plenty women that go through this too —maybe even more.

 

[Tranquil Bondservant]

Men Have No Friends and Women Bear the Burden

Women are increasingly playing the role of best friend, lover, and on-call therapist to their male partners.

www.harpersbazaar.com

"Kelly’s story, though extreme, is a common example of modern American relationships. Women continue to bear the burden of men’s emotional lives, and why wouldn’t they? For generations, men have been taught to reject traits like gentleness and sensitivity, leaving them without the tools to deal with internalized anger and frustration. Meanwhile, the female savior trope continues to be romanticized on the silver screen (thanks Disney!), making it seem totally normal—even ideal—to find the man within the beast.

Unlike women, who are encouraged to foster deep platonic intimacy from a young age, American men—with their puffed up chests, fist bumps, and awkward side hugs—grow up believing that they should not only behave like stoic robots in front of other men, but that women are the only people they are allowed to turn to for emotional support—if anyone at all."

Isn't more of a 'turning to a significant other' thing than a 'turning to women' thing? The whole article seems a bit wacky. Loneliness is currently a stealthy epidemic (which was only exacerbated by Covid) and it affects both men and women. I mean sure, guys are seemingly affected a bit more just due to the nature of being a dude and as somebody personally infected by this plague I also understand why that is, but one thing I've seen at least on this website is that chicks seem to have it just as bad as blokes.

 

[Miles]

Rather than blaming abstract concepts like toxic masculinity or feminism, I think individuals are ultimately responsible for their own behavior. Factors like upbringing can have an impact, to an extent, but hiding behind a big name social movement or dynamic doesn't give them a free pass as far as I'm concerned. If they aren't virtuous, it's because they lack virtue. Not because they're male or female.

My friendships are up to me and the people I'm friendly with. I prefer masculinity in myself and femininity in the women I date. Beyond that, friendships don't have much to do with these things. If somebody is alright, they're alright. If not, that's their problem. There have always been men and women who behave badly, who don't treat others with common courtesy and exhibit antisocial traits. I try to avoid such people when I can.