'manly' man

[NicelyAged]

"Don't y'all think that if a man is Godly, then the rest should fall into place? I like masculinity but it shouldn't be a guy's first priority. It shouldn't be his idol.

This is what my friend thinks is lacking in his life: that he's not a 'manly' man. I told him not to worry about that. Be a Godly man with Godly masculine qualities (i.e. provider, protector, etc.).

No it won't automatically fall into place. The church has encouraged men to be soft, and when it comes to being masculine hasn't been that good at giving us guidance. All of CCM and the Christian bookstores themselves cater primarily to women. Most Bible studies (with the exception of the one I frequent) have far more women than they do men.

The toughness is mostly gone from American Christianity. "

** Wow, you really nailed it. In the Church today, if a man acts like a basic man, he needs drugs, counselling, and he's not making the grade spiritually.


What is the definition of "Godly"?

 

[*Starlight*]

I'm not stereotyping; gender is gender. There is no neutral. I do expect certain things of a certain gender.

It's my personal preference I don't end up with a guy who loves to paint his nails. If that leaves me lonely for the rest of my life (which I doubt), so be it.. I'd rather be alone than shiver every time my man enters the room with full make-up on his face

It's good that you expect some things from someone who would be your partner for life.

I just hope you don't treat guys who DO like make up as if they were some worse kind of human, or something like that.

 

[intricatic]

It's good that you expect some things from someone who would be your partner for life.

I just hope you don't treat guys who DO like make up as if they were some worse kind of human, or something like that.

I don't generally treat anyone differently, but I don't hang out with people who don't share simmilar interests. I guess that's how all people are when it comes down to it.

 

[Silver Speak]

I just hope you don't treat guys who DO like make up as if they were some worse kind of human, or something like that.

Nope, but that's too much of a drag queen thing for my tastes. I do not think their 'worse' but I'd be lying if I said it doesn't weird me out.

 

[*Starlight*]

Nope, but that's too much of a drag queen thing for my tastes. I do not think their 'worse' but I'd be lying if I said it doesn't weird me out.

Well, I think the best thing to do is to live and let live... People are different, and it's natural that everyone tends to hang out with those who have some things in common with them.

But we should accept everyone as a fellow human and a child of God. Even if such people really do weird you out, consider how you would feel if someone told you that you weird him/her out.

Matthew 7:12 - So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. (NIV)

 

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

I don't know what a "manly" man is. Does that mean someone who looks masculine, who likes guns, etc? I don't know. All I know is that I would rather have a Godly man. A man who is a leader, who strives to live according to the Bible, and who provides well for his family, spends time with his family, etc.

 

[intricatic]

Well, I think the best thing to do is to live and let live... People are different, and it's natural that everyone tends to hang out with those who have some things in common with them.

But we should accept everyone as a fellow human and a child of God. Even if such people really do weird you out, consider how you would feel if someone told you that you weird him/her out.

Matthew 7:12 - So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. (NIV)

That happens to me all the time, I find it incredibly amusing when I 'weird people out'.

 

[Blank123]

But the vibes that I sense whenever I hear Christians talk about a "Godly man" or masculinity don't say, "This is what I like. This is what I find attractive. This is what I value." Instead, they say, "This is what makes a man. Any male who does not meet that standard is a coward and an immature, irresponsible, pathetic, disgrace." It is extremely judgemental.

Perhaps some women do think that, however most women when they say that they are merely talking about the type of guy they are attracted to, they're not necesarrily trying to immasculate men who don't act or look a certain way.

And it is extremely narrow minded. Either a guy is a "man" or he is not. And they won't settle for anything less than a "man".

Well I won't settle for anything less than the Godly man I know I should be with. That doesn't mean I don't consider unGodly men or unreligious men to be unworthy of spending time with me as a friend or that I dont consider them to have any value as men.

Maybe objectifying is not the right word for all of it. But whatever we call it, it is dehumanizing. People have the right to be their unique selves without being compartamentalized into narrow categories like "man", "Godly man", etc. And when we do limit people in that manner it causes a lot of strain and a lot of unneeded human suffering.

I think you might be overthinking this whole thing. This is simply a vague characteristic or quality that many women want and its definition can change from person to person. If I match one man's idea of a girly girl that doesn't mean I have been put into a box and have lost my identity - it just means that he is attracted to me because I have some characteristic that he finds attractive.

If you get married do you not have any idea of what type of woman you'd like to en up with or that you are attracted to? I'm sure you'd want a woman you think is pretty, a woman that is nice, a woman that is intelligent, correct? These are all characteristics, and choosing that you woul want to end up with a woman who has anyone of those characteristics is really no different than a woman saying she wants a 'manly man' or a 'Godly man'

 

[Sketcher]

It does sound ridiculous. When I think of a "Manly Man" I instantly think of a failed WWE character that William Regal portrayed ROFLOL. And the character's theme entrance music was even funnier with a chorus of men singing "He's a man, such a man . . . he's a real, real man's man . . . "

DIANE

You've got high standards.

I'm not masculine, and I'm not feminine... I'm just myself and I don't understand why some people realy like to put others in a box by stereotyping them. Everyone's unique and we should celebrate the diversity instead of trying to make all men masculine and all women feminine.

I hope you'll enjoy the single life. One of the basic elements of sexual attraction is the other person being masculine or feminine. I certainly wouldn't be attracted to a mannish female, or anyone where I had to make a double take to figure the gender out. I think it's safe to say neither would most people. It's not judgementalism, it's biology.

 

[Diane_Windsor]

You've got high standards.

That totally went over your head

diane

 

[JPPT1974]

I got high standards too
But afraid that those won't be met
Not by a longshot!

 

[Silver Speak]

I hope you'll enjoy the single life. One of the basic elements of sexual attraction is the other person being masculine or feminine. I certainly wouldn't be attracted to a mannish female, or anyone where I had to make a double take to figure the gender out. I think it's safe to say neither would most people. It's not judgementalism, it's biology.

Exactly.

 

[*Starlight*]

I hope you'll enjoy the single life.

Aww, thanks (but I'm not single, I only posted in this thread because I found it by clicking on "daily" and I haven't noticed that it's in the singles forum)

One of the basic elements of sexual attraction is the other person being masculine or feminine. I certainly wouldn't be attracted to a mannish female, or anyone where I had to make a double take to figure the gender out. I think it's safe to say neither would most people. It's not judgementalism, it's biology.

What if someone just isn't very masculine or feminine, either physically or mentally (or both)? Should such a person pretend to be someone he/she is not for their whole life just to avoid being single?

 

[Tuffguy]

Aww, thanks (but I'm not single, I only posted in this thread because I found it by clicking on "daily" and I haven't noticed that it's in the singles forum)

What if someone just isn't very masculine or feminine, either physically or mentally (or both)? Should such a person pretend to be someone he/she is not for their whole life just to avoid being single?

You're either one or the other. Picking the one you are and being that part isn't faking.

 

[*Starlight*]

You're either one or the other. Picking the one you are and being that part isn't faking.

What do you mean?

 

[intricatic]

I've never met someone who didn't fall into one category or the other. It's not about how a person looks (at least not for the most part).

 

[*Starlight*]

I've never met someone who didn't fall into one category or the other. It's not about how a person looks (at least not for the most part).

So do you mean that all the males you've met had a personality which fits into male stereotypes, and all females you've met fit into female stereotypes?

 

[intricatic]

So do you mean that all the males you've met had a personality which fits into male stereotypes, and all females you've met fit into female stereotypes?

No, I think the stereotype deal is a bit of large cover for a smaller truth. People in general are often more complicated than that. However, I would say that they were either more feminine or more masculine, and that's an easier thing to explain.

 

[*Starlight*]

No, I think the stereotype deal is a bit of large cover for a smaller truth. People in general are often more complicated than that. However, I would say that they were either more feminine or more masculine, and that's an easier thing to explain.

Well, I think I agree with you because it's hard to be exactly in the middle... But I think that someone's gender doesn't define their personality.

 

[intricatic]

Well, I think I agree with you because it's hard to be exactly in the middle... But I think that someone's gender doesn't define their personality.

Of course not. Their gender does define certain genetic traits that accompany it, though.