Just wanted to ask Are you too set in your ways?

[Joni Steele]

Or would you be willing to change them if you meet him or her?

I'm 60 and have been single since I came to Christ at age 44. I have developed my own routine but I am certain that if God brought a future companion to me that he would also give me the ability to adapt to a new routine.

 

[GoodLightSJ]

Eh, I've changed (for the better) a lot recently. Lost over 60 lbs, got my spiritual ducks in a row, identified the academic steps I need to take to get where I need to go. Feels good.

 

[HisGraceAbounds]

I am too set in my ways. Far too set.

I've been single since my divorce in 2005/2006. I didn't intentionally avoid it, but pursuit of my career and education was far more important to me than to pursue a relationship.

Eventually, I realized that I need not ever pursue a relationship again. I'm far too moody for most women; far too morose and misanthropic; far too distant and reserved. I'm not able to now, just as I was never able to in the past, form emotional bonds with other people. I can say "I love you", but from me, it doesn't mean a whole lot. There's no demonstration of it - no evidence. I'm not capable of getting physically close to anyone - never was. I can't - physically, emotionally, or spiritually be anything more than a very tepid friend.

There isn't any changing it. It's who I am. It's how I've always been.

If I met 'Ms. Right', I'd most likely handle the situation as I do all others - be polite but not friendly. She'd pass in and out of my life in an instant. For all I know, she probably already did many years ago and I snubbed her.

 

[sampa]

I definitely think I can change and I think even 20 years from now I will because I always have a state of mind of growing and childlike curiosity. After 16 years in my workplace those that had known me when I started I know would be bewildered with where I am today and how much of a different person I am.

 

[bluegot]

I have been single now for 14 years and am loving it. Life being not single was hell on earth and it damaged me. I doubt I could trust again. I have become set in my ways and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to change that for anyone.

I do get tired of people assuming that your life isn't complete without a mate. Honestly, my life is better than it ever has been and I don't want that to change.

 

[bèlla]

Or would you be willing to change them if you meet him or her?

I'll do a lot of things for the right man I won't do for most. I make exceptions for remarkable suitors. I don't lower my standard. I change the entrance fee. A work-in-progress is acceptable for exemplary men.

~bella

 

[I AM CONTENT]

I am too set in my ways for I have been single my entre life so far and have no intention of dating and or getting marred for I am content in my life. I am happy in where in going so far.

 

[Niels]

Too set in my ways? No. My ways are carefully considered, and sometimes hard fought. Changing for a woman would be foolish. If she isn't willing to accept that, then she isn't my kind of girl.

My previous answer still stands, however. It's good to have a growth-mindset. To be able to learn, improve, and adapt to changing circumstances. But change for a member of the opposite sex? No thanks, ma'am. It's my responsibility to be myself, both for my peace of mind and for somebody who is genuinely compatible. Not to earn the approval of folks who aren't right for me.

I don't mean this to sound harsh. There are lots of people in this world. People who might otherwise be happy and productive together, if they manage to meet. Let's help each other do that by respecting boundaries and remaining true to ourselves.

 

[sampa]

Or would you be willing to change them if you meet him or her?

I definitely don't think I am set in my ways on all things. I am constantly changing. I've adapted to so many things, the workplace, my living situations, my parents changing health circumstances, I'm pretty sure I'm ready to adapt and be flexible but I also will have parts of me that I will be stubborn. I'm expecting some kind of equal stubbornness with the mate that I will be with. Not a quarrelsome some type, but maybe some stubbornness.