Is it possible to be too ugly to get IRL friends?

[Ceallaigh]

[/QUOTE]

True. I dont have that thought, and cant get it. So im stuck.

It's a thing one is born with and has no control over. I used to wish I was attractive. But these days, I wouldn't want unwanted attention just based on my looks.

 

[KJ91]

You simply had the misfortune of meeting people who has their concept of beauty twisted entirely the other way around!

I've seen your picture, you're not ugly, above average, and that is my very honest opinion, no sugar coating! Although I do find many of the alien species in Star Trek attractive.

You should be thankful those people who thinks your ugly did not become your friends because they'd be horrible friends, nothing more than an empty shell that would crumble even in the slightest wind.

Don't think it's the norm, you're probably just getting through the "bad luck" phase of your life. I have for many years and still. I have lost hope many times. I don't think it's because I'm ugly but simply because the devil must hate me so much more than other people because I stumbled upon the dreaded truth.

Its not possible to be missfortune in meeting the wrong people all the time for a very long time. Its clear that the problem is me, not others.

Bad luck phrase? I had this problem for 16 years, from age 14 to my current age, 31. This "bad luck phase" is my normal life.

 

[KJ91]

The bigger the stumbling block the greater the effort. If you’re wrestling against difficult things you need to increase your warfare. Which means more prayer, fasting, time in the word, fellowship, and positive helps. You can’t afford to slack when the odds are great. You turn up the heat and storm heaven until it breaks.

Thoughts are the devil’s domain. That’s where he starts. Feelings follow then people and circumstances. We’re our greatest adversary. He disarms us from within and without until we crumble. The negatives you repeat are manna for him. He wants you to say it and believe it too.

The spiritual realm is like a chessboard and you’re the prize. The goal is to keep you from God. He uses the pain and disappointment to sow doubt and keeps feeding it until you give up. Once you do you’re his. That’s how he thinks.

Read The Screwtape Letters. It will enlighten you.

~bella

I have putting in a giganic effort for 16 years nonstop, i realised its not gonna work and gave up. God wants me to live socially isolated my whole life. He made it so nobody can like me. He wants me for himself.

 

[Lost Witness]

God wants me to live socially isolated my whole life

That's simply not correct.
GOD wouldn't have made EVE for Adam.
"And the Lord GOD said, It is not good that the man should be alone;I will make him an help meet for him."

 

[StillGods]

I know how you feel (really do) but it could also be being made worse by the enemy telling you lies and putting you down all the time.
so stand up to the lies in Jesus Name, and tell the enemy to back off.

the truth according to Gods Word is that God has called you according to His purposes and He has prepared good works in advance for you to do.

when I first discovered this it was very freeing. I have what society would (and have sometimes to my face) call deformed hands.
I have had huge hangups about being ugly too aside from my beautiful hands (beautiful because they work enough to be able to serve God with them). BUT if I were made any other way God would not be able to use me in the way He has, I also would not know God in the way I do.

I would recommend finding somewhere to help the less fortunate, maybe if you are able bodied you can help those who are not in some way, maybe if you have free time you can volunteer feeding homeless people, these sorts of things.

The enemy wants to keep you preoccupied with negative thoughts about yourself, so that you aren't out helping those less fortunate to know they are cared about and that God loves them. Dont let that strategy work on you.

God has called you! find meaning and worth in the blessing you can be to others, try different ways to help people that need it and this will shift your perspective, you will find your looks dont matter to you so much.... at least that has been my experience. A smile and kindness from any face can be beautiful to a person who is being given what they desperately need but cant provide for themselves.

and chances are you will find friends among other people who volunteer because often people who help others see beyond the surface of people and are more genuine caring people.

 

[Lost Witness]

Problem is that im actually super ugly for real

We're made in GODS Image.
GODS Likeness. does that mean the LORD himself who is perfect in every way both conceivably and inconceivably would make something 'ugly'
wouldn't even the least of his creations be beautiful?
" Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee"

 

[KJ91]

That's simply not correct.
GOD wouldn't have made EVE for Adam.
"And the Lord GOD said, It is not good that the man should be alone;I will make him an help meet for him."

Adam was the only human at that time. Nowdays there is vastly more. God have different plans for all of us.

 

[Lost4words]

Embrace what God has given you. Ugly to one can be beautiful to another!

Be positive my friends.

God bless you

 

[Lost Witness]

Adam was the only human at that time. Nowdays there is vastly more. God have different plans for all of us.

why accept the lie the enemy continues to tell you?

 

[KJ91]

Embrace what God has given you. Ugly to one can be beautiful to another!

Be positive my friends.

God bless you

Im deformed, objective ugly. Thats a fact. Nobody has ever told me that im not ugly. In fact many have told me that im super ugly, most ugly guy they ever seen etc. Its not possible for anyone to think im not super ugly.

 

[KJ91]

why accept the lie the enemy continues to tell you?

Its God who tells me this. Ive been friendless for 16 years. Thats the proof right there that im not good enough to get a friend.

 

[Lost Witness]

Thats the proof right there that im not good enough to get a friend.

That doesn't prove anything other than what you feel.
"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?"


One of my first friends, who i know i truly loved
Was Born Blind, She had Anophthalmia of Both eye's and a cleft lip.
I loved her completely.
She was beautiful to me then and is now
I lost touch with her as a child.
I think about her often.

 

[KJ91]

That doesn't prove anything other than what you feel.
"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?"

If i was good enough, i would not have been friendless for 16 years.

 

[bèlla]

I have putting in a giganic effort for 16 years nonstop, i realised its not gonna work and gave up. God wants me to live socially isolated my whole life. He made it so nobody can like me. He wants me for himself.

Then admit you’ve thrown in the towel. You’re making negative comments about yourself and know we’ll respond. So which is it? Are you looking for help or pity?

 

[StillGods]

If i was good enough, i would not have been friendless for 16 years.

I'm saying the gently, the enemy uses lies and put downs to make us isolate ourselves.

Even when we venture outside the enemy will sometimes use people to insult us so we go back and stay isolated. That is the strategy the enemy uses, and likewise myself too I did not believe myself worthy of friends for years and kept to myself fearing those negative comments, o I get where you're coming from.

To combat this you will need to start renewing your mind with the truth from scripture about how God sees you, and who you are in Christ. then when you venture out and the devil uses people to call you names you can recall to mind scriptures that will make you strong and those comments will just fall away.

I also have been called the ugliest thing he had ever seen by a relative. but this is not true.

may I recommend the Freedom in Christ course. I believe it would really be beneficial and healing.

I pray God visits you with His incredible Love and heals the hurt places.
may God bless you very much!!

 

[Lost Witness]

I'm saying the gently, the enemy uses lies and put downs to make us isolate ourselves.

Amen.

 

[KJ91]

Then admit you’ve thrown in the towel. You’re making negative comments about yourself and know we’ll respond. So which is it? Are you looking for help or pity?

Yeah i have given up on finding friends and a wife.

Im not looking for help because there is nothing that can help me. Its God himself who told me this. He made me this way.

I dont want pity, that would be pointless. What im gonna do with it, clap my hands?

I will list 3 things what im doing.

1: Venting

2: To see if there is anybody like me here

3: Showing the truth to you people who say "there is someone for everyone" "everyone can get a friend", im telling you people that you are wrong, its actually possible to not be good enough your whole life for anyone, to live single and friendless your whole life,
even thougt you dont want to, irs fully possible. And in some cases it has nothing do to with "self esteem" etc but just that
that person is simply not good enough, people are shallow. Its very rare thought to be so flawed that nobody can ever like you. Im
one of those very few.

 

[LoveDivine]

I have putting in a giganic effort for 16 years nonstop, i realised its not gonna work and gave up. God wants me to live socially isolated my whole life. He made it so nobody can like me. He wants me for himself.

God doesn't want anyone to live socially isolated their entire life. That is not right for you to say. In doing so, you are actually ascribing a cruel nature to God. You should really rethink this mindset as it is very harmful. There are many times that Christians have found themselves in situations of isolation : not because God planned that for them, but because others shunned or persecuted them because of their commitment to God. God should not be viewed as some capricious being that decides to make you ugly and friendless to keep you "all for himself." Just think about how that sounds. A God that is cruel would not be just or worth serving. So, instead of being bratty in all these posts and ignoring and arguing with anyone who tries to encourage you, why don't you think about the obvious: the problem might be that you want this to be true and you continue this cycle of being friendless because you push others away. You have convinced yourself that it is true and you don't want to be told otherwise. By now, you would have lots of friends in this forum if you spent your time engaging with others in the other discussions instead of starting these pointless, negative threads. I would have stayed out of this thread altogether, but I think you should be reminded to speak more carefully about God. It is okay to vent sometimes or feel down, but it always sinful to blame God. It doesn't help you at all and it alienates the only one who can help you. Just a thought

 

[KJ91]

I'm saying the gently, the enemy uses lies and put downs to make us isolate ourselves.

Even when we venture outside the enemy will sometimes use people to insult us so we go back and stay isolated. That is the strategy the enemy uses, and likewise myself too I did not believe myself worthy of friends for years and kept to myself fearing those negative comments, o I get where you're coming from.

To combat this you will need to start renewing your mind with the truth from scripture about how God sees you, and who you are in Christ. then when you venture out and the devil uses people to call you names you can recall to mind scriptures that will make you strong and those comments will just fall away.

I also have been called the ugliest thing he had ever seen by a relative. but this is not true.

may I recommend the Freedom in Christ course. I believe it would really be beneficial and healing.

I pray God visits you with His incredible Love and heals the hurt places.
may God bless you very much!!

Yes the devil does that, but my "problems" is not lies from the devil, its truth from God. I just have to accept being friendless and virgin my whole life. God made this way because he wants me for himself. Satan is trying to tempt me to want friends and wife. God told me this.

I have been called ugliest thing by many people i can tell you.

I doubt that course will help, but sure i can try it.

 

[KJ91]

God doesn't want anyone to live socially isolated their entire life. That is not right for you to say. In doing so, you are actually ascribing a cruel nature to God. You should really rethink this mindset as it is very harmful. There are many times that Christians have found themselves in situations of isolation : not because God planned that for them, but because others shunned or persecuted them because of their commitment to God. God should not be viewed as some capricious being that decides to make you ugly and friendless to keep you "all for himself." Just think about how that sounds. A God that is cruel would not be just or worth serving. So, instead of being bratty in all these posts and ignoring and arguing with anyone who tries to encourage you, ( and gasp, blaming God) why don't you think about the obvious: the problem might be that you want this to be true and you continue this cycle of being friendless because you push others away. You have convinced yourself that it is true and you don't want to be told otherwise. By now, you would have lots of friends in this forum if you spent your time engaging with others in the other discussions instead of starting these pointless, negative threads. I would have stayed out of this thread altogether, but I think you should be reminded to speak more carefully about God. It is okay to vent sometimes or feel down, but it always sinful to blame God. It doesn't help you at all and it alienates the only one who can help you. Just a thought

Not sure if being friendless my whole life is the same thing as socially isolated?

It sounds perfectly fine, God wants all of me for himself, to worship him. Its pure love. Its Satan who is trying to tempt me to want friends and a wife.

Im not igonering anyone, i respond to everyone. I just dont agree with you guys.

For 16 years i tried getting friends and a wife, and i belived in myself. And yet, even with this positive mindset, i failed. I never pushed away anyone. And yet nobody wanted to be my friend and wife during this 16 years. That is proof right there
im not made for having friends and wife.

Trust me, if i tried to befriend some of you people on this forum, it would not work. You people would stop talking to me after 1-2 weeks just like everyone done to me for 16 years. Its pointless to keep trying when i know the resualts already. Its waste of time and energy.