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I feel stupid for asking God for something I don’t think I need or am ready for, now what?

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by Joslyn04, Jul 11, 2019.

  1. Joslyn04

    Joslyn04 New Member

    2
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    Single
    Please keep in mind I’m only 15 so I know I’m still sort of naive and have more growing to do. Now the thing that i want is... someone who will be with me like an S/O, but I don’t want to say boyfriend or “relationship” because labels kind of make me feel uncomfortable. I’m not the greatest with affection and all of that. Now for the purpose of this message I’m just gonna say boyfriend to make things easier to understand. I just wish someone could be by my side and treat me like a lady. We could act like friends but we are in a relationship because like I mentioned earlier I’m not good with affection or romance, it’s weird to me. It just seems like every single boy I've liked were either too wimpy to say anything, so I said something first and still nothing happened, or the guys I like never like me back. While I am very sporty and energetic I feel like they treat me like I am a boy, or they ignore me. Even though I support equality between genders I still wish they were a little more gentle. No guy ever seems to like me and if they do they are too intimidated to say something. I know that I’m young and relationships is the last thing I need, I really want to focus on loving and caring for myself because I’ve been struggling with that lately. Most likely a relationship wouldn’t last, and I’m scared of commitment. Especially marriage, because then I’d feel like my freedom was being taken away from me. That’s why I said we could be in a relationship but we just act like friends, because something serious right now sounds like too much. Even if I do like someone, i don’t want to touch them one bit, not even a tap. I just don’t know what i want, not even what I need. So can someone maybe explain to me what I feel? If you’ve gone through the same thing or not and what should I do?
     
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  2. eleos1954

    eleos1954 God is Love Supporter

    +1,551
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    Nothing wrong with just being friends ... in fact .... if becoming friends first before marriage really prepares the two for marriage.

    Just be you .... things will progress from there ;o)

    God Bless.

    Added: Perhaps just pray for the Lord to help you to become the person He wants you to be. ;o)
     
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2019
  3. tryphena rose

    tryphena rose Daughter of the Most High

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    I commend you Joslyn for being so young and reaching out here on CF. That's a great step, to seek counsel among other believers! My advice to you is not to get too caught up in relationships or too seek affirmation from a boy. Something you have to understand is that people will always fail us in this life and whatever void we may feel inside, if we rest those expectations upon people, expectations which only God can fulfill, then we've already set ourselves up for failure. Have patience and trust in the Lord. Pray that your will in this life would align with His Holy and Perfect Will. Even if the idea of marriage intimidates you now, pray that the Lord would prepare your heart for marriage if that is His Will for your life. Also pray for a Godly husband and/or your future husband. You may currently feel like marriage would take away your freedom and keep you in bondage, but I can assure you, it's an even bigger bondage and weight to carry having sex outside of marriage and being caught in such relationships. It only brings pain and misery. I can say this with confidence as I know from first hand experience.

    I'm going to leave you my testimony, because certain elements of it I think may help give you some clarity. And while I wasn't seeking a relationship at the time, God has blessed me so abundantly it brings me to tears. I pray you always seek the Lord because His Ways are so good!

    From broken athiest to a New Creation in Christ Jesus!
     
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  4. nChrist

    nChrist AKA: Tom - Saved By Grace Through Faith Supporter

    +14,790
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    You are young and have plenty of time to do what you want to, including social activities. Don't let anyone rush you into anything, especially a relationship you're not comfortable with. I'm 70, but I haven't forgotten what it's like to be 15. I suggest social activities at your church with young adults in your age group. I don't know how you feel about supervision from older people, but I recommend it. In the meantime, I will pray for you.
     
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  5. Unofficial Reverand Alex

    Unofficial Reverand Alex Look up Jason Evert on YouTube; he changed my life Supporter

    +1,650
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    Catholic
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    I second this!:oldthumbsup:

    By the sounds of it, you're looking more for an emotional connection than anything else; not surprising, considering your age. It wasn't long ago when I was 15, and I know that was rough for me. Perhaps you don't have a good connection with anyone in your family? Try fostering these connections you already have, and give it all to God, constantly thanking Him & asking for His guidance; know that your prayers are united with mine, and those of all the Christians who read your post.:crosseo:

    A relationship that's just a friendship? That's not really a bad thing, because relationships should start as friendships, and grow from there; gives you more time to really get to know the person, you see them when they're not putting up so much of an image, and so on. Eventually, you'll want a deeper relationship; for now, it may be better that you don't want physical contact. Remember to think of everything as a gift from God, as a part of His infinite mercy, and you'll see things in a glorious new light.

    I feel like I'm throwing a lot at you, a lot of things to ponder; please do yourself this favor, and watch some talks or read some articles by Jason Evert. He has a lot of material on YouTube, and on his website, Chastity Project. His wife also has a lot of material; Crystallina Evert is her name. She's got a different background than what you're going through, but sometimes it helps to get a woman's perspective, I suppose.

    God has given you an incredible blessing; you realize you're not in a good state to have answers right away! And He's given you the humility to come ask for advice! Thank Him, right now!:pray:

    I had rough teenage years, and I'm almost 21 now. Looking back, so much of the things I thought were so drastic really didn't matter; so much of what I thought needed to be done now really didn't need done at all--or at least for another few years. Keep turning to God, remember to have joy in these trials (James 1), and peace out!

    May God bless us all, especially the lost & confused; have peace & pray!:pray:
     
  6. tryphena rose

    tryphena rose Daughter of the Most High

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    Wonderful advice brother! It's really awesome to see so many young people, as I myself am also 24! It can be easy to lose hope seeing the current state of our generation...but God is showing me there's so much hope that rests in Him! :clap: Glory to the Father!
     
  7. Oscarr

    Oscarr Senior Veteran Supporter

    +6,469
    New Zealand
    Pentecostal
    Married
    The Scripture related to asking God for things is Philippians 4:6-7):
    "Be anxious for nothing, but by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God, and the peace of God that passes all understanding will keep your hearts and minds in Christ."

    There is no sense of limitation in this. The Scripture also says that if we delight ourselves in the Lord, He will give us the desires of our hearts.

    So, if in doubt about something you either need or want, the best thing to do is to discuss it with God. The Scripture doesn't promise that you will get your request instantly granted, but it does promise that you will receive the peace of God concerning what you are asking for, and are therefore no longer anxious about it, and God is able to sort things out in His time, while you wait on Him with faith and patience.
     
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  8. Joined2krist

    Joined2krist Well-Known Member

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    At 15, you have your whole life ahead of you, you don't need a boyfriend, what you need is to build Christian friendships with teens your age. Focus on learning to build relationships with Christian boys and girls, participate in youth camp programmes for Christian teens, team building activities and youth programmes that help you stay focussed and grow your social skills. God bless
     
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  9. LoricaLady

    LoricaLady YHWH's Supporter

    +5,271
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    It might help to see the condition of people in the world overall. Our Messiah told us that "few" would take the straight and narrow path to Heaven. Let's say there is a room of 100 people and you are asked to call a "few" out. How many would that be?

    Also He said that there is demon seed in the world. So, really, you don't want to be getting involved with people who are not of the "few." Who are they? Only the Father can lead you to them. He knows all. We, of course, do not. How to hear from Him? Get really close to Him. That is what He wants. He wants you to be seeking Him first. Then He will take care of your relationships.

    Seek the Lord. Let that be your focus.
     
  10. Andrew77

    Andrew77 The walking accident Supporter

    +1,207
    United States
    Non-Denom
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    Everyone, boy or girl, wants to be wanted. Everyone, wants to know someone out there cares at all that you exist.

    This is normal.

    However, I would say that you should be careful trying to have that desire met by a boy, at your age. It is simply too early for you, and it is most certainly too early for a boy to be ready for that kind of a relationship. Most guys are only ready for this, at age 25 to 30.

    You meet a guy younger than that, and you need to assume from the start, that he is not ready for this.

    In the mean time, find yourself other girl friends that you can hang out with, and do things together. Perhaps something you can do at your church, or a charity, or some other club or association.

    But when you get to the point that you actually want a husband, you need to search for a man of maturity and morals, over a man your age. Because the fact is, in our culture most men your own age, are going to be less mature than you. It just is how it is.
     
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  11. Albion

    Albion Facilitator

    +19,885
    Anglican
    Married
    Hi, Joslyn. The title seems to be about praying for this while the post itself seems to be about the wisdom of wanting a relationship of some sort. My reply is about the first of these.

    We are told in Scripture to feel free to pray to the Father for pretty much whatever we want. Whether he grants it or not is something else.

    So that suggests that you should approach Him with your feelings because he may know that it is too soon or instead send you someone. In fact, all sorts of possibilities are there, but He knows what is right and you can certainly ask without being an expert on all of this.
     
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