I pray that I can love him more. I am having a hard time liking him. I wish I had God's love for him. Right now there are so many things that I do that gets on his nerves that I feel he doesn't like me or the way I am.
He makes comments about me everyday about how I come short, what I've done wrong and compares me to other people.
I used to be able to bounce back, especially in public but recently we went out with a group and I found myself easily chatting with those around me but could only answer his banter with short yes, no and when he made a joke could only half heartedly laugh.
I sometimes don't even want to try talking to him. Just say nothing is easier - he won't be upset with what I say or get upset if he thinks that I am not communicating clearly.
On his defense, I am super clumsy, highly distracted... even when he's talking to me I get distracted and don't pay attention. I don't know if it's stress related. Even driving today I caught myself going into my thoughts and not focusing on driving - then I had to pull my thoughts back to driving.
Yes. It is stress-related, and you need to stop even considering the possibility that you are even partly at fault. Maybe you should consider giving him a hard whack, when he's sitting peacefully in his armchair or trussed up in bed ! Women have left it so late they ended up killing their husband when he was drunk and flaked out.
My sister's mother-in-law, dear, sweet Lillian of precious memory, was an absolute angel, and she put up with her scapegrace husband for many years. One day, however, she completely 'lost it', and thumped him with her fist, good and proper around the head, while he was sitting in his armchair. He was always as good as gold after that. I don't want to be blasphemous, but God sometimes works in mysterious ways !
Sometimes people will push, push, push you, as if to find out if there is a limit to your tolerance. And it's as if they find it reassuring when you set them straight, as if they need you to set them boundaries. Sometimes it would only need the victim to bawl their persecutor out at the top of their voice. Preferably, in the presence of a large company, such as most of the congregation, outside the church door, I would say, in your case.
In the army, I once bawled out a big lout outside the Battery Office, and when I went downstairs, the lads were in hysterics, and more so when I told them who it was I was bawling out, as he was very unpopular. And he actually cringed at the time.
It was pretty funny, I suppose, but I never did get the hang of army discipline, so I liked to keep the other lads amused. Putting up a horse-race tip on the battery notice board, for example: 'Perspective 1 pt e.w.' was the chosen selection.
