How many kids do you want and in what configuration?

[WileyCoyote]

I want ten kids. One for every month of the year.

No, seriously. It really doesn't matter to me. If my future wife and I have two, great. If we have ten, that's great too. No matter what the amount, I'll be in a good financial position to support them all. (Even the wifey)

 

[Inkachu]

So.

Wiley.

When we gettin' hitched again?

 

[mina]

There is no simple answer for me. I DO worry about this b/c well it means a lot to me. And I know a woman at my church who had a child later and while God can and does protect, it doesn't change the fact that she has a down syndrome child and that it's a very clear risk for older pregnancies. If I didn't get married by 37 or later, i probably wouldn't have children b/c it would break my heart and make me feel extremely guilty if i put one of them at risk for a disability. I'm not interested in adopting as a single person. I've put a lot of thought into this and i deeply want children so the possibility of not having them is a very disturbing one for me. I was the youngest child of older parents and i've lived that and there are some aspects of that I would not want to experience as a parent or have my child go through. Anyways, just trying to explain my view. I would not be ok, with NOT having children, and since i'm 28 now, it DOES limit my time span to have them, so it IS a concern to me. Nobody else may feel that way, but it's an important t hing to me.

 

[ido]

There is no simple answer for me. I DO worry about this b/c well it means a lot to me. And I know a woman at my church who had a child later and while God can and does protect, it doesn't change the fact that she has a down syndrome child and that it's a very clear risk for older pregnancies. If I didn't get married by 37 or later, i probably wouldn't have children b/c it would break my heart and make me feel extremely guilty if i put one of them at risk for a disability. I'm not interested in adopting as a single person. I've put a lot of thought into this and i deeply want children so the possibility of not having them is a very disturbing one for me. I was the youngest child of older parents and i've lived that and there are some aspects of that I would not want to experience as a parent or have my child go through. Anyways, just trying to explain my view. I would not be ok, with NOT having children, and since i'm 28 now, it DOES limit my time span to have them, so it IS a concern to me. Nobody else may feel that way, but it's an important t hing to me.

I hope this doesn't come across as sounding trite, since I am a parent - but I actually understand exactly how you feel.

 

[mina]

no, it's nice to know that someone understands and doesn't think i'm just being selfish (it has to be MY WAY!!!! b/c i don't feel that way at all). I often feel misunderstood about this issue. It's not like i'm running out and dating every guy i come across so i can find a guy to have a baby with. I really respect men and love and enjoy them for them. I'm trying to wait on God's leading and to trust in Him. I honestly believe that He created me with these desires and it's hard to see yourself getting older and older and no closer to the things you feel He's placed in you to want.

 

[ido]

no, it's nice to know that someone understands and doesn't think i'm just being selfish (it has to be MY WAY!!!! b/c i don't feel that way at all). I often feel misunderstood about this issue. It's not like i'm running out and dating every guy i come across so i can find a guy to have a baby with. I really respect men and love and enjoy them for them. I'm trying to wait on God's leading and to trust in Him. I honestly believe that He created me with these desires and it's hard to see yourself getting older and older and no closer to the things you feel He's placed in you to want.

*nods* It's an awful ache to have inside when it's what you want more than anything.

I think that is what hurts so much about being divorced for me. I actually turned down a marriage proposal b/c I didn't feel like marrying that guy was God's will in my life. I waited for who I thought was the right one to get married and have my kids. It devestated me that he turned out to be the person he is. As badly as I wanted kids, I didn't want them to have to grow up on these terms.

 

[dluvs2trvl]

no, it's nice to know that someone understands and doesn't think i'm just being selfish (it has to be MY WAY!!!! b/c i don't feel that way at all). I often feel misunderstood about this issue. It's not like i'm running out and dating every guy i come across so i can find a guy to have a baby with. I really respect men and love and enjoy them for them. I'm trying to wait on God's leading and to trust in Him. I honestly believe that He created me with these desires and it's hard to see yourself getting older and older and no closer to the things you feel He's placed in you to want.

I totally get what you mean Mina...

This was something I had to face when I was 32 and the ability to have biological children was taken away from me due to health reasons.

I struggled with wondering why God didn't allow me to get married and have children if He knew that down the road I would be facing what I had to face and would no longer have the option to have my own children.

I don't understand it even today - after 8 years. I still struggle with reconciling the desires of my heart with the reality of my life. I have to consciously choose to trust the Lord even when it hurts and doesn't make sense to me.

I do understand your struggle and your questions...I just wish I had an answer

 

[WileyCoyote]

So.

Wiley.

When we gettin' hitched again?

Me thinks Vicky has 'jungle fever'.

 

[ido]

Me thinks Vicky has 'jungle fever'.

That's the funniest thing I've read all day.

 

[deliciousBass]

no, it's nice to know that someone understands and doesn't think i'm just being selfish (it has to be MY WAY!!!! b/c i don't feel that way at all). I often feel misunderstood about this issue. It's not like i'm running out and dating every guy i come across so i can find a guy to have a baby with. I really respect men and love and enjoy them for them. I'm trying to wait on God's leading and to trust in Him. I honestly believe that He created me with these desires and it's hard to see yourself getting older and older and no closer to the things you feel He's placed in you to want.

I understand Mina, you're not getting any younger and you love children and want some and right now there isn't much light at the end of the tunnel. And people insist on telling you that God will provide, that he will find somebody for you and that you will have children. BUT. Those are just words... you're still single and childless... and those words don't change your situation.

I felt similar after I got my divorce.. not about children, but relationships in general. I loved my ex but people always insisted and still to this day insist that IF THAT HAPPENED TO YOU IT'S CUZ GOD HAS BETTER PLANS FOR YOU. That seems to be the default reason. Or if you never have kids IT'S CUZ THAT'S WHAT GOD HAD PLANNED FOR YOU. And I'm like uhhh.. sure! Doesn't change the fact that I had to go through an extremely painful experience and lets face it, you don't know the future. You don't know if you will find somebody or have kids... life isn't fair.

All we can do is hope... and pray.

So yeah, I appreciate it when people try to cheer you up and be all positive. I expect it.. but sometimes.. you just want to say, let me wallow please. I'm allowed to be sad because this is a sad situation.

 

[mina]

yeah, I got into teaching to help children, b/c i love them and want to be an advocate for them. But it's so painful to watch children whose parents are quite frank with the news that they never wanted them in the first place, who treat them with as littlel dignity as possible. I honestly don't believe that God has it planned for people who want children to NOT have them. I think satan does a good job of messing things up on earth and throwing obstacles in our way that are out of our control. God absolutely has the power to stop that and make things happen really good for His children, but for whatever reason in His soverignty- He does not always. But to say it's part of His plan for your life when He has placed certian desires in a person is a lie.
And i don't think it's wallowing to admit you struggle with something and desire more than just a pat Sunday school kind of answer. I don't know, sometimes you just try to be realistic and feel understood.

 

[die2live]

If I get married, I think I want seven kids. Four biological and three adopted. I don't care what gender goes where, but I do want both boys and girls. I'll have my bio kids first and when the oldest is nine or ten, I'll adopt a child between the ages of seven and ten. Then in a couple of years, I'll adopt another one in the same age range. Another couple of years after that, I'll complete my family with a final adopted child, maybe eleven or twelve years old.

Assuming all goes as planned. I don't want huge age gaps (I have four siblings and I love being close in age to them), and I don't want any of the adopted children to be the eldest; I think it would be hard adjustment to not only have a huge family, but to be the oldest brother or sister. It would just be too much pressure. Ideally, I would like to adopt before having any biological kids, to let them adjust before having a bunch of little brothers and sisters. But that would create a huge age gap. My youngest adopted child would be at least eight before my oldest bio kid was born. Plus, that would create a division between bio and adopted children and I don't want either of them to think that they are any different from each other just because of their genetics.

But of course, there's a lot to consider. I'll be doing a ton more research and preparation (as will my future husband) before this is for sure.

And I'm flexible. If my husband only wants three kids, fine. If he wants ten, fine. As long as we adopt at least one, I'm cool with it.

And if I don't get married, I obviously won't be having any bio kids. In that case, I'll adopt one or two, maybe three if things go extraordinarily well.

 

[IDDQD]

I want 2 + 5 X 2 - 14 kids in no particular order.

 

[GQ Chris]

I want 2 + 5 X 2 - 14 kids in no particular order.

14 kids. Man that's a lot of Sex.

 

[IDDQD]

14 kids. Man that's a lot of Sex.

That's 0, actually.

2 + 5 = 7

7 X 2 = 14

14 - 14 = 0

Once again, I fail in conveying my sarcasm. )':

 

[GQ Chris]

sorry I didn't bother to work that out. Did enough of that in school.

 

[Tamara224]

I want a quiverfull of kids. At least one boy and one girl. And I want them all to be very close in age (none of this 10 years apart stuff).

Not that I actually have much say in the matter, lol. I guess my ideal would be four - two boys and two girls.

 

[deliciousBass]

That's 0, actually.

2 + 5 = 7

7 X 2 = 14

14 - 14 = 0

Once again, I fail in conveying my sarcasm. )':

no, it's -2. In the order of operations, you do multiplication first.

2 + 5 X 2 - 14

so it would really be 2+(5x2) -14

which equals 2+(10)-14. You then go from left to right...

12-14=-2.

So basically, you want to eat 2 children.

 

[IDDQD]

no, it's -2. In the order of operations, you do multiplication first.

2 + 5 X 2 - 14

so it would really be 2+(5x2) -14

which equals 2+(10)-14. You then go from left to right...

12-14=-2.

So basically, you want to eat 2 children.

Darn.

Figured me out. D:

Now I'm gonna have to wait another 26 years before I can get me some babyback ribs without the authorities coming after me. )':

 

[Tamara224]

no, it's -2. In the order of operations, you do multiplication first.

2 + 5 X 2 - 14

so it would really be 2+(5x2) -14

which equals 2+(10)-14. You then go from left to right...

12-14=-2.

So basically, you want to eat 2 children.

I do remember math! I thought it was -2 at first, but then I saw he said it was 0 and I was like "well, maybe I forgot how to do math...maybe you only multiply first if it's in parentheses."

But I was right! I'm so glad. Wouldn't want to ruin a perfect record.