We have to decide who and what we are going to believe :
Christianity, The Holy Scriptures, The Holy Church Father Writings, The Councils Of The Church, The Lord Jesus Christ, The Nicene Creed.
or
Atheism, occultism, Worldly Ecumenism, Moral Relativism, Macroevolution, Heliocentrism, Space Aliens etc.
You lack the capacity to understand the contradictions of your faith as it relates to your life. That's why people have recommended you talk to your priest. I concur.
Discussing it here is not intended to convince anyone, but actually entrench your position.
I will hand you the nails to crucify yourself. Just know that it does not count to provoke your own martyrdom.
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