Fireplace and Fellowship

[One day at a time]

I want to go to service every week and hang out with my youth group and i do invite her along but shes always skeptic about how could God do all these things

she enjoys hanging out with the group tho

Well, I'm glad that she wants to go to group with you...that is important. But you also want to be careful that she doesn't want to come to Christ just because you are and that she truly wants what God has to offer her.

 

[Starpuppy]

I just think that it usually ends up being something that is going to come between you. That you want to change her to be like you and I would say that most people don't want that pressure or think that "who made you judge" kind of attitude.
Now that isn't always the case. There is always the exception that she will see the difference in you and wants to come to know Christ as you have.

But overall....I think that it causes more strife than not. Just my observations.

It's hard enough with two Christians to have a godly relationship so I can imagine it would be harder being totally different.

I mean everyone should change for the better is it not? If she feels that i am forcing her and its not her..she should always speak up and not sulk and throw tempers

 

[One day at a time]

Hey StarryEyes!

 

[sootylashes]

I just think that it usually ends up being something that is going to come between you. That you want to change her to be like you and I would say that most people don't want that pressure or think that "who made you judge" kind of attitude.
Now that isn't always the case. There is always the exception that she will see the difference in you and wants to come to know Christ as you have.

But overall....I think that it causes more strife than not. Just my observations.

It's hard enough with two Christians to have a godly relationship so I can imagine it would be harder being totally different.

Hear hear!

I am the mild tempered person in the relationship, if someone got the last piece of chicken during dinner, she would silently flare, i would just shrug and be thankful that i have other things to eat

When people are late, she is angry but i just feel thankful for more time to look around while waiting

She says that i don't understand her but its so tiring having a pessimistic person

I want to go back to school or maybe part time work/study but she wants to settle down and have a family..doesn't have any aim in life

Me thinks you need to pray more about this relationship, Star!

HIE STARRYEYES!

 

[One day at a time]

I am the mild tempered person in the relationship, if someone got the last piece of chicken during dinner, she would silently flare, i would just shrug and be thankful that i have other things to eat

When people are late, she is angry but i just feel thankful for more time to look around while waiting

She says that i don't understand her but its so tiring having a pessimistic person

I want to go back to school or maybe part time work/study but she wants to settle down and have a family..doesn't have any aim in life

I can tell you this from experience.....marriage is not going to change her from being pessimistic! If you are already feeling these things during your dating...they magnify when you get married!

 

[Starpuppy]

Hello Sister StarryEyes

 

[StarryEyes]

hey one day at a time, hey sooty!!

Don't mean to interrupt.. have a nice night! God bless you!

 

[StarryEyes]

Hello Sister StarryEyes

hey Starpuppy!

 

[One day at a time]

We should change for the better....all of us should strive to be more Christlike daily. And yes, while you should have a good communication between you but if she is going to be that way all the time....I don't think that is a healthy relationship.

It kind of sounds like everything needs to be her way and if it's not then she gets mad. Again, I don't know her, you do....but if she is that way....honest and truly it will not get better with marriage. Generally it will get worse and then you will be fighting and struggling with it all the time.

 

[Starpuppy]

I can tell you this from experience.....marriage is not going to change her from being pessimistic! If you are already feeling these things during your dating...they magnify when you get married!

what do i do? Its been 4 years and sometimes shes good and i feel that shes changed

but at times shes stressed and take it out on me..i become so drained but to leave her, i feel like i am a evil guy

is it wrong to bring this lost sheep to the Kingdom?

 

[sootylashes]

hey one day at a time, hey sooty!!

Don't mean to interrupt.. have a nice night! God bless you!

You aren't interrupting!

 

[One day at a time]

You're not interrupting Starry! Come join the conversation!

 

[sootylashes]

We should change for the better....all of us should strive to be more Christlike daily. And yes, while you should have a good communication between you but if she is going to be that way all the time....I don't think that is a healthy relationship.

It kind of sounds like everything needs to be her way and if it's not then she gets mad. Again, I don't know her, you do....but if she is that way....honest and truly it will not get better with marriage. Generally it will get worse and then you will be fighting and struggling with it all the time.

You're such a wise lady, Odaat!

 

[Starpuppy]

You're not interrupting Starry! Come join the conversation!

yeah..join in Sister StarryEyes

 

[StarryEyes]

Alrighty.... if you say so...

I'm think I'm caught up with the convo..

 

[One day at a time]

what do i do? Its been 4 years and sometimes shes good and i feel that shes changed

but at times shes stressed and take it out on me..i become so drained but to leave her, i feel like i am a evil guy

is it wrong to bring this lost sheep to the Kingdom?

It is not wrong to bring this lost sheep to the Kingdom. My only concern is that you end up in a marriage or relationship that isn't what God really wants for you.

My brother got into a relationship like this and he knew she wasn't the right one for him but he didn't want to be the "bad" guy and break up with her for fear of hurting her......Now all these years later....they are still married but everything is her way or no way....I would say his life is a miserable mess but he is resigned to it. Their two kids are so spoiled and bratty because again....it has to be done her way. He never brought her closer to God....but she definitely brought him down.

 

[StarryEyes]

yeah..join in Sister StarryEyes

What a cute puppy.. is that your's?

 

[sootylashes]

It is not wrong to bring this lost sheep to the Kingdom. My only concern is that you end up in a marriage or relationship that isn't what God really wants for you.

My brother got into a relationship like this and he knew she wasn't the right one for him but he didn't want to be the "bad" guy and break up with her for fear of hurting her......Now all these years later....they are still married but everything is her way or no way....I would say his life is a miserable mess but he is resigned to it. Their two kids are so spoiled and bratty because again....it has to be done her way. He never brought her closer to God....but she definitely brought him down.

That sounds awful

 

[StarryEyes]

My brother got into a relationship like this and he knew she wasn't the right one for him but he didn't want to be the "bad" guy and break up with her for fear of hurting her......

Been there, done that.. we didn't get married (Thank GOD!!) but our relationship was not healthy at all and I put off breaking up with him because I was afraid to be alone. I didn't want to be 'alone'!!! So I stayed with him for months longer and hurt more and more and more and more and I finally did get out of the relationship. NEVER want to go my own way like that EVER again! God's way is ALWAYS the best way.. including in relationships!

You don't have to get married to lead someone to Christ! Let the Holy Spirit work through you and through her..

 

[One day at a time]

You're such a wise lady, Odaat!

Thank you Sooty.....I would say it's because I'm old and have been around for awhile!! Plus between my siblings and then having two married daughters of my own....I have seen a lot!

My daughters are 24 and 22....and I think both of them did not seek God as they should have when they decided to get married. As a matter of fact, our one daughter said she was going to do it whether she has our blessing or not, so we let her get married. And now 2 1/2 years later...if you were to ask her if she made the right choice, she would probably say no!