Fireplace and Fellowship

[Starpuppy]

I would say that it is not a good marriage. As a matter of fact they live with us and we have had to step in on several fights and misunderstandings and try and teach them how to have a marriage. Now the comment is generally "Well...not every marriage can be like yours!" And I know that our marriage is different....but God is in our marriage and we let Him have control of it as well as controlling ourselves! That is a whole other lesson!!

you sound so blessed and happy in the marriage :3

 

[sootylashes]

Starpuppy.. my ex used to tell me I'd never be happy without him. All I have to say is hahahahHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHhahahahhahaha he was SOOOOO wrong!

 

[Starpuppy]

So Star can you see what your life can be without her? Your ability to serve God and go and do what He wants, when He wants. Because if you are with her is that going to be a possibility?

Shes in a tough time in a job but is it right to leave her now when she needs it the most?

but people would say that if not now..then when? there will always be a bad time

 

[StarryEyes]

Shes in a tough time in a job but is it right to leave her now when she needs it the most?

but people would say that if not now..then when? there will always be a bad time

Breakups are never fun. My ex had to literally paint a smile on his face the day after we broke up.

 

[Starpuppy]

So Star can you see what your life can be without her? Your ability to serve God and go and do what He wants, when He wants. Because if you are with her is that going to be a possibility?

I wanted to much to go SOT(School of Theology) and learn more about the Lord and go back to school to study

I think i would have a hard time convincing her and i would be really unhappy..i don't want to settle down yet..at least when shes so emotionally enraged

 

[StarryEyes]

Good advice StarryEyes! You know what I'm talking about because you have lived it!

Yes I have.. it was really difficult. We weren't right for each other.. I don't mean to sound like things are so much easier now.. I still think about the way things were, miss parts of it and am so glad to be away from other parts, and have regrets that I gave him some things that were only meant for my future husband. That has been really difficult to deal with.

 

[Starpuppy]

Breakups are never fun. My ex had to literally paint a smile on his face the day after we broke up.

I tried breaking up with her once, she said that i wasted her youth and she felt used because we been so intimate(no, we did not have sex) and i just made used of her feelings..but that was before i knew the Lord. Now i just want to grow up and become better

 

[StarryEyes]

I wanted to much to go SOT(School of Theology) and learn more about the Lord and go back to school to study

I think i would have a hard time convincing her and i would be really unhappy..i don't want to settle down yet..at least when shes so emotionally enraged

has she been like that for the past 4 yrs?

 

[sootylashes]

Yes I have.. it was really difficult. We weren't right for each other.. I don't mean to sound like things are so much easier now.. I still think about the way things were, miss parts of it and am so glad to be away from other parts, and have regrets that I gave him some things that were only meant for my future husband. That has been really difficult to deal with.

My goodness, your story sounds so like mine! It sounds really alike!

Btw, didja get my other reply about the dating time prior to marriage?

 

[StarryEyes]

I tried breaking up with her once, she said that i wasted her youth and she felt used because we been so intimate(no, we did not have sex) and i just made used of her feelings..but that was before i knew the Lord. Now i just want to grow up and become better

Yep been there, I felt and still do feel horrible for those reasons... but we can learn from them and we can use them to let God grow us up into the likeness of His Son.. and to teach/warn others about our experiences also so that hopefully even if just a handful.. they won't stray and disobeyed the Lord as we have. It is difficult.. this isn't going to be easy.. neither is staying with her!!!

 

[StarryEyes]

Btw, didja get my other reply about the dating time prior to marriage?

I don't remember seeing that.. will you please repost it?? Sorry!

 

[Starpuppy]

has she been like that for the past 4 yrs?

shes always been easily hot tempered and at times ok, caring and sweet..ready to talk

I always get the brunt when shes stressed at work...i feel that other than her work..thes nothing we can talk much

 

[Starpuppy]

Yep been there, I felt and still do feel horrible for those reasons... but we can learn from them and we can use them to let God grow us up into the likeness of His Son.. and to teach/warn others about our experiences also so that hopefully even if just a handful.. they won't stray and disobeyed the Lord as we have. It is difficult.. this isn't going to be easy.. neither is staying with her!!!

I feel horrible inside when she uses the intimate thing against me, we been sexually intimate but i thought at that time that maybe it was what could make her more assured and less paranoid and more caring knowing that i was loyal and faithful to her

 

[sootylashes]

For the most part I agree with you, but I know of couples who didn't date for very long yet are happily married until now... and I've also heard of couples who dated for 9 years, but were only married for two weeks prior to divorce. It's sad. I think it really depends on the couple, though for the most part I'd go with dating for a longer period.

Here! (Taken from post #948)

 

[StarryEyes]

shes always been easily hot tempered and at times ok, caring and sweet..ready to talk

I always get the brunt when shes stressed at work...i feel that other than her work..thes nothing we can talk much

And you think marriage would be the answer to that? How come?

 

[Starpuppy]

And you think marriage would be the answer to that? How come?

maybe we would spend more time together and find stuff to do? and maybe she would become more caring?

 

[sootylashes]

maybe we would spend more time together and find stuff to do? and maybe she would become more caring?

IMO, that's a recipe for failure.

 

[sootylashes]

And you think marriage would be the answer to that? How come?

Sorry to go OT for a bit... I've responded to your request for the repost

 

[StarryEyes]

I feel horrible inside when she uses the intimate thing against me, we been sexually intimate but i thought at that time that maybe it was what could make her more assured and less paranoid and more caring knowing that i was loyal and faithful to her

That is sex used under the wrong circumstances. Sex is a beautiful gift from God.. when it's done under the circumstances He created it for! He is the Author of Life.. He doesn't just have principles for us to give us rules.. the principles are there to protect us! I had to learn that the hard way too (not with sex but other areas).. God loves us and He doesn't give us some set of rules to dictate us! They are always in our best interest.. He is always trustworthy even when we don't understand..

 

[StarryEyes]

Here! (Taken from post #948)

Yeah.. I had this nagging feeling inside when I typed that out.. sorry.. thank you for adding that!