Fireplace and Fellowship

[sootylashes]

Been there, done that.. we didn't get married (Thank GOD!!) but our relationship was not healthy at all and I put off breaking up with him because I was afraid to be alone. I didn't want to be 'alone'!!! So I stayed with him for months longer and hurt more and more and more and more and I finally did get out of the relationship. NEVER want to go my own way like that EVER again! God's way is ALWAYS the best way.. including in relationships!

You don't have to get married to lead someone to Christ! Let the Holy Spirit work through you and through her..

I agree with you completely, Starry!

 

[StarryEyes]

Thank you Sooty.....I would say it's because I'm old and have been around for awhile!! Plus between my siblings and then having two married daughters of my own....I have seen a lot!

My daughters are 24 and 22....and I think both of them did not seek God as they should have when they decided to get married. As a matter of fact, our one daughter said she was going to do it whether she has our blessing or not, so we let her get married. And now 2 1/2 years later...if you were to ask her if she made the right choice, she would probably say no!

Yeah you REALLY have to give it time and get to know someone. I struggle with rushing into things big time, because I just want to experience romantic love and marriage and starting a family and I just really struggle with taking things slow, but it's a must.

 

[Starpuppy]

It is not wrong to bring this lost sheep to the Kingdom. My only concern is that you end up in a marriage or relationship that isn't what God really wants for you.

My brother got into a relationship like this and he knew she wasn't the right one for him but he didn't want to be the "bad" guy and break up with her for fear of hurting her......Now all these years later....they are still married but everything is her way or no way....I would say his life is a miserable mess but he is resigned to it. Their two kids are so spoiled and bratty because again....it has to be done her way. He never brought her closer to God....but she definitely brought him down.

How do i know what God wants for me? I am so afraid that i might not find another person who care for me

I really feel for your brother..

 

[sootylashes]

Thank you Sooty.....I would say it's because I'm old and have been around for awhile!! Plus between my siblings and then having two married daughters of my own....I have seen a lot!

My daughters are 24 and 22....and I think both of them did not seek God as they should have when they decided to get married. As a matter of fact, our one daughter said she was going to do it whether she has our blessing or not, so we let her get married. And now 2 1/2 years later...if you were to ask her if she made the right choice, she would probably say no!

I sought God when I was engaged to my ex-fiance... and after much prayer and counsel from my parents and Christian leaders in my church, I decided to not marry him. And I broke up with him. I'm glad I did, because it's the right thing to do in my case.

 

[One day at a time]

I hope that you don't think that we are ganging up on you Star. Because I'm truly not.....it's concern and experience and would hate to see the struggle of what you going through ....be your life

 

[Starpuppy]

What a cute puppy.. is that your's?

nope but i love dogs

 

[StarryEyes]

How do i know what God wants for me? I am so afraid that i might not find another person who care for me

Talk to Him! Spend time with Him in His Word.. check out this video.. and wait on His timing. We who are single don't know if we're ever going to married... and if we don't get married, it's going to be ok Just keep growing and seeking the Lord.. HE is your source of joy and peace and love..

YouTube - Eric Ludy Talks about What a Godly Man Should Be

 

[sootylashes]

Yeah you REALLY have to give it time and get to know someone. I struggle with rushing into things big time, because I just want to experience romantic love and marriage and starting a family and I just really struggle with taking things slow, but it's a must.

For the most part I agree with you, but I know of couples who didn't date for very long yet are happily married until now... and I've also heard of couples who dated for 9 years, but were only married for two weeks prior to divorce. It's sad. I think it really depends on the couple, though for the most part I'd go with dating for a longer period.

 

[Starpuppy]

Been there, done that.. we didn't get married (Thank GOD!!) but our relationship was not healthy at all and I put off breaking up with him because I was afraid to be alone. I didn't want to be 'alone'!!! So I stayed with him for months longer and hurt more and more and more and more and I finally did get out of the relationship. NEVER want to go my own way like that EVER again! God's way is ALWAYS the best way.. including in relationships!

You don't have to get married to lead someone to Christ! Let the Holy Spirit work through you and through her..

so what do i do? If i leave, she will never find happiness..If i stay, i am miserable

 

[One day at a time]

How do i know what God wants for me? I am so afraid that i might not find another person who care for me

I really feel for your brother..

That is the age old question....What does God want for me?.....and that you don't want to be alone or find someone who will care for you.

The best advice that I can give you is that you have to put that completely in the Lord's hands. He has your best interest at heart but you have to give it over to Him to handle. The more you try to hang onto it the worse it will be.
And in God's perfect time....he will bring the perfect one to you! I truly believe that with my whole heart.
I was not looking for my husband when God brought us together but when we started dating we both knew we were the right ones for each other. Where I was weak, he was strong and where he was weak I was strong. And I would definitely say we are truly soul mates....and even after 25 1/2 years of marriage we hate to be apart. We love to spend all of our time together.

 

[StarryEyes]

I can totally see what she's saying! It does seem like that guys (not all) try to get more than I'm willing to give and I do feel guilty when I gave in and gave them some of the things they wanted even though I wasn't ready to give it to them..

YouTube - Eric and Leslie Ludy Tell an Embarrassing Story

 

[Starpuppy]

Thank you Sooty.....I would say it's because I'm old and have been around for awhile!! Plus between my siblings and then having two married daughters of my own....I have seen a lot!

My daughters are 24 and 22....and I think both of them did not seek God as they should have when they decided to get married. As a matter of fact, our one daughter said she was going to do it whether she has our blessing or not, so we let her get married. And now 2 1/2 years later...if you were to ask her if she made the right choice, she would probably say no!

Is she in a unhappy marriage?

 

[One day at a time]

so what do i do? If i leave, she will never find happiness..If i stay, i am miserable

But maybe if you leave she will find the happiness that only God can give because the seed has been planted.
And I can't imagine you wanting to stay knowing that you will be miserable. And if you are miserable how is that going to help you, her and others know the way of God?

 

[sootylashes]

But maybe if you leave she will find the happiness that only God can give because the seed has been planted.
And I can't imagine you wanting to stay knowing that you will be miserable. And if you are miserable how is that going to help you, her and others know the way of God?

 

[Starpuppy]

I hope that you don't think that we are ganging up on you Star. Because I'm truly not.....it's concern and experience and would hate to see the struggle of what you going through ....be your life

I understand..i love the Lord and my church group..i love them and would love to help the Lord by serving in the ministry but its so tough at times

I just feel really lost at times..just like yesterday she kept saying that no one understands her and she rather just die..i felt so annoyed and i was so sick and tired of her being so pessimistic

 

[One day at a time]

Is she in a unhappy marriage?

I would say that it is not a good marriage. As a matter of fact they live with us and we have had to step in on several fights and misunderstandings and try and teach them how to have a marriage. Now the comment is generally "Well...not every marriage can be like yours!" And I know that our marriage is different....but God is in our marriage and we let Him have control of it as well as controlling ourselves! That is a whole other lesson!!

 

[StarryEyes]

nope but i love dogs

Oh yeah? I like cats

 

[One day at a time]

So Star can you see what your life can be without her? Your ability to serve God and go and do what He wants, when He wants. Because if you are with her is that going to be a possibility?

 

[StarryEyes]

Starpuppy.. my ex used to tell me I'd never be happy without him. All I have to say is hahahahHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHhahahahhahaha he was SOOOOO wrong!

 

[One day at a time]

Good advice StarryEyes! You know what I'm talking about because you have lived it!