Feeling bad about being singles?

[Hishandmaiden]

Do any of you ever feel bad that you are a single, and not being married? Does your family members or extended family members look at you with weird eyes when you are not married?

For me, during occassions when my extended family members come to visit my house, it is weird being a single. I feel that my extended family members kind of discriminate against me, because I am not married, even though I am already 29.

This may be an Asian thing.

 

[redblue22]

I don't feel bad about it at all. I don't think anyone would say anything against me being single. There have been people who express jealousy. I don't like to hear that. It is kindof like people see me and think about wanting to not be married anymore.

Another odd thing that happens is when women (married or single) think I'm some sort of catch and they want to change their situation by being with me. I don't like that. I might be easy, but come on.

I have my down days when I just feel ugly and undesirable, but generally I like me and I like being single. I do worry about what the future me will think if I never marry or have children. I sometimes wonder if there will come a day when I really only have one choice or if I'll feel desperate or something. Knowing that I could be married tomorrow if I wanted sortof feels strange. I mean, there has always been people in my life who would love to marry me.

So, yeah, I'm kindof indecisive.... if that's a word. Sometimes I just feel like I should pick someone and get on with it. I guess my big thing is that I want to be appreciated. My list ain't very long, and I'm not that deep. I could go for someone who is all into reading about being a good wife and mother and whatever.

 

[JC4Life12]

Being single is awesome.

Depending on another person or leaning on another person... that takes guts.

I'm not advocating being promiscuous.... but abstinence isn't terrible considering the alternative

 

[anewday]

Do any of you ever feel bad that you are a single, and not being married? Does your family members or extended family members look at you with weird eyes when you are not married?

For me, during occassions when my extended family members come to visit my house, it is weird being a single. I feel that my extended family members kind of discriminate against me, because I am not married, even though I am already 29.

This may be an Asia thing.

I'm sorry family members give you a hard time about being single. I experienced that once and it was not pleasant . I sometimes feel bad about being single, ie, not enjoy being single. I've come to the conclusion that its my own fault, since opportunities have passed me by. But when I think of all the blessings I have in my life, I realize I'm better off than many people who are not single, and stop feeling bad about my own singleness .

 

[JC4Life12]

I'm sorry family members give you a hard time about being single. I experienced that once and it was not pleasant . I sometimes feel bad about being single, ie, not enjoy being single. I've come to the conclusion that its my own fault, since opportunities have passed me by. But when I think of all the blessings I have in my life, I realize I'm better off than many people who are not single, and stop feeling bad about my own singleness .

Good mindset

 

[bdsmsub]

It is better to be single and wish you were with the right one than be in a relationship and wish you were single. You never know what goes on behind closed doors so don't be envious of what others appear to have. Keep waiting for what you know is right for you, not for everyone else to look at.

 

[.Mikha'el.]

Do any of you ever feel bad that you are a single, and not being married? Does your family members or extended family members look at you with weird eyes when you are not married?

For me, during occassions when my extended family members come to visit my house, it is weird being a single. I feel that my extended family members kind of discriminate against me, because I am not married, even though I am already 29.

This may be an Asia thing.

All the time. It consumes me. Almost an obsession at this point. But I've never had a relationship, and probably never will.

 

[chuck77]

Do any of you ever feel bad that you are a single, and not being married?

I really only feel bad for the many women who will not be able to be my wife, as there can only be one woman for that. Many many women want this honor. For them alone, I feel bad.

 

[Blank123]

I don't feel like anyone discriminates against me because I'm single. Or looks down on me because of it. Well... certain relatives are rather impatient for me to get married and start having babies. But there's no out-and-out judgment against me for not having found the right guy. But I live in a rather different culture than you too. Singleness is more socially acceptable for a woman my age.

My own negative feelings come from within. Its something I have to keep handing over to God to give me peace over because I do feel like I was made to love and care for someone and I want that intimate companionship so much. And being one of the last single women in my group of friends doesn't help much either

Its a struggle. but one that forces me to re-evaluate my priorities in life, change my focus, trust God to direct my paths, etc... Sometimes I look at my friends who are in unhappy relationships because they fear being single and I remember to count my blessings and that settling for someone who is not a good match would be a far worse fate than being single.

 

[Toro]

No, I personally don't care if I am with someone or not.

I used to catch a lot of grief from my sister because she wanted a niece though.

 

[mindfulness]

Do any of you ever feel bad that you are a single, and not being married? Does your family members or extended family members look at you with weird eyes when you are not married?

For me, during occassions when my extended family members come to visit my house, it is weird being a single. I feel that my extended family members kind of discriminate against me, because I am not married, even though I am already 29.

This may be an Asia thing.

Yes it bothers me and yes it gets worse the older you get. If you have any parents that value family a lot and want grandkids, oh boy, you will hear about it. It's understandable.

It's not an Asian thing, it's a human thing. lol

 

[Skyguy9999]

The only way I can feel bad is if I allow myself to feel bad, and there's really only one that I am accountable to in the end. If I'm single I'm single if I'm married I'm married, really it's not anyone's business. And in the end, that really is where it comes from is a level of selfishness (I want a grandchild, etc) and not anything to do with the person at hand.

For me, I notice usually the men are reviled and the women are pitied when it comes to the question. The worst though are the religious groups that teach pronuptualism (basically saying being single is living in sin).

But yes, it's a human thing.

 

[darkwoof]

Do any of you ever feel bad that you are a single, and not being married? Does your family members or extended family members look at you with weird eyes when you are not married?

For me, during occassions when my extended family members come to visit my house, it is weird being a single. I feel that my extended family members kind of discriminate against me, because I am not married, even though I am already 29.

This may be an Asian thing.

I'm actually back here today after a decade away from this forum because I still find myself saddened by the lack of a partner.

Like you, I'm 29 this year. My family and relatives doesn't 'discriminate' against my staying single, although they'd often asked why I haven't found someone and settled down. It's pretty discouraging when you see your peers and juniors getting married one-by-one and even having children.

So yeah, I can understand how you're feeling. For me it's a particularly hard situation to be in since I'm pretty adamant about settling down with a fellow Christian, but I'm surrounded by mostly non-Christian friends. Finding someone has been a staple in my prayers for a few years now; I'm still waiting. Oh well.

 

[brittany111]

Do any of you ever feel bad that you are a single, and not being married? Does your family members or extended family members look at you with weird eyes when you are not married?

For me, during occassions when my extended family members come to visit my house, it is weird being a single. I feel that my extended family members kind of discriminate against me, because I am not married, even though I am already 29.

This may be an Asian thing.

I will be 27 this year and I know what you mean. When my family gets together I feel like the odd ball out. Other than my youngest cousin and brother who are both 18, I am the only one still single. To make it worse I'm the oldest and my 3 of my cousins have either just had babies or will soon. (That's dad's side-on mom's side I'm the second oldest and other than my brother the only one not married with children.) I get tired of the little comments about it. Saying things like my brother making my parents grandparents. In thier eyes I should have been married and had children long ago. They don't intend to be mean but it still hurts sometimes.

However, I have resolved to wait on the man God has for me. I'd rather have a good marriage later than several bad ones. (One of my cousins is currently married to her third husband and is one of the most understanding towards me. She continues to tell me how smart I am for waiting.)

 

[darkwoof]

However, I have resolved to wait on the man God has for me. I'd rather have a good marriage later than several bad ones. (One of my cousins is currently married to her third husband and is one of the most understanding towards me. She continues to tell me how smart I am for waiting.)

I know what you mean. In my younger days I've been attached 5 times. In retrospect, while I had given it my best in each of them, the only one with whom I ever really felt connected with was the sole Christian among them. It was after my 5th failed relationship did I realize that for a relationship to work out, God has to be in the center of it. Romance to a certain extent will always be selfish in some ways, and only God-centered love can overcome it since God being Love is larger than all things, even ourselves and our desires.

Good for you! =)

(Having said that, I still find myself repeatedly falling for the wrong people and getting hurt as a result. I'm actually still reeling from one for the past couple of months. Been praying for God to guard my heart but it seems that these are things I may need to go through; I learn something new about God's greater love each time...)

 

[HighwayMan]

What is hard to accept sometimes is that you hear countless stories in the news or movies of former/current boyfriends abusing their girlfeinds or wives.....showing that even the worst people can get into relationships. People call you a very good person, and yet you get nothing. You fail worse than even the wife-beaters. You are the one who has to be alone and miserable.

 

[Humble Pie]

It's always been considered a reproach for a woman to be "left on the shelf". But don't be discouraged cos Jesus was single too.

What is hard to accept sometimes is that you hear countless stories in the news or movies of former/current boyfriends abusing their girlfeinds or wives.....showing that even the worst people can get into relationships. People call you a very good person, and yet you get nothing. You fail worse than even the wife-beaters. You are the one who has to be alone and miserable.

Cos they put on a nice guy act, then later on their true colours show! No you haven't failed!! They'll go to the fire if they don't repent.

 

[Blank123]

What is hard to accept sometimes is that you hear countless stories in the news or movies of former/current boyfriends abusing their girlfeinds or wives.....showing that even the worst people can get into relationships. People call you a very good person, and yet you get nothing. You fail worse than even the wife-beaters. You are the one who has to be alone and miserable.

would you really want to be with someone who is so damaged that they would allow, or possibly even seek out abuse in their life? Thats no kind of relationship.

 

[balesom]

It is better to be single and wish you were with the right one than be in a relationship and wish you were single. You never know what goes on behind closed doors so don't be envious of what others appear to have. Keep waiting for what you know is right for you, not for everyone else to look at.

This. A thousand times, this.

I've been in one of those relationships where I wished I were single. I really hadn't spent any time voluntarily single since I started dating years ago, and now I'm really enjoying it. So enjoy the time you have being single, because it is a good thing.

 

[darktipper]

Being single is far better. No worries about a person doing you wrong or cheating on you lol. The list goes on and on.