Potential girlfriend affirms homosexuality, what to do, am I wrong?

[SavedByGrace3]

Hard one. No choice. We cannot condone such activity. Scripture is pretty plain. There is a hell and people are going to it. I think most of us have friends and loved ones who are in a similar situation. You want to love them and care for them, and if you do you will seek to draw them back to God and holiness. Your compassion is admirable. Trust the Lord and follow Him. He said to throw down your weapons and let Him show you what He can do.

 

[returnn23]

I would suggest that anyone in a similar situation should talk to their pastor.

 

[studentinprayer]

I’m a third year college student and about six months ago I met this wonderful Christian girl who loves the Lord and loves people. She’s gone through some of the toughest health problems and some of the toughest family problems I’ve ever seen someone go through and she’s come out on top through all this. I’d like to take the next step in our relationship to care for her and ask her to be my girlfriend but there’s just one thing holding me back.

She believes that the Bible is silent when it comes to homosexuality. Now, I believe that being gay is not a sin, but engaging in sexual conduct is. However, I’m respectful and understanding of those who are part of the gay community. Growing up, she’s got some extended family members who are gay and are Christians that are married and are raising a kid. She sees no wrong in what they’re doing, which has shaped her views on this, to the point where the many ideas about the mistranslations of the “Clobber” passages are her central point of contention. I’ve tried to show her that even without considering verses, since the dawn of human beings, God specifically created each gender for the other, to be complimentary and to enjoy each other’s company/affection.

Although we differ on this matter, and what it could possibly mean down the road with potential marriage and children and how we raise them, she still wants to enter into a relationship with me, and I do as well, but this is making me think and pray about things a bit harder. She is quite literally the greatest woman I have ever met in my life. What would you do if you were in my case? Would you continue into dating or end things? Or am I completely wrong in my understanding?

I think it’s a serious red flag not necessarily as an issue itself as it’s quite academic in your circumstances but as a sign of going along to get along. Six months is not a huge amount of time to get to know someone; so that would lead me to think you need to wait and see if the issue is a sign of a bigger problem.

Of course, you also said she said this in the context of recovering from some major health/family problems and that her beliefs in this regard are really her reluctance to condemn an extended family member who at least on the surface has it together. To me that leans on the whole issue probably boiling down to her being heart driven not head driven.

I’d warn you that comes with a lot of unique problems. You really need to assert reason and a more head driven girl would be easier. The heart for all it’s many gifts can get you both in a lot of trouble.

That warning said, if your confident you can do the required ‘dirty’ work she might not have the heart to do. She sounds based on your few comments like fine wife material.

Unless of course this isn’t the only sign she often ‘goes along to get along’ — in that case run. She’s not ready for marriage.

 

[bèlla]

It's important to understand what people believe and the why behind it. Spiritual maturity is ever growing if we heed the Lord. Empathy in immature hands can be permissive with the belief that tolerance and understanding are one in the same.

Sometimes we mean well but our naïveté can be detrimental. Leaven always expands and that's the problem. We all have niggling areas if we're honest. Places we allow more wiggle room than elsewhere. They're the ones we justify.

These are our weak points. The vulnerable place in the wall we must fortify. Because weak points are what the enemy attacks. He looks for the hole in your armor. In matters like these you must be willing to affirm the truth lovingly and gauge her receptivity when doing so.

Does she have an ear to hear? Is she teachable? That's more important than perfection. We all make mistakes. But can she accept correction and reconsider her position? Is she able to admit she's wrong? Exemplary women can. That's what you're after.

~bella

 

[DarkForest]

I’m a third year college student and about six months ago I met this wonderful Christian girl who loves the Lord and loves people. She’s gone through some of the toughest health problems and some of the toughest family problems I’ve ever seen someone go through and she’s come out on top through all this. I’d like to take the next step in our relationship to care for her and ask her to be my girlfriend but there’s just one thing holding me back.

She believes that the Bible is silent when it comes to homosexuality. Now, I believe that being gay is not a sin, but engaging in sexual conduct is. However, I’m respectful and understanding of those who are part of the gay community. Growing up, she’s got some extended family members who are gay and are Christians that are married and are raising a kid. She sees no wrong in what they’re doing, which has shaped her views on this, to the point where the many ideas about the mistranslations of the “Clobber” passages are her central point of contention. I’ve tried to show her that even without considering verses, since the dawn of human beings, God specifically created each gender for the other, to be complimentary and to enjoy each other’s company/affection.

Although we differ on this matter, and what it could possibly mean down the road with potential marriage and children and how we raise them, she still wants to enter into a relationship with me, and I do as well, but this is making me think and pray about things a bit harder. She is quite literally the greatest woman I have ever met in my life. What would you do if you were in my case? Would you continue into dating or end things? Or am I completely wrong in my understanding?

'You can get married and then divorce in ten years and work out child support.

 

[seeking.IAM]

'You can get married and then divorce in ten years and work out child support.

Or, you can learn to tolerate differences, which you will have to do regardless of whom you marry.

 

[PloverWing]

@alwayscurious : It's been a couple of months since your original post. In the end, what did you decide to do?

 

[BNR32FAN]

No two people agree on everything. Some disagreements are minor -- you can respectfully agree to disagree -- and some disagreements are major, deal-breakers. You and she have to decide for yourselves which category this disagreement falls into. Do you feel that you could be in a relationship with a person who disagrees with you on this issue, or is agreement on this issue vitally important to you?

What I would do is different from what you should do, because my deal-breaker issues are different from yours. My husband and I belong to two different Christian denominations; we agree on some issues of theology and disagree on others, but our disagreements aren't deal-breakers. Look deeply within yourself and discern what the deal-breakers really are for you.

I would consider the potential consequences of your children being raised to believe that homosexuality is not a sin.

 

[anetazo]

I would cut ties immediately. First Corinthians chapter 6, homosexuality will not inherit kingdom of God. Second Corinthians chapter 6, tells us to separate from the unclean. If homosexuals don't repent and conform to God's standard, their going into lake of fire with satan. Your a par taker of those sins by association. I'm not judging anyone. Get away from the unclean. Just because someone claims Christian, doesn't mean they are Christian. I documented this. Its your choice.