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Featured feel awful after ending an online "relationship"

Discussion in 'Requests for Christian Advice' started by pinkjess, May 19, 2019.

  1. pinkjess

    pinkjess There she goes...at the speed of sound

    711
    +531
    Non-Denom
    Celibate
    I ended an online "relationship/friendship/flirtation" a week ago and feel conflicted inside because I am sad to let the person go. I have a lot of mixed emotions about it. I talked to him for a year and I hoped we would meet eventually but the opportunity never came about, or it was just put on the back burner. Anyways, I think what happened was the guy simply lost interest because I was a desperate ditz who had health problems and was annoying. I think he felt sorry for me because he knew I didn't have real life friends. It was my first "real relationship" that wasn't actually a relationship because we had never met. I'm 25 years old and never been kissed or dated anyone ever. Ha, how pathetic is that? There's people my age having their 2nd or 3rd kid and I sing to my cats and eat mayonnaise out of the jar.

    I clung to this person a lot. He helped me through a lot of hard times that went on in my life. I told myself I knew he was meant for me and that I was going to be his wife someday. I wanted to be a good girlfriend to him. I guess my feelings were too strong because I think I was overbearing a lot of times. I could just text and text forever with him, never wanting it to stop. I daydreamed about us being together and I just wanted to be close to him all the time. It was like I was hooked on crack. But hey, isn't everyone's brain during the infatuation period? Except this infatuation period never really ended. At least not for me.

    I ended it because I realized...reality. We live in different states, miles and miles away. My family didn't like him and told me I was never going to move if it worked out and if I did they would lock me up. A very close relative of mine is sick and has two kids, and I know if something happens to them or if they can't care for them anymore (heaven forbid) I would be the one to step in and help them. I couldn't marry this guy if it worked out between us anyway. And he is very immersed in his company and he didn't want to leave his state. Plus, I have health issues and as much as I wish I could be a wife someday, I know it may not be a wise undertaking. I can hardly manage caring for myself and my two cats. Plus I don't want to burden a man with my needs.

    So you can see how easy it was for me to delve into this virtual romance. There was no risk attached, because it wasn't real.

    I have no friends. I can't drive. I don't have any hobbies or interests that matter. I can't carry on a decent conversation. I never go anywhere. I just eat, sleep, consume, work for three days then sleep my weekends off. What kind of self-respecting man would want a woman like that? I'm boring and uninteresting. I feel like such a fool for thinking I had anything to offer. I feel like crap. It's embarrassing. I feel so ashamed of myself.

    I don't know how to move on from this. I miss him. I want to talk to him again. I felt like he was my best friend. I have been managing without him, but I think about him every day. I miss his texts.
     
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  2. God is good

    God is good Well-Known Member

    808
    +925
    Christian
    Single
    Just remember that God really loves you and Jesus is always with you. I believe that if it's God's will for you to get married, it will happen, I am sure you have a lot to offer in a relationship, you are made in God's image and He sent His Son to die for you, you are very important. God bless you and Jesus is Lord.
     
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  3. royal priest

    royal priest debtor to grace

    +2,242
    United States
    Protestant
    Married
    Hi Jess.
    Do you go to church?
     
  4. jacks

    jacks Er Victus Supporter

    +1,896
    Christian
    Married
    US-Others
    I love that line! Anyone that does that can't be all bad. :) It is always difficult to end any social connection. However, please don't be so hard on yourself. You are a valuable, special person made in the image of God. Praying that this brings you closer to the Lord and you find that He will provide for you in His time.
     
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  5. pinkjess

    pinkjess There she goes...at the speed of sound

    711
    +531
    Non-Denom
    Celibate
    No :( my social anxiety is bad
     
  6. .Mikha'el.

    .Mikha'el. Young Fogie Staff Member Supervisor Supporter

    +4,020
    Canada
    Messianic
    Single
    I'm really sorry you're struggling so. :( My PM inbox is always open if you want someone to talk to. :hug::hug:
     
  7. truefiction1

    truefiction1 Fool

    +1,941
    United States
    Eastern Orthodox
    Married
    You seem to do just fine carrying on a decent conversation here. Just sharing my observation.
     
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  8. pinkjess

    pinkjess There she goes...at the speed of sound

    711
    +531
    Non-Denom
    Celibate
    Thanks
     
  9. S.O.J.I.A.

    S.O.J.I.A. Dynamic UNO

    +2,573
    United States
    Christian Seeker
    Single
    so is this the same guy from before or another guy?
     
  10. pinkjess

    pinkjess There she goes...at the speed of sound

    711
    +531
    Non-Denom
    Celibate
    Thank you
     
  11. pinkjess

    pinkjess There she goes...at the speed of sound

    711
    +531
    Non-Denom
    Celibate
    Same guy. The one from reddit.
     
  12. S.O.J.I.A.

    S.O.J.I.A. Dynamic UNO

    +2,573
    United States
    Christian Seeker
    Single
    I guess all I can really say is....I don't think celibacy is for you.
     
  13. pinkjess

    pinkjess There she goes...at the speed of sound

    711
    +531
    Non-Denom
    Celibate
    I don't think it is either.
     
  14. paul1149

    paul1149 that your faith might rest in the power of God Supporter

    +4,997
    United States
    Christian
    Private
    US-Republican
    Yes, you communicate very well. And you're more emotionally articulate than many.

    No matter what your circumstances, you are a beloved daughter of the King. That's where it all starts for the Christian. Transformation begins in the inner man when you begin to understand who you are in Christ and take your identity from that rather than from what the world, the flesh and the devil have told / are telling you.

    When that begins to become a reality, there is no telling what doors can open and what can happen. When your attitude is changed to the positive, possibilities can begin to present themselves, and you will increasingly recognize them as such and begin to take advantage of them.

    You're still very young and have your whole life ahead of you. If you start moving in this direction with diligence, there is no telling what you can achieve.
     
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  15. S.O.J.I.A.

    S.O.J.I.A. Dynamic UNO

    +2,573
    United States
    Christian Seeker
    Single
    you know, there's a guy who posts in the singles only forum who talks about his troubles in finding someone. maybe you should talk to him. you two may hit it off.
     
  16. truefiction1

    truefiction1 Fool

    +1,941
    United States
    Eastern Orthodox
    Married
    You're welcome. I'm curious, would you mind explaining how it is that your family can have you "locked up", as you said?
     
  17. pinkjess

    pinkjess There she goes...at the speed of sound

    711
    +531
    Non-Denom
    Celibate
    Thank you. I really appreciate that. I am trying to eat healthier and workout to improve my health and I am working on getting well enough to try for my driver's license so I can start volunteering like I have wanted to do for so long. I want to believe good things can happen again
     
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  18. pinkjess

    pinkjess There she goes...at the speed of sound

    711
    +531
    Non-Denom
    Celibate
    I'll think about it, thank you :)
     
  19. pinkjess

    pinkjess There she goes...at the speed of sound

    711
    +531
    Non-Denom
    Celibate
    Well, it may have been a joke but it was my sister who said it when I told them about him visiting sometime and she misheard and thought I was talking about me visiting him. She said if I was going to talk about moving to where he lives she would lock me in her house to keep from going. She was pretty stern when she said it.
     
  20. truefiction1

    truefiction1 Fool

    +1,941
    United States
    Eastern Orthodox
    Married
    Oh, okay, that makes sense. But I don't know why they would dislike this guy so much so as to keep you from visiting him.

    We have so many young people these days who can't seem to find girlfriends/boyfriends. It's especially true for young people looking for a Christian to be with.
     
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