feel awful after ending an online "relationship"

[pinkjess]

Oh, okay, that makes sense. But I don't know why they would dislike this guy so much so as to keep you from visiting him.

We have so many young people these days who can't seem to find girlfriends/boyfriends. It's especially true for young people looking for a Christian to be with.

It was because I am very close to my sister and her family and we rely on each other a lot. I babysit my nieces a lot and they help me too. If I moved I wouldn't see them anymore and they would not have it. LOL

 

[paul1149]

Thank you. I really appreciate that. I am trying to eat healthier and workout to improve my health and I am working on getting well enough to try for my driver's license so I can start volunteering like I have wanted to do for so long. I want to believe good things can happen again

These are fantastic steps. I'm currently on a huge regimen of herbal medicines to combat tick-borne diseases. Whatever your health problems are there may be herbs to help the body deal with them and heal. In addition I've started a ketogenic diet because I have been very carb-addicted, largely due to inactivity due to the disease. Switching to low-carb begins to kill the worst of the food cravings. I've been on it 5 weeks now and the results have been encouraging.

And getting involved relationally really sounds good too. When you're under attack think of how much love for you it took to drive the Lord Jesus to the cross. You can do this!

What then shall we say to this? If God is for us, who is against us?
He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, will he not also give us all things with him? -Rom 8​

 

[pinkjess]

These are fantastic steps. I'm currently on a huge regimen of herbal medicines to combat tick-borne diseases. Whatever your health problems are there may be herbs to help the body deal with them and heal. In addition I've started a ketogenic diet because I have been very carb-addicted, largely due to inactivity due to the disease. Switching to low-carb begins to kill the worst of the food cravings. I've been on it 5 weeks now and the results have been encouraging.

And getting involved relationally really sounds good too. When you're under attack think of how much love for you it took to drive the Lord Jesus to the cross. You can do this!

What then shall we say to this? If God is for us, who is against us?
He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, will he not also give us all things with him? -Rom 8​

Oh yes I may suspect Lyme is part of my issues too. I have POTS like symptoms and chronic fatigue *fun lol*. Thank you so much for that verse. I take comfort from it. I need to write it down and take it with me to remind me when I need it.

 

[truefiction1]

It was because I am very close to my sister and her family and we rely on each other a lot. I babysit my nieces a lot and they help me too. If I moved I wouldn't see them anymore and they would not have it. LOL

Oh, okay. It's good, in ways, to have strong support like this within families. Not everyone has this going for them.

 

[paul1149]

I may suspect Lyme is part of my issues too

I had Lyme, or one of its co-travelers, for decades and didn't know it. If you suspect so, I strongly suggest Stephen Buhner's book, Healing Lyme. The library will have it, or visit buhnerhealinglyme.com. Doctors, even a Lyme doctor, didn't help, but I have seen some results with Buhner's work.

 

[pinkjess]

Oh, okay. It's good, in ways, to have strong support like this within families. Not everyone has this going for them.

Yes I am thankful for them. I don't know where I would be right now without them.

 

[pinkjess]

I had Lyme, or one of its co-travelers, for decades and didn't know it. If you suspect so, I strongly suggest Stephen Buhner's book, Healing Lyme. The library will have it, or visit buhnerhealinglyme.com. Doctors, even a Lyme doctor, didn't help, but I have seen some results with Buhner's work.

Thanks so much!

 

[truefiction1]

Maybe you could sign up on OK Cupid (the free phone app for singles looking for possible dates) or something, and start texting with guys who live nearby you. I helped my son do this (but as it turns out, he won't really use dating sites or apps anyway because he's not interested enough in conversing that way). At least if you manage to run into someone you like on there, it's more likely to lead to a real relationship (in person, that is).

 

[pinkjess]

Maybe you could sign up on OK Cupid (the free phone app for singles looking for possible dates) or something, and start texting with guys who live nearby you. I helped my son do this (but as it turns out, he won't really use dating sites or apps anyway because he's not interested enough in conversing that way). At least if you manage to run into someone you like on there, it's more likely to lead to a real relationship (in person, that is).

Thats an idea. I'll def look into it. thank you

 

[truefiction1]

Thats an idea. I'll def look into it. thank you

I recommended that one in particular because you can message each other for free, just so you know. A lot of girls (and guys) can't afford to pay the price for a subscription on dating sites like Match.com, and so even if they want to they can't message a person they like on those sites. The only drawback is that OK Cupid is a phone app, so there isn't any website. You need to have a cellphone that the app works on.

 

[pinkjess]

I recommended that one in particular because you can message each other for free, just so you know. A lot of girls (and guys) can't afford to pay the price for a subscription on dating sites like Match.com, and so even if they want to they can't message a person they like on those sites. The only drawback is that OK Cupid is a phone app, so there isn't any website. You need to have a cellphone that the app works on.

Oh yeah I wanted to go on Christian Mingle but they charge so much money just to join. Its ridiculous lol. I do have a phone so it may work for me.

 

[truefiction1]

Oh yeah I wanted to go on Christian Mingle but they charge so much money just to join. Its ridiculous lol. I do have a phone so it may work for me.

Yeah, I had my son signed up on Christian Mingle for a little while too, and it costs a bit to do that. Then I saw that there really aren't a whole lot of girls that live close by enough to make it worth being a member. That's why Match was the best site as far as that goes. There are tons of singles on there that live reasonably close by, some even in the same town as us.

I forgot to cancel the subscription last month, since its not really being used, and they billed me another like $140 or something for another 6 months access, LOL. Meanwhile, my son still doesn't bother to use it at all. He's a real good boy, but stubborn about trying to get any dates. His one and only date ever hadn't gone as well as he'd expected, so I think he's not too keen on trying again right now. Oh well, maybe he's one of those guys who'll be a celibate. Nothing wrong with that, I suppose, is there pinkjess?

 

[pinkjess]

Yeah, I had my son signed up on Christian Mingle for a little while too, and it costs a bit to do that. Then I saw that there really aren't a whole lot of girls that live close by enough to make it worth being a member. That's why Match was the best site as far as that goes. There are tons of singles on there that live reasonably close by, some even in the same town as us.

I forgot to cancel the subscription last month, since its not really being used, and they billed me another like $140 or something for another 6 months access, LOL. Meanwhile, my son still doesn't bother to use it at all. He's a real good boy, but stubborn about trying to get any dates. His one and only date ever hadn't gone as well as he'd expected, so I think he's not too keen on trying again right now. Oh well, maybe he's one of those guys who'll be a celibate. Nothing wrong with that, I suppose, is there pinkjess?

Def not. I'm glad he's not girl-crazy lol. That is a good thing!

 

[truefiction1]

Def not. I'm glad he's not girl-crazy lol. That is a good thing!

Yep. He likes girls. He's just not ready to put any effort into meeting anyone. He says he believes he needs to land a pretty good job first, before getting involved with anyone. He's only part time for a couple of places and doesn't earn enough. I think he ought to be trying to get out on a date or two anyhow. A better job can come later. I think he's really just avoiding the dating thing because he's too nervous about it.

It can be real hard (dating) for sure. It's easier, I think, if things don't start out so much as dates, but just like some people getting together to go and do something that might be fun, and then something might happen, one thing leads to another, and "Wallah!" next thing you know, someone has a girlfriend (or boyfriend), just because they went out bowling or something like that.

 

[pinkjess]

Yep. He likes girls. He's just not ready to put any effort into meeting anyone. He says he believes he needs to land a pretty good job first, before getting involved with anyone. He's only part time for a couple of places and doesn't earn enough. I think he ought to be trying to get out on a date or two anyhow. A better job can come later. I think he's really just avoiding the dating thing because he's too nervous about it.

It can be real hard (dating) for sure. It's easier, I think, if things don't start out so much as dates, but just like some people getting together to go and do something that might be fun, and then something might happen, one thing leads to another, and "Wallah!" next thing you know, someone has a girlfriend (or boyfriend), just because they went out bowling or something like that.

I think its smart to get secure with a good job before dating but thats just me. Yeah that is the best way to find someone, being friends first!

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

I am an introvert with all sorts of health issues. I really was looking for someone local as I can't drive, don't have alot of money and have anxiety. I was ready to give up on finding someone when God put my wife into my life (at 32). So why is that a big deal? She was almost 8500 miles away in another country. This was something I never seen myself doing. I think it was a test by God. Because I had so many restrictions on finding someone close by. She was perfect, we are now going on just over 5 years married.

Don't put alot of restrictions on finding someone. If it's meant to be, it will work out.

 

[truefiction1]

I think its smart to get secure with a good job before dating but thats just me. Yeah that is the best way to find someone, being friends first!

Yeah, it's good to be friends.

I guess it should be a priority that he gets himself into a decent career of some sort then. He's put a lot of effort into trying to figure out what he should do. It's hard to know if a certain kind of job is right for you when you've never done that job before. I'm hopeful that something good will come along at some point. Thanks.

I hope you start feeling better soon.

 

[pinkjess]

I am an introvert with all sorts of health issues. I really was looking for someone local as I can't drive, don't have alot of money and have anxiety. I was ready to give up on finding someone when God put my wife into my life (at 32). So why is that a big deal? She was almost 8500 miles away in another country. This was something I never seen myself doing. I think it was a test by God. Because I had so many restrictions on finding someone close by. She was perfect, we are now going on just over 5 years married.

Don't put alot of restrictions on finding someone. If it's meant to be, it will work out.

Awwww. Thank you for sharing your story. I wish my long distance thing with my guy worked out . Maybe someday someone else will

 

[Raj Sahu123]

I ended an online "relationship/friendship/flirtation" a week ago and feel conflicted inside because I am sad to let the person go. I have a lot of mixed emotions about it. I talked to him for a year and I hoped we would meet eventually but the opportunity never came about, or it was just put on the back burner. Anyways, I think what happened was the guy simply lost interest because I was a desperate ditz who had health problems and was annoying. I think he felt sorry for me because he knew I didn't have real life friends. It was my first "real relationship" that wasn't actually a relationship because we had never met. I'm 25 years old and never been kissed or dated anyone ever. Ha, how pathetic is that? There's people my age having their 2nd or 3rd kid and I sing to my cats and eat mayonnaise out of the jar.

I clung to this person a lot. He helped me through a lot of hard times that went on in my life. I told myself I knew he was meant for me and that I was going to be his wife someday. I wanted to be a good girlfriend to him. I guess my feelings were too strong because I think I was overbearing a lot of times. I could just text and text forever with him, never wanting it to stop. I daydreamed about us being together and I just wanted to be close to him all the time. It was like I was hooked on crack. But hey, isn't everyone's brain during the infatuation period? Except this infatuation period never really ended. At least not for me.

I ended it because I realized...reality. We live in different states, miles and miles away. My family didn't like him and told me I was never going to move if it worked out and if I did they would lock me up. A very close relative of mine is sick and has two kids, and I know if something happens to them or if they can't care for them anymore (heaven forbid) I would be the one to step in and help them. I couldn't marry this guy if it worked out between us anyway. And he is very immersed in his company and he didn't want to leave his state. Plus, I have health issues and as much as I wish I could be a wife someday, I know it may not be a wise undertaking. I can hardly manage caring for myself and my two cats. Plus I don't want to burden a man with my needs.

So you can see how easy it was for me to delve into this virtual romance. There was no risk attached, because it wasn't real.

I have no friends. I can't drive. I don't have any hobbies or interests that matter. I can't carry on a decent conversation. I never go anywhere. I just eat, sleep, consume, work for three days then sleep my weekends off. What kind of self-respecting man would want a woman like that? I'm boring and uninteresting. I feel like such a fool for thinking I had anything to offer. I feel like crap. It's embarrassing. I feel so ashamed of myself.

I don't know how to move on from this. I miss him. I want to talk to him again. I felt like he was my best friend. I have been managing without him, but I think about him every day. I miss his texts.

Dear sister, love and blessings. Jesus said "
Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life." (John 12:25 )

Again the good Lord reveals in 1 John 2:15 "Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them."
I believe you are blessed and eternal love awaits you. I met my wife 15 years back online. She is a Romanian and I an Indian . She was Christian , I was a Hindu. She travelled all the way to India. We married and I came to California. That's where I found Jesus . Our marriage is challenged. The enemy is on my case . Yet the Lord's grace sustains it. May He find the appropriate man for your life. May His will be done . I pray blessings on you

 

[visionary]

Being a stranger to what is going on in your world makes it hard to have much constructive help to message you with. While I read your story, I see a lot of self doubt, self analysis but not of your good qualities, and I wondered how much of it is what you lay on yourself and not necessarily what could be. I know this thread is about your loss with a dear friend whom you dreamed would turn into more. But you ended it which was curious since you indicated a lot of clinginess on your part. I think you are incredibly strong to go against your own desires to end something you love and miss because you believe that your overbearing, clingy self is not good for a healthy relationship.

I think you need to re-invent yourself into the type of woman you believe would be perfect for a healthy relationship with a God fearing man. I see strength in you to change. I see an articulate person who has done enough introspecting to last a life time and is ready to make something out of her life. You may be an at home person, but that doesn't mean you can't become a great chef, that you can't become an artist or an author or playwriter of the next great novel. ...etc. Something to put your energy into.