Conversions to Orthodoxy

[rusmeister]

Yeah. That's my story, and it blew me away, too.

 

[Philip]

Archimandrite Vasileios

I loved Hymn of Entry. I figure after two or three more readings, I will start to understand all he says.

 

[irishseventysix]

I'm new to these boards, but I thought I'd comment. I was raised in a Protestant Resoration Movement-type church and stayed there for 18 years. Then, I went to an Evangelical Bible college and became an 'emergent', though I still don't know what that means beyond 'rising'. But what nailed me about the Church was what Father said to me the second time I visited.

Let me relate this a bit here and say that I'm a bespectacled young white male with baby-fine white Irish skin, blue eyes, and short, sandy-blonde hair. If it weren't for my Irish Catholic ancestry, I would look like a poster boy for the 'white oppressor'.

I came to Father Theodore and St. John's in the midst of the deepest period of suffering in my life I had ever known. It was rough and I didn't feel like any church I had been to or was looking at had anything but permasmiling, perfectly gelled worship leaders and pastors that strained to speak in the parlances of our times. It didn't seem like anyone was struggling anywhere I went. And, therefore, it didn't seem like anywhere I went was a safe place to struggle, to hurt, to be messy. I came very close to giving it all up to pursue my 'passions'. And it was at this point that a friend of mine, who had just heard about Orthodoxy through some friends, had me come with him to a Liturgy. It was a Greek Orthodox Church, but not terribly ethnic.

It immediately felt like home. And conversations I had with people afterward further solidified the (then-odd) feelings of safety and hospitality I had rarely (and then only very temporarily) felt anywhere else in my 20 years of experience in Christendom.

The second week I was there, I met Father in his office after Liturgy and spilled my guts to him. I told him about all the things I was always discouraged from talking about in the other churches I was a part of because they were such 'hot-button' issues. I asked him if I could be safe there...if the Church was a safe place for me to struggle and be messy and not be judged. And for the first time in 20 years of experience in Christendom, I heard the words, "Of course! There is always room for struggling Christians. We're all struggling." Nine months later, I became Orthodox.

I quickly discovered that my parish consisted of about 30% "cradle" Orthodox and 70% converts. Right now, we are a mission parish of about 150, with 22 serious inquirers, Catechumens, or Newly-Illumined (me) non-babies (and we have a ton of newborns/infants). That means converts.

And one thing that was helpful for me to know going in was that no one's eyes are going to be on me during Liturgy. No one's going to (or is supposed to, anyway) judge anyone. If we do, it's a sin and we need to confess it.

As others have said, though, the more 'ethnic' parishes might be more difficult to get a foothold in right away. Though any difficulty experienced shouldn't be read as rejection. Many parishes came over intact from Eastern Europe as persecuted refugee parishes and 50-80 years on can still have a little bit of an enclavish (is that a word?) feel to them. So they'll be a little more self-protective, perhaps.

I'm very blessed to have fit in so well with my parish and have so many close friends there. But it's taken some time, too.

I hope this helps.

Peace,

Jude

 

[DonVA]

I'm new to this group (but not to Orthodoxy... I'm one of those "cradle-O's" that strayed, but found his way back!). I have to tell you that I've very much enjoyed your conversion stories, and am in the process of compiling my "return to the church" story (is that off track? I'm thinking it's not THAT far from conversion to share my "returning to Orthodoxy after 30 years" experience). Trust me, when all you know about your religion is what you remember learning as a child, it's all brand new when you return in your 40s.

Until I get my thoughts together, I can assure you that you have found the True Church. I wish I could express in words how wonderful it felt to finally reach that realization... but maybe you already know how that feels...

 

[ClementofRome]

I'm new to this group (but not to Orthodoxy... I'm one of those "cradle-O's" that strayed, but found his way back!). I have to tell you that I've very much enjoyed your conversion stories, and am in the process of compiling my "return to the church" story (is that off track? I'm thinking it's not THAT far from conversion to share my "returning to Orthodoxy after 30 years" experience). Trust me, when all you know about your religion is what you remember learning as a child, it's all brand new when you return in your 40s.

Until I get my thoughts together, I can assure you that you have found the True Church. I wish I could express in words how wonderful it felt to finally reach that realization... but maybe you already know how that feels...

I look forward to hearing your story Don.
Bless you,
Clement

 

[Brushstroke]

There's no doubt in my mind; I'm converting to Orthodoxy this Sunday. I found an Orthodox church in a town near mine. It's only about 15 to 20 minutes away. It's called St. Nicholas Mission Orthodox Church.

I find Orthodoxy to be logical, not so strict, and I love the services. And oddly enough, I've found that my beliefs before Orthodoxy actually agreed with Orthodoxy all along, so I figured that since it is truly the original Church, and based on the fact that I really do feel God's presence during the services, unlike at a lot of the Baptist churches that I used to go to (my family is primarily Baptist), I'm converting.

EDIT: How do I change that little icon that displays my denomination? lol

 

[ClementofRome]

I love your zeal grasshopper......breath deeply.....relax.....

I can totally understand your want to dive headlong...pray hard...ask for insight...wait...listen

 

[Ioan cel Nou]

There's no doubt in my mind; I'm converting to Orthodoxy this Sunday. I found an Orthodox church in a town near mine. It's only about 15 to 20 minutes away. It's called St. Nicholas Mission Orthodox Church.

I find Orthodoxy to be logical, not so strict, and I love the services. And oddly enough, I've found that my beliefs before Orthodoxy actually agreed with Orthodoxy all along, so I figured that since it is truly the original Church, and based on the fact that I really do feel God's presence during the services, unlike at a lot of the Baptist churches that I used to go to (my family is primarily Baptist), I'm converting.

EDIT: How do I change that little icon that displays my denomination? lol

You're very unlikely to find that you can convert on Sunday (unless you've already been discussing conversion with a priest for quite some time). You may be able to formally enter the catechumenate (though even that might not happen straight away), but catechumenates can last a long time. Mine was only a few months (after several years as an inquirer) but I've known people who were catechumens for a year or more. Orthodoxy is not something you want to rush into and the priest will make sure you are ready before he baptises or chrismates you. I wish you all the best and you will be in my prayers but please, take your time.

James

 

[Rdr Iakovos]

Christ is Risen!
Hello Geist:
The advice in these last two posts has been spot-on. We welcome you with open arms, but encourage you to patiently make preparation.

That being said, one friend of mine was chrismated 3 months after coming to his first service. As for me, I went nearly 3 years, finally taking the Lenten period as my Catechetical training and preparation.

I was then chrismated with my whole family on Lazarus Saturday in 2003. The wait was so very worth it.

At any rate, may the Holy Trinity bless your catechumenate.

Iakovos the Reader

 

[RobNJ]

Just Pm'd this to a friend & figured it would be good here, as well

My journey to the Orthodox church started out when I was an Ordained Elder in the RCA (Calvinist types..next door to presbyterian)>As an Elder, I took communion to the sick & shut-in's , could be called on to lead the service, if the minister was unable to(including the sermon). I was also the Elder Delegate to Classis (a legislative body..roughly equivalent to a Bishop......but something was missing...At first,I thought it was just liturgy & traditiion...Liturgy & tradition were available, a few blocks over at the Episcopal church.I met with the minister, then with the minister & the rest of the Elders, to tell them that I was leaving, and why. My last act as a Reformed Elder, was serving communion on Maunday Thursday...Easter saw me in the Episcopal church...spent just over a year there. During that time, I started learning more about Orthodoxy...and the more Iearned, the better it sounded..Orthodoxy has a bedrock solidity & fullness that I haven't found anywhere else. I finally took the plunge, went to my first Divine Liturgy & I WAS HOME!!!!
Since then, I've learned thev doctrines & theology of the Orthodox church.. and they've all "clicked" & made sense to me. And I know, there's no other kind of worship that could come close to being as fulfilling as the Divine Liturgy is!!
Sorry for the rambling PM..but I think I've just composed my conversion story LOL
In short, I know the angst of leaving one faith for another...and in the case of ending up Orthodox....IT'S WORTH IT!!!!!!!!


Rob

 

[DonVA]

As a young boy, I went to church fairly regularly with my family and extended family. In fact, my grandmother's home was right across the street from the church in DC, so family gatherings usually revolved around church and always included an invitation for Father Louis to join us.

Through my youth, I served as an altar boy, and had even expressed a desire to become a priest one day. While other children were "playing school," I would be in my room draping a bathrobe over my shoulders and pretending a belt was my censor, reading aloud the Divine Liturgy, practicing to become a priest. Once in awhile I could convince my sister to sing the choir parts.

I'm sure I was all of 9 years old. And I'm also sure that my desire to be a priest had as much to do with the kind of man Father Louis was as it did with my wanting to do the right thing in the eyes of the Lord. I was the son of an alcoholic father, so Father Louis was very much the strongest male role model I'd had in my life up to this time. He was my guide and my mentor, and treated my family as if it were his own.

I was 12 when my family moved to a small town in West Virginia, so church became something we did once in awhile when visiting family. To fill the void, my mother had begun going to a Presbyterian Church where they sang simple hymns and worshipped in a way that I found to be very disjointed and diluted. The place was cheerul and the people were friendly, but in no way did this feel like worship. People were talking loudly. There was the occasional impulsive "Amen." I didn't follow what they were doing and truly didn't feel a part of anything "bigger" while I was there. I eventually opted to not participate in that service, and relied on the Church in my mind to keep me close to God.

By my 20s, I had wandered so far from the Church that I began to think that maybe I was agnostic. I knew I wasn't atheist, as I believed in something supreme. I began to question my faith, and by my thirties felt that I was probably more spiritual than religious, therefore organized religion wasn't necessary for me. I would just try to do the right thing, live a decent life, and accept whatever rewards or punishments that awaited me at the end. No longer setting my sights on the priesthood, I chose to pursue a career in radio broadcasting, which took me through my thirties, with very little time for church. In my 20s I had fed my mind, so in my 30s, I'd be feeding my body. I drank, ate, had a great time, got engaged, broke up, and lived a pretty rock-and-roll "local celebrity" kind of lifestyle.

In 2002, I turned 40. I think we all take a look back at our lives when we hit milestone birthdays, and this was no exception. My life was just a career. I never married. I had no children. I was as close to 60 as I was to 20, and 20 wasn't that long ago. I needed to figure out what I wanted to do with my next 20 years because I didn't want to hit THAT milestone with regrets.

Maybe I could live without becoming a priest, but I absolutely knew I would regret never becoming a father.

I got serious with my new career in the hotel industry, sold the condo, bought a 4-bedroom house, a Volvo, surrounded myself with the best friends and remained very close to my immediate family. With everyone's support, I set out to adopt a son through foster care (he's now been with me for two years, is 13, and adoption should be final by mid-summer).

At 43, I thought I'd closed a few gaps and made some progress (I plan to marry someday... I can't build a new life in just 7 days, you know!) and STILL when I left the house everyday I had this nagging feeling that I was forgetting something.

Just before Great Lent this year, my mother asked me if I'd be participating. This is something I'd treated very lightly in the past, agreeing to make a sacrifice for 40 days. If I fell off the wagon, I'd just jump back on and pick up where I left off. I'd forgive myself and move on. Remember, all I know about Orthodoxy is what I learned before I turned 12, so I kept it simple. One year I gave up meat, one year I gave up soda, this year I committed to give up sweets... which drove my son nuts (I wouldn't have them in the house). My mother and I would check on each other during our weekly calls, not really discussing why we were doing what we were doing, but just to keep each other motivated. Neither of us was doing the full-on fast, and to be quite honest, I don't think I had learned that much about it all as a child. I just knew to pick something you like, and give it up for forty days.

It was the second week of Lent when my son asked me "WHY are you DOING this?"

The oversimplified answer I gave him as to why I was doing this didn't even satisfy ME. I tried to explain it, but my understanding of Great Lent was truly that of a child's. I wanted to set an example for him but how could I do that if I couldn't really explain what fasting meant? I did feel good about my explanation of why it lasted 40 days, and why MY "Easter" was a week later than his. I explained that the Orthodox follow a different calendar, but couldn't explain why the Julian and Gregorian calendars differed or how they came about. And that was about as much as I could convey to a child who has not even been baptized (yet. I've only had him since he was 11. I do know he's attended a church service where they were given communion. In his words, "a dixie cup with grape juice and some kind of cracker.")

I decided it was time to get some answers for my OWN understanding. If my 20s were for feeding my mind, and my 30s for feeding my body, then it was time to feed my soul.

God Bless Frederica Mathewes-Green and her book, Facing East. She cleared up ANY confusion I had about why we do what we do, kiss what we kiss, and say what we say. By day 33 of Lent, I'd completed that book, was looking forward to Pascha, and truly wanted to participate in Holy Week. I needed to be with other Orthodox Christians, worshipping properly and celebrating Christ's resurrection.

I found a Greek Orthodox Church near me, and stopped by to inquire as to what time the events of Holy Week would occur, what time were regular Sunday services, and discovered that Easter Sunday services be at a different time, an hour later than the usual service, 10:30AM.

I was unable to get out of my part-time job (I still broadcast on Sundays from noon-6) on "our" Easter, so decided to give my employer some notice so I could attend the Divine Liturgy the following Sunday. My son would be on a camping trip, so I could see if I can swing Church and radio on the same day. I was a bit annoyed at myself for being so obsessed with doing this. I don't obsess over much, but I truly needed to do this. I absolutely wanted to be close to Christ. I wanted to validate the and celebrate the the 40 days I'd given up sweets, and it was constantly on my mind.

I left my house that Sunday at 9am and was in the Church by 9:15 for the 10AM service. In my head, I was remembering the Greek hymn "Christos Anesti," and found myself singing aloud--alone--in my car on the way to the Church. I was sorry that I had missed hearing it the previous week, as it was my favorite hymn as a child.

I entered the Church and approached the icon in the entryway, and as I was crossing myself was hit with the scent of the incense. The smell took me back to being a boy, loading up the censors for Father Louis, to seeing my Aunt singing so beautifully in the choir, to my grandfather watching over his family from the back row, to standing beside my cousin Debbie, to Holy Bread, to Communion, to the many funerals I'd attended over the years, to the baptism of family members I'd witnessed... In one deep breath, it all came flooding back. I had been so hungry for this and felt as though I was already full in this one instant. As I kissed the icon, The Holy Spirit swirled around me, wrapping me in the purest love I have ever known. I'm serious. It was that fast and it was that huge. It felt as if the Lord had greeted me at the door and was welcoming me home.

Father Jimmy stepped out from behind the Holy Doors, and began to sing "Christos Anesti." My heart jumped. In fact, I felt my blood racing as I joined in the singing of this hymn I loved so much. I've never been one to sing loudly in church and I'm sure that I wasn't, but it felt to me like I was singing at the top of my lungs. I lifted my eyes to view the top of the iconostasis and felt a tear fall from the corner of my eye. Tears? Over a hymn? The service has just started!

I had been afraid that I would feel like a spectator upon my return to the Church, but even though I knew NO ONE around me and was standing quite alone, I felt very in touch with the others who were worshipping, and felt swept up in the worship. I felt like I was a part of all of this. I wasn't a spectator. It wasn't awkward. I felt as if the Lord had placed me in that church at that time with those strangers so I could feel him filling my heart with all that love. Just me and Him. I couldn't get over how personally I was taking all of this. I'm sure you've felt what I was feeling at that time so you know the words are difficult to express. I wanted to bottle this feeling up and keep it with me every day. I never paid attention to how I felt when I was worshipping as a child. It was just the way we prayed. I think at the time I assumed that every church did this stuff this way.

This feeling was greater than any feeling I've ever known. I realized how empty my life had been during the years I'd spent away from the Church and began to truly regret the distance I'd created between me and God. I had tried to walk alone and carve out some new kind of path or detour onto some other journey for the sake of exploration.

But at this moment, the feeling I had was a peaceful jubilance. It was absolute and unconditional love. It stirred 43 years of my life into one gigantic emotional stew. I needed God to forgive me for nearly 30 years of ignorance. I prayed for God to forgive me for not praising Him for so long, for abandoning Him, for anything that even remotely resembled a sin, and for ever doubting Him. He IS the reason I fasted. It is by HIS Grace that I even exist. It is His Mercy that completes me.

Father Jimmy gave a brief sermon to the children in the front of the Church before they take communion and head off to Sunday school, explaining why the red cloth is draped over the chalice, why they shake the cloth, the earthquake after Christ was crucified, why Christ's resurrection should be in history books, why non-believers never saw the resurrected Christ, but some 500 others did...why... why... why....

Father Jimmy knew all of the answers to "Why are you DOING this?"

The Creed, Communion, "Indeed, He Is Risen!" It was all coming back to me and I was able to appreciate it all through adult eyes. He told the story of St. Thomas, the "doubting Thomas," the one who needed proof of pierced flesh to confirm his belief in Christ. Is he the guy I had become in my 20s, knowing deep down that Christ is true, but wanting someone--anyone--to deliver proof.

Lord, Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.

Father Jimmy continued, "Everyone is out there looking for a book, or a video, or SOMETHING to tell them what life is all about or what our purpose in life is, but we've been sharing the answers in communion with God--the way The Apostles taught us--all along. We have been gathering together to worship behind safe doors as a community since the time of Christ, the way He taught us. What has kept us coming back every Sunday for generations...is our Faith."

Did Father Jimmy see me coming?

"Last week during Holy Week, the Church was full. Look around today," He said, "Today our church is very empty. Today, we are the faithful who, like the Disciples, stood fast by our Lord and remained connected as a community through our faith."

Now I am like a Disciple? I have to admit to you that I felt as though I was put on some kind of Orthodox fast-track. I had come to the Church that day to celebrate Christ's resurrection and to worship the God I had fasted 40 days to get close to. On that day, I realized we--today's Orthodox Christians--ARE the new Disciples. The Apostles passed this faith down and it has survived from generation to generation. Here we stand two-thousand years later passing down the very same practices and beliefs.

I found the something I was forgetting everyday in St. Nicholas Greek Orthodox Church on the Sunday after Easter.

I am working to get out of the shift at the radio station so I can share The Truth with MY only son, so that he can someday share it with his. I hope his heart can be as full as mine is now. I've opened my life back up to the only religion that's ever made sense to me. Not only did the Orthodox Church teach me The Truth as a child, but it taught me that there's no reason to search any further for the meaning of life. The answer cannot be found in a book or a movie or any other spiritual path. The Truth is in Christ. He IS what life is all about. Our job is to spread His Word the way it's been spread through the ages-through this Orthodox faith--and prepare ourselves to share in the glory of The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit.

If God wills, I will see you there.

 

[MariaRegina]

Beautiful testimony, Don.

Welcome home and

God grant you many years!

Be open. Maybe God is still calling you to the priesthood.

They do have a late vocation program.

 

[ClementofRome]

WOW Don....thanks so much for sharing that.

Clement

 

[Rdr Iakovos]

Beautiful testimony, Don.

Welcome home and

God grant you many years!

Be open. Maybe God is still calling you to the priesthood.

They do have a late vocation program.

Indeed.

"Deep calls to Deep," Don, welcome home. As your peer and contemporary, I say listen to God's call, when it is time. Moses was called at 80.

I'll be starting seminary within the next year-two years. (God willing)
Blessings
Rdr Iakovos

 

[Annabel Lee]

I'm not a catechumen but I did make it to my fourth Divine Liturgy today.

And if Aria sees this post.... I met Father Paul.

 

[MariaRegina]

I'm not a catechumen but I did make it to my fourth Divine Liturgy today.

And if Aria sees this post.... I met Father Paul.

<<<<<<<< Annabel >>>>>>>>

Wow, Father Paul is so wonderful and his wife is the best matuska.

You are lucky, Annabel to have met him.

Let me know if any special events are happening up there.
If so, PM me the time and date, and maybe we can drive up the coast.

Summertime is good for me as I'm not taking any university courses.

 

[Greg the byzantine]

My Goodness DonVA I am practically crying here, reading your testimony. I am so glad you shared that with us.

 

[Annabel Lee]

<<<<<<<< Annabel >>>>>>>>

Wow, Father Paul is so wonderful and his wife is the best matuska.

You are lucky, Annabel to have met him.

Let me know if any special events are happening up there.
If so, PM me the time and date, and maybe we can drive up the coast.

Summertime is good for me as I'm not taking any university courses.

My cup runneth over.

There is this..

Ventura County Greek Festival

On June 9,10 and 11. I've always meant to go to this but somehow always missed it.
It looks like a lot of fun.

I know that something is going on at Saint Barbara's Monastary tonight, I think Father Paul is speaking but it's a bit late for that now.

 

[Annabel Lee]

Don, what an amazing testimony.

 

[DonVA]

Beautiful testimony, Don.

Welcome home and

God grant you many years!

Be open. Maybe God is still calling you to the priesthood.

They do have a late vocation program.

If that is God's will, I will comply, but I think I have a little more cleansing and purging to do before I'm worthy enough to be an unworthy priest! Along with the joy of this experience comes the guilt and the shame of having allowed evil to tempt my thoughts an actions for the better part of my life.

I remain open, and look forward to the direction in which God points me next.

Thank you for allowing me to share that with the group, and for your PMs and blessings. I hope converts find a little of themselves in my experience, and pray that you stand by your Church and serve the Lord in the best way you know how. If I can help any of you on YOUR journey, please feel free to PM me.