Christ is in our midst!
I thought I would take this opportunity to tell everyone my "conversion story", a testimonial as the western faith would say.
I was born and raised in Colorado as a "believer". When I was 12 my family attended a Billy Graham Crusade. I "accepted" the "idea" of Jesus Christ as my "personal savior and Lord". I offically "believed" in Jesus Christ although before this I knew of Jesus Christ and "believed" but I never "offically" believed by a confession infront of a large group of people. After a few weeks my mother got us all around the table and we all said the "I accept Jesus Christ prayer" again. I thought this strange considering I had already accepted Him a few weeks before but I guess is was a "re dedication" of my life to Jesus Christ.
We loved to ski and play golf so my Sunday's consisted of skiing in the winter and playing golf and caddying in the summers. Not much time for "church" but hey "we are in Church no matter where we are". Were two of more gather type of thing. My "christian life" as a protestant consisted of reading the bible, listening to radio preachers, and books, hundreds of protestant christian books. We are told as protestants not to listen to men but the airwaves are full of "christians" stating their own understanding that we listened to and believered. Billy Graham is a pillar of the protestant faith. I liked People to People and Bob George. The "grace message" is quite comforting and "simple", tasting like honey.
Over the years I studied every protestant faith known. The Lutherans, Methodist, Anglicans, Baptist, etc, etc..... I studied the cults like Jehovah's Witnesses, The Mormons, Seventh Day Adventists, Christian Scienctists, Gnostics, even UFO stuff. Bob Larsen was a teacher I learned alot about the cults from and still have his books.
One cult I never really investigated was the Orthodox cult. I figured these people were just another Roman Catholic group so they fit the Roman Catholic profile. No reason to investigate the Holy Orthodox Church because they were Roman Catholic and I instinctively knew the Roman Church was corrupt just by being "protestant", the "harlot to come out of" I was told. I have flash backs in my mind of visiting an orthodox church prior to my being a "believing christian" maybe when I was 4 or 5 we visited an orthodox church other than that I was clueless about Orthodoxy.
I went to college and skied. My christian life was "manipulative" prayer, reading the bible and investigating cults. I became a geologist and later married a "fallen" Roman Catholic woman. My wife at 18 years of age fell away from the Roman Catholic faith over Vatican II. She has explained to me that she knew she was to enter the Orthodox faith but did not want to become orthodox alone. So she felt she should wait for her husband someday. I good excuse to get into alot of trouble.
Anyway we meet, got married and had a son. I felt I needed to bring my son up in the "christian" faith. Give him a "christian family" outside his personal family. I never had very much "fellowship with the brethren" other than what I felt was fellowship ie the golf course and the ski slopes. I proceeded to go to different churches. I tried the baptist church but they seemed to "american". One church was decked out with the american flag everywhere! I am american but I am first a "christian", please, I am not making the flag into idol to worship. Lutherans and anglicans were close but they worshipped the RCC trinity with the "filioque clause". So I felt a non denominational church would be best because my wife was not going back to the ever changing Roman Catholic Church. She saw the RCC was full of compromise and change.
We began attending a large non denominational church. It was good for awhile but then became like a weekly "pump up for Jesus" ritual. I never knew for certain what the man next to me believed. Yes we had a "confession of faith" or a statement but I was never certain because one could change this confession. I remember once we were being taught the confession of the "Roman Catholic Creed of 1054 ad" and the pastor says "if you want to not say this part (baptism for the remission of sins) you dont have to", that threw up a huge red flag to me.
Why are we allowed to change the creed and not the bible? Acts 2:38 plainly says this and now this pastor wants me to erase it? I questioned the pastor about changing the creed and statement of faith but did not get a reply that was satisfactory. "As long as we believe in Jesus that is what matters". Really? So can I change "true God of true God" in regards to Jesus Christ and still "believe"? I could erase the "filioque clause"? This was madness to me.
I am a big radio fan. There was a program in Denver Colorado called "prepare for war" run by a pentacostal group. I would call these guys on the radio and discuss the fact they "believed" Jesus Christ, the SON of the Living God, was in reality "God, the Father" who "manifests" Himself as the Son. Modelism. I attended a convention in 1997 and low and behold a "bishop" from the "orthodox Church" takes the stages and starts preaching the "Holy Trinity". I was flabberghasted and in a short time this church converted to this "bishop's" orthodoxy. I was intriged and after a year I converted also with my son to this version of the orthodox faith (the Mar thoma line outside of inda, an "orthodox" group split off from Antioch in the 12th century and heavily influanced by the Anglican Church I later found out). My wife was quite sceptical of this group and on the day of our chrismation she walked out during the service. One should always listen to one's wife.
This "church" was quite a distance from my home (100 + miles) and traveling to this church was time consuming. I was going with my children to the 6 am eucharist service. I thought I had found "the Church". I felt "orthodoxy" finally fulfilled the void of "fellowship with the brethren" and "like mindedness" we all stood and confessed the same thing and not the Roman Catholic creed but a bit different. Even to this day I find the fact the protestant churches for the most part confess the Roman Catholic "trinity" model stated in the RCC creed quite astounding since they condemn everything else that appears "catholic". Seems the protestant faith over looks a huge theological error (the filioque) to nit pick the minor doctrinal errors of the Roman Catholic faith. The protestants confess the same Roman Catholic "trinity" yet hate the church that made it up. This was also madness to me. I soon came to see I had been duped by the Roman Catholic faith into thinking the Orthodox Church was "part of the Roman Catholic Church", a "sister church", the "left lung". Orthodoxy is not the Roman Catholic Church nor part of the RCC.
Back to the story. I got weary of travel to Denver and made a choice to seek an "orthodox church" where I lived. I got the phone book out and looked one up. One Sunday morning I visited the "Orthodox Church" in my town. This Church was quite different than the "orthodox Church" in Denver however I was orthodox so I thought. The service was somewhat the same yet no band, no smoke machines, no stage, no dancing in the aisles, NO PLACE TO SIT. Just a priest and everyone was standing facing east. There was this wall between the "alter" and the people. I felt this odd because all the alters I saw in the "protestant" world the preist or pastor faced the people for the most part. This priest had his back to me. This was strange.
My first impression was one of "awe" and "fear" of God then a strange feeling of "I am home" joy. I had never experianced this before in any Church. God was truely "present" in this place. What a strange sensation, fear of God mixed with undiscribable joy. I wanted to fall on my face in worship and jump for estatic joy all at the same time. No rock band, no special lighting effects, no dog and pony show to "pump me up" just prayer. This is the "house of God" because it is the "house of prayer".
Well, I am arrogant and pridefilled thus thinking I was orthodox I went to the chalis and recieved communion after being quizzed by the priest on who my bishop was. He had never heard of this "bishop" but communed me anyway. After the service I explained to him my orthodoxy was a "convergence" between the old and new so this church in denver had a band and stuff. He laughed and said "you guys are not orthodox" (snicker). I was quite taken a back and a little offended but then he says " you have a misrepresented Jesus", well I thought who is this guy to tell me who Jesus is?
To say the least I was a bit set off by this event. At my next meeting with the "priest" in Denver I queried him about the "closed communion" at this orthodox church I attended in my city. He said asking " why did you go to an orthodox church? You can go to a Roman Church, a Lutheran Church, or an Anglican Church why did you go there?" I thought well because you told me I was "orthodox". This put up a red flag in my mind because our confession was not the Roman Version. Why would I want to attend a protestant church as an "orthodox christian" they confess "another Jesus" in the filioque? I got the same kind of run around as I did from the protestant non demonination pastor. I asked this man's wife about the closed communion and she says "well, that priest doesnt know what he is talking about and whatever you do do not tell that priest we are ordaining homosexuals and women into the priesthood"! My thought was not egad "homosexuals and women priests" it was "this woman, a leader in this "orthodox church" just asked me to lie to a priest!" I never returned to this church in denver.
For 4 years I visited the priest in my town every tuedays ever questioning him and the orthodox faith. One day I was going through the bible with him and asked him something on grace, you see I know my protestant roots, he reached for my bible to turn the page and I noted his hand was shaking. This man wanted so much to answer me correctly. I sat there thinking "what am I doing? I am just like the pharisee and this man is like Jesus Christ. I am ever questioning but never learning. I am not trying to learn from the Church, no, I am trying to entrap the Church!" I felt shamed. God was humbling me. I will never forget that day when I saw the pharisee in me. After this day I stopped the questions of entrapment and came to the questions of obediant learning and submission to my "spiritual father" I had just found. Over time I came to the realization that as a protestant I was never a "believer" and not a "christian" and if I wanted to use the word "christian" to discribe my religion I had to "become Orthodox" or I was nothing but an agnostic geologist. I could not let go of Jesus Christ.
I spent 4 years investigating the orthodox faith. I now see the Holy Orthodox Church is the organic body of Jesus Christ on the Earth and to have "Life in Christ" one must "live His life" in the "orthodox way". The life of Jesus Christ is lived in the Holy Orthodox Church. To have a "personal relationship" with Jesus Christ one must have a relationship with "the Church". My wife and children began visiting the Church and attending the services.
We were baptised as a family into the Holy Orthodox Church by the grace and guidance of the Holy Spirit on February 2, 2002.
I do not disregard my protestant roots. The Holy Spirit was, is and has always been leading me into all truth and Orthodoxy is the fulness of that truth.
Glory to Jesus Christ!
Kyril