Break Up Lines

[LadyOfMystery]

This is what my ex said when breaking up with me "God woke me up in the middle of the night saying that our time was over and we should go our separate ways"

 

[shineyourlight]

I've decided to take a 6-month job in Antarctica.

I'll go with you.

When I woke up, you was already gone
I slipped and fell in the water you left on

I'll make sure to mop it up next time.

I'm an introvert and don't like sharing my me time

We can be introverted together......

My children are allergic to you.

Give them allergy medicine.

Your last name begins with the wrong letter.

So, let me change my last name to yours.

 

[shineyourlight]

This is what my ex said when breaking up with me "God woke me up in the middle of the night saying that our time was over and we should go our separate ways"

Oy vey.

 

[LadyOfMystery]

Oy vey.

I have to admit, it was the most extravagant way of breaking up with me.

 

[Sophrosyne]

How bout my boyfriend doesn't like you?

 

[Radagast]

No smoke signals or pigeon service, either.

Feel free to send me pigeons. There will be no reply; I'll cook and eat them.

 

[Radagast]

This is what my ex said when breaking up with me "God woke me up in the middle of the night saying that our time was over and we should go our separate ways"

Eek!

 

[LadyOfMystery]

Eek!

I agree. This was 5 years ago, typing out his break up didn't give me any kind of feeling so I suppose I'm finally over it



Now I'm trying to think. I've never really given a guy a bad break up line. I mean I suppose they're all "bad" but I mean cringy type of reason. lol With this latest guy I dated I did send him a break up letter via snail mail with basically the equivalent of "it's not you, it's me" when it's... totally him.

 

[shineyourlight]

How bout my boyfriend doesn't like you?

Oh, snap. Or, "My husband told me I can't see you anymore."

Also, now the issue isn't breaking up, the issue is infidelity.

We gots problemz.

Feel free to send me pigeons. There will be no reply; I'll cook and eat them.

I'll cook it for you, duh.

I agree. This was 5 years ago, typing out his break up didn't give me any kind of feeling so I suppose I'm finally over it



Now I'm trying to think. I've never really given a guy a bad break up line. I mean I suppose they're all "bad" but I mean cringy type of reason. lol With this latest guy I dated I did send him a break up letter via snail mail with basically the equivalent of "it's not you, it's me" when it's... totally him.

That's when you know you're over it <3

 

[Radagast]

I'll cook it for you, duh.

OK, now you've got me worried.

Either you're my soul-mate, prepared to follow me to the remotest corners of the world to love and support me. Or else, you're that nightmare woman who doesn't understand the word "no," prepared to follow me to the remotest corners of the world and make my life hell.

I'm so glad that I've narrowed things down to just two options.

 

[Radagast]

I agree. This was 5 years ago, typing out his break up didn't give me any kind of feeling so I suppose I'm finally over it

Glad to hear it.

 

[shineyourlight]

OK, now you've got me worried.

Either you're my soul-mate, prepared to follow me to the remotest corners of the world to love and support me. Or else, you're that nightmare woman who doesn't understand the word "no," prepared to follow me to the remotest corners of the world and make my life hell.

I'm so glad that I've narrowed things down to just two options.

You're just saying no because you obviously really like me and just conflicted in your emotions.

 

[Radagast]

You're just saying no because you obviously really like me and just conflicted in your emotions.

No doubt.

 

[Rigatoni]

"It's not you it's me.....im just too awesome for you."

 

[Sophrosyne]

How about I can't see you tonight, I'm appearing on the dating game on tv.

 

[shineyourlight]

If any of these were seriously said to me, I would probably cry and eat chocolate.

 

[Radagast]

If any of these were seriously said to me, I would probably cry and eat chocolate.

I would hold back the tears and share a bottle of bourbon with a friend.

 

[Sophrosyne]

If any of these were seriously said to me, I would probably cry and eat chocolate.

Not if their parents told you that they eloped with their fiance with all your chocolate.

 

[shineyourlight]

I would hold back the tears and share a bottle of bourbon with a friend.

You and I can just drink the bourbon.

 

[Radagast]

You and I can just drink the bourbon.

Honey, I'd fly over and take you up on that offer ...

... except that we have this lockdown thing going on, and are banned from leaving the country.