Becoming physically ill from crying

[Angeleyes7715]

I've begun to get so upset over things and there is no solution and no help so I cry until I'm sick. It's not my plan but this is what's been happening. And I'm scared this will eventually kill me. I feel like God left me to suffer and gave me this miserable life on this horrible planet. I'm tired of suffering and being tortured everyday. And all other people do is harass and treat me like my problems are unimportant. I'm tired.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

I've begun to get so upset over things and there is no solution and no help so I cry until I'm sick. It's not my plan but this is what's been happening. And I'm scared this will eventually kill me. I feel like God left me to suffer and gave me this miserable life on this horrible planet. I'm tired of suffering and being tortured everyday. And all other people do is harass and treat me like my problems are unimportant. I'm tired.

Don't do this angel. The only thing we can do is do our very best, which you have done..youre a smart girl and have accomplished a lot, and let God do his part.

He hasnt left you. I promise... If he didnt leave me he hasnt and wont leave u

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

I'm sending a virtual hug your way... I know how its like to feel tired..I think when u get some sleep you'll feel better.

Why dont you treat yourself to a spa day or just go out or relax doing those will make u feel better.

 

[Celticroots]

What type of insurance do you have? You can often look online to try and find a therapist who takes your insurance. I'd just type your city/town and state. On some sites to help you find a therapist, you can narrow down your search to those who only take your insurance.

 

[teresa]

god bless you

 

[teresa]

praying for you

 

[teresa]

another strategy:

set up a locked twitter account so that only you can read the tweets you sign up for and no one else can read them or bother you.

sign up to follow positive christian saying and inspirational quotes for example, and read that good stuff every day or time you get bummed.

its like your own personal web page and you are totally in charge of it, with total privacy.

this is like having an emergency back up safety place to go to for help.

 

[Rescued One]

Everyone's problems matter. That's why the Lord wants us to have compassion.

Even Jesus cried when He was sad:

Luke 19
41And when he was come near, he beheld the city, and wept over it, 42Saying, If thou hadst known, even thou, at least in this thy day, the things which belong unto thy peace! but now they are hid from thine eyes. 43For the days shall come upon thee, that thine enemies shall cast a trench about thee, and compass thee round, and keep thee in on every side, 44And shall lay thee even with the ground, and thy children within thee; and they shall not leave in thee one stone upon another; because thou knewest not the time of thy visitation.

John 11
35Jesus wept.

Hebrews 5
7Who in the days of his flesh, when he had offered up prayers and supplications with strong crying and tears unto him that was able to save him from death, and was heard in that he feared; 8Though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered;

Sometimes when we're feeling so miserable, we can read the Psalms, other times we need a nap, and other times we have to force our minds to think of good things.

Philippians 4
8Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

 

[teresa]

angel eyes

here are some survival tools for until you get a therapist or doctor

• Reach out – Call an understanding friend or someone you can trust.
• Find a ‘safe place’ – This place is somewhere that you choose where you absolutely refuse to have a destructive incident. This can be in a park, a room in your house or even a chair.
• Breathe – Take three slow, deep breaths (count slowly to four while breathing in, six breathing out).
• Count – slowly count to ten.
• Pray – Pray to God for strength.
• Turn it over – Turn your addiction, your will, your life over to the care of God.
• Ice bucket – Immersing your hand in a bucket of ice can help. The shock of the cold will provide enough of a ‘jolt’ without causing physical scarring. Holding on to an ice-cold can of drink works too, and it’s a lot more convenient.
• Cry – Cry if you want to. If you can (and don’t worry if you can’t).
• Feel – Acknowledge and feel your emotions, any emotions, instead of feeling numb.
• Write – You can write in a journal, on paper, or on the computer. You may choose to write a letter or e-mail to a friend or write scattered words, poetry, or words to a song.
• Listen – Listen to music or just to silence.
• Draw – Draw your feelings, draw anything. Colors are good for emotional expression! Go and get a box of crayons and start drawing…it will at least put you in a better mood. (Remember how much fun you had in kindergarten?).
• Use non-harmful alternatives – Use non-toxic red marking pens to write on yourself (instead of cutting).
• Let it out – Break sticks or throw a tennis ball against a wall…hard. Let your frustration out on it instead.
• Love your pets – Spend quality time with your cat, dog, or other pet. They will give you unconditional love .
• Eat something – Eat something that you like and can get enthusiastic about, such as ice-cream or a healthy treat like fresh strawberries. (But remember to stay away from caffeine when emotionally escalated!).
• Add comfort – Put on a soft, warm, comforting shirt or jacket. (Flannel or fleece are warm and snuggly).
• Help somebody else – When was the last time you gave a homeless person some money? Bring food over to someone who is sick. Visit an elderly person who is alone; read to a blind child; volunteer at a hospital, AIDS hospice or homeless shelter. You can find numbers for all of these in your local telephone book or on the internet.
• Clean the house – Vacuum and dust. Clean out your closet and give your old clothes to a charitable organization.
• Walk – Take a walk outside, or around the block. The fresh air and sunshine will help.
• Physical exercise – Sports, working out, walking, running, bike riding, etc. will give you energy and the endorphin release will do you good!
• Go shopping – Keep in mind that window-shopping can be just as good and cheaper .
• Exercise your brain – Do crossword puzzles or solve complex math problems.
• Focus – Do some kind of focused, absorbing visual type of work or craft. Eg. kitting, embroidery or a jigsaw puzzle.
• Read – Read a good book. Go to a library or bookstore and browse.
• Spend quality time with a child – Read, play, draw, color – have fun! Children are generally happy and light-hearted and enjoyable to be around.
• Go to a movie – Go to a movie or watch a DVD (but make sure it’s not triggering or violent).
• Socialize – Do some type of fun social activity with people you like (even if you don’t feel like it at the time).
• Embrace religion – Go to a church or similar where you can keep God as your focus.
• Go out into nature – Go to the mountains, the beach or the woods. Look at the sunset, or look up at the stars in the sky at night. Take in the things around you.
• Walk away – Remove yourself immediately from a negative situation. Walk away from a heated argument. Leave the party if people start using illegal drugs.
• Be productive – Balance your checkbook, finish your homework, etc. The positive reinforcement or accomplishing something will help you feel better.
• Make a list – Make a list such as “Goals for my future” or “Things to look forward to”.
• Do some writing exercises – Think of some things to write about, or use the following:
  • Negative beliefs and positive alternatives
  • Gratitude
  • Journaling/life writings
  • Reasons to get better
  • My goals and aspirations
  • Controlling my anger
  • How self-injury has harmed me
  • My ideal day
  • Things I like to do and things I look forward to
• Drive or ride – Take a long, peaceful drive, or ride around on the subways, buses or trains.
• Go to an art gallery – Visual stimuli can be very helpful.
• Improve your appearance – Experiment with different looks. Get a hair cut or style it differently. Experiment with clothes and fashion.
• Relax – take a nap.
• Have an attitude of gratitude – Even if you don’t feel grateful at the moment, start with the basics. Eg. “I have a roof over my head; I have food on my table; I have two arms and two legs and can walk and can see”. Don’t add any “but”s to those sentences.
• Sing – Sing out loud. The endorphin release will do you good.
• Dance – Find somewhere with live music or dance in your own living room.
• Cook – Cook or bake something you like, for yourself or for someone else.
• Look at photographs – Look at photo albums or pictures of happy times you’ve had.
• Search the web – Search the Internet for a fun topic that captures your interest. (Have you ever wanted to go to Egypt?)
• Take a shower or a bath – This is a good way to relax and relieve tension.

(This is taken from Secret Scars: Uncovering and Understanding the Addiction of Self-Injury by V.J. Turner (2002))

 

[MyGivenNameIsKeith]

We love you. More importantly God loves you. You are part of his family, just like us. God knows the number of hairs on your head. He puts your tears in a bottle. He is your loving Father. I was once in a really horrible place myself, and I too became physically sick. I went to the hospital and had no money for the prescriptions or anything and the people there pitched in and paid for my prescriptions to get me better. They showed me love when I thought there was none. Then my dad started going to church, so I went with him. Then God showed me an entire congregation of people who loved me and cared about me. I went from being alone and sick and miserable to having more love in my life than I know what to do with. I know and trust the God that did it for me, will do this for you. He is by your side even now. If you haven't been to a church in a while, try going. There are more people who care about you than you realize.
Your brother, in Christ, Keith.

 

[teresa]

Angeleyes, when feeling anxiety here aer some coping ideas:

Grounding When Triggered—Things to Do

Trauma, PTSD, & Dissociation Resources"]Trauma, PTSD, & Dissociation Resources

Be compassionate and patient with yourself
Bite into a lemon to use the sour taste to force you into the here and now
Call a friend who knows about your trauma and triggers and is a safe person
Call your therapist
Carry a small object (such as a colorful/irregular rock), and use it for tactile and sight grounding
Create a “safe place” in your mind, then utilize it when triggered
Deep breath
Find a physical activity to participate in
Focus on the here and now the best you can
Have supportive person remind you it’s a flashback and not happening right now—it’s a memory
Hold on to something cold like a bag of vegetables or an ice cube
Identify and name things you touch
Identify and name things you hear
Identify and name things you see
Identify and name where you are physically—what building, what room
Look at the date and time on your computer
Keep a small container of play-doh available to smell and manipulate
Play with your jewelry
Play or pet your dog or cat
Pray
Put a cold cloth on your face or neck
Put on soothing music that is from today, not the past, or loud music that will bring you into today
Remind yourself this will pass—it’s a memory
Replace negative statements that you identify with some positive ones
Smell perfume or a candle or another scented object
Snuggle a stuffed animal
Squish a stress ball
Suck on a piece of hard candy
Take a shower (hot or cold)
Take time to recover
Try to identify the trigger so you can address it specifically
Try to avoid blaming yourself for what you did or did not do during the trauma
Try to move your arms and legs instead of staying dissociated and stuck
Try to remind yourself the worst is over because the trauma was the worst
Use positive affirmations
Use a lot of self-talk—remind yourself that you are safe now
Use visualization to regroup and focus on something besides the triggers
Use your creative skills—draw, write, scribble, etc.
Wear something all the time that is from the present only, not from the past, and then touch it and remind yourself it’s from the present.
Wrap up in a blanket, mimicking someone holding you

 

[teresa]

praying

 

[Angeleyes7715]

Thank you all for the good suggestions. I'm going to try to incorporate them. I at least know running kind of helps. I'm thinking of getting a heavy bag or something too. I'm still very scared of antidepressants because of what they did to my mother but I'm coping with the fact I really might have her disease.

Or maybe it's 100% spiritual. Last time I cried it was a small thing a small argument with my bf and it reminded me of everything that upsets me and it blew up into something huge. Then I found myself in another room screaming and praying and crying at the top of my lungs angry at God. Asking why did he leave me here to rot on this planet. Why does he let people spend their lives here getting old just waiting to die always suffering. My bf didn't understand. Until I finally could tell him I was angry at God for giving me this hell on Earth for a life. He seemed disturbed and just told me to pray and he quoted a scripture.

Who really knows. Maybe my depression is just bitterness and resentment over my existence. I don't feel angry at God when I think about it, but maybe subconsciously I am.