Anger..

[MehGuy]

Does anyone here have problems dealing with anger?

I do. And I don't think I've realized it to any great extent until recently.

Makes me sad at times, because I've lost a lot of friends due to my anger and sometimes I feel bad about lashing out.

Not sure what I can do about it. I think it's how some people's brain are wired. Especially those who experience high emotional empathy.

 

[John Hyperspace]

Personally, it's super rare for me to experience anger. It will take something like a bully viciously picking on the defenseless that will incite anger, and then it can get scary if I don't reign it in. But generally, I'm really peaceful. It's one of those things, much like hate, that it's so alien to me that at one time I wondered how anger and hate could exist at all in anyone. But the more I go along, it seems that these problems aren't really voluntary. A person can't just will/choose themselves to love or hope or not to get angry. It comes some other way.

 

[MehGuy]

Personally, it's super rare for me to experience anger. It will take something like a bully viciously picking on the defenseless that will incite anger, and then it can get scary if I don't reign it in. But generally, I'm really peaceful. It's one of those things, much like hate, that it's so alien to me that at one time I wondered how anger and hate could exist at all in anyone. But the more I go along, it seems that these problems aren't really voluntary. A person just just will/choose themselves to love or hope or not to get angry. It comes some other way.

Yeah, my mother's side is filled with extremely bitter and angry people. I've been like that every since I could remember. When I was a kid adults would comment about it saying things like "You're like 8, what do you have to be so angry about?"

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

.

 

[CodyFaith]

Sometimes. I think it goes with my mental illness in some ways though. I get stressed out easier then some and if I'm stressed out I usually get angry. I have a lot to carry.
Typically I'm pretty happy/chill though.

I hardly ever lash out when I'm angry, and even the times I do it's never violent and never would be. That's when you have real issues imo, is if you become violent when you're angry.

 

[rturner76]

Anger is usually a secondary emotion. It comes after another emotion, usually fear or resentment. We don't feel the fear or resentment because we go past it to anger so fast in our response. There are other emotions it comes after too and it can exist all alone but 4 out of 5 times it is following something. If you can try to be aware of the triggering emotion, it can become easier to diffuse the anger before it gets ramped up

 

[timewerx]

Does anyone here have problems dealing with anger?

I do. And I don't think I've realized it to any great extent until recently.

Makes me sad at times, because I've lost a lot of friends due to my anger and sometimes I feel bad about lashing out.

Not sure what I can do about it. I think it's how some people's brain are wired. Especially those who experience high emotional empathy.

I had the same problem in my twenties.

I guess with age and experience and calamities it goes away.

 

[TheGirlOnFire]

I have been accused by one or two Person of anger but I think that's because I have hit a nerve more like! I get passionate and yes at times I can have the feeling of anger (jesus did as well he made cords into whips and flipped tables over ) but I don't abuse my anger or do it because I am jealous or bitter! Whenever I get angry it hurts me because the issue hurts my soul! But also I can forgive easily I think anger becomes a issue when you do it all the time and when you let the issues or the person build up inside you that it destroys who you are!

TBH am like a big marshmallow and I just get passionate about topics but I don't hate anyone over anything

 

[Sketcher]

Yes, I have a problem with it.

 

[Saucy]

99% of the time I'm a big ole teddy bear. I can be passionate about the things I believe in, but my main goal in life is to love others and serve their needs. Unless you mess with my family, friends, and loves ones, or when used righteously like Christ did, anger is mostly a useless emotion to me.

 

[Orange Crow]

I very rarely get angry. I agree with @rturner76, and I have experienced it that way once or twice, but normally I am trying to avoid being angry or it just doesn't happen at all, that I rather want to avoid conflict and forgive or react differently to the person/thing. Reacting that way also helps me to stay positive in the moment and I end up not being angry at all.

 

[Swan7]

The struggle with anger is very real, especially among my family. Growing up I was too busy taking the heat from all sides. Then as I was into my twenties, I noticed a little more anger was being shown and it very much became stronger in my late 20's to the point of bitterness.

I think it all just came out when all I could do was hold it in for years, but that was very short lived because I knew I couldn't live that way, my anger would have killed me quite literally. There's something about God's peace when you ask for it, it certainly humbles you. He certainly did that for me when I repented as asked.
Ask and you shall receive.

 

[rturner76]

I think anger is a perfectly healthy, natural, even rational response when we feel frustrated, attacked, threatened, or powerless. It is how you deal with anger that is the real issue.

Even if you are someone who blows their top and acts out when angry, there is hope for you. It takes practice but it's about paying attention to your body's reaction to what is happening. Even if you don't realize you are getting angry, your body will give you some clues: tension, a muscles tightening, uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach, breaking out in a sweat, heart pounding, and shallow breathing etc. You could even a headache. Most likely, all of these things will happen without you noticing anything more than being irritated.

This is a good time to call time out and walk away from the situation, take a breath and just let your body and senses get back to normal. Depending on how amped up you are, and what you are doing, you could even just let it go all together if it isn't something important or if you are at peace with yourself enough to not have to get in the last word or "win." It's not easy and takes time and work however.

Sometimes though you must have difficult conversations with people around delicate matters. For instance the care of a family member.maybe one wants to put them in a facility and one wants to take care of the family member at home. Both have their reasons and they cannot avoid this subject all together if they are the only remaining family. Paying attention to those physical cues would be valuable in a discussion like that. One could ask to take a break and come back to it rather than blow their top by catching it early.

 

[blackribbon]

I usually don't but find in me unreasonable anger is a symptom of untreated depression.

 

[sundewgrower]

It's almost impossible to get me angry and if so I'll bail then get over it.
However, I've been dealing with somebody whom I loaned money to and tossed me away with the friendship. That perturbs me and if I had the opportunity to even it out I suppose I'd be hard-pressed to not consider it.
But letting it go is best--so I am since I'm upset and she's not so I better get over else it'll eat me over the long haul.

 

[Noxot]

most of the time i'm not angry, thank God. I find myself getting angry when I feel trapped and in a stressful situation where the environment is chaotic or unjust. it is then fed by a combination of my perceptions of how things ought to be going and how I feel others are treating me. + there is that factor of the past things people have said or things that occurred to me related to the stressful situation... which of course triggers the other connections in my brain and body related to all of that stuff such as the part of my brain that deals with instances of what bad things might occur because of the situation. it might also have to do with what I feel my life should be like as opposed to how it is and also related to why my life can't be such and such due to such and such conditions of other people, myself, and the world in general.

certain belief structures about what is good and what is evil tend to trigger intense emotions such as anger when in disagreement with another. one such instance that I am sure that most can relate to would be the topic of abortion. many people can't be calm about such things. perhaps in part this is due to that thing being so important to you and if others are also not like you then you might feel that there is a possible threat or maybe you have a instinct to attempt to dominate via angry feelings over that which you find to be unlawful and unruly. that which you can not control is a possible threat or a sense of loss of being in the safety of your like-minded tribe. an disagreeable being might want to kill you. i.e. wild animal showing aggression towards you.

we evolved to have the ability to have anger and so I think that it has its uses. too much will hurt your body and shorten your life. anger is a subpersonality but it should not possess you and control your life. like muscles, you can build up things in your brain and body. the brain is amazing! some of the little systems it has are older than trees. I bet dna is a factor to this too... epigenetics seems to imply such. emotions are truly old... apparently even lobsters have some form of emotional capacity... yawn... something something hypothalamus... right side of brain.... kitty cat meow meow ectect.... integration of the shadow is key....

 

[Cearbhall]

Not sure what I can do about it. I think it's how some people's brain are wired.

I do, too. My sister and I have always been very different emotionally, from the time we were toddlers. She struggled with anger and aggression. I never did.

You could talk to a therapist or a psychologist if it's something that really impacts your life in a negative way. There are probably medications that could help.

 

[sundewgrower]

I'm finding it's not anger but what there is readily converts to negativity and depression--I want to get over something but thus far it's not blown over.

 

[Hate&Rage]

I certainly do. I can transition from 0 to monster in just seconds. There are certain trigger points. Brought up by strict and controlling parents who whooped the heck out of me if I did anything wrong, and I grew very quiet as a kid despite how they made me a high achiever. It became an oxymoron of sorts; everyone looked down on me although I was academically and athletically inclined. Seems that being quiet attracted lots of microagressions. People think you can't fight back and that you aren't capable.

So now every time I sense condescension, I explode pretty quickly. My rage is spiteful, poisonous, destructive, and makes me feel I have a genuine mental disorder. Once I was so angry I stood in the middle of a highway at midnight. I feel so alone in my rage. In my rage I feel God has abandoned me.

 

[Left]

I've built up a lot of patience. I used to want to throw my phone in a body of water upon some texts I used to get, to ruin the phone and not be texted again. But I don't have to worry about that now. Either that or I have gotten cheap and realized how much cell phones cost.