abusive boyfriend...

[Metal Minister]

but i keep thinking that he will love me and he will want to be with me...i just i have to go back and find out if he wants me...he said he is sorry i just want him to love me an the baby so we can be happy together...

Sweetie, he is lying. You will never be happy, and you'll be putting you and your baby at risk. Please listen to lotus and the others speaking to you here. I have to go for a bit, so please talk with them. They'll help you!

May God Richly Bless You! MM

 

[Catherineanne]

but i keep thinking that he will love me and he will want to be with me...i just i have to go back and find out if he wants me...he said he is sorry i just want him to love me an the baby so we can be happy together...

No. You can never be happy together.

I am sorry, dearest sister, but that is not going to happen. Many of us have been where you are; we too have hoped and prayed, and thought that we could change the other person. Many of us have ended up getting hurt.

There are patterns to abuse, but there are some things that they have in common. Here is a link that might help you. It would be better if you had someone to talk to, face to face, but failing that, this may help.

Domestic Violence and Abuse: Signs of Abuse and Abusive Relationships

Your abuser is not going to change for the better. All the chances are, he will get worse.

You must protect your own life, and you must protect the life of your unborn child. You are its only hope. And your child may well be your only hope.

Do not go back.

 

[Catherineanne]

Look in particular at the cycle of abuse; there is a fantasy stage. This is what your abuser is trying to get you to buy into at present, so that you will go back.

The fantasy is not real. The abuse is real.

This shows where to go for help:

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_help_treatment_prevention.htm#help

 

[somescarsneverheal]

I have to go back..He wont hurt me agian.

 

[Catherineanne]

I have to go back..He wont hurt me agian.

That is not true. He will hurt you again.

He cannot stop hurting you, because that is all that he knows; all that he can do. He will set you up and he will hurt you again, and again and again.

Please, call the helpline. I can't do this from the other side of the ocean, and in writing. You need a woman to speak to, who will be able to connect with you in a way that I cannot.

Just one phone call. What harm can it do? You have said that you feel alone, and yet many of us have tried to help you. Perhaps you still feel alone, but you are isolating yourself from those who could help. You are choosing your abuser over those who want to help you. I can understand why you do this; I have been there myself. But there is no future unless this man changes, and he will not change.

My husband damaged my health so much that I am now disabled and unable to work. I thought he could change too. I took five years before realising he could not, and in the process my health was damaged beyond repair.

I know what I am talking about. Don't go back.

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

I have to go back..He wont hurt me agian.

Please don't take that risk.

 

[SiyoNqoba]

If you go back, he will. And he will hurt your baby.

You deserve better then that. Please don't go back.

 

[Keachian]

I have to go back..He wont hurt me agian.

You don't have to go back, please, please sister call a hotline and talk with someone. If he has hurt you in the past he will do so again and your child which will love and need you will likely be hurt as well

 

[somescarsneverheal]

It doesnt matter ill be fine..im sorry i bothered you all.

 

[Keachian]

It doesnt matter ill be fine..im sorry i bothered you all.

You are not bothering me please tell me what's going on

 

[Catherineanne]

It doesnt matter ill be fine..im sorry i bothered you all.

You will be fine if you stay where you are, with your aunt.

You are not bothering us; you are our sister in faith and we care very much what happens to you.

Please, ring the number on the link I gave you. What harm can it do to speak to someone? I promise you they will understand everything, including why you want to go back.

Please think carefully.

 

[Metal Minister]

I have to go back..He wont hurt me agian.

Sweetie, this is the exact same thing my cousin said about her boyfriend. And yet he hurt her time and again...until he dislocated their babies elbow. She couldn't hide what he'd done then, and I will fall you its only by the grace of God that one of us in the family didn't end his life. Bit now, she's married to an incredible man, who loves her, and her daughter from that (my Christianity forbids me from calling him what he is) and they have a beautiful son together. God has someone like that for you, so please hold on. You can see how many of us here are praying for you and want to help. Please give God a chance to work in your life!

May God Richly Bless You! MM

 

[Metal Minister]

It doesnt matter ill be fine..im sorry i bothered you all.

Oh kiddo, you aren't bothering us! We want to help you! That's what people do!

May God Richly Bless You! MM

 

[somescarsneverheal]

No. no one will ever be able to love me becosue im nothing. and I dont have a faimly who cares like your cousin does...hes all i have...

 

[Metal Minister]

No. no one will ever be able to love me becosue im nothing. and I dont have a faimly who cares like your cousin does...hes all i have...

Sweetheart that's that @%$*#&@%@ talking! You are NOT nothing! You have people here who are telling you that! Please listen! If you don't have family to be upset, then I'll tell you this...the police will be upset when they find out! I know a few police officers, and they do not take kindly to males who abuse women! Please believe me when I say you're safer now with your aunt that loved you enough to let you move in than you could ever be with him...

May God Richly Bless You! MM

 

[rowantree]

I love you and your baby. I haven't even met you, but I love both of you. I wish I was where you are, and I would hug the both of you and try to help you.

I understand your crying, and feeling so alone, and needing to be loved. It must be an absolutely AWFUL time for you. I am praying for you right now and hugging you over the miles (I am in the U.K.) I wish and wish and wish that there was something I could do to help. But whatever you do, please please stay in contact with these good people in here. Please try to contact one of those helplines or some relative (is there ANYONE in your family whom you could contact? ) Also yes, a good idea is a pastor or minister of some kind. Please please go on reaching out. Someone, somewhere, will help you and LOVE YOU AND YOUR BABY.

I want to send you all the love in the world from here in the U.K. I will go on praying for you, and sending love vibes over the ocean. You take care and please stay in touch with us here. God bless you. Lots of love and safe gentle hugs to you. xx

 

[rowantree]

Sweetheart, you are NOT nothing. You are very precious and so is that baby of yours. I am so sorry that you do not have any family. Please tell someone about this - as Metal says, please tell the police. THEY will care and they will help you. Please please try to reach out. I know it is hard. I know it is easier to go back to the abusive boyfriend, but it will only get worse, and your little baby will suffer too. Please try to reach out to someone - some helpline or pastor or the police. WE love you.

 

[ann216]

good leave him protect that baby thats what i did plus jesus told me too

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

Even if you have no person in the world that loves you at this moment, you have God's love and one day you will have the baby -- you will be that baby's whole world. Also, if you leave this guy and take the time to heal, learn what REAL love is, learn who you are, and be confident in yourself, it is very likely that one day you will find a man who will show you the right kind of love. This relationship is NOT love. It is NOT all that you can have or all that you will ever be. I was in an abusive relationship about ten years ago. I left the guy, moved back in with my parents, went through a grieving process, and took a LONG hiatus from dating in which I went to school and got two degrees and also started going to church and Bible studies. I am now in my third year of marriage to a wonderful husband. Right now, you are brainwashed by the things this guy has said about you for all this time. You will go through a process of healing before you begin to realize your real worth again. Don't give up. Stay away from him. Keep your baby. There will be so much regret if you end the life of your little one. Praying for you

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

Also, did you get back with your BF or are you away from him now? Have you managed to go to a doctor yet? Are you on prenatal vitamins? If no to these, has anyone directed you to resources for counseling, shelters, and/or prenatal care?