Im staying with my aunt right now....im haveing thoughts on if i should get an abortion...
Oh, sweetie, having an abortion won't right a wrong situation. If you are not in a position to where you can take care of a child at this point in your life, please look into a pregnancy resource center. They won't judge you and they can give you the assistance you need to get through this pregnancy. Many will help you get a job or finish your education. And, if you decide to go with an adoption, they can help with that as well.
I'm estranged from my abusive husband. It's so hard. I was so lonely and so scared after he left, even though I knew it was what needed to happen for my son and I to be safe and have some peace finally. But it's still so hard. I cannot imagine if I had also been pregnant while this was going on.
Something you will learn about yourself through this is that you're stronger than you ever imagined. When I was with my husband, I felt that I was worthless. That I'd never amount to much of anything and that I needed him to feel a sense of purpose and completion. Come to find out, that's not true!
Do not go back to him. Once an abuser knows they have you where they want you, they know they can get away with just about anything. The only way to stop the abuse is to walk away and never, ever look back.
He will try to abuse you even though you are gone. My ex tries to play mind games with me, but I'm smarter than he ever gave me credit for. Your ex will likely try and tell you he's sorry. He might even cry or give you gifts/flowers. The only way to keep him from messing with your head is to go to the county courthouse and file for a temporary protective order. In most states they do not cost money and you do not need an attorney to petition the judge for one. You simply go before the judge and say you are being abused, give some specific examples and the judge will usually grant you the TPO. And if your aunt has witnessed the abuse or seen marks on you then ask her to go as your witness. The judge will want at least two specific examples of abuse and the extent of the worst incident of abuse. They will also ask if your boyfriend has any weapons (guns, knives, etc.).
After the judge grants your petition a sheriff will serve your boyfriend with a subpoena to show up in court. He is legally allowed to tell his side of the story, but I can assure you, it typically has zero bearing on you being granted the protective order. It's really just a legal dog and pony show so nobody can be held liable.
The TPO will give you the opportunity to have him arrested should he try and make contact with you. That gives you time to sort out your living situation and whatever you decide to do in regards to your pregnancy.
I'm praying for you, sister. We're in a similar boat, so I know what you're going through. It's scary, but nowhere near as scary as simply existing as an abuser's play toy the rest of your days.
