You've made some really good points that really resonate with my thinking lately this past week.
Find sane people to talk to. Sane people help you to be sane. They're helpful,
I have found that unfortunately a lot of the friendships that I have are people that are on the mental edge. The pandemic really brought this out and revealed the type of people that are in my life. At the same time some of these relationships that I have tried to let go, somehow they re-materialize. But I do think it is God's will for these friendships to exist in my life. I do have some solid healthy people, but they don't live in the same town unfortunately. Hopefully when I find a home Church, I can establish those relationships.
Don't expect sane people to volunteer to marry you, immediately.
This is an interesting point to think on. Some food for thought when the next person goes really fast with me.
Marriage really can be overrated if you are married to someone who isn't sane (see the first point).
Yes, in retrospect, when I was dating a guy a year ago and he began to distance himself, I began to think in my mind that I would need to start talking to a therapist for this relationship to work. He himself was on medication for temper problems and his marriage ended because he was tired of working with a therapist for 15 years and said he was done.
Another gentleman lately that I am having trouble getting out of my head, I told him goodbye, but I am still intrigued by him and he is seeing a therapist for his last marriage. Both of them I think come from backgrounds with money.
Right now I'm reading a book about the Vanderbilts. The story of their beginnings is just crazy. Literally the beginnings of their wealth the father and husband controlled his family by sending them to mental institutions to get his way. But he absolutely loved his mother above his wife. The wife definitely had to put up with a lot from what I read. And in the 1800s I think marriage was more about the survival than I was romanticism as we have today.
would abandon overly romantic notions of relationships. Romantic moments can be nice, but they don't measure up to romantic fiction and really we shot ourselves in the foot, culturally, by setting
I think I can agree with this.
- it's considered a vocation for a majority of christians.
- America is a little crazy
Good choice of words for Christians considering marriage as a vocation. I never thought about it until these last two years I've met good godly Christian men that said that they would see marriage as being a servant. And one told me that he considered my compromised immune system and opportunity to be a servant if he was to marry me. At the same time those were just words, actions speak louder. Which takes time to get to know.
opening yourself up to meeting people of a variety of cultures who, having perhaps immigrated here, are not quite so indoctrinated by our expectations and generally bad ideas.
This is also an interesting point. And possibly including the Amish.