‘No Blacks’ Is Not a Sexual Preference. It’s Racism

[Dave-W]

Attaching moral meaning to sexual attraction is about the same level to me as attaching it to taste in other things like food.

And yet many churches still attach moral meaning to attraction. In some cases ANY attraction period.

The congregation I attended in college said if you were sexually attracted to anyone [other than your spouse AFTER you were married] you were guilty of lust and perversion. That included your fiancee. They broke up a few engagements on those grounds.

 

[Sketcher]

And yet many churches still attach moral meaning to attraction. In some cases ANY attraction period.

The congregation I attended in college said if you were sexually attracted to anyone [other than your spouse AFTER you were married] you were guilty of lust and perversion. That included your fiancee. They broke up a few engagements on those grounds.

How are people supposed to get married in that church? This seems self-defeating.

 

[Dave-W]

How are people supposed to get married in that church? This seems self-defeating.

Many marriages ended up being arranged by the elder board. But they would not have admitted that.

It was SUPPOSED to be that if a guy felt an EMOTIONAL ROMANTIC feeling for someone, and it would not go away with prayer and fasting that you were supposed to talk to your home group leader who talked to the elder that oversaw your set of home groups, who in turn talked to the elder who oversaw HER set of home groups who then talked to that home group leader who talked to his wife who would talk to the young lady. She may not even know who you are. But, after an introduction (assuming that no one vetoed the process) and she was willing, it started a (max) 6 months supervised courtship. If at the end you both believed it to be the lord to get married, then you got engaged and started planning the wedding (usually about another 6 months).

What they told us all in choosing a marriage partner was to find someone that brought on strong romantic feelings but no sexual feelings.

 

[variant]

And yet many churches still attach moral meaning to attraction. In some cases ANY attraction period.

The congregation I attended in college said if you were sexually attracted to anyone [other than your spouse AFTER you were married] you were guilty of lust and perversion. That included your fiancee. They broke up a few engagements on those grounds.

In my opinion, there is plenty of good reason to ignore what certain institutions say about certain things.

In this case there is absolutely nothing wrong with basic human instincts for sexual attraction, which can and should be a healthy and productive part of peoples lives.

 

[variant]

Sexual attraction can be extremely superficial, short-term, anyway. Some people pretty up while others uglify as you get to know them.

Right but we're talking about that "first impression" which is extremely superficial, whether or not you like them as a person or are capable of emotional intimacy with them is the longer term more important step.

 

[Dave-W]

In my opinion, there is plenty of good reason to ignore what certain institutions say about certain things

True. But if you did not agree to abide by their rules you were kicked out of the church.

 

[variant]

True. But if you did not agree to abide by their rules you were kicked out of the church.

At least we've moved beyond religious violence directed at the uncooperative.

Why people like hanging around other people who think their very humanity is wrong is beyond me.

 

[Sketcher]

Many marriages ended up being arranged by the elder board. But they would not have admitted that.

It was SUPPOSED to be that if a guy felt an EMOTIONAL ROMANTIC feeling for someone, and it would not go away with prayer and fasting that you were supposed to talk to your home group leader who talked to the elder that oversaw your set of home groups, who in turn talked to the elder who oversaw HER set of home groups who then talked to that home group leader who talked to his wife who would talk to the young lady. She may not even know who you are. But, after an introduction (assuming that no one vetoed the process) and she was willing, it started a (max) 6 months supervised courtship. If at the end you both believed it to be the lord to get married, then you got engaged and started planning the wedding (usually about another 6 months).

What they told us all in choosing a marriage partner was to find someone that brought on strong romantic feelings but no sexual feelings.

Ugh. So it was a cult then.

 

[Dave-W]

Ugh. So it was a cult then.

Not sure it was a full blown cult; but it certainly had some cultish tendencies.

 

[DaisyDay]

Right but we're talking about that "first impression" which is extremely superficial, whether or not you like them as a person or are capable of emotional intimacy with them is the longer term more important step.

True, but that if you have a good experience with a given person, you're likely to be attracted to others who resemble them. Worse yet, we often attribute qualities of characters in movies or tv show to people who resemble them in looks.

 

[Chad Farwell]

Attraction and Preference only limit Preference and Attraction