• Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.

  • CF has always been a site that welcomes people from different backgrounds and beliefs to participate in discussion and even debate. That is the nature of its ministry. In view of recent events emotions are running very high. We need to remind people of some basic principles in debating on this site. We need to be civil when we express differences in opinion. No personal attacks. Avoid you, your statements. Don't characterize an entire political party with comparisons to Fascism or Communism or other extreme movements that committed atrocities. CF is not the place for broad brush or blanket statements about groups and political parties. Put the broad brushes and blankets away when you come to CF, better yet, put them in the incinerator. Debate had no place for them. We need to remember that people that commit acts of violence represent themselves or a small extreme faction.

What's on your mind?

bèlla

❤️
Site Supporter
Jan 16, 2019
23,163
19,344
USA
✟1,127,964.00
Country
United States
Gender
Female
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
In Relationship
I did find a good police interrogation video!

Okay, start ‘splaining! Is this a guy thing or entertainment I’m missing? I watched cops years ago and cheaters too. Both were hilarious.
 
Upvote 0

bèlla

❤️
Site Supporter
Jan 16, 2019
23,163
19,344
USA
✟1,127,964.00
Country
United States
Gender
Female
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
In Relationship
but maybe singles, especially those who struggle getting dates, are just unnecessarily complicating it.

There’s something in today’s church culture about this subject that’s really depressing. I felt it when I was there and I’d dated in the past.

I did decide to continue reading it. Some things in it can be hard, but I thought since I'm doing okay right now, I am in the proper mood I can handle some of the harder things.

Good for you! The book I quoted from today starts with friendship and builds from there. He doesn’t assume you’ll meet someone on the street and become a couple. He teaches you how to build friendships that grow from that point into something more.

The book was teaching how dangerous it can be to get too attached too quick.

It is. You don’t know them yet. If they’re the wrong fit letting go is harder.

I see this a lot. Even in 'man is the head' type churches I see it all the time. Where women all sign-up for missionary work & men tend not to. It's an interesting phenomenon.

You're the first one I've heard & read bring it up. Though I've certainly noticed it.

He has some interesting concepts. The person I posted today is the same author. He’s the one I recommended for you. The incubation theory is powerful. I want to go deeper on it. Because he’s right. The church in my area is one of the few that still has prayer meetings. Most of the attendees are women and they’re prayer warriors.

Could be why a lot want to be missionary warriors.

On the mission field or with unsaved men? Interestingly on the latter, I never expected to find a ‘pastor’ in the pew. I felt we’re at different points in our walk and didn’t expect a man to be where I was. If he’s willing to learn and sincere God will get him there in time.

Some of the books have unrealistic standards for the opposite sex. Everyone is lacking somewhere. It compels you to disregard viable suitors. Because they don’t have every duck in a a row upon meeting.

Maybe that comes from my time in the world? In my experience most men are willing to meet a woman’s needs if she’s patient, willing to give him a chance and cut him some slack. He’s not an ogre.
 
Upvote 0

Sophrosyne

Let Your Light Shine.. Matt 5:16
Jun 21, 2007
163,215
64,198
In God's Amazing Grace
✟910,522.00
Gender
Male
Faith
Christian
Do you ever feel like your thoughts in your brain are askew. Like over little things and worrying what other people think... Or negative self put Downs ...and most likely the real resolution is getting sleep, hydration and some Godly perspective. Or maybe there needs to be resolution or a tweak in interactions & listening or just a disregard of the whispers from the enemy?
I do.

The other week a co-worker confided in me and that she sometimes feels she's on the cusp of depression... She seemed to have a big turn around the next day, even with little sleep. I really do take those things serious, as about 4 years ago there was somebody new that came to work with me. He was shadowing to be my next boss. After a month he took his life. Myself and my coworkers were so shocked, and we had spent the whole day in a vehicle with him, and there was no signs. It affected so many people. He had been a teacher before. I just pray that if that situation ever presents itself again, that I can be aware and know how to pray, what to say or how to give the information they need for help.
I experience stuff like this often, as my body gets out of whack chemically and/or stressed and often at times a spiritual attack occurs there are many spirits that can attack you one is a grieving spirit my mom warned me about once long before she died, there is a spirit of hopelessness, and one of fear (anxiety). It often is hard to recognize these attacks on us as either just being overwhelmed by circumstance or something that comes out of nowhere. I've known 3 people that committed suicide and I didn't see any of them coming. There are some spirits (demons) that I think can attack you that others have around them causing you to suffer similarly as they do too.
I've found that too often you get tricked into thinking too much about yourself than others and if things are not going really good you can be led down a path that leads to incredible hopelessness and despair.

I've known 2 people that have gotten so enamored of someone that rejection from the lead to their suicide, one was a Christian roommate the other a work friend that killed his GF and then himself leaving his baby an orphan.
People that are quiet sometimes are more fragile, while people who focus on themselves for excessive attention from others can also be led down the path of suicide by feeling too rejected.

I fought suicidal thoughts as a teen for a week, also have had them pop into my head out of nowhere on days I felt fine not a care in the world and a thought from nowhere said to me, nobody cares if you live or die just go ahead and slam into the main pillar of a bridge while doing 60 mph etc...... that boggled my mind and I knew it wasn't from me but someone else.
 
Upvote 0

DragonFox91

Well-Known Member
Dec 20, 2020
6,386
3,920
33
Grand Rapids MI
✟292,398.00
Country
United States
Gender
Male
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Republican
https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2022/06/02/yearbook-bully-kindness-cassandra-ridder/

Just a quick post. I found this article where a kid only got a couple yearbook signatures even tho he asked for more (they told him no), & how depressed he is b/c no friends, his mom shared the situation w/ some parents, & it motivated all the students to sign it .
As someone who was kind of in Brody's shoes, these stories always seem kind of fake to me, even tho you're supposed to be uplifted by them. I do like how the article says some of them are really trying to become his friend, like inviting him to hang out now. He looks like a nice kid. They are juniors & seniors & he's in 7th grade. Maybe they can help mentor him.
 
Upvote 0

bèlla

❤️
Site Supporter
Jan 16, 2019
23,163
19,344
USA
✟1,127,964.00
Country
United States
Gender
Female
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
In Relationship
I've known 2 people that have gotten so enamored of someone that rejection from the lead to their suicide, one was a Christian roommate the other a work friend that killed his GF and then himself leaving his baby an orphan.

Being here has taught me a lot. There’s a lot of suffering you never hear about. Hurts that aren’t addressed in sermons or groups. I’m glad you’re in a better place. :yellowheart:
 
Upvote 0

Sophrosyne

Let Your Light Shine.. Matt 5:16
Jun 21, 2007
163,215
64,198
In God's Amazing Grace
✟910,522.00
Gender
Male
Faith
Christian
Being here has taught me a lot. There’s a lot of suffering you never hear about. Hurts that aren’t addressed in sermons or groups. I’m glad you’re in a better place. :yellowheart:
I think more people are hurting now than ever with how messed up society is these days. I expect more people committing suicide than ever sadly. As for me..... I'm barely surviving lately not sure why I'm not insane yet.
 
Upvote 0

bèlla

❤️
Site Supporter
Jan 16, 2019
23,163
19,344
USA
✟1,127,964.00
Country
United States
Gender
Female
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
In Relationship
I think more people are hurting now than ever with how messed up society is these days. I expect more people committing suicide than ever sadly. As for me..... I'm barely surviving lately not sure why I'm not insane yet.

I think that’s true. It’s important to have much needed intervals of expulsion and renewal. There’s so much going on naturally and spiritually so that the volume can overwhelm and become oppressive. Breaks are beneficial. Taking the time to unplug and allow the period of nothingness is restorative.

When the pandemic hit I wasn’t here. I knew it would be on everyone’s lips and I needed to direct my thoughts elsewhere. Perhaps an escape is in order for you as well?
 
  • Friendly
Reactions: sampa
Upvote 0

sampa

Veteran
Oct 6, 2006
5,633
3,505
Midwest
✟134,323.00
Country
United States
Gender
Female
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Others
Good article. I see many levels that different friends go in and out of those categories for one reason or another.

Casual friends are not serious about each other emotionally. Their friendship is nourished by the pleasure they derive from shared interests.
These are my accountability partners for health. We share deep details of life, but it doesn't grow deeper outside of activity connection.

Close friendship is based on mutual life goals and friends at this level enjoy the freedom to suggest mutual projects towards reaching goals. Most
This too I have friends and coworkers that flow in and out of this.

The fourth and highest level of friendship is that of intimate friendship and fellowship, where friends are committed to the development
This one I have a handful. Either by our prayers for one another. 2 hour long conversations..making a deep connection..and at least one friend has taught me how to really carve out the time to get together and make the connection. We have oneutual brother in Christ and we have grown over the past 10 years in our care and friendship for one another. I'm grateful. Of course id like the best friend I can chat with everyday, but that seems like only an ideal when you throw work, family, kids and such in the mix. I've really been working hard at work by just asking and listening and engaging and Forgiving. Letting go of little things that have bothered me.. overlooking and moving on has been huge and getting to a better connection. It's hard ..but I'm a work in progress. Thanks Bella, again good topic to think on.

intimate friends share the same vision, the same life goals, and are walking in the same direction.
 
  • Like
Reactions: bèlla
Upvote 0

Sophrosyne

Let Your Light Shine.. Matt 5:16
Jun 21, 2007
163,215
64,198
In God's Amazing Grace
✟910,522.00
Gender
Male
Faith
Christian
I think that’s true. It’s important to have much needed intervals of expulsion and renewal. There’s so much going on naturally and spiritually so that the volume can overwhelm and become oppressive. Breaks are beneficial. Taking the time to unplug and allow the period of nothingness is restorative.

When the pandemic hit I wasn’t here. I knew it would be on everyone’s lips and I needed to direct my thoughts elsewhere. Perhaps an escape is in order for you as well?
To me Covid was annoying, what hurt was all the work I was doing dried up and stayed that way for over a year.
I've found that keeping my mind occupied/distracted it doesn't have free time to delve into wrong thinking.
 
  • Like
Reactions: bèlla
Upvote 0

bèlla

❤️
Site Supporter
Jan 16, 2019
23,163
19,344
USA
✟1,127,964.00
Country
United States
Gender
Female
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
In Relationship
Of course id like the best friend I can chat with everyday, but that seems like only an ideal when you throw work, family, kids and such in the mix.

That’s fairly common and many desire that connection. But I think we’re bettered by less. We have too many avenues to give voice to our thoughts and feelings. Most have lost the ability to be quiet and sit with things. It’s a quality you need in marriage and a facet of surrender.

You don’t need to talk about everything. Share everything. Know everything. You need room to breathe and space in your head. It fosters a different constitution that allows you to weather adversity and the unexpected much better.

Physical care is part of that. You mentioned it earlier in your post. If you want to be another’s you must care for his property. You don’t belong to yourself. Beautification must be a priority. And you develop the habit now. Because its a mindset.

You must make time for yourself always. Everyday. You can’t be a good wife and friend otherwise. Don’t say no to yourself. Say no to the things that place you on the sidelines. You’re a priority.
 
  • Friendly
Reactions: sampa
Upvote 0

bèlla

❤️
Site Supporter
Jan 16, 2019
23,163
19,344
USA
✟1,127,964.00
Country
United States
Gender
Female
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
In Relationship
To me Covid was annoying, what hurt was all the work I was doing dried up and stayed that way for over a year.
I've found that keeping my mind occupied/distracted it doesn't have free time to delve into wrong thinking.

Have things picked up again?
 
Upvote 0

Sophrosyne

Let Your Light Shine.. Matt 5:16
Jun 21, 2007
163,215
64,198
In God's Amazing Grace
✟910,522.00
Gender
Male
Faith
Christian
I totally agree with this! My biological father told me this years ago. He was surprised when I confided in him and told him some of the thoughts that had gone through my head as I was going through a surreal experience in my workplace. He told me suicide is such a shelfish act. I think it's him and the love a few others that held me to get through the irrational thoughts that would fill my head.
Not only selfish but in some cases evil as many want to try and escape the fruits of their labors (deeds).
I'm Soo sorry. I'm sure that was hard. In highschool I wrote a poem after my step cousin took his life It leaves everyone asking questions and a heaviness of heart.

Awful that you had that, but I'm so glad you pulled through it. Life is a gift and a blessing to others.
I actually had less issue with them killing themselves than the shock of them dying. I once thought maybe I was not a good enough person to help them out. I often sort of push people away when I feel they are getting too close.
I agree it is a spiritual battle. There is a war that rages around us we are often unaware. Look at the book of Daniel and how Micheal the arch angel was held back 3 weeks to respond to Daniel because of the prince of Persia. *hugs*
This is a topic to approach carefully but good to be connected and aware of others. Today I got a text thank you from the coworker for being there for her.
People that are unaware that some things that they cannot understand that overwhelm them can be spiritually related are often in over their heads. I'm no expert but realized finally that some issues I was having were not psycological at all, in those instances behavior can be explained logically and instead of just popping in unexpected it escalates into being while spiritual attacks come on fast and unexplained and are often very intense to the point that your body goes into a fight or flight type reaction instead of just being stressed out you can get very sharp tongued and extremely irritable.
 
Upvote 0

bèlla

❤️
Site Supporter
Jan 16, 2019
23,163
19,344
USA
✟1,127,964.00
Country
United States
Gender
Female
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
In Relationship
Not enough to count on, I just hope sometimes God is truly thinking of me as the sparrow he talks about.

You’re very knowledgeable about fashion if I recall. Maybe its time to exploit it. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a blog on that subject for Christian men.
 
Upvote 0

Sophrosyne

Let Your Light Shine.. Matt 5:16
Jun 21, 2007
163,215
64,198
In God's Amazing Grace
✟910,522.00
Gender
Male
Faith
Christian
Last edited:
Upvote 0

bèlla

❤️
Site Supporter
Jan 16, 2019
23,163
19,344
USA
✟1,127,964.00
Country
United States
Gender
Female
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
In Relationship
Oh I forgot..... I once did write stuff before blogs existed in the forum

What about this?

“I've found that keeping my mind occupied/distracted it doesn't have free time to delve into wrong thinking”

Can you teach others how to do the same? Give pointers and discuss how you’ve overcome your challenges? Mental health is a rich topic. Narrowing to Christians is even better.
 
Upvote 0

sampa

Veteran
Oct 6, 2006
5,633
3,505
Midwest
✟134,323.00
Country
United States
Gender
Female
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Others
Not only selfish but in some cases evil as many want to try and escape the fruits of their labors (deeds).
Yes, indeed. I pray we can both be a good friend when the time comes that that someone is in need - listening, maybe a kind word or know how to pray with God's wisdom.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Sophrosyne
Upvote 0

bèlla

❤️
Site Supporter
Jan 16, 2019
23,163
19,344
USA
✟1,127,964.00
Country
United States
Gender
Female
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
In Relationship

Just heard this.

Belief in God in U.S. Dips to 81%, a New Low

The vast majority of U.S. adults believe in God, but the 81% who do so is down six percentage points from 2017 and is the lowest in Gallup's trend. Between 1944 and 2011, more than 90% of Americans believed in God.

Belief in God has fallen the most in recent years among young adults and people on the left of the political spectrum (liberals and Democrats). These groups show drops of 10 or more percentage points comparing the 2022 figures to an average of the 2013-2017 polls.

The groups with the largest declines are also the groups that are currently least likely to believe in God, including liberals (62%), young adults (68%) and Democrats (72%). Belief in God is highest among political conservatives (94%) and Republicans (92%), reflecting that religiosity is a major determinant of political divisions in the U.S.
 
  • Like
Reactions: sampa
Upvote 0