I know. We've been through that.
What does the bible say?
Do two walk together, unless they have agreed to meet? —Amos 3:3
You have a greater likelihood of attracting someone like yourself than the opposite.
We naturally attract three types of people:
- Those like us.
- Those who desire to be like us.
- Those who desire something from us. Including us.
Bear that in mind in light of American culture. What do we value?
- Self-sufficiency
- Success
- Youth
- Beauty
- Happiness
We assign greater esteem to those who possess these qualities. Including Christians. If you look at the demographics of singles within Christian settings you'll see the truth.
Therefore, a happy person is more likely to attract others like themselves, people who want the same, and those who desire them. Why? Because of the scarcity effect. That's what our values promote.
Debbie Downer doesn't have people beating down her door to be with her. Why? She isn't an anomaly. She's more commonplace than the other. People want to associate with 'winners' because they're a reflection of them. The kudos rub off. Run with successful people and many assume you're the same.
We want to be associated with people who make us feel good. That's the problem. Many lack those qualities. Their personality, challenges, or experiences don't warrant the same. They project a different energy.
If you're down on yourself you'll have a harder finding someone than those who aren't. You're picking from different patches. Improving your self-esteem and outlook will radiate greater confidence. That appeals to the opposite sex.
We're all seeking companions who add to our lives in a positive fashion. No one advertises for the loser who hates himself and is self-destructive. If they did you'd wonder what's wrong with them.