Mind Games

[bèlla]

Are you referring to psychological manipulation?

Yes.

 

[ChicanaRose]

In your opinion, what drives the behavior?

Machiavellism is one of the possibilities. They are calculating and want something from you. If they give (whether it is personal information, compliment, or help), they expect the same favor in return, except in a greater amount. It is said that they will never give more than they could receive. They tend to speak in nicer tones or get closer to you when they want something.

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And how do you address it as a Christian?

Especially when the person engaging in mind games is within your community of believers. It's delicate. But at the minimum, a step backward in the relationship is necessary. After that, it depends on the unique situation and what God reveals to you in your prayers.

 

[bèlla]

Machiavellism is one of the possibilities.

I’m familiar with him and have read several of his writings. But it has been a long while since I’ve read another who espouses a similar philosophy. It may be worthwhile to do so.

They are calculating and want something from you. If they give (whether it is personal information, compliment, or help), they expect the same favor in return, except in a greater amount. It is said that they will never give more than they could receive. They tend to speak in nicer tones or get closer to you when they want something.

But its false and that’s what He’s revealing. The truth beneath the mask.

Especially when the person engaging in mind games is within your community of believers. It's delicate. But at the minimum, a step backward in the relationship is necessary. After that, it depends on the unique situation and what God reveals to you in your prayers.

That has taken place. He’s unpacking everything. I’m going to fast and deal with it hands on.

 

[ChicanaRose]

I’m going to fast and deal with it hands on.

I probably need to do that too.

 

[bèlla]

I probably need to do that too.

Regarding the situation you previously mentioned or another?

 

[lismore]

Mind games. We’ve heard of them and recognize the damage they cause.

In your opinion, what drives the behavior?

Matthew seven fifteens. False prophets. Wolves in sheep's clothing.

Matthew 7:15

And how do you address it as a Christian?

Try to keep away from them. God Bless

 

[ChicanaRose]

Regarding the situation you previously mentioned or another?

I've mentioned it before.

 

[lismore]

And how do you address it as a Christian?

In one sense it's a huge blessing as a Christian to have been manipulated, bullied or burned in the past. It trains you, empowers you, allows you to pick up the signals that point to the person not being quite right. You grow as a Christian. You are able to warn others so they don't go through a similar experience.

One good indication in someone's life is the fruits of the Spirit:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. ...(Gal 5:22-23).

My advice would be if you don't see several of these in a 'believer's' demeanour. Run!

God Bless

 

[Anthony2019]

Mind games. We’ve heard of them and recognize the damage they cause.

In your opinion, what drives the behavior? And how do you address it as a Christian?

In my experience, the best way to deal with a narcissist who insists on playing mind games, is to not reveal too much information about yourself. It's a good idea to keep your counsel, not to tell them anything about your plans or about how you are feeling, to only tell them the very basic things they need to know and not everything that they want to know.

 

[lismore]

In my experience, the best way to deal with a narcissist who insists on playing mind games, is to not reveal too much information about yourself. It's a good idea to keep your counsel, not to tell them anything about your plans or about how you are feeling, to only tell them the very basic things they need to know and not everything that they want to know.

True! As the bible says 'It is a wise man who does not share too much knowledge'

 

[bèlla]

I've mentioned it before.

The first determination is whether they’re an enemy or misguided. The latter prayers would address the issue and heap coals of shame on their head.

An enemy requires a two to three-fold approach depending on their treachery. Sometimes you stand against the problem. But there are instances when you must stand against the individual if they’re diabolical or unrepentant.

The Holy Spirit may ask you to behave in a loving fashion towards them. This gives the individual an opportunity to repent and change their course. And your hands are clean. You don’t want to engage in warfare unprovoked.

Has the situation improved?

 

[bèlla]

In one sense it's a huge blessing as a Christian to have been manipulated, bullied or burned in the past. It trains you, empowers you, allows you to pick up the signals that point to the person not being quite right. You grow as a Christian. You are able to warn others so they don't go through a similar experience.

This is true and I’m thankful for the Holy Spirit’s guidance through all of this. I don’t feel downtrodden. If anything its the reverse. And the more He reveals the greater my clarity.

My advice would be if you don't see several of these in a 'believer's' demeanour. Run!

You are correct.

 

[bèlla]

It's a good idea to keep your counsel, not to tell them anything about your plans or about how you are feeling, to only tell them the very basic things they need to know and not everything that they want to know.

That is wise advice.

 

[Neogaia777]

Sometimes the person really hates you because they know that they are much more bad person than you are and wishes to bring you down to their depraved level, to make themselves feel better I guess, IDK, but I feel like this has happened with me personally a lot, A LOT, and yes the damage they did, not just to me but all around I don't know if they were quite expecting or not, or maybe they did, or maybe they just don't/didn't care, IDK that either...

But yeah, It's made me not trust or want to be around anybody anymore, so, and since I have the liberty to, most of the time I just don't anymore...

Don't watch TV anymore either, cause I feel like they do it too...

I feel like these "mind games" are a great, great, great deal supremely responsible all around for the "downward spiral" morally, etc, of certain societies and the whole world right now... I wished they would actually care about the damage they are doing and change it, but I don't think they will anytime soon, until it's too late that is, if it isn't already...

I avoid a lot, A LOT, because I can... But many people can't though...

It's tempted me to go off and fly off the handle plenty of times, although most of the time I don't/didn't, I just got out of the situation, and stopped associating with any of the/those people anymore...

I consider it a kind of "sorcery" or black magic or dark arts, even "evil" I would say...

I do my best not be around it or deal with it at all anymore...

Of course, I have to extra careful and cautious as I can be extra-sensitive to it, and have to go to great lengths to protect/shield myself, due to a mental condition I have that makes me extra sensitive to that kind of thing also...

So, and/or also, sometimes I don't know if it's them really doing something, or just me, as my mind can just naturally think that sometimes, even when it's not really happening or going on sometimes...

God Bless!

 

[Anthony2019]

Many years ago, I worked for a line manager who had a very narcissistic personality. One of her tactics was to set an impossible task for me to complete within an unreasonable timescale and then scrutinised what I did to try and make me feel like I wasn't doing well enough.
One morning, she gave me a checklist she wanted me to work through. What would have taken a couple of days to complete, she wanted within half an hour. She told me she had checked the list I had completed and was not convinced that it was done correctly. My answer to her was "well, you didn't really expect me to do it properly, did you?". She gave a nervous laugh and I don't think she knew quite what to say!

 

[JacksBratt]

Mind games. We’ve heard of them and recognize the damage they cause.

In your opinion, what drives the behavior? And how do you address it as a Christian?

If it is with a personal romantic relationship... if not married... RUN. Well, politely end the relationship...
If married... Lord help you..No, seriously... You will need to do a lot of research and council yourself.
Read the book "Telling Yourself the Truth"...
Telling Yourself the Truth

by
William Backus,
Marie Chapian (Contributor)

Prayer, support from loved ones and prayer.. more prayer...

I know, I have lived it... For the first decade I thought it was me... then... I found the book and a site called "Out of the Fog"

 

[bèlla]

Sometimes the person really hates you because they know that they are much more bad person than you are and wishes to bring you down to their depraved level,

In my mind, I know you are speaking truly. But in my heart the idea is very painful. I have walked with friends through incredible trials. From suicide and rape (including gang rape) to infidelity, depression, self-harm and more.

I could never conceive of adding more to their plate or afflicting them intentionally. I don’t understand that. And I am a sinner like the rest. But hate is a depth of depravity I have never traversed.

But yeah, It's made me not trust or want to be around anybody anymore, so, and since I have the liberty to, most of the time I just don't anymore...

I don’t think most people behave that way. I am more affected because of my manner of relating. Kindness increases your love and vulnerability to some degree. When I give I’m truly happy and desiring God’s best for that person.

I feel like these "mind games" are a great, great, great deal supremely responsible all around for the "downward spiral" morally, etc, of the whole world right now...

I believe the same and try to steer clear for those reasons.

I avoid a lot, A LOT, because I can... But many people can't though...

It's tempted me to go off and fly off the handle plenty of times, although most of the time I didn't, just got out of the situation, and stopped associating with any of the people anymore...

I don’t feel God desires my isolation. I am far removed enough as it is. And I don’t think that anger is the right response. It fans the flames and leads to greater conflict. And for some, that’s their aim.

I consider it a kind of "sorcery" or black magic or dark arts, even "evil" I would say...

There can be dark forces at work. But overtly dark people have a different spirit and its hard to hide for long.

Of course, I have to extra careful and cautious as I can be extra-sensitive to it, and have to go to great lengths to protect/shield myself, due to a mental condition I have that makes me extra sensitive to that kind of thing also...

I don’t know if the same will hold true for me. But I feel a deeper calling to love and unloving behavior really hurts my heart. I wasn’t always this sensitive but I’ve become increasingly so over time with His influence.

 

[bèlla]

Many years ago, I worked for a line manager who had a very narcissistic personality. One of her tactics was to set an impossible task for me to complete within an unreasonable timescale and then scrutinised what I did to try and make me feel like I wasn't doing well enough.

That is very sadistic. I hope you’re not working under her now.

My answer to her was "well, you didn't really expect me to do it properly, did you?". She gave a nervous laugh and I don't think she knew quite what to say!

Your struggle fed something unhealthy within her. But its clear she had no lasting impact. You have a very tranquil spirit.

 

[Neogaia777]

If it is with a personal romantic relationship... if not married... RUN. Well, politely end the relationship...
If married... Lord help you..No, seriously... You will need to do a lot of research and council yourself.
Read the book "Telling Yourself the Truth"...
Telling Yourself the Truth

by
William Backus,
Marie Chapian (Contributor)

Prayer, support from loved ones and prayer.. more prayer...

I know, I have lived it... For the first decade I thought it was me... then... I found the book and a site called "Out of the Fog"

I feel like my ex used to do it to me, but I don't know if she really knew it or not, as that was just kind of how she was raised, and was a part of her personality and behavior with everybody, not just me... still don't know for sure down to this day, but, I'm on my own now, and am much better off for it I think...

I think I offhand heard people actually lamenting it not working (with me most of the time) (I'm pretty darn good at not letting it show though) anyway, I think I offhand heard people actually lamenting it not working, and that they had even had some kind of special training or even schooling for it of some kind, but, I still don't know for sure, I have a lot of paranoid thoughts sometimes, and there have clearly been times where I really thought it was happening or going on when I found out that it clearly wasn't, but was just me and my own mind and what it does with things sometimes...

But also times where I'm pretty dang sure it was, as well, also... And I'm pretty much very dang sure of that as well... Think I've caught them more than a few times with or by some of the things, or "questions", I would ask or pose to them.... BTW, if someone is feeding you a "fish story" to mess with you, when you interrupt them and ask the right questions, sometimes you can catch them red-handed in it, it can "trip them up" sometimes, and sometimes you can tell, (that they are lying, etc) but I still didn't let them know I knew when I or they did, etc, but that is one of their "weaknesses"... I really just wanted to "roll my eyes" but didn't even do that much, just stopped associating with them...

Anyway,

God Bless!

 

[bèlla]

If it is with a personal romantic relationship... if not married... RUN. Well, politely end the relationship...

I am single and have never married. I don’t think the Lord would sanction a union where I’m mistreated. Let alone one where the behavior is malicious.

Thank you for the recommendation. I read an excellent book by Leslie Vernick, The Emotionally Destructive Marriage, in the past and was impressed with how she handled the subject and thanked her personally. I highly recommend it for those in similar situations.

Prayer, support from loved ones and prayer.. more prayer...

I know, I have lived it... For the first decade I thought it was me... then... I found the book and a site called "Out of the Fog"

This is becoming a popular subject and I’m glad to hear you were enlightened and are no longer in the dark. God is good.