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Featured Mind Games

Discussion in 'Christian Philosophy & Ethics' started by LaBèlla, Sep 10, 2019.

  1. LaBèlla

    LaBèlla ❣️ His little lady ❣️ Supporter

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    Mind games. We’ve heard of them and recognize the damage they cause.

    In your opinion, what drives the behavior? And how do you address it as a Christian?
     
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  2. Aussie Pete

    Aussie Pete Active Member Supporter

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    Mind games are a way of controlling people. That's one purpose. It is also to manipulate people into doing something they'd rather not do. As Christians, we need seek the Lord for wisdom. It can be hard to recognise and resist.
     
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  3. brinny

    brinny everlovin' shiner of light in dark places Supporter

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    Narcissism drives it.

    Narcissist Extraordinaire is Satan himself. Narcissism is the complete antithesis to anything of God.

    "Mind games" are a symptom of narcissism.

    Narcissism should not be "fed". It "craves" and "demands" attention. "Starve" it.

    A Christian who is targeted by a narcissist, first of all, recognizes clearly what it is, where/whom it originates from, and commences to praying.

    It's spiritual warfare.

    This verse comes to mind:

    "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." ~Jam 4:7

    This also comes to mind:

    [​IMG]
     
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  4. Chadrho

    Chadrho a blind squirrel that found a nut Supporter

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    Mind games are about manipulation and control.

    What to do? It depends on the situation. If possible, avoid the person. Mind games are intentional. A person has to give some thought and effort into such manipulation, which tells me the person's heart is not in a healthy place.

    I imagine there a many situations where a person can't simply avoid contact with someone who employs mind games as a way of control (e.g. a spouse). In that case, much prayer is needed. If possible and if it won't create a worse situation, maybe it would help to confront the person. One might come right out and say, "Hey, you're playing these manipulative games with me, and I don't appreciate it." Doing that makes the person aware that their game has been exposed, so to speak. But again, one has to be careful.

    By the by, I am no expert. Please take anything I might say on this matter with a grain of salt. It is one thing for me, a grown man who has the ability to display an uninviting countenance if needed, to confront someone who is trying to manipulate me. Someone else may need to take a different tactic.
     
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  5. Chadrho

    Chadrho a blind squirrel that found a nut Supporter

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    It just occurred to me that my response above is clearly one-sided, on that of the one being manipulated. I would also suggest praying for the manipulator. Many times I have prayed for someone whose behavior towards me was unacceptable, and to my surprise they had a change of heart without me having to do anything. God can and does change hearts.
     
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  6. brinny

    brinny everlovin' shiner of light in dark places Supporter

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    This comes to mind:

     
  7. LaBèlla

    LaBèlla ❣️ His little lady ❣️ Supporter

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    Do you think mind games always hail from narcissism? Even when done by believers?
     
  8. LaBèlla

    LaBèlla ❣️ His little lady ❣️ Supporter

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    I agree. I would guess unforgiveness and bitterness are present. The person may be in pain as well. But it takes an embittered spirit to behave this way and it isn’t loving.

    True. Especially if they’re unwilling to face the truth or results to gaslighting to defend themselves.
     
  9. LaBèlla

    LaBèlla ❣️ His little lady ❣️ Supporter

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    That is a good suggestion. I’m glad you mentioned it. I’ve had similar experiences too.
     
  10. brinny

    brinny everlovin' shiner of light in dark places Supporter

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    Yes.

    There's a "touch" of narcissism in all of us.

    The bottom line, is that it is sin. And it's destructive, and toxic, whether that person labels themselves a "Christian" or not.

    In addition, the wolves in sheep's clothing comes to mind.

    We are admonished that we will know Christians by their "fruits".

    We are also admonished to be as wise as serpents and harmless as doves.

    This also comes to mind:

     
  11. LaBèlla

    LaBèlla ❣️ His little lady ❣️ Supporter

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    I was thinking about this from a spiritual perspective. I think this is why Christ tells us to forgive. This could only come about through a hardened heart.
     
  12. brinny

    brinny everlovin' shiner of light in dark places Supporter

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    Yes, and as Lisa Nichols said....sometimes we are compelled to love, forgive, protect ourselves etc. "from a distance".

    Thus, being wise as serpents and harmless as doves.

    (I have done this with my own family, out of necessity.)

    For such a hardened heart steeped in narcissism, we pray for wisdom, and we pray for our protection.
     
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  13. nonaeroterraqueous

    nonaeroterraqueous Nonexistent Member

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    Manipulative people are often the victims of rape, especially early in life. They spend their adulthood trying to control everything for the purpose of feeling more secure.
     
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  14. brinny

    brinny everlovin' shiner of light in dark places Supporter

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    There's a difference in the symptoms of trauma and narcissism, brother.
     
  15. LaBèlla

    LaBèlla ❣️ His little lady ❣️ Supporter

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    I cannot say that all manifestations are narcissism and the Holy Spirit has not confirmed it. I can see some of the spiritual influences because of my experience, but even so, the root is rarely identical.

    I’m uncomfortable labeling someone with a psychiatric disorder that I cannot prove. I think that occurs too frequently.
     
  16. com7fy8

    com7fy8 Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Well,
    So . . . for me, a mind game has meant someone just kidding, and I need to understand this. And if I see the person is short on social resources and means no harm, I might goof back at the person. I did this with one church leader, and this loosened things up. But the person seemed to have problems, doing a number of things that were mean-spirited, I would say, and not just kidding. So, I would say do not assume a person who is kidding is really a friendly person.

    Another leader could make a point of joking, then observing if I was being effected. He was possibly trying to effect me so I would be charmed into accepting him and doing what he wanted.

    What you mean by mind games seems to be more obviously intended to be destructive and for controlling and using people.

    I think I know someone who uses various ways of talking, in order to get people confused and even afraid to say no to him; he's his own "good cop" and "bad cop". In case you mean something like this, I find it works first to be submissive to God and humble with the person. Do not try to control that person, do not try to get the person to make himself clear. Make the person do all the work, without you getting tangled with or your attention controlled by him or her.

    But I be quiet and gentle, and in my prayer > in my mind what I am communicating is > "I am ready to share, for real, if you are. But if you are trying to threaten and control me and confuse me, I am not going to cooperate, and you will have to take action and do all the work to prove what you mean by what you are saying and subtly threatening to do. And then I will not do what you say. I will not pay you money to leave me alone, because it can be used to buy drugs which could kill the children of mothers and fathers; so I am willing to die, rather than help you kill other people . . . if God makes me able to hold to this."

    Once a person starts with making various statements and I don't know what he or she really means or intends, then I do not believe anything the person says, and I pray to be guided by God, what to do and say. And I do not commit to anything about the person, that I might think or suppose I should do. And keep trusting God, by the moment. And I do not give the person feedback, by making accusations or criticizing him or her; but the person is stuck with oneself > I am not a fly, and you are stuck with your own flypaper :)

    Satan tries to play me around, with paranoid stuff. What works is I be quiet and depend on God to guide me. And Satan has to do all the work, and I do not commit to anything he is trying to get me to think or how he is trying to get me to plan how I will control a real or imagined problem person. Instead, I pray for someone who is a problem for me, and I prepare to be a good example of how to love, for the person.

    And Satan is left to himself. I am not going to give him attention, and he has God resisting him, and however God has me resist him. If he tells me something, I am not going to act on it but do what God blesses me to do, without answering to whatsoever Satan brings to mind or does or threatens to do.

    "Satan, you are defeated by the shed blood of Jesus," and Jesus "did not threaten," (in 1 Peter 2:21-23) "but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously;"

    So, I commit myself to God, for Him to do with me all He pleases.
     
    Last edited: Sep 10, 2019
  17. LaBèlla

    LaBèlla ❣️ His little lady ❣️ Supporter

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    I think trauma or a painful event is often a factor.
     
  18. brinny

    brinny everlovin' shiner of light in dark places Supporter

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    Thus the praying for wisdom.

    (Wisdom and its accompanying discernment, prevents us from getting "snared" in those spider webs" that are "invisible" till we are ensnared in them.)
     
    Last edited: Sep 10, 2019
  19. LaBèlla

    LaBèlla ❣️ His little lady ❣️ Supporter

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    This is true and often comes out in jesting. Especially the sort that’s cruel or at other’s expense.

    That’s horrible.

    This is good advice. Oftentimes the person desires to gain your attention and draw your thoughts towards themselves.

    Confusion. I’ve been trying to put my finger on the spiritual nature. And your words corroborate something the Holy Spirit had me do.

    Oftentimes there is a lot of passive aggressive behavior. But that is meant to confuse and cause duress.

    Yes. That alleviates strife and greater harm.

    I have prayed about this. But my spirit is disturbed and I think I need to take a different tact in prayer. Thank you. :)
     
  20. christine40

    christine40 Well-Known Member

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    have used avoidance but when it's a family member it's difficult
    decided to be "extra" nice/give extra attention first
    totally threw person off their game; a joy to behold
     
    Last edited: Sep 10, 2019
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