Rapist Wants me to Call Him

[Willie T]

Nope! Call a church in his area and ask the pastor or another man (men's ministry)
to go visit and talk with him.

This is a decent suggestion..... for starters. But, if the preacher has no experience in this area, the local PD still needs to be aware. If he does have experience, he will contact them, himself.

 

[Willie T]

I just thought of a good group for this...he does need other men to support him

May we ask what sort of group you have in mind?

 

[teresa]

I'm surprised he's driving a taxi, ferrying women. But in any case, I would give his contact info to a ministry or to a male believer from another church. Keep your distance. Forcible rape is a serious offense, and you would be doing him no favors by placing temptation before him. He needs help, you've got that right, but there is a reason the Body is made up of so many different parts.

that hes ferrying around women, alone in the cab really is a good question to ask, thank you.

you make an excellent point and thanks for your guidance on this-talking with him would make things worse for -him!

I dont want him to fall, and already by living among heavily drinking men, hes in a "slippery" place with his aoda issues.

even worse is the isolation from church and fellow shipping-why wont he go to church?

he got so upset over any mention of going to one and getting more support--that was a little bit concerning.

Great point about the body of Christ being made of different parts!

 

[Apologetic_Warrior]

Please help me understand....I should tell the local police?

He didnt do anything but I do now realize he knows my name and where I live....

but is this baseless fear?

wouldnt the police contact him about this----setting me up for revenge?

I dont want to be hurt.

if you tell the cops, they will notify him, and then I am a dead duck....?

Nope not baseless fear. In addition to other advice. Take extra measures to be safe if you do not already, like steel doors for your home, deadbolt and chain, etc. If you have to walk alone outside your home, well if there is someone, maybe a neighbor who would walk you to your door would be best, but if not, flashlight, mace, etc. just be aware of your surroundings and prepared basically. We should be safe alert and prepared at all times anyway. If you're an animal lover, intruders tend to not like noise or the potential threat of teeth on their ankles.

 

[teresa]

Remember that He cares for this man far more than you or anyone else can

Excellent point we must all remember-God cares more for this man than anyone else can, right?!

So prayer is the most powerful to do at least right now, as its the weekend.

 

[teresa]

I remembered that there is a local mens support group for getting back on ones feet after prison, but I should make more contact with local pastors.

willie, I think it shouldn't be me who calls....maybe someone can come up with a reason they are calling him and had his number-but it wasn't from me-right?

 

[LoricaLady]

Have nothing more to do with that man. The biggest way Dr. Jekyl gets you to to fall into Mr. Hyde's trap is to make you feel sorry for him. The 2nd way is to try to make you feel that you are special, and that maybe, you, above all others, can rescue him. Baloney. Many women have fallen into those traps and lived (if they lived!) to deeply regret it.

If you prayed for him, that's all you need to do. You can't fix anyone, especially not anyone that obviously horribly messed up. Be sure he isn't stalking you. Get street smart. Report him if need be.

Also, you can't catch health, but you sure can catch sickness.

 

[Apologetic_Warrior]

willie, are you advising to quietly go and talk to the local police?

Maybe just bring it to their attention and express your concern, while asking them to not make contact? Maybe if they do not already, patrol your area more closely? It's the silent message that sometimes speaks the loudest.

 

[teresa]

being in isolation like the "hole" drives people nuts....I pray he can find support and not come over...

its a really nice day outside and lots of folks are out and about enjoying the weather

which might make him lonely

 

[teresa]

as christ followers, how dare we abandon the sick and the needy?

but its about the right parts of the body doing the different kinds of care, something new I just learned, thanks to the loving people here on cf

 

[LoricaLady]

as christ followers, how dare we abandon the sick and the needy?

but its about the right parts of the body doing the different kinds of care, something new I just learned, thanks to the loving people here on cf

Messiah told us NOT to toss our pearls before the swine and NOT to give what is holy to the dogs. He also said there is demon seed out there. He even said that most people will take the wide path to destruction and that only a "few" would take the narrow path.

Given this guys profile, what are the statistical probabilities that he is on the narrow path? I'm not saying it could never happen. But I am saying that you don't know, and that you don't have the qualifications to help him AND he could be VERY dangerous. Still. Based on criminal stats, his chances of truly reforming are way slim.

This reminds me of that old story where a woman felt so sorry for a snake that asked for help. So she tucked him in her jacket to warm him up and took him home. When he gave her a fatal bite she was astonished and asked how he could do that. He replied "You knew I was a snake when you picked me up."

 

[eleos1954]

A newly released convict wants me to call him to talk, bc he said I'm the kindest person he has ever met in the history of his life. He said he has never known anyone who has been so kind to him.

We struck up conversation in the cab ride he was giving, as he was the driver and it was a long ride.

He gave me his number and first and last name.

He said he hates his living situation as hes surrounded by room mates who drink heavily and fight with each other.

He had self harm injuries all over his arm, well healed and old.

He said he used to be a drug fiend, but was over that.

He said he was celebite for 10 years and his wife died.

Well, I'm celebit and my spouse also died and I used to self harm.

I went home and looked him up in the national data base and found out that he had just been released from another state for "forced rape."

It didn't mention child so I took it as meaning an adult woman.

I never called, but its tugging at my heart.

How long do we hold someone accountable for past sins?

Is he now labed for life, with no friends, and treated like a leper?

I've helped many homeless men who did hard time or lighter felonies, and its hard to find a job and to get housing I hear.

Well, hes working, and sounds like hes living in a half way house with guys who are making his transition difficult.

I suggested he get into AA meeting asap for support and to find a bible believing church (hes said hes born again bible believing type).

He said he cant stand organized religion and just does his daily prayers and devotions to himself.

I wonder if you are on the national registry, if you cannot even go to church bc kids might be there?

IDK

I've read too many stories of ppl trying to make a come back and they are so hated, rejected and ostracized, they take a fall back into drugs, and gradually make the intentional decision to OD on purpose.

This is killing me.

I am interested in prison ministry, and this would be women only if I ever do it.

But these men who get tagged, I feel so badly and I'm so torn apart.

I haven't called out of fear.

How can I pray for him or get him some help?

Well, from the get-go I'd say the thought of calling him is out of the question. It's about risk. Now, could he have done what he did and not do it again? Sure .... Could he do it again, or something worse ... Sure. Is it worth putting yourself at risk? No

I worked 25 years in a prison system, retired from same. A lot of training goes on and I mean a lot. Even myself having a lot of training ... no way I would call this person ... in fact this is based on my training.

It's not your responsibility to get him some help. Help (whether secular and/or spiritual) is out there and available .... we know that ... he knows that. He has the ability to seek them out and if he wants help, he'll find it.

Red Flags:

I'm the kindest person he has ever met in the history of his life. He said he has never known anyone who has been so kind to him. So his wife was not kind to him? Nobody and I mean nobody has ever been kind to him during his entire life? Except for you of course. This is referred to (from training) as "grooming" -
prepare or train (someone) for a particular purpose or activity.
His comments to you are way over the top. He could have just said thank you for your conversation and kindness and left it there ... but no .... he gives you his phone number?

"He said he was celebite for 10 years and his wife died".

If he has the ability of being celibate, then why was he convicted of forced rape?

"He said he cant stand organized religion and just does his daily prayers and devotions to himself". "daily prayers and devotions to himself". Does he study Gods word? If true ... you know he has all the help he needs. The Lord will guide him then.

Ok, so am I pre-judging this person? No ... I am considering the risk factor.

This persons current "disposition" is unknown ... therefore there is risk. You have fear ... and that's because you recognize the risk ... so pay attention to that.

"But these men who get tagged", ... There are consequences to actions. The results of those consequences are handled through the Lord if one has a relationship with the Lord. If they don't have the Lord ... then yeah it's a big bummer trying to handle it .

I feel so badly and I'm so torn apart. Don't feel bad and don't feel torn apart. It's not your responsibility to deal with his consequences ... it is his responsibility to deal with them and of course that is best done through the Lord and the Lord is right there ready willing and able to help him, we know that.

So yes pray for the Lord to help him, I will too ... we are even called to pray for our enemies .... but nothing beyond that. Nothing!

God Bless and may the Lord remove your fear with His love, in Jesus name. Amen

 

[Sam91]

He does sound manipulative and given his sexual violence it would be inappropriate for anyone to advise you to encourage any personal relationship. You will be putting yourself into danger.

Manipulators know how to gain sympathy. They are experts in it. The things you wrote in your OP like him telling you things to stir up empathy show this. He has not respected boundaries and other peoples rights in the past, he doesn't think like you. I couldn't believe how wicked people could think until I met a Christian (who looked like he walked the talk). I still can't understand such a different mindset, way of thinking, that other people can have.

Pray for him, but stay away from him. The Lord will put someone into his life. It will probably be a man, someone who is not at such risk. It would be nearly impossible for you to defend yourself, why put yourself in that danger?

Galatians 6 (paraphrased) 'be rest assured, God won't be mocked, you reap what you sow' shows that even though forgiven there are still consequences for sin. One is that you ought to be careful. You are not judging but discerning. You don't want him condemned but acting wisely.

You are not being like the others in the parable of the good Samaritan. You are going to pray at the very least. You could probably get away with replying to him that you aren't able to help him but send a text directing him to help and then no longer reply.

There are many proverbs and Bible verses about being wise and not foolish. Please stay safe.

 

[LoricaLady]

Another thing. What we know about him is a rape record. Often people have done more, and far worse, than what they finally got caught doing. He could be a Ted Bundy type. You just don't know. But there is plenty of information to show he has red flags from his toes to his ears.

 

[Basil the Great]

I believe that your heart is in the right place, but it seems to me that caution is the word for the day. Think long and hard before taking action in this matter.

 

[mmksparbud]

Rape is an act of power--control. I will tell you right now---these people are highly manipulative. They cajole, sound pitiful, lead others to feel sorry for them. They can even pour tears. If God is calling him---He will not do it through a vulnerable woman. Leave him alone and let God find the right person for him. Do not call him. That is how they work. They are predatory and lure their prey in. What help he needs should be coming from men, not lone women. They count on pity. Like the saying goes---you bring a snake into your home, don't be surprised when it bites you. God is not going to place you in jeopardy in order to win him. He will send the right person to him. Throw that number away and pray for some man to help him. Satan is working on his behalf through your emotions. Emotions are not to be trusted, they can be manipulated. God's Holy Spirit may be trying to get through to you to stand back and you are placing your pity above the Holy Spirit, drowning Him out. Stand back and pray.

 

[Basil the Great]

I'm surprised he's driving a taxi, ferrying women. But in any case, I would give his contact info to a ministry or to a male believer from another church. Keep your distance. Forcible rape is a serious offense, and you would be doing him no favors by placing temptation before him. He needs help, you've got that right, but there is a reason the Body is made up of so many different parts.

Forcible rape is almost as serious a crime that there is, save murder and torture and very severe beatings or so it would seem.

 

[Chris V++]

Most states now provide free, public internet judiciary case search databases. You can probably get more details of his offense(s) within minutes. You can research difficult neighbors, potential business partners, colleagues etc in these judiciary databases. The more you think about the things this guy said, like an earlier poster pointed out (e.g. grooming, etc.) the more likely it seems that he is a very dangerous person. He mentioned to a strange but kind girl in his cab that he is celibate? Watch Out!

 

[mmksparbud]

I was re reading this post and am wondering about something. You seem so drawn to him---are you so sure this is purely spiritual?? It is sounding alarmingly as though you may be physically attracted to this man and are trying to justify the attraction. We can not help whom we are attracted to, chemicals get released and there you are. You say nothing about yourself. How does this man peg you as the kindest person he has ever met in just one short taxi cab drive? That sounds very oily--like syrup over ice cream. Are you single, young, or getting on in years and lonely? Examine yourself carefully. The bad boys are always the ones that are the most exciting to women. Be careful.

Hope I did not offend---just that---been there done that.

 

[Willing-heart]

In all seriousness, I will advise you to stay far away from such a person and not even contact or respond to them contacting you. Just because you have forgiven the person does not mean you should let them into your life or want to have anything to do with them. I honestly think you are better off leaving that person to God to deal with. All I would suggest you should do is that you give it all to God in prayer. Take care and God bless.