Why I fear Church

[tdidymas]

I am kind of scared to go to church. I struggle with same-sex attraction and I know that homosexuality is sin. I do not live the lifestyle but I still struggle with lust, which the Bible calls adultery and idolatry. My biggest fear is that the people inside the church will not be very kind to me. I see so many threads of people fighting about homosexuality and most people don't understand the struggles. I know that same-sex attraction is very unnatural and it makes people uncomfortable.

You have many people who are very uncomfortable with homosexuals in the church, but then those of us who want to obey God and be Christians who struggled with the desire see all the fighting and quarreling that the church is having about homosexuality. And some people seem very unmerciful. Yeah, they are your speaking the truth about Sin but they seem very nasty about it. I don't know. It makes me not want to go to church. Not because I am afraid of hearing the truth because I already know the truth and I know what scripture says about it, but because people seem to speak the truth without love.

The question is am I wrong about that?

Say that you have a professor who is very intelligent. He is your instructor and he will be your instructor for the rest of the school year. When you do your school work, you want to know if you are doing it right or if you are getting it wrong. But every time he corrects your mistakes he makes you feel like a complete stupid. You want to know what you're doing wrong but you just hate the way that he is correcting your mistakes.

Will it be better to be homeschooled and teach yourself or to continue to be taught by this guy that makes you feel stupid every time he corrects correct your mistakes, even though you are learning from him?

That's the way it seems sometimes with Christians. They do speak the truth about Sin but sometimes they just don't seem very loving about it.

I am not going around saying they are all so judgemental. We are all judgemental in many ways. I just sometimes wish that people could be less harsh in their judgments.

I don't know. Maybe I am completely in the wrong. I don't know what advice you can give me to be perfectly honest.

I just don't want to go to church and make people uncomfortable. But I also don't want to go to church and feel condemned.

Will God still accept me if I just stay at home and worship him?

I highly recommend finding a Celebrate Recovery group (Home). The group I'm involved in helped me greatly to overcome some issues in my life. There you will find support, accountability, and encouragement concerning any addiction you have whatsoever that you want to overcome. Everyone in CR is a recovering addict from something.

I also did CrossTies:
https://www.amazon.com/CrossTies-Beatitudes-Believer-Paul-Looney/dp/1544729332
http://drlooney.podbean.com/category/crossties/
This is another powerful program that is very helpful to a victorious life. If you listen to the recordings, you'll find the author's issue very similar to yours.

God bless you and may you find the breakthrough you are looking for.
TD

 

[Introverted1293]

I highly recommend finding a Celebrate Recovery group (Home). The group I'm involved in helped me greatly to overcome some issues in my life. There you will find support, accountability, and encouragement concerning any addiction you have whatsoever that you want to overcome. Everyone in CR is a recovering addict from something.

I also did CrossTies:
https://www.amazon.com/CrossTies-Beatitudes-Believer-Paul-Looney/dp/1544729332
http://drlooney.podbean.com/category/crossties/
This is another powerful program that is very helpful to a victorious life. If you listen to the recordings, you'll find the author's issue very similar to yours.

God bless you and may you find the breakthrough you are looking for.
TD

Thank you and God bless you too.

 

[Cheylynn]

I am kind of scared to go to church. I struggle with same-sex attraction and I know that homosexuality is sin. I do not live the lifestyle but I still struggle with lust, which the Bible calls adultery and idolatry. My biggest fear is that the people inside the church will not be very kind to me. I see so many threads of people fighting about homosexuality and most people don't understand the struggles. I know that same-sex attraction is very unnatural and it makes people uncomfortable.

You have many people who are very uncomfortable with homosexuals in the church, but then those of us who want to obey God and be Christians who struggled with the desire see all the fighting and quarreling that the church is having about homosexuality. And some people seem very unmerciful. Yeah, they are your speaking the truth about Sin but they seem very nasty about it. I don't know. It makes me not want to go to church. Not because I am afraid of hearing the truth because I already know the truth and I know what scripture says about it, but because people seem to speak the truth without love.

The question is am I wrong about that?

Say that you have a professor who is very intelligent. He is your instructor and he will be your instructor for the rest of the school year. When you do your school work, you want to know if you are doing it right or if you are getting it wrong. But every time he corrects your mistakes he makes you feel like a complete stupid. You want to know what you're doing wrong but you just hate the way that he is correcting your mistakes.

Will it be better to be homeschooled and teach yourself or to continue to be taught by this guy that makes you feel stupid every time he corrects correct your mistakes, even though you are learning from him?

That's the way it seems sometimes with Christians. They do speak the truth about Sin but sometimes they just don't seem very loving about it.

I am not going around saying they are all so judgemental. We are all judgemental in many ways. I just sometimes wish that people could be less harsh in their judgments.

I don't know. Maybe I am completely in the wrong. I don't know what advice you can give me to be perfectly honest.

I just don't want to go to church and make people uncomfortable. But I also don't want to go to church and feel condemned.

Will God still accept me if I just stay at home and worship him?

Are you born again?

 

[dcalling]

Will pray that God help you find a good church.

It is the love of the Christians that eventually drawn me to Christianity, those that dont judge me as an atheist, been patient with me with all my questions and arguments. If God has commanded us to love our enemies, loving people who are homosexuals, who are divorced etc should be not an issue.

That said, it will definitely be better to know the truth even if the truth hurt you. We all have sins, be that watching inappropriate content, lust to other men/women, steal, envy, hate, affairs, divorces.... Those will be very hard to resist, impossible for us, but if you truly belong to God, God will help you in different ways, and we will be eventually be in heaven and at that time none of those worldly sins will be an issue any more.

Prov 21:2
A person may think their own ways are right,
but the Lord weighs the heart.

I am kind of scared to go to church. I struggle with same-sex attraction and I know that homosexuality is sin. I do not live the lifestyle but I still struggle with lust, which the Bible calls adultery and idolatry. My biggest fear is that the people inside the church will not be very kind to me. I see so many threads of people fighting about homosexuality and most people don't understand the struggles. I know that same-sex attraction is very unnatural and it makes people uncomfortable.

You have many people who are very uncomfortable with homosexuals in the church, but then those of us who want to obey God and be Christians who struggled with the desire see all the fighting and quarreling that the church is having about homosexuality. And some people seem very unmerciful. Yeah, they are your speaking the truth about Sin but they seem very nasty about it. I don't know. It makes me not want to go to church. Not because I am afraid of hearing the truth because I already know the truth and I know what scripture says about it, but because people seem to speak the truth without love.

The question is am I wrong about that?

Say that you have a professor who is very intelligent. He is your instructor and he will be your instructor for the rest of the school year. When you do your school work, you want to know if you are doing it right or if you are getting it wrong. But every time he corrects your mistakes he makes you feel like a complete stupid. You want to know what you're doing wrong but you just hate the way that he is correcting your mistakes.

Will it be better to be homeschooled and teach yourself or to continue to be taught by this guy that makes you feel stupid every time he corrects correct your mistakes, even though you are learning from him?

That's the way it seems sometimes with Christians. They do speak the truth about Sin but sometimes they just don't seem very loving about it.

I am not going around saying they are all so judgemental. We are all judgemental in many ways. I just sometimes wish that people could be less harsh in their judgments.

I don't know. Maybe I am completely in the wrong. I don't know what advice you can give me to be perfectly honest.

I just don't want to go to church and make people uncomfortable. But I also don't want to go to church and feel condemned.

Will God still accept me if I just stay at home and worship him?

 

[Introverted1293]

Are you born again?

That is a good question. I don't know to be perfectly honest. I have accepted Jesus as my Lord but I still sin.

 

[Introverted1293]

Will pray that God help you find a good church.

It is the love of the Christians that eventually drawn me to Christianity, those that dont judge me as an atheist, been patient with me with all my questions and arguments. If God has commanded us to love our enemies, loving people who are homosexuals, who are divorced etc should be not an issue.

That said, it will definitely be better to know the truth even if the truth hurt you. We all have sins, be that watching inappropriate content, lust to other men/women, steal, envy, hate, affairs, divorces.... Those will be very hard to resist, impossible for us, but if you truly belong to God, God will help you in different ways, and we will be eventually be in heaven and at that time none of those worldly sins will be an issue any more.

Prov 21:2
A person may think their own ways are right,
but the Lord weighs the heart.

Thank you

 

[salt-n-light]

I am kind of scared to go to church. I struggle with same-sex attraction and I know that homosexuality is sin. I do not live the lifestyle but I still struggle with lust, which the Bible calls adultery and idolatry. My biggest fear is that the people inside the church will not be very kind to me. I see so many threads of people fighting about homosexuality and most people don't understand the struggles. I know that same-sex attraction is very unnatural and it makes people uncomfortable.

You have many people who are very uncomfortable with homosexuals in the church, but then those of us who want to obey God and be Christians who struggled with the desire see all the fighting and quarreling that the church is having about homosexuality. And some people seem very unmerciful. Yeah, they are your speaking the truth about Sin but they seem very nasty about it. I don't know. It makes me not want to go to church. Not because I am afraid of hearing the truth because I already know the truth and I know what scripture says about it, but because people seem to speak the truth without love.

The question is am I wrong about that?

Say that you have a professor who is very intelligent. He is your instructor and he will be your instructor for the rest of the school year. When you do your school work, you want to know if you are doing it right or if you are getting it wrong. But every time he corrects your mistakes he makes you feel like a complete stupid. You want to know what you're doing wrong but you just hate the way that he is correcting your mistakes.

Will it be better to be homeschooled and teach yourself or to continue to be taught by this guy that makes you feel stupid every time he corrects correct your mistakes, even though you are learning from him?

That's the way it seems sometimes with Christians. They do speak the truth about Sin but sometimes they just don't seem very loving about it.

I am not going around saying they are all so judgemental. We are all judgemental in many ways. I just sometimes wish that people could be less harsh in their judgments.

I don't know. Maybe I am completely in the wrong. I don't know what advice you can give me to be perfectly honest.

I just don't want to go to church and make people uncomfortable. But I also don't want to go to church and feel condemned.

Will God still accept me if I just stay at home and worship him?

I feel your pain. I still have my homosexual struggles as well and attend a church that for the most part doesn't know. You have options but the advice within all of them, is that to NEVER keep it to yourself. Find people urgently to talk to. If you don't, it will eat you, you will end up having it grow and grow until you end up making a decision that will spiritually kill you. And do NOT be alone, its tempting, but do not retreat! When you are alone, your thoughts will take over and no one is around to help you out.

So the options to how to do it:
1. Find one friend in the church that you can talk to and confine in (preferably a male, or like one of the male leaders of the church). Maybe right now the whole church doesn't need to know, just like with probably any other sin you have, you don't tell them all to the church. But the deeper ones you can tell a close friend there you can trust. That way you have more or less an accountability partner that will check up on you.

2. Forums specifically dealing with same-sex attraction. I join Live Hope Ministries Forum last month,and that has been helping me. Christian forum is great, but at times when this is the most pressing thing in my mind right now, it helps to have community dedicated to that. Its free, just sign up. They also have retreats and lots of resources for you to watch and read up on.

3. Look for christian meetups for those struggling with same-sex attractions. If you find it comfortable to confine in the church, that doesnt mean you can't find a community of believers that can help your walk. Look up online to see if there is one available in your area. Or maybe find one or two mentors who have overcome it, and set up meetups with them.

It will also help for you to take a step back, and instead of focusing on the "whats" of the situation, ask yourself truly the "whys" and "hows". Why am I attracted to the same sex, how did I get to a point of sexualizing them, what does that say about the condition of my heart, have i done things that fed into it, etc. Journal it down. Homosexuality is using the by-product of a heart condition not be addressed. Then find out in the Word how God addresses it. For example, for me one of the things I found out about myself was that I had self-esteem issues, and felt that when I was around women that acknowledge my femininity, it made me feel good, but to the point where I start to feel sexual towards them. So now that I can pinpoint that, I can now ask God to help me get over my self-esteem issues. Once you heal the core, the rest will start to slowly fade. But its hard to do that if you're only focusing on its aftermath, that's just the tip of the iceberg. Give yourself time to reflect, go into the Word, and examine your heart. Ask for help, where you can get it, and be patient with God, He will slowly (but surely) heal you.

Let not this situation make you grow cold and distant yourself from believers, to make you feel like you are the "other". That is a lie, you are a believer that have struggles just like everybody else, and God loves you and will help you overcome just like everybody else. From some, their struggles shows in their attractions, for some in their actions, and for some in their thought process, but all have come short and we must all strive to be of one body, even if some are being evil towards you. Don't lose sight of God's promises for you. Do not spiritually disconnect yourself from the body of Christ out of fear. Don't isolate yourself.

 

[Introverted1293]

I feel your pain. I still have my homosexual struggles as well and attend a church that for the most part doesn't know. You have options but the advice within all of them, is that to NEVER keep it to yourself. Find people urgently to talk to. If you don't, it will eat you, you will end up having it grow and grow until you end up making a decision that will spiritually kill you. And do NOT be alone, its tempting, but do not retreat! When you are alone, your thoughts will take over and no one is around to help you out.

So the options to how to do it:
1. Find one friend in the church that you can talk to and confine in (preferably a male, or like one of the male leaders of the church). Maybe right now the whole church doesn't need to know, just like with probably any other sin you have, you don't tell them all to the church. But the deeper ones you can tell a close friend there you can trust. That way you have more or less an accountability partner that will check up on you.

2. Forums specifically dealing with same-sex attraction. I join Live Hope Ministries Forum last month,and that has been helping me. Christian forum is great, but at times when this is the most pressing thing in my mind right now, it helps to have community dedicated to that. Its free, just sign up. They also have retreats and lots of resources for you to watch and read up on.

3. Look for christian meetups for those struggling with same-sex attractions. If you find it comfortable to confine in the church, that doesnt mean you can't find a community of believers that can help your walk. Look up online to see if there is one available in your area. Or maybe find one or two mentors who have overcome it, and set up meetups with them.

It will also help for you to take a step back, and instead of focusing on the "whats" of the situation, ask yourself truly the "whys" and "hows". Why am I attracted to the same sex, how did I get to a point of sexualizing them, what does that say about the condition of my heart, have i done things that fed into it, etc. Journal it down. Homosexuality is using the by-product of a heart condition not be addressed. Then find out in the Word how God addresses it. For example, for me one of the things I found out about myself was that I had self-esteem issues, and felt that when I was around women that acknowledge my femininity, it made me feel good, but to the point where I start to feel sexual towards them. So now that I can pinpoint that, I can now ask God to help me get over my self-esteem issues. Once you heal the core, the rest will start to slowly fade. But its hard to do that if you're only focusing on its aftermath, that's just the tip of the iceberg. Give yourself time to reflect, go into the Word, and examine your heart. Ask for help, where you can get it, and be patient with God, He will slowly (but surely) heal you.

Thank you

I will also check that site.

 

[salt-n-light]

Thank you

I will also check that site.

Definately check it out, it's been helping me greatly, and I know that it will help you as well. Stay strong my brother! Everyone got their crosses to bear, but we will overcome with Jesus on our side! That is a PROMISE made by God, trust in that. Just take it one day at a time, and just focus on delighting in the things of God

You'll be sheer surprise of how many testimonies even from this forum, on those who've been where you are, and overcame.

 

[Introverted1293]

Definately check it out, it's been helping me greatly, and I know that it will help you as well. Stay strong my brother! Everyone got their crosses to bear, but we will overcome with Jesus on our side! That is a PROMISE made by God, trust in that. Just take it one day at a time, and just focus on delighting in the things of God

You'll be sheer surprise of how many testimonies even from this forum, on those who've been where you are, and overcame.

Thank you so much

 

[Celticroots]

Why is struggles with mental illness or one’s sexual attraction anyone else in church’s business but your own? I’d never disclose personal things in church to people.

 

[Theophan]

I am kind of scared to go to church. I struggle with same-sex attraction and I know that homosexuality is sin. I do not live the lifestyle but I still struggle with lust, which the Bible calls adultery and idolatry. My biggest fear is that the people inside the church will not be very kind to me.

Give thanks to God that your conscience is still intact. Why do you believe your fears to be legitimate? Are you going to wear a t-shirt that says, "Hello everyone, I am a Christian who struggles against lusting after other men."? Of course not. The whole world does not need to know about our sins; we must use prudence when confiding in others about our struggles with sin because, otherwise, people will hurt us. Not everyone is worthy of being trusted with bearing our burdens.

I see so many threads of people fighting about homosexuality and most people don't understand the struggles. I know that same-sex attraction is very unnatural and it makes people uncomfortable.

You have many people who are very uncomfortable with homosexuals in the church, but then those of us who want to obey God and be Christians who struggled with the desire see all the fighting and quarreling that the church is having about homosexuality. And some people seem very unmerciful. Yeah, they are your speaking the truth about Sin but they seem very nasty about it. I don't know. It makes me not want to go to church. Not because I am afraid of hearing the truth because I already know the truth and I know what scripture says about it, but because people seem to speak the truth without love.

The question is am I wrong about that?

You should not believe that just because you see people engaging in polemics on this internet forum that Christians in person will behave and speak in the same ways.

From Wikipedia: A polemic (/pəˈlɛmɪk/) is contentious rhetoric that is intended to support a specific position by aggressive claims and undermining of the opposing position. Polemics are mostly seen in arguments about controversial topics. The practice of such argumentation is called polemics.

What you are seeing from many Christians (including myself) is polemics. I made a thread recently that was underlined by a polemical tone against this very sin. Whether it was spoken in love or not, you are not to judge, right? You're not the Judge, are you? No, none of us are. Moreover, it is incorrect to associate polemics with hatred of people, unlove towards them, and an attack against them. No, polemics attacks issues; it attacks sins; it fights for the Truth. In this context, one should not be looking for words that are meant to encourage you or make you feel affection since this would be an inappropriate setting to seek such things from. We do not go to the bathroom to find food and, likewise, we do not go to polemical discussions to find comfort.

We go to Church for community, for an encounter with the Holy Trinity, for an encounter with He who is Love and with those who partake of Love. We do not gather together at Church to judge one another and condemn each other with bitter words of hatred. If you find a church like this, do not consider it a church of God, but rather a church of the devil.

Say that you have a professor who is very intelligent. He is your instructor and he will be your instructor for the rest of the school year. When you do your school work, you want to know if you are doing it right or if you are getting it wrong. But every time he corrects your mistakes he makes you feel like a complete stupid. You want to know what you're doing wrong but you just hate the way that he is correcting your mistakes.

Will it be better to be homeschooled and teach yourself or to continue to be taught by this guy that makes you feel stupid every time he corrects correct your mistakes, even though you are learning from him?

That's the way it seems sometimes with Christians. They do speak the truth about Sin but sometimes they just don't seem very loving about it.

I just don't want to go to church and make people uncomfortable. But I also don't want to go to church and feel condemned.

Will God still accept me if I just stay at home and worship him?

An instructor who behaves the way you described acts unwisely and perhaps unlovingly, although he might be intelligent.

In your example, your only considering one option: to run away, to escape. You also have a bad perspective on the situation because you accuse the instructor of being the cause for you feeling stupid as if it was a sort of cause-and-effect scenario governed by a spiritual law. It is like you are saying, "If someone treats me a certain way, I cannot but act in this manner!" Oh, is that so? If your law is irrefutable, then we have Christ and the Apostles as examples to contradict you, since they were mocked and derided and abused, and yet no reproofs or cursings or retaliations or any ungodly feelings were induced in them. What, then, is your excuse? What is mine? No, you choose to feel that way; he doesn't make you feel anything other than what you choose to feel for yourself.

There is something besides escaping the situation, something besides avoiding relationship, which you can do. Would it be better to homeschool yourself? Perhaps, but you cannot arrive to that conclusion if you blame "the instructor" for your choice to feel offended by him. You cannot reasonably believe that running away is best if you never even tried to resolve your trifles with him. You are trying to use this example to justify your desire to flee from gathering with other believers at Church. This is wrong.

Will God still accept you if you stay home and worship Him? Only God knows the answer! Are we God?

I am sorry if my words sound harsh; they are not meant to be. I am a very blunt person and I lack finesse.

 

[Theophan]

Yes, God will accept you. He made you, he knows you better than anybody else ever will. Don’t be so certain that same-sex lust is “unnatural”. The animals exhibit it, and so do most humans. Lust, rage and other desires are natural, just like diseases: they’re natural - AIDS and typhoid and malaria are all completely natural, all separate living creations of God, and they all execute their divine programming just like every other living thing. It’s just that the nature of what they do and who they prey on (us), is bad for us.

This is a very fallible argument. You would only be correct if animals were acting appropriately according to nature. But we know that when Adam and Ever fell, so did all creation fall with them. In the Garden, they lived in harmony with one another, but now we see that animals will even devour humans at times. This is not evidence to support the idea that homosexual urges are according to nature since nature, at the present, is fallen and unnatural in many respects.

Furthermore, you don't substantiate your claim with any scriptures. Cite Scripture to support the notion that same-sex lust is not unnatural.

 

[Introverted1293]

@Theophan I guess getting offended is no excuse of rejecting people.

 

[Theophan]

@Theophan I guess getting offended is no excuse of rejecting people.

We can reject people; that is fine, but we must use discernment and not make our decisions based on protecting our ego. For example, I reject meeting with people who gather for the purpose of abusing drugs. Meeting with them would prove harmful to my soul. Not only that, but (1) did God call me to join their meetings? (2) Do the Holy Scriptures support my decision as a wise and good one? (3) Have I sought godly counsel from other wise Christians? (4) Have I prayed extensively (3 times is a good rule of thumb since this is what Jesus did in the garden of Gethsemene)? (5) Are the reasons for me joining or not joining a particular community group based on whether or not I believe it would glorify God, or are my reasons selfish and ego-driven? There are most likely other questions we can ask ourselves.

If you show up at a Church and people treat you like garbage, or you simply feel too distressed to remain there, then it seems reasonable to attempt finding another Church. If you exhaust all of your options, then the next reasonable decision would be to be a Church hermit (one who doesn't attend Church services). With regards to this last option, it would be shocking to encounter this sort of situation, in my opinion.

But let me stop talking because I'm an idiot. Sorry for causing confusion.

 

[Cheylynn]

That is a good question. I don't know to be perfectly honest. I have accepted Jesus as my Lord but I still sin.

I think the very question you raise speaks much. The question I asked you, if you were born again – is indicative of how I will answer.

Jesus told Nicodemus that in order for him to see the Kingdom of God he must first be born from above – by the Spirit; John 3:3. This is not a suggestion folks, this is the truth coming from Jesus Christ. I speak not to the subject of homosexuality, inclusiveness, celibacy, or where to suggest one goes so they do not feel judged. The question is; ARE YOU BORN AGAIN? To say you don’t know – I will say how can this be? Either you are, or you are not. God did not make this so that it be a grey, unknown mystery! For He says;

“For I will take you from among the nations, gather you out of all countries, and bring you into your own land. 25 Then I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean; I will cleanse you from all your filthiness and from all your idols. 26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. 27 I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My judgments and do them.” Ezekiel 36:24-27

1 John 5:1 says

“Whoever believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and everyone who loves Him who begot also loves him who is begotten of Him” – to believe is more than a profession, it is to live what/who you believe.

You are promised new life when you are born of the Spirit – that no longer contends with your old life – and flesh. So, when you include homosexuality in your definition of yourself and your thoughts, struggles etc. you are not living the life of one who is born again. Jesus told this to one who needed a shift in their thinking – and he did not take kindly to what he said was his problem see Matt 19: 16-24 This man did all the outward things that he knew to be good, but Jesus looks to our heart and calls us to give up what is most precious to us and then come and follow Him.

1 John 3:4-6 is one of many measuring tools in scripture that would indicate if you are born again – ‘Whoever commits sin also commits lawlessness, and sin is lawlessness. 5 And you know that He was manifested to take away our sins, and in Him there is no sin. 6 Whoever abides in Him does not sin. Whoever sins has neither seen Him nor known Him.’

1John 3:9 - Whoever has been born of God does not sin, for His seed remains in him; and he cannot sin, because he has been born of God –

When you are born again, you cannot live a lifestyle contrary to God. You classify yourself as being one thing – a new creation in Christ.

Again, this is about identity, not if you identify as a homosexual, but do you identify as being born again. I would encourage you- in your fear of judgement – for it is a possible sign that the Holy Spirit is working – to convict. No one can inherit the Kingdom of God, unless they repent of sin – the old nature. Then they are able to enter in, for they cannot bring their flesh into what is of Spirit. This is what you are wanting. You are wanting to be accommodated in your state of sin dilemma. I will add that you are not the only one, unfortunately most of what is comprised in the churches are those who strive for this in myriad of mindsets and sin. The church is not meant to be so. For it is the very body of Christ and we each come together in His Spirit to encourage, worship, edify, admonish and share His Life with each other – and this is all done in love. Its not a place for the unregenerate. They can come, but they should not expect to be accommodated.

When you are born again, your life is moving onward and upward, away from the things of this world and our flesh. It is constantly aware of sin, and constantly turning from and repenting from what we are being shown by the Holy Spirit – this is called sanctification. God by his Spirit does this in us, as we participate with him – for it is a 2 way street. We don’t just collect His life, of forgiveness to go on to living as we have always lived! But instead it is the continual of denying oneself, and the picking up our cross and following Him – I WILL REPEAT WE CANNOT TAKE OUR FLESH ALONG WITH US – it must die in order that we may live with Him. What we give up, far outweighs what He gives us in return – now in our present life on earth and what we have to look forward to.

 

[LoricaLady]

Yeah I know you are right. The reason why I bring it up sometimes is because it is so much a big deal in Christian circles. But I guess you're right, I don't really need to share it with other people.

You can bet your bottom dollar that most, if not all, in the Church have some issues they don't want to bring out into the general congregation, if to anyone. We are told to confess our sins to one another, but that is meant for those who are truly walking obediently with the Lord. Many in Church are just going there for social reasons, sometimes even for financial contacts, and not a few others may be just pretend Christians. If the Father leads you to share, privately, with anyone, great. Otherwise, be private.

 

[salt-n-light]

Take it to us to have a debate under Christian advice, lol

 

[Sister glorious]

I am kind of scared to go to church. I struggle with same-sex attraction and I know that homosexuality is sin. I do not live the lifestyle but I still struggle with lust, which the Bible calls adultery and idolatry. My biggest fear is that the people inside the church will not be very kind to me. I see so many threads of people fighting about homosexuality and most people don't understand the struggles. I know that same-sex attraction is very unnatural and it makes people uncomfortable.

You have many people who are very uncomfortable with homosexuals in the church, but then those of us who want to obey God and be Christians who struggled with the desire see all the fighting and quarreling that the church is having about homosexuality. And some people seem very unmerciful. Yeah, they are your speaking the truth about Sin but they seem very nasty about it. I don't know. It makes me not want to go to church. Not because I am afraid of hearing the truth because I already know the truth and I know what scripture says about it, but because people seem to speak the truth without love.

The question is am I wrong about that?

Say that you have a professor who is very intelligent. He is your instructor and he will be your instructor for the rest of the school year. When you do your school work, you want to know if you are doing it right or if you are getting it wrong. But every time he corrects your mistakes he makes you feel like a complete stupid. You want to know what you're doing wrong but you just hate the way that he is correcting your mistakes.

Will it be better to be homeschooled and teach yourself or to continue to be taught by this guy that makes you feel stupid every time he corrects correct your mistakes, even though you are learning from him?

That's the way it seems sometimes with Christians. They do speak the truth about Sin but sometimes they just don't seem very loving about it.

I am not going around saying they are all so judgemental. We are all judgemental in many ways. I just sometimes wish that people could be less harsh in their judgments.

I don't know. Maybe I am completely in the wrong. I don't know what advice you can give me to be perfectly honest.

I just don't want to go to church and make people uncomfortable. But I also don't want to go to church and feel condemned.

Will God still accept me if I just stay at home and worship him?

Well church is supposed to be the "hospital" for the "spiritually" sick.People do tend to judge without understanding that Jesus promoted love and forgiveness.If you're serious about going to church then go. My prayer is that you'll find one that promotes love instead of hate.It might take some time but don't give up.
Blessings.

 

[Ginger Sunshyne]

I am kind of scared to go to church. I struggle with same-sex attraction and I know that homosexuality is sin. I do not live the lifestyle but I still struggle with lust, which the Bible calls adultery and idolatry. My biggest fear is that the people inside the church will not be very kind to me. I see so many threads of people fighting about homosexuality and most people don't understand the struggles. I know that same-sex attraction is very unnatural and it makes people uncomfortable.

You have many people who are very uncomfortable with homosexuals in the church, but then those of us who want to obey God and be Christians who struggled with the desire see all the fighting and quarreling that the church is having about homosexuality. And some people seem very unmerciful. Yeah, they are your speaking the truth about Sin but they seem very nasty about it. I don't know. It makes me not want to go to church. Not because I am afraid of hearing the truth because I already know the truth and I know what scripture says about it, but because people seem to speak the truth without love.

The question is am I wrong about that?

Say that you have a professor who is very intelligent. He is your instructor and he will be your instructor for the rest of the school year. When you do your school work, you want to know if you are doing it right or if you are getting it wrong. But every time he corrects your mistakes he makes you feel like a complete stupid. You want to know what you're doing wrong but you just hate the way that he is correcting your mistakes.

Will it be better to be homeschooled and teach yourself or to continue to be taught by this guy that makes you feel stupid every time he corrects correct your mistakes, even though you are learning from him?

That's the way it seems sometimes with Christians. They do speak the truth about Sin but sometimes they just don't seem very loving about it.

I am not going around saying they are all so judgemental. We are all judgemental in many ways. I just sometimes wish that people could be less harsh in their judgments.

I don't know. Maybe I am completely in the wrong. I don't know what advice you can give me to be perfectly honest.

I just don't want to go to church and make people uncomfortable. But I also don't want to go to church and feel condemned.

Will God still accept me if I just stay at home and worship him?

I've actually struggled with this exact same thing. I kept to myself. I didn't let anyone know how I was struggling with it. It was very hard. But it was better to just not let them know about that struggle. I was able to repent of the sin and marry my husband. He knows about my same sex attraction though, and he is very supportive of me. He helps me when I struggle with it. He helps me keep my mouth shut when the topic comes up in church small groups. I pray that you find someone like that who can be a helper for you.