How's your 30 something going?

look4hope

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How's my 30 something going...this morning?
Is going like crap. Poop. I am considered the meanest mom in the whole galaxy by my 8 year old. I shouted. It was louder than ever. I shouted at her to get ready for school after the 50th time of speaking nicely. Frustration got to me. I am the bad guy in the movie, today...and even if she moves on and forgets, I think a parent doesn't forget as easy.
 
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lunalinda

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My being 30-something is going....not great. At least sometimes, and mainly in one particular area. I'm a point where I don't know if I'll ever be married, the ultimate desire that still eludes me in so callous a fashion. I'm forcing myself to accept the possibility of never having this desire (be it God's will or my own actions) and trying to find a way to be okay with it. But what goes hand-in-hand with lack of marriage would also mean I'm going to have to say goodbye to having love, or intimacy, or even a future family. This would also entail that I may grow old alone and die alone. That's not a reality I was expecting to face in this juncture of my life, and it saddens me beyond what I can bear sometimes. This is not something I even want to call "reality." I'm not suicidal in the least, but oftentimes I'm not impervious to thoughts of...well, what's really my point then? What am I even here for? I was hoping I'd know the reason by now, but alas, I don't. And that's such an awful feeling sometimes.
 
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PhantomGaze

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So, I turned 31 two days ago, and I'd say... ok. I acquired a house earlier last year, and been pretty steady in making mortgage payments, have a nice boring little job, 2 nice boring little cars, a pointless little bachelor's degree, so far so good.

I would say that I really want to find a girl, and I do, but the ocean, and the mountain call me away. I need adventure. I want to write a book (current project), create a charity, and change the world as I travel through it.

Sure settling down and all that is nice, and it would be especially nice to have someone around the holidays but... once I'm done with my projects, I can satisfy myself with building some family dynasty. The idea of settling down doesn't sit right with me yet.
 
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wynning826

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I'm turning 30 in August. I'm not sure why I'm feeling nervous / anxious about it... Maybe because I don't know what to expect. I actually felt the same when I was in my 20's so maybe it's just me being paranoid.

Life is fine. I have a great rewarding career where I look forward to go to everyday. I have a collection of hobbies that I actively engage in. I am serving my community on my bday instead of just eating out, which is what I would never do in my 20's. I think in my 30's, I am finally able to develop my true self and not really caring what people think about me.

In terms of dating, I broke up with my ex in January, so it still stings me too much to start dating. Even though everyday is great (in terms of career and pursing my interests) and I praise God for it, but after a busy day I still feel quite lonely when I curl up in bed.

I wonder if it is too late to date now that I'm reaching my 30's. Seems like my options have drastically reduced.
 
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amariselle

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I'm turning 30 in August. I'm not sure why I'm feeling nervous / anxious about it... Maybe because I don't know what to expect. I actually felt the same when I was in my 20's so maybe it's just me being paranoid.

Life is fine. I have a great rewarding career where I look forward to go to everyday. I have a collection of hobbies that I actively engage in. Serving my community on my bday instead of just eating out, which is what I would never do in my 20's. I think in my 30's, I am finally able to develop my true self and not really caring what people think about me.

In terms of dating, I broke up with my ex in January, so it still stings me too much to start dating. Even though everyday is great (in terms of career and pursing my interests) and I praise God for it, but after a busy day I still feel quite lonely when I curl up in bed.

I wonder if it is too late to date now that I'm reaching my 30's. Seems like my options have drastically reduced.

I can relate to that last sentence. I didn't get married until I was 31 and I had a failed engagement actually, at 29.

After that, and turning 30 several months later, I truly believed it was probably to late for me.

Getting older can be so difficult to wrap your head around. At the same time every single day is a blessing.

I'm glad to know you're staying busy, helping others and have hobbies as well. :)

God bless.
 
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wynning826

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I can relate to that last sentence. I didn't get married until I was 31 and I had a failed engagement actually, at 29.

After that, and turning 30 several months later, I truly believed it was probably to late for me.

Getting older can be so difficult to wrap your head around. At the same time every single day is a blessing.

I'm glad to know you're staying busy, helping others and have hobbies as well. :)

God bless.

Thanks for sharing your story, amariselle. I'm very happy to hear you were able to find your true love.

How did you overcome that sense of loneliness or feeling like it is too late?

I still have a bit of trouble getting out of that rut.
 
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amariselle

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Thanks for sharing your story, amariselle. I'm very happy everything to hear you were able to find your true love.

How did you overcome that sense of loneliness or feeling like it is too late?

I still have a bit of trouble getting out of that rut.

I can definitely understand. It definitely felt like I was stuck in a rut as well. I even felt like after a failed engagement I may not deserve to find anyone else. I know that may sound odd, but I did feel that way for a time.

I prayed about my situation and asked God to help me and give me the strength not to give up. I truly did feel that perhaps God might not want me to ever get married, because my engagement had failed. I had a lot of guilt over that.

In any case, ultimately, I knew that I couldn't close down and shut myself off from people (which has always been easy for me to do because I struggle with anxiety). Ultimately, I'm glad I didn't or I would never have met my husband. :)

I would just like to encourage you that it is not too late. I know the loneliness is hard, truly, but it is not too late.

And I know it sounds cliche, but taking your worries and concerns to God in prayer truly does help.
 
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Excellent, and I'm only 28. We'll see what the Lord brings.

Its been four years since the US Navy rejected my enlistment, but now I know what I'm doing. I aim to enlist with the French Foreign Legion, saving all I can over the next year or two, then flying to France and sealing the deal. After five years of service, I may continue or leave, I don't know yet. Afterward, I could get work as a security contractor aboard merchant ships, or I could move to northern Sweden or Norway.

I thought about Singapore, there are a few FFL and expats in Singapore, but the news out of Singapore's very disconcerting. Relative to it's size I mean, because the news out of Sweden, and Europe in general, is troubling. I'm counting on the rural north being more peaceful.
 
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look4hope

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Excellent, and I'm only 28. We'll see what the Lord brings.

Its been four years since the US Navy rejected my enlistment, but now I know what I'm doing. I aim to enlist with the French Foreign Legion, saving all I can over the next year or two, then flying to France and sealing the deal. After five years of service, I may continue or leave, I don't know yet. Afterward, I could get work as a security contractor aboard merchant ships, or I could move to northern Sweden or Norway.

I thought about Singapore, there are a few FFL and expats in Singapore, but the news out of Singapore's very disconcerting. Relative to it's size I mean, because the news out of Sweden, and Europe in general, is troubling. I'm counting on the rural north being more peaceful.


Wishing you the best on what ever you do. Stay safe!
:)
 
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My being 30-something is going....not great. At least sometimes, and mainly in one particular area. I'm a point where I don't know if I'll ever be married, the ultimate desire that still eludes me in so callous a fashion. I'm forcing myself to accept the possibility of never having this desire (be it God's will or my own actions) and trying to find a way to be okay with it. But what goes hand-in-hand with lack of marriage would also mean I'm going to have to say goodbye to having love, or intimacy, or even a future family. This would also entail that I may grow old alone and die alone. That's not a reality I was expecting to face in this juncture of my life, and it saddens me beyond what I can bear sometimes. This is not something I even want to call "reality." I'm not suicidal in the least, but oftentimes I'm not impervious to thoughts of...well, what's really my point then? What am I even here for? I was hoping I'd know the reason by now, but alas, I don't. And that's such an awful feeling sometimes.

I know this was posted a while ago, but I just want to say I relate so much to this. I'm smack dab in the middle of my 30s and feel like I've done all the things they say to do when you're still young and single and free: Travel! Get a hobby! Get a degree! Get fit and healthy! Enjoy art and life! But I'm left wondering...am I just going to be doing this stuff and puttering around alone for however long I have left on earth? I really relate to the "I'm not suicidal but..." feeling. No spouse, no kids, I don't really like cats...now what? Career isn't what it was in the 80s and 90s for single women. And, like you, I never expected to have to face the sobering reality of "forever alone" looming over my head so soon without much else to look forward to.

...but there are also some positives. I care less and less about what others think, which can help in living a Christian life. I can work my way through challenges, and remind myself of what God's done for me in the past to keep hope alive (for non-relationship related things). And, at this age, I feel like I can be the eccentric older lady in any given situation if I so choose :grin:
 
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I know at times decisions have to be made, but sometimes we get ahead of God.... I've done this many times but i other situations I've seen His handy work on my life... Things are far from perfect... But we can make it with Him
 
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My 30's has consisted of a considerable amount of schadenfreude about this:

where-are-all-the-good-men01.png


But apart from that, it's nice to finally be getting somewhere in my career and do work that benefits society in tangible ways. That's one of the bigger differences between now and my 20's. Back then I did work I hated for a boss I hated which contributed nothing of value to the world. Today is different and I'm grateful for that.

Also, there's a stronger sense of individualism now. I don't really care if my parents and siblings approve of my life choices. I rarely approve of theirs but I keep my mouth shut about it and I expect them to extend me the same courtesy.

I think I'm more at peace with life, the universe and everything than would've ever been possible back in my 20's. I think I prefer how things are now, particularly with the schadenfreude.
 
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