Is it okay to date another Christian whose been divorced?

Is it okay to date another Christian whose been divorced?

  • Yes

    Votes: 26 61.9%
  • No

    Votes: 16 38.1%

  • Total voters
    42

98cwitr

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Do you mean that they should marry other than burn? I'm not quite clear on what you're asking?

I think whatever the Bible thinks..regarless, but please let me know if I understand correctly before I answer.

I am asking whether or not you are applying what Paul says in his letter to the Corinth church to divorced people or not (non-virgins).

@Lybrah, what is the reason this person is in a divorced state?
 
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Kenny'sID

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Matthew 5:32 tells us that a husband who wrongfully divorces his wife causes or pushes his wife to commit adultery because the marriage contract has not been Biblically dissolved. The exception clause is if she committed fornication thereby breaking the marriage contract.

If the husband Biblically divorces his wife (Which is by her unfaithfulness), then the husband is not causing her to commit adultery (after their marriage with other men) because they are no longer married.

Matthew 19:9 makes it even more clear that a husband can divorce and remarry if she was unfaithful (i.e. for the cause of fornication).

It says,

"And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery..." (Matthew 19:9).

It says whosever puts away (divorces) his wife and marries another commits adultery; Except it be for the cause of fornication. In other words, just because the sentence "except it be for fornication" is in the middle does not change the meaning of the sentence. If you move that sentence to the beginning or the end of the sentence, the meaning still remains the same.

As for the second part in Matthew 19:9 that says, "and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.": Well, this is again (like the second part of Matthew 5:32) whereby it refers to the guilty party and not the innocent party (Who divorced properly on Biblical grounds)....

Good points, and assuming that settles that, something that hasn't been brought up... God has his hands on the laws of the land and though I think here towards the end times, that's not going to be the case, it always has in the past been the case that divorce and remarriage is legal....today. Should that tell us anything? IDK

Today's divorce procedures are designed to take time and effort/make people think first, another thing that "seems" a pretty good set up for the those hard hearts of our time.

Would Jesus say the same about the hard hearts today as he did back then? As I mentioned before, it was actually adultery in the OT as well, yet it seems some who did it could remain in Gods good graces.

So much to consider.
 
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Kenny'sID

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I am asking whether or not you are applying what Paul says in his letter to the Corinth church to divorced people or not (non-virgins).

Give me just the set of verses you refer to so I can look closely and be sure. Or better yet, you can just condense the pertinent point in your own words.
 
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SinnerSavedByFaith

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I know the bible says that if a man divorces his wife and marries another, then he and that new woman are adulterers. But in this day and age, it is extremely hard not to meet someone who is divorced. Especially when you are older. Are there any exceptions? I don't want to commit adultery!
You have to wait for the LORD. HE will not cause you to sin. HE will bring the right one into your life that waited as well.
 
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Good points, and assuming that settles that, something that hasn't been brought up... God has his hands on the laws of the land and though I think here towards the end times, that's not going to be the case, it always has in the past been the case that divorce and remarriage is legal....today. Should that tell us anything? IDK

Today's divorce procedures are designed to take time and effort/make people think first, another thing that "seems" a pretty good set up for the those hard hearts of our time.

Would Jesus say the same about the hard hearts today as he did back then? As I mentioned before, it was actually adultery in the OT as well, yet it seems some who did it could remain in Gods good graces.

So much to consider.

Yes, the ways of this world will say you can divorce for any reason. This is wrong. Also, it is not a command that we divorce our wives if they are unfaithful. It merely says that we have Biblical grounds to do so. But what is always lawful is not always profitable. If the husband decided to forgive his wife and she was willing to truly change, it would be a better thing indeed. A husband and wife in Christ should always try and resolve their issues no matter how bad things may be. Yes, there are circumstances where one spouse can be abusive. But I believe a separation (not a divorce) for the one partner's safety is in order (until the other person gets help is what is needed). For Jesus never said that divorce is allowed just because the other partner is abusive. Granted, it is not right, but that is where the love of God comes into play.

Also, I want to add that how can a person commit adultery in marrying a divorced a woman? Well, if she was divorced and it was not on BIblical grounds, then the marriage is technically not nullified and the person marrying them is committing adultery or unfaithfulness of a marriage covenant. This is what I believe the second half of Matthew 5:32 and the second half of Matthew 19:9 is talking about. But what about if she was divorced by Biblical means and the marriage was dissolved? How can a person commit adultery with her then? Well, I believe the wording would be different in this case but a man who would marry her would be guilty of sexual immorality because she broke a marriage covenant by her unfaithfulness. Perhaps this is why Jesus uses the word "fornication" instead of adultery when he gives us the exception clause (i.e. except it be for the cause of fornication). For she went outside the marriage and is now on her own in fornication (i.e. sex outside of marriage).


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Blade

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I know the bible says that if a man divorces his wife and marries another, then he and that new woman are adulterers. But in this day and age, it is extremely hard not to meet someone who is divorced. Especially when you are older. Are there any exceptions? I don't want to commit adultery!

Hi Lybrah.. I pray each person handles this with care. As in all things.. if we lead anyone the wrong way .. we WILL answer to a GOD!

That being said. This God Lybrah.. does not judge you nor condemn and "but in this day and age," God the Father of our lord Jesus christ has not changed. As you can already see you have what someone else would do. Your heart is already leaning one way. This is NOT between you and anyone here. There are reasons why we can be divorced. Like in this case. What happen (NOT ASKING DONT TELL) did he do something that made her leave? That in Gods eyes is not the same as..if she/he leaves blah blah blah.

No one can speak for how deep wide huge lol the love of our Father is and His forgiveness. If we confess our sins..He forgives for EVER and cleans's us from ALL unrighteousness. I know of NO SIN that is not forgiven but one and this is not that. Sweet dear sister this is between you him and GOD!

So is this adultery? No one here can say for no one here knows all about this and DONT TELL ANYONE! I can tell you of people that never left are still married yet had yeah.. awful things go on..yet stayed married. Yet others it all went wrong and some of that they had no choice other times they did. My mom married what 4 times? God still worked in her life and FORGIVES! But we dont go at this thinking.. I will just ask God to forgive me after... that is unwise. I dont see you in that :)

I think you from what you said so far are making this out to be bigger than it is. You take this to your FATHER! You talk to HIM about this HE WILL ..hear me? HE WILL give you a peace on what you should do. Again from just what you said so far.. you seem to be making this to be bigger then it really is. You YOU need to pray about this. But your FATHER? Yeah.. NOT against you. Lol every devorice person is NOT walking in sin. We sin we goof up .. REPENT and go on with life. Keep JESUS as LORD! and DONT WORRY Give it to Him
 
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Unix

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Quoting a comment from page 3, actually I'm attracted to intellectual and emotional intelligence as well as how a girl is clothed - there's plenty to look at when it comes to appearance and hands. Also so called "lust" is easy to confine to just holding hands. This has worked so well for me and someone I dated last Year, we're not together anymore nor do I think of her anylonger at all since a Week:
People are forgetting that Adultery doesn't start with an action. It starts with a thought... Didn't Jesus say that all who lust have already committed adultery in there heart? And yes, you can be attracted without lusting. But to find some one attractive lust will inevitably follow. This is the downfall of the flesh.



From page 4. My comment on this: It would be difficult for me to revert in my development and I've learned lots about younger women who are just girls, now:
Just be careful whoever you are dating is not making bad marriages a habit. Divorce is not a trivial matter spiritually, and if the person you are dating is not aware of that and taking steps to do better, that is a bad sign.
 
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DeepWater

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I know the bible says that if a man divorces his wife and marries another, then he and that new woman are adulterers. But in this day and age, it is extremely hard not to meet someone who is divorced. Especially when you are older. Are there any exceptions? I don't want to commit adultery!

Actually it says that "if she be married to another while her HUSBAND yet liveth, she be called...."
So, do you see that word HUSBAND?
She is still married to him. = If she be married to another while her HUSBAND is alive..
See it?
> 2 Husbands<
This is how a KJV bible, can help with nutty theology regarding this verse, that is twisted endlessly by self righteous people to try to trap good Christians and non christians into never finding a good mate and having a good = rest of their lives.
So, the answer is..
Find a good Christian to love, marry, ....and then be happy.
And tell anyone who wants to preach that you cant have a second husband or wife or a second chance in life, to take a hike off a short pier.
 
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Unix

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Are You implying the bonds that are formed don't go away? What I would say is the many Years went by without sex and kisses erradicate the so called "experience"-level when there has been no continuous sex-life. Imagine this: Some women are not convinced about sex being a good thing in a relationship. I've been in two such long relationships. Should the unbalanced relationships be my final doom? I'm not speaking of rights, sex is not a right no matter what relationship and sex is only natural with Your faithful soulmate where both have treated each other fair and ended up together the right way in the first place. I'm merely speaking of so called "experience"-level which can be laughed at: Just like You won't repeat everything You did in the period You weren't a devoted Christian but had turned atheist or agnostic, just the same You won't repeat the same patterns, or even thoughts about lusting after (naked?) looks nor about sex life:
What's the difference between marrying somebody who has divorced and somebody who is still single but slept with many women? Isn't both adultery?
 
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Unix

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Biblically divorces? Is this now an act depending solely on the man? In fact, isn't biblically divorcing about that the ex-wife, the mother of the children also, having to find a new spouse before the biblical divorce is actually fullfilled? And is this a thing? I see the fairness in this, but I fail to see how jealousy based on nothing to be that bothered about as nothing happened when I dated a girl last Year (but she was still a bit jealous in fact many Years after divorce) is founded on something and if on something on what exactly and how was that something substantial enough for me to just give up on the new young girl from start just because? As my ex-wife kept a good distances for many Years, starting even when we were married, I fail to see how and why I should have been supposed to wait passively for more than a decade until this point last Year or until 2017?:
If the husband Biblically divorces his wife (Which is by her unfaithfulness), the husband is not causing her to commit adultery (after their marriage with other men) because they are no longer married.



My adult life is almost as long as how many Years the girl I dated last Year had lived altogether since birth. Also, I have at this point waited, i.e. abstaining, after the last long relationship for as long as she had been legally responsible for her actions up until we dated/courted each other (meaning from when she turned 15, I first contacted her on her 18th birthday, so no I did not do anything whatsoever even a day too early in her life, and I at first just wrote with her for a prolonged period).
So sure, I have waited, she has waited, both of us equally long and we are not for each other as she would hesitate using the fine gifts I gave her: Bible both digital (great Bible Study software I chose for her very carefully what she should go with (which platform) but I'm only hoping she will add modules, I don't know if she will) and print. A girl has to be even more intelligent and thereby somehow recognize that I'm actually doing something when researching Bible scholarship and religion and authoring also about ethics, even if she won't have had previous experience nor even want to make a substantial amount of hard work within the area, if she wants to shine I'll recognize she wants to and let her bloom in her faith, but again if she doesn't let my research and resulting heart and mind compensate for my weaknesses I will notice:
You have to wait for the LORD. HE will not cause you to sin. HE will bring the right one into your life that waited as well.
 
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BukiRob

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Yes, let's look at God's nature. God's nature is to be faithful, even when we are unfaithful.

Now translate that to the marriage covenant, and you will see why Jesus never says that divorce and remarriage is not committing adultery. People draw this conclusion from the phrase 'whoever divorces his wife, except for fornication, causes her to commit adultery...' In this example, the woman who is divorced for fornication has already committed adultery.

In both other recorded examples where Jesus talks about divorce, he makes no exceptions. He says that "whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery..." and "if a woman divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery..." (Mark) and "Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and he who marries a divorced woman commits adultery..." (Luke)

A marriage relationship is God's plan for our sexuality. That doesn't mean that's His plan for us. If it were, why would Jesus tell His disciples that there are some who make themselves Eunuchs for the Kingdom of Heaven? Also, why would the apostle Paul say that it is better for a man not to marry in order that he may focus on the things of God?

The example God gives us through His word is of one who will remain faithful even when a covenant is broken. If adultery is 'righteous' grounds for divorce, then every man and woman in the world can righteously divorce his or her spouse based on the definition of adultery that we are given by Jesus.


Okay... God's plan is marriage = 1 man and 1 woman YET, he allowed a man to marry more than 1 woman did he not?

As I said, many of you are MISSING what Yeshua was speaking to.

Deuteronomy 24:1
"When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out from his house,and she leaves his house and goes and becomes another man's wife, and if the latter husband turns against her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies who took her to be his wife, then her former husband who sent her away is not allowed to take her again to be his wife, since she has been defiled; for that is an abomination before the LORD, and you shall not bring sin on the land which the LORD your God gives you as an inheritance.

So are you now going to say that scripture is NOT the word of G-d?

Yeshua is speaking to G-d's PERFECT WILL.

Matthew 19:8 He said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way.
 
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BukiRob

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Also, we see the word "fornication" can mean "adultery" or "sexual immorality" in general, as well. So I am starting to lean heavily in favor with the idea that Jesus was talking about cheating while after being married is grounds for a divorce (in addition to lying about one's virginity), as well. In Ezekiel 16:26, we see God tell his people that they committed "fornication." In verse 8 (Ezekiel 16:8), we see God tell Israel that he entered into a covenant with them and He covered their nakedness, and they became His possession. In other words, the word "fornication" is used in reference to sexual unfaithfulness after one is already married.
...

Adultery can ONLY occur if one or both parties involved are MARRIED.

Fornication can ONLY occur where BOTH people are NOT married

Adultery; Strongs 3429 to have unlawful intercourse with another's wife, to commit adultery with: τινα. in Biblical Greek middle μοιχωμαι, to commit adultery: of the man,
 
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BukiRob

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Why did Moses permit divorce? Because people's hearts were hard. Why did Israel cry out for an earthly king? Because they did not consider God to be their king. Why do we seek to gratify the flesh? Because we are sinful.

So why remarry knowing these things? Why not be content with Christ as our companion? Is not remarriage a pursuit of flesh-desire?

I don't feel that just because we live in a covenant of mercy and grace that we simply have a free license to sin again both man and God without consequence.

Does not G-d himself say "Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him."

G-d said this when Adam was in the garden and Adam spoke with G-d in a way that you and I currently CAN NOT. Your entire argument about having G-d as your help-meet fails Genesis 2:18 Adams relationship with G-d was perfect because at the time, Adam WAS SINLESS.
 
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SkyWriting

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It's important to understand grace, what it is and what it is not. Grace does not mean that all choices are without consequences. Remember Ananias and Sapphira in Acts 5:1-10. Besides, on one hand being not bound by any laws or rules of the OT and on the other hand where it talks about the subject of being faithful to spouses. It's the kind of subject people need to be careful about picking and choosing and how it should be applied now.

The topic was dating divorced people as a form a adultery.

  1. To honor father and mother (Ex. 20:12) (CCA41).
  2. Not to smite a father or a mother (Ex. 21:15) (CCN44).
  3. Not to curse a father or mother (Ex. 21:17) (CCN46).
  4. To reverently fear father and mother (Lev. 19:3) (CCA42).
  5. To be fruitful and multiply (Gen. 1:28) (CCA43).
  6. That a eunuch shall not marry a daughter of Israel (Deut. 23:2) (CCN136).
  7. That a mamzer shall not marry the daughter of a Jew (Deut. 23:3) (CCN137). See Prohibited Marriages and Illegitimate Children.
  8. That an Ammonite or Moabite shall never marry the daughter of an Israelite (Deut. 23:4) (negative).
  9. Not to exclude a descendant of Esau from the community of Israel for three generations (Deut. 23:8-9) (negative).
  10. Not to exclude an Egyptian from the community of Israel for three generations (Deut. 23:8-9) (negative).
  11. That there shall be no harlot (in Israel); that is, that there shall be no intercourse with a woman, without previous marriage with a deed of marriage and formal declaration of marriage (Deut. 23:18) (CCN133). See Marriage.
  12. To take a wife by kiddushin, the sacrament of marriage (Deut. 24:1) (CCA44). See The Process of Marriage: Kiddushin and Nisuin.
  13. That the newly married husband shall (be free) for one year to rejoice with his wife (Deut. 24:5) (affirmative).
  14. That a bridegroom shall be exempt for a whole year from taking part in any public labor, such as military service, guarding the wall and similar duties (Deut. 24:5) (negative).
  15. Not to withhold food, clothing or conjugal rights from a wife (Ex. 21:10) (CCN42). See The Marital Relationship.
  16. That the woman suspected of adultery shall be dealt with as prescribed in the Torah (Num. 5:30) (affirmative).
  17. That one who defames his wife's honor (by falsely accusing her of unchastity before marriage) must live with her all his lifetime (Deut. 22:19) (affirmative).
  18. That a man may not divorce his wife concerning whom he has published an evil report (about her unchastity before marriage) (Deut. 22:19) (negative).
  19. To divorce by a formal written document (Deut. 24:1) (affirmative). SeeThe Process of Obtaining a Divorce.
  20. That one who divorced his wife shall not remarry her, if after the divorce she had been married to another man (Deut. 24:4) (CCN134). See Divorce.
  21. That a widow whose husband died childless must not be married to anyone but her deceased husband's brother (Deut. 25:5) (CCN135) (this is only in effect insofar as it requires the procedure of release below).
  22. To marry the widow of a brother who has died childless (Deut. 25:5) (this is only in effect insofar as it requires the procedure of release below ) (CCA45).
  23. That the widow formally release the brother-in-law (if he refuses to marry her) (Deut. 25:7-9) (CCA46).
Forbidden Sexual Relations
  1. Not to indulge in familiarities with relatives, such as kissing, embracing, winking, skipping, which may lead to incest (Lev. 18:6) (CCN110).
  2. Not to commit incest with one's mother (Lev. 18:7) (CCN112). See Prohibited Marriages and Illegitimate Children.
  3. Not to commit sodomy with one's father (Lev. 18:7) (CCN111).
  4. Not to commit incest with one's father's wife (Lev. 18:8) (CCN113). See Prohibited Marriages and Illegitimate Children.
  5. Not to commit incest with one's sister (Lev. 18:9) (CCN127). See Prohibited Marriages and Illegitimate Children.
  6. Not to commit incest with one's father's wife's daughter (Lev. 18:11) (CCN128). See Prohibited Marriages and Illegitimate Children.
  7. Not to commit incest with one's son's daughter (Lev. 18:10) (CCN119) (Note: CC treats this and the next as one commandment; however, Rambam treats them as two). See Prohibited Marriages and Illegitimate Children.
  8. Not to commit incest with one's daughter's daughter (Lev. 18:10) (CCN119) (Note: CC treats this and the previous as one commandment; however, Rambam treats them as two). See Prohibited Marriages and Illegitimate Children.
  9. Not to commit incest with one's daughter (this is not explicitly in the Torah but is inferred from other explicit commands that would include it) (CCN120). See Prohibited Marriages and Illegitimate Children.
  10. Not to commit incest with one's fathers sister (Lev. 18:12) (CCN129). See Prohibited Marriages and Illegitimate Children.
  11. Not to commit incest with one's mother's sister (Lev. 18:13) (CCN130). See Prohibited Marriages and Illegitimate Children.
  12. Not to commit incest with one's father's brothers wife (Lev. 18:14) (CCN125). See Prohibited Marriages and Illegitimate Children.
  13. Not to commit sodomy with one's father's brother (Lev. 18:14) (CCN114).
  14. Not to commit incest with one's son's wife (Lev. 18:15) (CCN115). See Prohibited Marriages and Illegitimate Children.
  15. Not to commit incest with one's brother's wife (Lev. 18:16) (CCN126). See Prohibited Marriages and Illegitimate Children.
  16. Not to commit incest with one's wife's daughter (Lev. 18:17) (CCN121). See Prohibited Marriages and Illegitimate Children.
  17. Not to commit incest with the daughter of one's wife's son (Lev. 18:17) (CCN122). See Prohibited Marriages and Illegitimate Children.
  18. Not to commit incest with the daughter of one's wife's daughter (Lev. 18:17) (CCN123). See Prohibited Marriages and Illegitimate Children.
  19. Not to commit incest with one's wife's sister (Lev. 18:18) (CCN131). See Prohibited Marriages and Illegitimate Children.
  20. Not to have intercourse with a woman, in her menstrual period (Lev. 18:19) (CCN132).
  21. Not to have intercourse with another man's wife (Lev. 18:20) (CCN124).
  22. Not to commit sodomy with a male (Lev. 18:22) (CCN116).
  23. Not to have intercourse with a beast (Lev. 18:23) (CCN117).
  24. That a woman shall not have intercourse with a beast (Lev. 18:23) (CCN118).
  25. Not to castrate the male of any species; neither a man, nor a domestic or wild beast, nor a fowl (Lev. 22:24) (CCN143).
.
.
.609 . To have a place outside the camp for sanitary purposes (Deut. 23:13) (affirmative)
610 To keep that place sanitary (Deut. 23:14-15) (affirmative).
611 Always to remember what Amalek did (Deut. 25:17) (CCA76).
612. That the evil done to us by Amalek shall not be forgotten (Deut. 25:19) (CCN194).
613. To destroy the seed of Amalek (Deut. 25:19) (CCA77).

The 613 Commandments - Mitzvahs & Traditions
 
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Biblically divorces?

Do you not believe Jesus words when he said, "...Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery..." ? (See Matthew 19:9).

Unix said:
Is this now an act depending solely on the man?

Did I say such a thing? Jesus merely used the husband and wife scenario as an example of his teaching on divorce. In other words, there is no gender partiality going on here.

Unix said:
In fact, isn't biblically divorcing about that the ex-wife, the mother of the children also, having to find a new spouse before the biblical divorce is actually fullfilled? And is this a thing? I see the fairness in this, but I fail to see how jealousy based on nothing to be that bothered about as nothing happened when I dated a girl last Year (but she was still a bit jealous in fact many Years after divorce) is founded on something and if on something on what exactly and how was that something substantial enough for me to just give up on the new young girl from start just because? As my ex-wife kept a good distances for many Years, starting even when we were married, I fail to see how and why I should have been supposed to wait passively for more than a decade until this point last Year or until 2017?

Now at this part you totally lost me. You may need to provide a commentary on what you are saying in each of these sentences.


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Unix

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What I meant was that the ex-wife has to first find a new spouse before I'm free. That's what I've heard being sid by several pastors from different countries. Isn't this so? And if not I feel lost about what a Biblical divorce is:
Now at this part you totally lost me. You may need to provide a commentary on what you are saying in each of these sentences.
 
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Adultery can ONLY occur if one or both parties involved are MARRIED.

Fornication can ONLY occur where BOTH people are NOT married

Adultery; Strongs 3429 to have unlawful intercourse with another's wife, to commit adultery with: τινα. in Biblical Greek middle μοιχωμαι, to commit adultery: of the man,

That is what I initially concluded but if you were to read Ezekiel 16:26 it uses the word "fornication" in reference for Israel breaking God's covenant (Which is like a marriage). Then there is also the story of Hosea that is a testimony, as well.


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What I meant was that the ex-wife has to first find a new spouse before I'm free. That's what I've heard being sid by several pastors from different countries. Isn't this so? And if not I feel lost about what a Biblical divorce is:

Sorry, my friend. That is not the case. One is only free if your spouse either dies or if they cheat on you (Thereby giving you grounds for you to divorce them).


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