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what are you feeling right now? (23)

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Jeshu

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Ok, I can agree. You're right. I wished I never knew such people in the first place. I dislike religion as much as politics. Its like a deep dark pit of ugliness.

So very true brother, the very place they murdered our Lord Jesus, both Jew and Gentile killed Him. And also the very place were God's witness get murdered time and again.

I know that people who teach the word of God falsely, have much to answer for, for they smear God's loving truth through the mud. What that concerns I'm like you and long for they day all such being dies out of our midst. I can't wait till the abomination that causes desolation is revealed to all humanity and the Church of God repents of its fornication trip with that devilish harlot in charge of all this misery going on and we learn to love rightly like our Lord Jesus.

A constant battle isn't it?
 
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yeshuaslavejeff

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I try to do right, I see darkness all around me. I see it in politics, religion, and myself too.
All i want is the Lord, because only He is unstained by this world. Who else wants Christ alone? Anyone? Is it just me? Am i alone? Away with theology and politics. I only want the Lord who alone is truth.
Amein, HalleluYAH !
It requires a lot of patiences, and long suffering, and endurance, (and wisdom - trusting GOD),
that you and I and others here already realize this...
one day , one hour ,
one minute at a time.
 
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W2L

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So very true brother, the very place they murdered our Lord Jesus, both Jew and Gentile killed Him. And also the very place were God's witness get murdered time and again.

I know that people who teach the word of God falsely, have much to answer for, for they smear God's loving truth through the mud. What that concerns I'm like you and long for they day all such being dies out of our midst. I can't wait till the abomination that causes desolation is revealed to all humanity and the Church of God repents of its fornication trip with that devilish harlot in charge of all this misery going on and we learn to love rightly like our Lord Jesus.

A constant battle isn't it?
Yes
the battle is incessantly wearisome. Thats why i say the Lord is the only beauty i see. Im so tired of how this mixing pot of contentious ideas makes me feel. Thats why i embrace simplicity, because it makes sense. Everything else is futile.
Forgive my anger and frustration. There are things that really bother me. I should avoid them.
 
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W2L

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Amein, HalleluYAH !
It requires a lot of patiences, and long suffering, and endurance, (and wisdom - trusting GOD),
that you and I and others here already realize this...
one day , one hour ,
one minute at a time.
I need more wisdom. No man need endure how I feel. Wisdom would tell me to avoid the path of darkmess and those who travel it. I am foolish.
 
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Jeshu

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Yes
the battle is incessantly wearisome. Thats why i say the Lord is the only beauty i see. Im so tired of how this mixing pot of contentious ideas makes me feel. Thats why i embrace simplicity, because it makes sense. Everything else is futile.
Forgive my anger and frustration. There are things that really bother me. I should avoid them.

Oh brother how can you avoid them when satan places them on your path time and again? To overcome in the power of love is the answer you want to see.

I'll share you a poem I wrote on Judgment day, (my own,) I hope we might find oneness in that perspective of His judgments in our lives down here?

Much love your way brother. You will prevail for I know you have committed your course to Jesus and no one else will do.

:hug:

Oh Come, Glorious Judgment!

Judgment Day begins when you meet up with Jesus,
He will search out your heart completely,
dividing the sheep from the goat!

He will address your inner lovelessness with His love,
and chase the clinging coldness away,
from death setting your soul wholly free!

Truly Judgment Day, is a day of ecstatic joy,
freedom for all those hurting and killed,
Only His Loving Truth ruling your inner reality.

Bad religion shall no longer cause any bother,
As His loving joy now finds deeper root,
Lush growth replacing all the deadness!

Yet Judgment Day will be the end of your fear,
As no terror may travel on The Way,
All of you in union, praising the Lamb!

Your big I, gets new function in the rear,
Loving Jesus ruling as king in place!
You loving our Heavenly Father dearly.

In all your life's deeds The Son you'll meet,
Answerable for all that you have done,
In good and bad His truth visiting you!

Judgment Day is about being rightly placed,
good and loving upfront - to B(b)e -
all bad behind - passing away!
 
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Jeshu

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I need more wisdom. No man need endure how I feel. Wisdom would tell me to avoid the path of darkmess and those who travel it. I am foolish.

No I don't think so brother, not so much foolish as being deeply hurt and lashing out at your tormentors in your wounded state.

Our Lord, and everyone who is His, knows about that reality very well! I hurt it every day myself and rejoice the Words of our Lord each time He comes and comforts me with them.

Micah 7
What misery is mine!
I am like one who gathers summer fruit
at the gleaning of the vineyard;
there is no cluster of grapes to eat,
none of the early figs that I crave.
The faithful have been swept from the land;
not one upright person remains.
Everyone lies in wait to shed blood;
they hunt each other with nets.
Both hands are skilled in doing evil;
the ruler demands gifts,
the judge accepts bribes,
the powerful dictate what they desire—
they all conspire together.
The best of them is like a brier,
the most upright worse than a thorn hedge.
The day God visits you has come,
the day your watchmen sound the alarm.
Now is the time of your confusion.
Do not trust a neighbor;
put no confidence in a friend.
Even with the woman who lies in your embrace
guard the words of your lips.
For a son dishonors his father,
a daughter rises up against her mother,
a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law—
a man’s enemies are the members of his own household.



But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord,
I wait for God my Savior;
my God will hear me.




Do not gloat over me, my enemy!
Though I have fallen, I will rise.
Though I sit in darkness,
the Lord will be my light.
Because I have sinned against him,
I will bear the Lord’s wrath,
until he pleads my case
and upholds my cause.
He will bring me out into the light;
I will see his righteousness.
Then my enemy will see it
and will be covered with shame,
she who said to me,
“Where is the Lord your God?”
My eyes will see her downfall;
even now she will be trampled underfoot
like mire in the streets.



The day for building your walls will come,
the day for extending your boundaries.
In that day people will come to you
from Assyria and the cities of Egypt,
even from Egypt to the Euphrates
and from sea to sea
and from mountain to mountain.
The earth will become desolate because of its inhabitants,
as the result of their deeds.



Shepherd your people with your staff,
the flock of your inheritance,
which lives by itself in a forest,
in fertile pasturelands.
Let them feed in Bashan and Gilead
as in days long ago.



“As in the days when you came out of Egypt,
I will show them my wonders.”



Nations will see and be ashamed,
deprived of all their power.
They will put their hands over their mouths
and their ears will become deaf.
They will lick dust like a snake,
like creatures that crawl on the ground.
They will come trembling out of their dens;
they will turn in fear to the Lord our God
and will be afraid of you.
Who is a God like you,
who pardons sin and forgives the transgression
of the remnant of his inheritance?
You do not stay angry forever
but delight to show mercy.
You will again have compassion on us;
you will tread our sins underfoot
and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.
You will be faithful to Jacob,
and show love to Abraham,
as you pledged on oath to our ancestors
in days long ago.
 
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Jeshu

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Hope you are feeling better Jeshu.

Thanks for the concern brother, it hasn't been the best day. Rather low and a lot of anxiety still. I always get that after a psychosis. It can be so hard to cast out fear when it simply wont leave me even if I got nothing I'm scared about fear can still torment me. Weird how that goes.

Hanging in though, and still adding more hours of sleep every day. Sleep is what I truly need to get back on my feet again. I sleep about four times a day at the moment so that is a massive improvement to how things have been the last months.

How are you doing? Still writing? I remember you finished writing a book not that long ago, did you get some good responses to that?
 
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chaoticfirefly

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That doesn't sound right firefly, which side is it on? level with belly button? Could be appendicitis if it is. Best have it checked out my dear. Pain shouldn't be intolerable, when it is it usually means we need medical care.

It was lower right side. I took some tylenol and used a heating pad. It mostly went away, but feels like that numb pain.
 
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Jeshu

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It was lower right side. I took some tylenol and used a heating pad. It mostly went away, but feels like that numb pain.

It doesn't sound right. Pain doesn't usually come around without a reason. Have you got old scar tissue there from a previous injury or operation? Our daughter gets that at times and she reckons the pain can be agonizingly bad.
 
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W2L

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Oh brother how can you avoid them when satan places them on your path time and again? To overcome in the power of love is the answer you want to see.

A person can take only so much. Perhaps if we do not avoid such things then we will use up our strength, and not be able to stand when it is put in our path. The scriptures teach us to avoid the path of folly.
 
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W2L

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No I don't think so brother, not so much foolish as being deeply hurt and lashing out at your tormentors in your wounded state.

Our Lord, and everyone who is His, knows about that reality very well! I hurt it every day myself and rejoice the Words of our Lord each time He comes and comforts me with them.

Micah 7
What misery is mine!
I am like one who gathers summer fruit
at the gleaning of the vineyard;
there is no cluster of grapes to eat,
none of the early figs that I crave.
The faithful have been swept from the land;
not one upright person remains.
Everyone lies in wait to shed blood;
they hunt each other with nets.
Both hands are skilled in doing evil;
the ruler demands gifts,
the judge accepts bribes,
the powerful dictate what they desire—
they all conspire together.
The best of them is like a brier,
the most upright worse than a thorn hedge.
The day God visits you has come,
the day your watchmen sound the alarm.
Now is the time of your confusion.
Do not trust a neighbor;
put no confidence in a friend.
Even with the woman who lies in your embrace
guard the words of your lips.
For a son dishonors his father,
a daughter rises up against her mother,
a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law—
a man’s enemies are the members of his own household.


But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord,
I wait for God my Savior;
my God will hear me.



Do not gloat over me, my enemy!
Though I have fallen, I will rise.
Though I sit in darkness,
the Lord will be my light.
Because I have sinned against him,
I will bear the Lord’s wrath,
until he pleads my case
and upholds my cause.
He will bring me out into the light;
I will see his righteousness.
Then my enemy will see it
and will be covered with shame,
she who said to me,
“Where is the Lord your God?”
My eyes will see her downfall;
even now she will be trampled underfoot
like mire in the streets.


The day for building your walls will come,
the day for extending your boundaries.
In that day people will come to you
from Assyria and the cities of Egypt,
even from Egypt to the Euphrates
and from sea to sea
and from mountain to mountain.
The earth will become desolate because of its inhabitants,
as the result of their deeds.


Shepherd your people with your staff,
the flock of your inheritance,
which lives by itself in a forest,
in fertile pasturelands.
Let them feed in Bashan and Gilead
as in days long ago.


“As in the days when you came out of Egypt,
I will show them my wonders.”


Nations will see and be ashamed,
deprived of all their power.
They will put their hands over their mouths
and their ears will become deaf.
They will lick dust like a snake,
like creatures that crawl on the ground.
They will come trembling out of their dens;
they will turn in fear to the Lord our God
and will be afraid of you.
Who is a God like you,
who pardons sin and forgives the transgression
of the remnant of his inheritance?
You do not stay angry forever
but delight to show mercy.
You will again have compassion on us;
you will tread our sins underfoot
and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.
You will be faithful to Jacob,
and show love to Abraham,
as you pledged on oath to our ancestors
in days long ago.
It does hurt.
 
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Jeshu

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It does hurt.

Yes I know brother, it does, a lot! I still struggle here as well. I still can't go back to Church and sit silently by while our Lord's Name is blasphemed all day long, even in prayer. It hurts to much and the pain makes me angry and then.....

I'm history, especially when the rages come.

However then I can see for myself what lives inside and end up on my knees.

This piece here - the whole book of Ezekiel really - but this chapter stands out with regard to this issue.

Have a read and carefully study everything inside of your heart with regards to where dwells what when it comes to your brothers and sisters, within and without.

Understand that you that prays for forgiveness and grace for sinners/yourself are the Prince/king, Priest and Prophet - I let Jesus divide the land to you Himself (Revelation 5-7) and then you will begin to understand to integral goings of our Lord when it comes to sanctification and renewal.

To be able to atone with His blood is awesome though, but we need to follow The Word precisely on our duties and this can be hard. (As you can see I fall over all the time.)

Ezekiel 45
“‘When you allot the land as an inheritance, you are to present to the Lord a portion of the land as a sacred district, 25,000 cubitsa long and 20,000 cubits wide; the entire area will be holy. Of this, a section 500 cubits square is to be for the sanctuary, with 50 cubits around it for open land. In the sacred district, measure off a section 25,000 cubits long and 10,000 cubits wide. In it will be the sanctuary, the Most Holy Place. It will be the sacred portion of the land for the priests, who minister in the sanctuary and who draw near to minister before the Lord. It will be a place for their houses as well as a holy place for the sanctuary. An area 25,000 cubits long and 10,000 cubits wide will belong to the Levites, who serve in the temple, as their possession for towns to live in.

“‘You are to give the city as its property an area 5,000 cubits wide and 25,000 cubits long, adjoining the sacred portion; it will belong to all Israel.


“‘The prince will have the land bordering each side of the area formed by the sacred district and the property of the city. It will extend westward from the west side and eastward from the east side, running lengthwise from the western to the eastern border parallel to one of the tribal portions. This land will be his possession in Israel. And my princes will no longer oppress my people but will allow the people of Israel to possess the land according to their tribes.


“‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: You have gone far enough, princes of Israel! Give up your violence and oppression and do what is just and right. Stop dispossessing my people, declares the Sovereign Lord. You are to use accurate scales, an accurate ephah and an accurate bath. The ephah and the bath are to be the same size, the bath containing a tenth of a homer and the ephah a tenth of a homer; the homer is to be the standard measure for both. The shekel is to consist of twenty gerahs. Twenty shekels plus twenty-five shekels plus fifteen shekels equal one mina.


“‘This is the special gift you are to offer: a sixth of an ephah from each homer of wheat and a sixth of an ephah from each homer of barley. The prescribed portion of olive oil, measured by the bath, is a tenth of a bath from each cor (which consists of ten baths or one homer, for ten baths are equivalent to a homer). Also one sheep is to be taken from every flock of two hundred from the well-watered pastures of Israel. These will be used for the grain offerings, burnt offerings and fellowship offerings to make atonement for the people, declares the Sovereign Lord. All the people of the land will be required to give this special offering to the prince in Israel. It will be the duty of the prince to provide the burnt offerings, grain offerings and drink offerings at the festivals, the New Moons and the Sabbaths—at all the appointed festivals of Israel. He will provide the sin offerings, grain offerings, burnt offerings and fellowship offerings to make atonement for the Israelites.


“‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: In the first month on the first day you are to take a young bull without defect and purify the sanctuary. The priest is to take some of the blood of the sin offering and put it on the doorposts of the temple, on the four corners of the upper ledge of the altar and on the gateposts of the inner court. You are to do the same on the seventh day of the month for anyone who sins unintentionally or through ignorance; so you are to make atonement for the temple.


“‘In the first month on the fourteenth day you are to observe the Passover, a festival lasting seven days, during which you shall eat bread made without yeast. On that day the prince is to provide a bull as a sin offering for himself and for all the people of the land. Every day during the seven days of the festival he is to provide seven bulls and seven rams without defect as a burnt offering to the Lord, and a male goat for a sin offering. He is to provide as a grain offering an ephah for each bull and an ephah for each ram, along with a hin of olive oil for each ephah.


“‘During the seven days of the festival, which begins in the seventh month on the fifteenth day, he is to make the same provision for sin offerings, burnt offerings, grain offerings and oil.

The way I went about trying to get this word living in me is look how Jesus sanctified me from my sins in real life. E.g the cleaning process we go through in each individual sin and how our guilty state is done away with as sin is washed off.


To study the sacrificial offerings in the O.T will help you understand the language much better. Think here about sin offering, guilt offering, thank offering. The difference between a lamb and a goat and so on. It wont take long and you will see how Jesus goes about sanctifying us as we go along our way, just copy Him carefully and do to others as He does for you, and see how your feeling world changes about all this. (Honestly true brother. The Word has enormous powers to heal and sanctify.)

See also;

Psalms 66

Shout for joy to God, all the earth!
Sing the glory of his name;
make his praise glorious.
Say to God, “How awesome are your deeds!
So great is your power
that your enemies cringe before you.
All the earth bows down to you;
they sing praise to you,
they sing the praises of your name.


Come and see what God has done,
his awesome deeds for mankind!
He turned the sea into dry land,
they passed through the waters on foot—
come, let us rejoice in him.
He rules forever by his power,
his eyes watch the nations—
let not the rebellious rise up against him.


Praise our God, all peoples,

let the sound of his praise be heard;
he has preserved our lives
and kept our feet from slipping.
For you, God, tested us;
you refined us like silver.
You brought us into prison
and laid burdens on our backs.
You let people ride over our heads;
we went through fire and water,
but you brought us to a place of abundance.:bow::bow::bow:



I will come to your temple with burnt offerings

and fulfill my vows to you—
vows my lips promised and my mouth spoke
when I was in trouble.
I will sacrifice fat animals to you
and an offering of rams;
I will offer bulls and goats.:holy::holy::holy:


Come and hear, all you who fear God;

let me tell you what he has done for me.
I cried out to him with my mouth;
his praise was on my tongue.
If I had cherished sin in my heart,
the Lord would not have listened;
but God has surely listened
and has heard my prayer.
Praise be to God,
who has not rejected my prayer
or withheld his love from me!


 
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Goatee

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Yes I know brother, it does, a lot! I still struggle here as well. I still can't go back to Church and sit silently by while our Lord's Name is blasphemed all day long, even in prayer. It hurts to much and the pain makes me angry and then.....

In what way? How is the Lords name blasphemed in the church you have been to?
 
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Kristen.NewCreation

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This thread has been rolled over and can be found here.

Remember this forum is a no-debate area, and posts should be about how you're feeling with responses that are encouraging, supportive and prayerful.

 
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