Based on Isaiah 45:22, this morning, at 6, I prayed the following. "Lord Jesus, I turn to You to be saved, for you are God and there is no other." I understand since that moment that I am saved.
The OCD experts note that people with Religious OCD may keep "jumping for the carrot" by giving their lives to Christ again and again. But, they say, these "jumps" only lead to fleeting assurance and they strengthen the next wave of doubt. Based on expert statements and experience, I can say that my current assurance of salvation will be fleeting and that the next wave of doubt will be strong. But I think I can now say to my OCD, "Ephesians 1:13." And to my realization that my faith wavers, I can say "James 1:17."
Bob, you are looking in the wrong place for assurance. Assurance will not be found in "You." Focus you mind on what Jesus did for you when He died on the cross. I think of the nails that were used to nail Jesus to the cross as my sins, and then His blood covered them. Just like the 3rd verse of my favorite hymn, "It Is Well with My Soul" which is
My sin oh the bliss of this glorious thought, my sin not in part but tho whole is nailed to the cross and I bear them no more Praise the Lord Praise the Lord Oh my soul.
Think of when He was nailed to that cross that your sins were nailed there also, and His blood covered them so that God does not see them anymore. God says that He will remember our sins no more.
Romans 10:13 says "Whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be saved." I have heard preachers use that verse many times at the close of a sermon and then ask people to say a prayer to be saved. For many years I was confused about how just saying a prayer "in Jesus' name" would save someone. I did that many times thinking I would be saved, but the assurance would last for a day or 2, then I would be saying the prayer again hoping to find an assurance that would give me a lasting peace, but that never happened.
I was living almost daily in a state of fear & misery, thinking that I would never know that God had heard my prayer and had truly saved me. There was a missing link, and I was desperate to find it, but regardless of all my trying to believe & struggling with doubt, fear, & misery that missing link was not to be found anytime soon.
Bob, after years of struggling, I found that missing link when, out of a sense of hopeless desperation, I gave up on all my "trying to believe," and asked God to show me how to believe. Then I opened a bible to the Gospel of John and started reading from chapter 1 verse 1. Bob, that was the first time I had ever opened a bible outside of church, and when God saw that I had turned from "myself" to Him through His word, His Holy Spirit stepped in and became that "missing link."
By the time I had read through chapter 6, I had my answer, which was that I needed to look at the finished work of Jesus on the cross as the means of my salvation, and not to look at me. In other words, I needed to focus my trust or my confidence in or to rely on what Jesus had already done for me on the cross. He convinced me to trust in the cross, not in my prayer, or in anything that "I" had done or could do. Just simply rely on the finished work of Jesus on the cross, and leave it up to Him.
Back in Romans 10: 13 where it says that whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be saved, I found that if I looked at the next verse, verse 14, it says "And how shall they call on Him in whom thy have not believed, and how shall they believe in Him of whom they have not heard, and how shall they hear without a preacher."
That says to me that before we call on His name we must first "believe" or trust or put our confidence in His finished work on the cross where he paid the penalty for our sin, in full, which also suggests two possible outcomes of someone calling on the name of the Lord for salvation:
1. Someone hears a preacher say that if they will call on the name of the Lord to be saved that they will not spend eternity in hell, and of course no one wants to go to hell so they say a prayer that the preacher tells them to say so they will be "saved." But, the are trusting the preacher & in their prayer; not in the finished work of Jesus on the cross, and therefore they are not saved.
2. Someone hears the truth of the Gospel and when they hear that they are sinners who need to be forgiven, and hear that Jesus died on the cross to pay for their sin, and then they believe that message, and they want Jesus to forgive their sin, then that person calls out to the Lord for salvation. That person is trusting in the gospel message; not in their prayer or in the preacher. Actually, I think that a person is born again & saved the moment he/she "believes" the gospel message, and in their heart they want the forgiveness that only Jesus can give them, and that the act of calling out to the Lord is evidence of that person "believing." Otherwise why would someone call out to the Lord for salvation unless he/she "believed" the Lord would save them except for the person who "believes" the preacher and trusts in their prayer. I'm sure some posters here will attack me for saying that, but it's my thinking on the matter.
Bob, I said all of that to emphasize that you should focus your "believing" on Jesus' work on the cross, and not on yourself.
Hope this makes sense to you.
Regards,
John