I don't think I've responsed to this.
I think if I were in that situation, and my wife were a Christian, I'd tell my wife the following. I'd tell my wife what she was experiencing was probably lust. Lust is coveteousness. It doesn't have to be purely sexual.
Did she rush into marriage? Maybe. But you two have made a covenant. People used to get married in arranged marriages without knowing each other. It could work out becuase they realized marriage was a covenant, and the relationship would grow over time.
I would also say I wouldnt' go for the separate bedrooms or not sleeping together. I'd mention I Corinthians 7. Separate bedrooms pushes you apart. You aren't dating and need to start over. You are marrie dand are working on some issues. Married peopel are supposed to have sex. Hormonally, having sex is going to bond you two more than not having sex. Of course, you can say stuff like that gently, but it has to be more about convincing than pressure. She might just have sex outof duty, rather cold sex, and that isn't theobjective. Getting her to rethink her thought process is the objective, and you may need to give her some space. A married person does have a 'duty' to take care of the other spouse in this regard. Her depriving you of sex because she's allowed herself to think about an old boyfriend isnt' fair to you.
See if you can encourage her to care more about pleasing the Lord and also about being a good wive more than getting her emotional desires filled.
You can also assure her that your marriage is not based on a temproary emotional state. If she isn't feeling it, you will still be there for her, but of course you do not want her to act out at all on the lusts, and you don't tolerate adultery, and know that you must be faithful yourself.
Then I'd focus on praying with her about these feelings she's been having for the guy and about the marriage. If you've done anything wrong to her, confess that.
I think if I were in that situation, and my wife were a Christian, I'd tell my wife the following. I'd tell my wife what she was experiencing was probably lust. Lust is coveteousness. It doesn't have to be purely sexual.
Did she rush into marriage? Maybe. But you two have made a covenant. People used to get married in arranged marriages without knowing each other. It could work out becuase they realized marriage was a covenant, and the relationship would grow over time.
I would also say I wouldnt' go for the separate bedrooms or not sleeping together. I'd mention I Corinthians 7. Separate bedrooms pushes you apart. You aren't dating and need to start over. You are marrie dand are working on some issues. Married peopel are supposed to have sex. Hormonally, having sex is going to bond you two more than not having sex. Of course, you can say stuff like that gently, but it has to be more about convincing than pressure. She might just have sex outof duty, rather cold sex, and that isn't theobjective. Getting her to rethink her thought process is the objective, and you may need to give her some space. A married person does have a 'duty' to take care of the other spouse in this regard. Her depriving you of sex because she's allowed herself to think about an old boyfriend isnt' fair to you.
See if you can encourage her to care more about pleasing the Lord and also about being a good wive more than getting her emotional desires filled.
You can also assure her that your marriage is not based on a temproary emotional state. If she isn't feeling it, you will still be there for her, but of course you do not want her to act out at all on the lusts, and you don't tolerate adultery, and know that you must be faithful yourself.
Then I'd focus on praying with her about these feelings she's been having for the guy and about the marriage. If you've done anything wrong to her, confess that.
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