Why many people here use word girlfriend/boyfriend?

[bèlla]

What terms does the bible use in place of Girlfriend/boyfriend? I don't feel it's advisable to kiss during courtship either ( just an opinion), as it might end up leading to all sorts.. It's the idea behind isn't it? Are we talking just a brotherly sisterly kind of peck or is it something a lot more than that? Can one give their boyfriend/girlfriend an ordinary kiss and end there?! I think this is what we should be asking ourselves.

I don't feel it's advisable to kiss is not the same as God said it’s not advisable to kiss. You are adding to the word of God and that is wrong.

If you prefer to interact with your companion in a brotherly fashion. That’s fine. But don’t complain if others disagree and you find yourself waiting for a partner longer than expected. Your perspective requires a needle in the haystack. And needles don’t come around often.

This topic was covered in the Singles forum recently.

Would you wait for your wedding day to first kiss your husband or wife?

~Bella

 

[splish- splash]

I don't feel it's advisable to kiss is not the same as God said it’s not advisable to kiss. You are adding to the word of God and that is wrong.

If you prefer to interact with your companion in a brotherly fashion. That’s fine. But don’t complain if others disagree and you find yourself waiting for a partner longer than expected. Your perspective requires a needle in the haystack. And needles don’t come around often.

This topic was covered in the Singles forum recently.

Would you wait for your wedding day to first kiss your husband or wife?

~Bella

Absolutely Belz... I have no problem with waiting for my wedding day 1st.. By the way, I went onto state that it's just an opinion. Each man to his own really according to God's Word/Grace.

 

[bèlla]

Absolutely Belz... I have no problem with waiting for my wedding day 1st.. By the way, I went onto state that it's just an opinion. Each man to his own really according to God's Word/Grace.

It’s Bella. Not Belz.

Neither the OP or the majority of your responses suggest an opinion. You equated kissing to fornication and lust. Perhaps you’ve had a change of heart.

~Bella

 

[jahel]

The difference is between imagination and intuition. Imagination/fantasizing is what Jesus said led to adultery, whether married or not, married being to the new or old nature.

 

[theoneandonlypencil]

How about you try most of the New Testament verses on impurity and immorality.

All of the NT authors and all of the Christians in the churches who read the epistles would have understood romantic kissing between partners to be impure and sinful. So basically any verse that talks about sexual impurity includes that implication.


You can ignore it and say “it was their culture” if you want, but I mean, you asked for verses. 1 cor 6:18, Heb 13:4, definitely Gal 5:19. The authors and recipients of all of these epistles would have understood kissing between romantic kissing would be impurity.

Already read them. Never says kissing is a sin--plenty to say about premarital sex, tho. A little bold of you to add to the word of God.

I also don't take the Church's view on sexual activity in a very good light, considering it borderline demonized the act even between a married couple if not only for the sake of procreation.

 

[jahel]

.

 

[RaymondG]

I think you are wrong to say that I have fornicated with my mother, father, aunt, uncle, children and grand children. I have kissed every one of them.

Genesis 27:26
Then his father Isaac said to him, “Please come close and kiss me, my son.”

Genesis 29:13
So when Laban heard the news of Jacob his sister’s son, he ran to meet him, and embraced him and kissed him and brought him to his house. Then he related to Laban all these things.

Genesis 48:10
Now the eyes of Israel were so dim from age that he could not see. Then Joseph brought them close to him, and he kissed them and embraced them.

Matthew 26:49
Immediately Judas went to Jesus and said, “Hail, Rabbi!” and kissed Him.

Luke 15:20
So he got up and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion for him, and ran and embraced him and kissed him.

Acts 20:37
And they began to weep aloud and embraced Paul, and repeatedly kissed him,

Romans 16:16
Greet one another with a holy kiss. All the churches of Christ greet you.

So a kiss is sexual fornication? Prove it in the light of these scriptures.

1 Corinthians 16:20
All the brethren greet you. Greet one another with a holy kiss.

2 Corinthians 13:12
Greet one another with a holy kiss.

1 Thessalonians 5:26
Greet all the brethren with a holy kiss.

1 Peter 5:14
Greet one another with a kiss of love. Peace be to you all who are in Christ.

Prove how a kiss is fornication given the above bible verses.

Was it not made clear that the OP was talking only about the kissing between romantic partners who may or may not intend to marry in the future? There by rendering any references to the kissing between family member or friends in the lord, off topic???

 

[RaymondG]

I don't feel it's advisable to kiss is not the same as God said it’s not advisable to kiss. You are adding to the word of God and that is wrong.

Do you feel that two people who are in a relationship, which can lead to marriage, can be alone, or in public, kissing and not feel any sort of lust for each other? e.g. kissing their partner would render the same feelings as kissing, say, a grandmother?

 

[Dave-W]

Was it not made clear that the OP was talking only about the kissing between romantic partners who may or may not intend to marry in the future?

No it was not at all. The full total of any reference to kissing in the OP is this:

Kiss is fornication too, because it is sexual activity.

I see no limits or exclusions in that statement.

BTW - Verse 2 of the opening of Song of Solomon has the (as yet unwed) Shulamite exclaiming “May he kiss me with the kisses of his mouth!" The actual marriage comes a couple of chapters later.

 

[theoneandonlypencil]

Do you feel that two people who are in a relationship, which can lead to marriage, can be alone, or in public, kissing and not feel any sort of lust for each other? e.g. kissing their partner would render the same feelings as kissing, say, a grandmother?

Lust and physical attraction are not the same thing, you know. Originally, the term 'lust' biblically meant to covet something--and in a much stronger manner than romantic attraction. That's sinful.

Kissing your significant other in the heat of the moment? Not sinful.

Undressing them with your eyes and wanting to have wild, lusty sex? Yeah, that's sinful.

Also, pray tell; how are we supposed to know if we're attracted to someone if we feel nothing towards them that indicates 'romantic love' and not 'family love'?

 

[barefeetonholyground]

A lot of what you're saying reminds me of the pharisees and their way of looking at God's law.
A great example was about remembering the Sabbath and keeping it Holy. They took it to the extreme where they believed that walking through a grain field could be sinful because if they stepped on a head a wheat they would be grinding it with their feet and would therefore be working. Then the enforced crazy beliefs like this on others and considered others sinful for doing such a thing when God never commanded them not to walk through grain fields on the Sabbath!
The Bible never says not to use the terms boyfriend or girlfriend. If you believe that this isn't godly that's fine, but calling out other Christians for using the terms you believe are sinful when God never commanded us not to use them is very much in line with the behavior Jesus repeatedly rebuked.
The Bible also has some scary warnings to those who add commands to it that weren't originally there:

“Every word of God is flawless;
to those who take refuge in him.
Do not add to his words,
or he will rebuke you and prove you a liar.

Do not add to what I command you and do not subtract from it, but keep the commands of the Lord your God that I give you.

I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this scroll: If anyone adds anything to them, God will add to that person the plagues described in this scroll. And if anyone takes words away from this scroll of prophecy, God will take away from that person any share in the tree of life and in the Holy City, which are described in this scroll.

 

[Dave-W]

Do you feel that two people who are in a relationship, which can lead to marriage, can be alone, or in public, kissing and not feel any sort of lust for each other?

IMO you are operating on a modern western definition of "lust" and NOT what would have been understood by the original audience.

Go re-read my post #17.

 

[Dave-W]

Undressing them with your eyes and wanting to have wild, lusty sex? Yeah, that's sinful.

Is it? I am not so sure.

I am sure most christian couples come to their wedding day/night with a VERY strong desire to have sex. And there is a lot of thought given to setting the right mood, the right clothing, how that clothing is going on and coming back off. That is NOT lust at all.

 

[theoneandonlypencil]

Is it? I am not so sure.

I am sure most christian couples come to their wedding day/night with a VERY strong desire to have sex. And there is a lot of thought given to setting the right mood, the right clothing, how that clothing is going on and coming back off. That is NOT lust at all.

I think you and I can agree there's a quality difference between lusting after someone for what their body can offer, and wanting to 'come together' with someone you love and cherish. I was talking about the former, not the latter.

 

[theoneandonlypencil]

Also, it's worth noting that boyfriend/girlfriend DOES NOT automatically equate to premarital sex and cohabitation. Just like modern marriage does not always mean a wholesome, biblical marriage.

A boyfriend/girlfriend is someone you're 'courting', essentially. You have exclusivity and give one another special attention while you get to know each other and see if you'd be good for marriage.

There's a lot of nasty behavior that doesn't come out until someone is comfortable enough, so this process also can help people avoid abusers, liars, etc without jumping right in and marrying them.

 

[Halbhh]

Why many people here use word girlfriend/boyfriend?
We must live according to bible. Where in bible is used word girlfriend/boyfriend?
Is this not fornication? Fornication means to have sexual activity without being married to the human. Kiss is fornication too, because it is sexual activity. What do you think?

In America, the words 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend' are used in a variety of ways that are not quite the same, some even quite different.

An American couple that is considering or already planning to marry, and are still celibate, will call the person that they are considering or have committed to their "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" early on, or even late, often. In America we don't usually use a more formal term like "betrothed" or "fiance" though some will at times.

So, you cannot conclude anything from merely the word boyfriend or girlfriend, even though some mean something quite different than others. You'd have to hear more information.

It's concerning though that many seek to judge others when they themselves are still sinning, sometimes in ways that they don't even admit, like failing to love neighbors, for instance.

Christ's warning in Matthew 7 isn't to be dismissed.

For all, it's need to periodically, or occasionally refresh: Philippians 2:12 Therefore, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not only in my presence, but now even more in my absence, continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling. Paul wrote to a church already doing well. Already doing well, and that's what he wrote to them.

 

[jahel]

A kiss is fornication according to scripture when told to kiss the Son lest He be angry and then turn around and betray Him with a kiss.

 

[bèlla]

Do you feel that two people who are in a relationship, which can lead to marriage, can be alone, or in public, kissing and not feel any sort of lust for each other? e.g. kissing their partner would render the same feelings as kissing, say, a grandmother?

I think James is a good starting point for your question.

“But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.“ —James 1:14-15

We know that kissing doesn’t automatically lead to fornication. Nor does holding hands. Or being alone for that matter.

Why is that? The desire to go beyond the boundaries set must exist prior to its commencement. This is why you pay for purchases instead of walking out of the store without paying. You know theft is wrong and the affinity for stealing does not exist.

No one falls into bed. You’ve been heading in that direction within your person. We may cite weakness, inebriation, and other factors which lessen our culpability. But the fact remains. If fornication isn’t your aim. You won’t do it. If you aren’t entertaining ideas about your partner sexually you’ll be less susceptible to temptation than those who do.

For the latter, we have a solution. The thoughts must be taken captive and denounced. Not as wrong per se. But inappropriate in light of the situation. They’re unmarried.

We have a term for this in modern lingo. Capture the mind and the body follows. The battle isn’t with your flesh. It’s in your head.

~Bella

 

[theoneandonlypencil]

I think James is a good starting point for your question.

“But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.“ —James 1:14-15

We know that kissing doesn’t automatically lead to fornication. Nor does holding hands. Or being alone for that matter.

Why is that? The desire to go beyond the boundaries set must exist prior to its commencement. This is why you pay for purchases instead of walking out of the store without paying. You know theft is wrong and the affinity for stealing does not exist.

No one falls into bed. You’ve been heading in that direction within your person. We may cite weakness, inebriation, and other factors which lessen our culpability. But the fact remains. If fornication isn’t your aim. You won’t do it. If you aren’t entertaining ideas about your partner sexually you’ll be less susceptible to temptation than those who do.

For the latter, we have a solution. The thoughts must be taken captive and denounced. Not as wrong per se. But inappropriate in light of the situation. They’re unmarried.

We have a term for this in modern lingo. Capture the mind and the body follows. The battle isn’t with your flesh. It’s in your head.

~Bella

Eloquent and informative as always. I'd expect nothing less from a Lady of your caliber, Bella!

 

[theoneandonlypencil]

A kiss is fornication according to scripture when told to kiss the Son lest He be angry and then turn around and betray Him with a kiss.

...Are you implying Judas committed fornication by kissing Jesus to betray him--